This document discusses the behaviors and mindsets of trusted advisors. It outlines that trusted advisors understand communication is strategic, relationships matter, and it's important to consider others' perspectives. Trusted advisors focus on tasks, identities, and relationships in interactions. They are sensitive to others, ask questions, and pay attention to nonverbal cues. Trusted advisors also build powerful networks, deliver thoughtful feedback, manage expectations strategically, and carefully tend important relationships. The document emphasizes adapting communication styles to different audiences and considering how word choices can foster or undermine trust.

1. Behaviors of a Trusted Advisor
FCN 20 October 2011

2. Agenda
!! Welcome and introductions
!! Realities
!! What trusted advisors know and understand
!! What trusted advisors do
!! Final thoughts

3. reality is that which,
when you stop
believing in it,
doesn’t go away.!
3

4. Trust
noun
1. Firm belief in the reliability,
truth, ability, or strength of
someone or something.
4

5. 5

6. What Trusted Advisors Know &
Understand
!! Communication is a strategic activity
!! Why smart people sometimes fail
!! Relationships and connections matter
!! It’s all about the frame
6

7. Three Goals at the Heart of All
Interaction
!! Task Goal:
"! What do I want people to know?
"! What do I want people to believe or feel?
"! What do I want people to do?
!! Identity Goal:
"! How do I want to be seen?
!! Relationship Goal:
"! What type of relationship am I trying to continue or build?

11. Communication Styles
!! Expressive
–! Situations are static.
–! Directness and clarity in communication.
–! “Say what you think.”
!! Conventional
–! Situations have conventional meanings.
–! Adaptive to social situations.
–! “Say what’s appropriate.”
!! Strategic
–! Situations are created by behaviors and messages.
–! Communication is a strategic tool to manage outcomes.
–! “How you say what you say makes all the difference.”

12. How Does Each Type Approach
Communication?
Expressive Conventional Strategic
Focus on self: internal needs. Focus on what’s demanded by Focus on self and others:
the situation and how to achieve relational needs.
personal goals.
Generally insensitive to others. Sensitive to others when the Sensitive to others’
situation demands it. perspectives: empathetic.
Managing impressions is Impression management is a Impressions are formed and
manipulative: “Take me for what I skill: “You only get one chance to reformed as we exchange
am.” make a first impression, so put information.
your best foot forward.”
Task is everything: “Did you get Image counts: “What do others Relationships are everything:
the job done?” Everything else is think of you? Are you positioned “Mutual cooperation is long-
a conversation. for success?” term success.”

13. What Can You Do Now to Become
More Strategic?
!! Constantly focus on the ideal outcome of your communication – planning task,
identity, and relationship goals. (Being ‘right’ versus being ‘effective.’)
–! Task: What do I want to achieve?
–! Identity: How do I need to be seen?
–! Relationship: What type of relationship do I need to build?
!! Realize that there are no magic formulas to apply when it comes to
communication.
!! Ask more questions.
!! Be flexible in communication, recognizing the negotiation process.
!! Pay attention to nonverbal communication and address gaps between words
and expressions.
!! Start spending time thinking about your relationships.

14. Trustworthiness
Assessment
!! Credibility
What’s the gap
!! Reliability between your
!! Personal Connection stakeholder’s
!! Motives perceptions and
!! Results reality?
Based on The Trusted Advisor, by D. Maister,
C. Green, & R. Galford

15. Trustworthiness
Assessment
!! Credibility How can you move the
!! Reliability needle?
!! Personal Connection
!! Motives
!! Results

16. You are always
negotiating the
relationship.

17. Things That Make You Go
Hmmmmm…
Competent
Competent
Jerk Star Star
Jerk
Competence
Incompetent Lovable
Jerk
Incompetent Fool
Lovable
Jerk Fool
Source: Harvard Business Review, July
2005 (Fool vs. Jerk: Whom Would You Hire; Likeability
T. Casciaro & M. Sousa Lobo)

