Muhamad Shabarek will lead a workshop on basic skills of coaching and mentoring in Aleppo from July 17-20, 2022. He has over 17 years of experience in the EuroMed region and Syria working for organizations like the European Commission, UN agencies, and NGOs. The document discusses the differences between coaching and mentoring, focusing on their goals, timeframes, processes, and environments. It also covers the benefits of coaching for individuals, examples of coaching in practice, and ethics that are important for effective mentoring relationships.

1. Basic skills of
Coaching and
Mentoring
Muhamad Shabarek
Aleppo 17-20 July 2022

2. Muhamad SHABAREK
Senior Development Expert with more
than 17 years in working in EuroMed
region and Syria (including European
Commission, UN Agencies, NGOs and
supporting youth lead initiatives), former
UNDP Syria Innovation Manager, JCI
Syria 2017 National President, Research
fellow at the centre for Syrian Studies
(University of St. Andrews), Coach,
facilitator and Trainer, holds an MSc. in
Governance in Policy, BSc in Economics. 2

3. Have you been into meetings?
• Have you been into meetings?
• Have you been in more than one meeting during the month of July?
• Have you been in a bad meeting?
• What does make a meeting “bad”?
3

4. THE GIFT

5. Coaching and Mentoring
• What is a mentor?
‘The mentor is someone – usually more senior
or experienced – who is appointed or chosen
to help and advise another employee’
(Downey, M 2002: Effective Coaching)

6. Coaching and Mentoring
• What is a coach?
Coaching is the unlocking a persons / groups
potential to maximize their own performance.
It is helping them to learn rather than teaching
them.
(Gallway, T in Whitmore, J 2009: Coaching For
Performance)

7. Difference between coaching and mentoring
7

8. Coaching and Mentoring
Clutterbuck and Megginson (2010) attempt to define the difference by stating that
coaching affects performance change and that mentoring influences career self-
management.
Focus Role Processes Environment
Coach Specific areas
or issues at
work
Short-
term
Does not need to be
SME
Tends to be structured,
regular meetings
Mentor Career and
personal
development
Long-
term,
holistic
Usually more
experienced. Passes
on knowledge and
development
Infrequent, informal
meetings. Mentee sets
agenda, seeks
advice/guidance/ support

9. Coaching Mentoring
Orientation Ask Orientation Tell Orientation
Focus Solution focus (rather than problem focus), mainly on learning (specific
and measurable goals), talent/skill-oriented
Solution focus (rather than problem focus), typically developmental (Mentee’s
overall development), business growth-oriented
Goal setting By the coach and coachee Determined by the mentee
Timeframe Short term to intermediate Mainly long term
Frequency Structured (scheduled meetings) Unstructured
Purpose Business (sub-topic)-related learning Current performance that is future-related (including family, career, changes)
Objective Helping improve or transform individual, team organisation
performance through learning.
Creating opportunities, encouraging development, fostering and supporting
decisions.
Approach Concrete actionable steps
Officially engaged
Strategize methods to handle various situations
The coach asks thought-provoking questions.
Helping another to solve problems (through asking questions)
Provide advice based on personal experiences
Help based on goodwill and usually on an informal basis
Take a “here is what I did” approach
Usually, the mentor provides answers to questions.
Giving advice, offering guidance.
Nature of people Professionally trained Experienced in specific role of industry
9

10. Coaching
Benefits for the individual
• Have a positive impact on performance
• Learn to solve own problems
• Improve managerial skills
• Learn how to identify and act on development needs
• Greater confidence
• Greater self-awareness
• Identify and resolve issues that might otherwise affect performance
• Acquire new skills and abilities
• Develop greater adaptability to change

11. Coaching in Practice
‘If we did all the things we were
capable of doing, we would
literally astound ourselves.’
Thomas Edison

12. Performance Equation
• Performance = Potential - Interference
• “He must think of his people in terms of their potential, not their performance.” (Whitmore
2009)

13. Interference (Psychology)
Confidence
Attitude
Motivation
Stress
Fear

14. Performance equation in
action
Confidence
Motivation
Fear
Potential
Actual potential

15. What is the role of the
coach?
• Observation and listening techniques
• Effective questioning
• Constructive feedback
• Goal setting

16. The Coaching and mentorship journey
Conduct a
need
assessment
Create a
checklist of
essential
resources
Build
relationships
Support
development
Post-
evaluation
16

