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Deion S. Williams
Can Men and
Women Be
Friends?
If men are from Mars and women are from
Venus, it may explain at least one of their shared
beliefs: Men and women can't be real friends.
Blame the sexual tension that almost inevitably
exists between any red-blooded, heterosexual
man and woman. Point to the jealousy that
plagues many rational people when a significant
other befriends someone of the opposite sex. Boil
it down to the inherent differences between the
sexes. It just can't be done. Right?
Introductio
n
Can They Be Real Friends
Just Friends
Defining the Relationship:
Friends or Lovers?
Overcoming Attraction: Let's
Talk About Sex
Establishing Equality:
The Power Play
• You can’t really be friends
• There’s more to your relationship
• You two will eventually be together
• Men and women cant be friends
• You guys are obviously sleeping together
The Public Eye: Dealing
with Doubters
The Meeting Place:
Finding Friends
Guys Reveal Sexual
Interest in Gal Pals
Friends with
benefits
Friendship Is Not Equal
Opportunity
Men Benefit More from Cross-
Sex Friendship
• Relaxing Conversations
• Feel more protected
• Learning how/what men think about women
But Women Benefit,
Too
• Males are more emotional around female
friends
• Talk more about life to each other
• Joking and laughing at others
• Emotional Comfort
Cross-Sex Friendships Are
Emotionally Rewarding
In reality, sex isn't always on the agenda," said Werking.
"That could be due to sexual orientation, lack of
physical attraction or involvement in another romantic
relationship." After all, even friends who are attracted
to each other may also recognize that qualities they
tolerate in a friendship wouldn't necessarily work in a
serious romantic relationship. And after years of
considering someone as a friend, it often becomes
difficult to see a cross-sex pal as a romantic possibility.
It's Not All About
Sex
Men and women have increasingly similar
rights, opportunities and interests, which can
make cross-sex friendship very political, noted
Werking. "It upsets the agreed-upon social
order," she explains. "Women and men engage in
an equal relationship, or they aren't friends." For
one thing, new generations of kids grow up
believing that boys can play with dolls and girls
can take kickboxing, and they're crossing paths
more frequently as a result.
Male-Female Friendships Are
Political
So Can Men and Women Be
Friends or Not
 So it seems the answer that emerged from the
research is one confirmed by most everyone’s real-
life experience: it simply depends
 Every person’s situation is different, and the number
of opinions on this subject are numerous (and often
heatedly held!). But I will nonetheless humbly
submit that the best way to gauge the viability of
cross-sex friendships is by using a sliding scale,
girded by two general guidelines.
So Can Men and Women Be
Friends or Not
So Can Men and Women Be
Friends or Not
In closing….. So, can men and women really be
friends? Sure they can. With caveats. The caveats, after
all, are what make this complicated issue so
interesting and ensure we’ll still be discussing the
question for another hundred years!
Chatterjee, C. (2001). Can men and women be friends. Psychology Today,
34(5).
Puentes, J., Knox, D., & Zusman, M. E. (2008). Participants in" friends with
benefits" relationships. College Student Journal, 42(1), 176.
Epstein, M., Calzo, J. P., Smiler, A. P., & Ward, L. M. (2009). “Anything from
making out to having sex”: Men's negotiations of hooking up and friends
with benefits scripts. Journal of sex research, 46(5), 414-424.
Bisson, M. A., & Levine, T. R. (2007). Negotiating a Friends with Benefits
Relationship.
Reference
s
Connolly, J. A., & McIsaac, C. (2009). Romantic relationships in adolescence.
Handbook of adolescent psychology.
Owen, J., & Fincham, F. D. (2011). Effects of gender and psychosocial factors
on “friends with benefits” relationships among young adults. Archives of
Sexual Behavior, 40(2), 311-320.
Lehmiller, J. J., VanderDrift, L. E., & Kelly, J. R. (2011). Sex differences in
approaching friends with benefits relationships. Journal of sex research, 48(2-
3), 275-284.
Wentland, J. J., & Reissing, E. D. (2011). Taking casual sex not too casually:
Exploring definitions of casual sexual relationships. The Canadian Journal of
Human Sexuality, 20(3), 75-91.
