If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, it may explain at least one of their shared beliefs: Men and women can't be real friends. Blame the sexual tension that almost inevitably exists between any red-blooded, heterosexual man and woman. Point to the jealousy that plagues many rational people when a significant other befriends someone of the opposite sex. Boil it down to the inherent differences between the sexes. It just can't be done. Right?

1. Deion S. Williams
Can Men and
Women Be
Friends?

2. If men are from Mars and women are from
Venus, it may explain at least one of their shared
beliefs: Men and women can't be real friends.
Blame the sexual tension that almost inevitably
exists between any red-blooded, heterosexual
man and woman. Point to the jealousy that
plagues many rational people when a significant
other befriends someone of the opposite sex. Boil
it down to the inherent differences between the
sexes. It just can't be done. Right?
Introductio
n

3. Can They Be Real Friends

4. Just Friends

5. Defining the Relationship:
Friends or Lovers?

6. Overcoming Attraction: Let's
Talk About Sex

7. Establishing Equality:
The Power Play

8. • You can’t really be friends
• There’s more to your relationship
• You two will eventually be together
• Men and women cant be friends
• You guys are obviously sleeping together
The Public Eye: Dealing
with Doubters

9. The Meeting Place:
Finding Friends

10. Guys Reveal Sexual
Interest in Gal Pals

11. Friends with
benefits

12. Friendship Is Not Equal
Opportunity

13. Men Benefit More from Cross-
Sex Friendship

14. • Relaxing Conversations
• Feel more protected
• Learning how/what men think about women
But Women Benefit,
Too

15. • Males are more emotional around female
friends
• Talk more about life to each other
• Joking and laughing at others
• Emotional Comfort
Cross-Sex Friendships Are
Emotionally Rewarding

16. In reality, sex isn't always on the agenda," said Werking.
"That could be due to sexual orientation, lack of
physical attraction or involvement in another romantic
relationship." After all, even friends who are attracted
to each other may also recognize that qualities they
tolerate in a friendship wouldn't necessarily work in a
serious romantic relationship. And after years of
considering someone as a friend, it often becomes
difficult to see a cross-sex pal as a romantic possibility.
It's Not All About
Sex

17. Men and women have increasingly similar
rights, opportunities and interests, which can
make cross-sex friendship very political, noted
Werking. "It upsets the agreed-upon social
order," she explains. "Women and men engage in
an equal relationship, or they aren't friends." For
one thing, new generations of kids grow up
believing that boys can play with dolls and girls
can take kickboxing, and they're crossing paths
more frequently as a result.
Male-Female Friendships Are
Political

18. Chatterjee, C. (2001). Can men and women be friends. Psychology Today,
34(5).
Puentes, J., Knox, D., & Zusman, M. E. (2008). Participants in" friends with
benefits" relationships. College Student Journal, 42(1), 176.
Epstein, M., Calzo, J. P., Smiler, A. P., & Ward, L. M. (2009). “Anything from
making out to having sex”: Men's negotiations of hooking up and friends
with benefits scripts. Journal of sex research, 46(5), 414-424.
Bisson, M. A., & Levine, T. R. (2007). Negotiating a Friends with Benefits
Relationship.
Reference
s

19. Connolly, J. A., & McIsaac, C. (2009). Romantic relationships in adolescence.
Handbook of adolescent psychology.
Owen, J., & Fincham, F. D. (2011). Effects of gender and psychosocial factors
on “friends with benefits” relationships among young adults. Archives of
Sexual Behavior, 40(2), 311-320.
Lehmiller, J. J., VanderDrift, L. E., & Kelly, J. R. (2011). Sex differences in
approaching friends with benefits relationships. Journal of sex research, 48(2-
3), 275-284.
Wentland, J. J., & Reissing, E. D. (2011). Taking casual sex not too casually:
Exploring definitions of casual sexual relationships. The Canadian Journal of
Human Sexuality, 20(3), 75-91.
Referenc
es

20. Psychology Today © Copyright 1991-2008 Sussex Publishers, LLC
115 East 23rd Street, 9th Floor, New York, NY 10010
References