17. My Plan (15 +5 min) - example
• What do you value most?
• Why you are here, what is your mission?
• What will people follow you as a leader?
• Who are the 3 key people in your life?
• What are they important to you?
• What is your 2022 personal vision (private and personal)?
• What is your 2022 JCI vision for your national or local organisation?
• What are the main actions you have to take in your personal life to achieve
what you want?
• What are the main activities you have to take as a JCI member to achieve what
you want?
• What will be the main obstacles to reach your personal 2022 vision?
• What will be the main obstacles to reach your 2022 vision for your national or
local organisation?
• What will it give to you to reach your personal 2022 vision?
• What will give you to reach your 2022 JCI vision for your national or local
organisation
4 5
2 3
12 13
10 11
1
6 7
8 9

18. Feel One

19. “The mentor relationship
is one of the most
complex and
developmentally
important a [person] can
have in early adulthood”
Daniel LEVINSON ET AL. (1978)
19

20. Mentorship Ethics
Why Important?
• Long in duration, sometimes, in perpetuity…
• Gradually more reciprocal, bonded, and intimate.
• Informal mentorships driven by “chemistry.”
• Mentor (often) holds power relative to the mentee.
• Involve numerous, overlapping roles.
• Always evolving…
The ethical principles and boundaries that guide and support mentoring are:
• Promote the best interests of the mentee and do no harm.
• Model responsibility and integrity.
• Respect the mentee’s rights and dignity.
20

21. 1. Level of Relationship Formality
• Formality = variations in visibility,
focus, and duration. (chemistry,
proximity, frequency)
• Informal/Organic relationships = more
robust benefits.
• Informed Consent???
• Appropriate information about
expectations, potential benefits,
and potential risks
21

22. Case Vignette
• A graduate student in her fifth year of doctoral training files an ethics complaint with a
university ethics committee claiming that her dissertation chair and advisor, Dr. Porous,
abandoned her, leaving her emotionally distressed. It appears the two developed an unusual
level of attachment due to frequent socializing and development of a personal relationship
that many at the university described as “intense.” The student had several life crises and
emotional problems during her training and Dr. Porous would frequently provide what
amounted to “psychotherapy sessions” that were as frequent as three to four times a week.
He encouraged her to contact him by phone after hours and often invited her along to
events with his family. The student became quite distressed when, on her graduation, Dr.
Porous attempted to terminate the mentorship.
22

23. 2. Competence in the Mentor Role
“The habitual and judicious use of
communication, knowledge, technical
skills, clinical reasoning, emotions,
values, and reflection in daily practice
for the benefit of the individual and
the community served" (Epstein & Hundert,
2002, p. 226).

24. Competence in the Mentor Role
Presentation title
24

25. 3. Advocacy vs Evaluation
• Good mentorships become more mutual, reciprocal, relational, and intimate over time.
• Mentors feel compelled to offer more advocacy, protection, and collegial friendship
over time.
But….
• Mentors must sometimes provide high-stakes summative assessments of performance
(graduation, tenure, promotion) (APA, 2010)
• Some mentors must simultaneously screen trainees on behalf of a profession and the
public.

26. Letters of Recommendation?
⚫ Thin line between advocacy and
dishonesty
⚫ Many of us admit routinely inflating
letters (and omitting negatives) for well-
liked trainees [Tabachnick et al., 1991]
⚫ Internship & Residency supervisors
report little correlation between letters
and performance [Grote et al., 2001]

27. 4. Confidentiality? Privacy?
⚫ Confidentiality?
 Central to professionalism
 Linked to trust & respect
 An Ethical Standard
⚫ If mentorship is a Safe Space,
mentees share personal concerns.
⚫ Privacy: A commitment to protecting
mentee disclosures as a way of
promoting mentee best interests.

28. 5. Intimacy, Attraction, Sexual Feelings
⚫Relational Mentoring = increasing levels of
mutuality, intimacy, emotional depth.
⚫Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love:
Intimacy + Commitment = Companionate Love?
⚫93% of Male and 64% of Female Professors admit
sexual feelings re. students
 Tabachnick et al. (1991)

29. 6. To Disclose or Not to Disclose
⚫Bolsters role modeling, builds
confidence, alleviates anxiety,
provides poignant teaching,
strengthens mutuality,
communicates caring.
⚫Demands prudence,
judgement, and boundaries.
⚫In the hands of a seasoned and
judicious mentor = priceless