Referenc
es
Psychology Today © Copyright 1991-2008 Sussex Publishers, LLC
115 East 23rd Street, 9th Floor, New York, NY 10010
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2015/10/20/can-men-and-women-
just-be-friends/
References

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Can men and women be friends

  • 1. Deion S. Williams Can Men and Women Be Friends?
  • 2. If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, it may explain at least one of their shared beliefs: Men and women can't be real friends. Blame the sexual tension that almost inevitably exists between any red-blooded, heterosexual man and woman. Point to the jealousy that plagues many rational people when a significant other befriends someone of the opposite sex. Boil it down to the inherent differences between the sexes. It just can't be done. Right? Introductio n
  • 3. Can They Be Real Friends
  • 8. • You can’t really be friends • There’s more to your relationship • You two will eventually be together • Men and women cant be friends • You guys are obviously sleeping together The Public Eye: Dealing with Doubters
  • 12. Friendship Is Not Equal Opportunity
  • 13. Men Benefit More from Cross- Sex Friendship
  • 14. • Relaxing Conversations • Feel more protected • Learning how/what men think about women But Women Benefit, Too
  • 15. • Males are more emotional around female friends • Talk more about life to each other • Joking and laughing at others • Emotional Comfort Cross-Sex Friendships Are Emotionally Rewarding
  • 16. In reality, sex isn't always on the agenda," said Werking. "That could be due to sexual orientation, lack of physical attraction or involvement in another romantic relationship." After all, even friends who are attracted to each other may also recognize that qualities they tolerate in a friendship wouldn't necessarily work in a serious romantic relationship. And after years of considering someone as a friend, it often becomes difficult to see a cross-sex pal as a romantic possibility. It's Not All About Sex
  • 17. Men and women have increasingly similar rights, opportunities and interests, which can make cross-sex friendship very political, noted Werking. "It upsets the agreed-upon social order," she explains. "Women and men engage in an equal relationship, or they aren't friends." For one thing, new generations of kids grow up believing that boys can play with dolls and girls can take kickboxing, and they're crossing paths more frequently as a result. Male-Female Friendships Are Political
  • 18. So Can Men and Women Be Friends or Not  So it seems the answer that emerged from the research is one confirmed by most everyone’s real- life experience: it simply depends  Every person’s situation is different, and the number of opinions on this subject are numerous (and often heatedly held!). But I will nonetheless humbly submit that the best way to gauge the viability of cross-sex friendships is by using a sliding scale, girded by two general guidelines.
  • 19. So Can Men and Women Be Friends or Not
  • 20. So Can Men and Women Be Friends or Not In closing….. So, can men and women really be friends? Sure they can. With caveats. The caveats, after all, are what make this complicated issue so interesting and ensure we’ll still be discussing the question for another hundred years!
  • 21. Chatterjee, C. (2001). Can men and women be friends. Psychology Today, 34(5). Puentes, J., Knox, D., & Zusman, M. E. (2008). Participants in" friends with benefits" relationships. College Student Journal, 42(1), 176. Epstein, M., Calzo, J. P., Smiler, A. P., & Ward, L. M. (2009). “Anything from making out to having sex”: Men's negotiations of hooking up and friends with benefits scripts. Journal of sex research, 46(5), 414-424. Bisson, M. A., & Levine, T. R. (2007). Negotiating a Friends with Benefits Relationship. Reference s
  • 22. Connolly, J. A., & McIsaac, C. (2009). Romantic relationships in adolescence. Handbook of adolescent psychology. Owen, J., & Fincham, F. D. (2011). Effects of gender and psychosocial factors on “friends with benefits” relationships among young adults. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40(2), 311-320. Lehmiller, J. J., VanderDrift, L. E., & Kelly, J. R. (2011). Sex differences in approaching friends with benefits relationships. Journal of sex research, 48(2- 3), 275-284. Wentland, J. J., & Reissing, E. D. (2011). Taking casual sex not too casually: Exploring definitions of casual sexual relationships. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 20(3), 75-91. Referenc es
  • 23. Psychology Today © Copyright 1991-2008 Sussex Publishers, LLC 115 East 23rd Street, 9th Floor, New York, NY 10010 http://www.artofmanliness.com/2015/10/20/can-men-and-women- just-be-friends/ References