18. 18

19. When Frames Collide…
!! After attending a concert of Schubert’s Unfinished Symphony, a process guru
handed the conductor the following memo:
–! For considerable periods, the oboe players had nothing to do. Their numbers
should be reduced and their work shared throughout the orchestra.
–! All 12 violins were playing identical notes with identical motions. The staff of this
section should be drastically cut resulting in immediate savings.
–! Much effort was expended playing 16th notes. All notes should be rounded to the
nearest eighth. This will allow the use of trainees and lower-grade operators with
no loss of quality.
–! No useful purpose appears to be served by repeating with horns the same
passage that has already been handled by the strings. If all such redundant passages
were eliminated, there would be significant savings in salaries and overhead.
–! If Schubert had attended to these matters on a cost-containment basis, he
probably would have been able to finish his symphony.
19

20. Framing
!! All professions have their own ways of seeing the world
that are “common sense” to the people in that profession.
!! Most professions also have their own specialized language.
!! To people outside a particular profession, the frames of
reference may seem foreign and the specialized language
sounds like “a bunch of confusing jargon.”
20

21. There’s nothing wrong
with PR people talking
like PR people with
other PR people.
21

22. A Framing Exercise…
Tailoring your conversation, so that you’re most
effective when interacting with…
A professional
An HR professional
from the Legal
department
How would you define their frames of reference?
What will you say or do, or avoid saying or doing as a
result of knowing the lens through which they see the
world?
22

23. Your Key Stakeholders
!! Who are they?
!! What are their frames of reference?
!! How are they like you (you share a frame)?
!! How are they different (your frames differ)?
23

24. Words That Work:
Communicating Beyond Your
World
!! Word choices take on disproportionate importance,
because…
…in the absence of other cues, people make judgments
about us and whether or not we “get it.”
!! The words we choose can foster trust or create mistrust.
24

25. Word Choices
Illegal aliens Undocumented workers
Harmonizing Censorship
Drilling for oil Exploring for energy
Right-sizing Layoff
Change initiative Transformation
Inheritance tax Death tax
25

26. The Point Is…
!! While word choice isn’t everything, word choices do have significant
consequences.
!! We can learn to frame messages into the language of the audience
that we are trying to effectively inform and influence in order to get
better results.
!! We Need To Ask Ourselves…
1.! What words and themes will make sense to them…will come
across as plain old common sense?
2.! What are some of the words, distinctions, terms or phrases we
use that are commonsense to us, but likely to frustrate, annoy, or
alienate those outside our world?
26

27. What Trusted Advisors Do
!! They build powerful networks
!! They deliver feedback to inform and influence
!! They strategically manage expectations
!! They carefully manage the relationships that
matter most
!! They play the part
27

28. Who is this?
This story is from “The Tipping
Point” by Malcolm Gladwell;
chapter 2, pages 30-34.

29. Creating Allies (or Advocates)
!! The value of your network is based on:
–!Number of advocates.
–!Network laws and constraints.
!! It is not about “working the network”—it’s
about understanding how networks work.

33. What’s Your “Network Type”?
!! Isolate
–! Solitary recluse communicates infrequently, if at all.
!! Most of us (Typicals)
–! Communicate with average frequency to an average number of
people.
!! Bridge
–! Communicates the same amount as others but has key
relationships with people from a variety of groups.
!! Star
–! Communicates and maintains relationships with a significantly
greater number of people than the average person.

34. The greatest power you
have is the power to
change the way
someone feels.

35. How We Interpret Feedback
Messages
1
+ Positive Flattery
Feedback
Valence
_ Constructive Insult
Criticism
High Low
Utility

36. Feedback Models
Universal Use:
!! More of…less of…appreciate most
!! Continue…stop…start
!! Feedforward: On a scale of 1-10, how would you
rate…? What would it take to get to a x?
Event Driven:
!! Here’s what I observed…the impact was…and my
recommendation is…

37. 37

38. Positively Violate Expectations
Expectancy Violation Theory
-1 0
Expectations
High
0 +1
Low
Low High
Results

39. 39

40. 15 x 2 > 1 x 30

42. 42

43. With Regard to Powerful and
Attractive Markers…
…the best style is a blended style. Know your predominant
style and learn how to use and balance these markers to
achieve the desired effect as you interact with others.
100% 100%
STYLE SUBSTANCE

45. Behaviors of a Trusted Advisor
Thank you!
Lynne Viscio
CRA, Inc.
lviscio@crainc.com