31. 7. Multiple Roles
• In general: Avoid MRs if they could
diminish your objectivity, or the
competent performance of your
job.
• In many mentorships, MRs are
ubiquitous!
• Teacher, research supervisor,
advisor, evaluator, friend.
• Is this a boundary violation?
(exploitation)

32. Trainees Prefer Mutuality/Collegiality
• Empirical evidence suggests
that students are most
satisfied with training
relationships characterized
by:
• Emotional support
• Mutuality
• Collegial friendship
• Some degree of
reciprocal disclosure

33. 8. Equal Access by Diverse Mentees
• Do all prospective mentees in your work context have equal access to you
as a mentor?
• Do your mentees all look the same? Why???
• How’s your cultural humility?

34. Cultural Considerations
• Do Cross-Race, Cross- Ethnicity, Cross-
Gender, Cross-Sexual Orientation
relationships work?
• Can majority trainers mentor minority-group
trainees?
• Discuss differences? (Thomas,
1993)
• Direct engagement?
• Denial and Suppression?

35. • Cultural Competence
⚫Focus on achieving
culture-specific attitudes,
knowledge, and skills
 Assumes competence is
achievable.
 Frames culture as
monolithic.
• Cultural Humility
⚫maintain an interpersonal
stance that is other-oriented;
sensitive to aspects of
cultural identity that are most
important to the [mentee]
 Emphasis on self-humility,
reflection, and learning
Cultural Humility

36. Should You Call Yourself a Mentor??
• Claiming mentor status with a mentee
from a non-dominant group may
invoke power, privilege, even
ownership
• Always let your trainee label the
relationship
• Brown & Ostrove (2013)
• Genuine allies are committed to (1)
expressing as little prejudice as
possible and (2) addressing social
inequality

37. 9. The Temptation to Clone

38. Code of Conduct
• Beneficence: Promote mentees’ best interests whenever possible.
• Nonmaleficence: Avoid harm to mentees (neglect, abandonment, exploitation, boundary
violations)
• Autonomy: Work to strengthen mentee independence and maturity.
• Fidelity: Keep promises and remain loyal to those you mentor.
• Justice: Ensure fair and equitable treatment of all mentees (regardless of cultural
differences)
• Transparency: Encourage transparency and open communication regarding expectations
• Boundaries: Avoid potentially harmful multiple roles with mentees and discuss overlapping
roles to minimize risk for exploitation or bad outcomes.
• Privacy: Protect information shared in confidence by a mentee. Discuss all exceptions to
Privacy.
• Competence: Establish and continue developing competence. 38

39. Mentorship process
Understanding
your role
Setting
expectations
Creating a
mentorship
plan
Building a
relationship
Reviewing
your
mentorship
39

40. Creating a Mentorship Plan
40

41. S.M.A.R.T. Goals should be
41

42. S.M.A.R.T. Goals should be
42

43. Providing Feedback
Giving and receiving feedback are important aspects of the mentorship experience. While you
will provide feedback during the mentorship, you may also want to encourage your mentee to
provide you with feedback at critical junctures in the mentorship so that you can have the
opportunity to learn and improve your mentorship skills as well. Below are some tips on
providing feedback throughout your mentorship, adapted from the Institute for Clinical
Research Education Mentoring Resources.
TYPES OF FEEDBACK
• Positive – One role of a mentor is to be a motivator. When your mentee accomplishes
something or improves one of their skills, you should congratulate them and give them
feedback on what they did well.
• Constructive – Feedback should never be “negative.” Rather, if you see room for
improvement in something your mentee is working on, you should give them feedback on
what they could do better—not on what they did wrong.
• It can also be helpful to give constructive feedback along with some positive feedback so
your mentee does not feel demoralized—but the positive feedback should not overshadow
the constructive so that the mentee ignores the advice. 43

44. Frequency of Feedback
• Feedback should happen consistently as your mentee will be working on developing their
skills and projects throughout the course of the mentorship. That does not mean that you
have to give them a grade at every meeting, but rather that you should integrate positive
and constructive feedback into your conversations and help them articulate their progress in
meaningful ways.
• In the mentorship Action Plan, you should designate specific meetings to have larger
discussions about your mutual progress so far and to reflect back on the mentorship. These
are also opportunities for the mentee to provide you with feedback so you can work on your
own skills as a mentor. Since the mentee may be reluctant to give you feedback outside of
an official, scheduled time, creating that space for them to do so is important. Note that
there may be cultural or gender-based norms around hierarchical relationships that make
this exercise difficult for one or both of you, but it is a leadership skill that improves with
practice. Embrace it!
44

45. 45
Tips for GIVING
Effective Feedback
• Trust
• Specificity
• Participation
• Goals
• Simplicity
• Listening
Tips for RECEIVING
Effective Feedback
• Listen quietly and try not to interrupt so the
mentee can finish their thought.
• Paraphrase back to the mentee what you
heard so you can be sure that you
understand.
• Ask questions if you need further
clarification.
• Thank your mentee for the feedback

46. Active Listening
• Even when not receiving feedback, active listening is important. By listening to your mentee
and showing that you are listening, you will gain your mentee’s trust, show that you respect
what your mentee has to say, and—most importantly—learn about your mentee and deepen
your relationship. Active listening, however, is more difficult than it sounds. Here are some
tips for improving active listening skills:
i. Face the speaker
ii. Look at the speaker
iii. Acknowledge what the mentee is saying by nodding, saying “yes,” and so on so the
mentee knows that you are engaged.
iv. Paraphrase what the mentee is saying
v. Ask questions about what the mentee is saying
vi. Summarize the conversation when it is over
46

47. Scheduling Meetings with your Mentee
• Working to schedule meetings, whether virtual or in person, between two busy individuals
can be challenging at times. During your initial meeting with your mentee, discuss the best
and most reliable ways for both of you to communicate with each other. Be sure to discuss
potential busy times over the course of the six-month mentorship as well as what days or
times are best for each of you. In some cases, it might be best to schedule all six meetings
up front, leaving room for flexibility should schedules change. As mentioned earlier in this
toolkit, both you and your mentee should try to provide 24 hours notice if you will need to
reschedule a meeting.
47

48. Sample Agenda
i. Updates on Action Items from Previous Meeting
a. Success stories related to completing action items
b. Challenges faced when completing action items
ii. Review Ongoing Efforts to Meet Mentorship Goals
a. Progress related to mentorship goals
b. Additional resources and skills needed to meet mentorship goals
iii. Mentee Questions
iv. Action Items for Next Meeting
48

49. Virtual Mentorships
• Virtual mentorships can take place via a variety of
media: email, phone calls, video conferences, Skype,
and texting apps like WhatsApp. Mentors working
virtually with their mentees will have to discuss
which media the mentee has available to them and
would work best for conducting their meetings. For
example, you may want to Skype once a month but
exchange emails once a week. A critical issue to
discuss as well is the reliability of the mentee’s
Internet and/or how often they are online. You may
also wish to establish a protocol for times when you
have set a meeting and one party’s Internet is not
working.
49

50. Mentoring scheme evaluation
To ensure the continued success of your scheme, it is important to evaluate its
effectiveness. The benefits of evaluation
• Careful evaluation will enable improvements that will benefit future mentees and mentors.
It can also provide evidence and testimonials which can be used to promote the scheme
and to secure ongoing institutional support.
• To get the most from scheme evaluation will need to consider:
• the effectiveness of the scheme for delivering stated objectives
• the benefits for mentors, mentees, the department and the wider organisation
• the effectiveness of the scheme’s coordination, promotion and management
During the evaluation it is important to ensure that outcomes can be reviewed
without breaching confidentiality.
50

51. Building evaluation into your scheme
Before you implement your mentoring scheme, you will need to ask the following questions
• what needs to be evaluated?
• what type of information you need and how you will collect it?
• what points in time you will evaluate?
51

52. What to evaluate
• The Kirkpatrick Model of evaluation can be a helpful tool in planning mentoring
evaluations. It sets out four levels of evaluation for mentoring:
• Level 1: Reaction – The degree to which participants find mentoring favourable,
engaging and relevant to their jobs
• Level 2: Learning – The degree to which participants acquire the intended knowledge,
skills, attitude, confidence and commitment based on their participation in mentoring
• Level 3: Behavior – The degree to which participants apply what they learn during
mentoring when they are back in their jobs
• Level 4: Results – The degree to which targeted outcomes occur as a result of
mentoring.
52

53. Mentorship Closure
It is appropriate and expected for most mentoring relationships to eventually end or need to
be redefined. Common reasons for closure or redefinition include accomplished intended
achievement (e.g., awarded grant, achieved promotion), lack of adequate progress toward
goals, mentor or mentee leaves the institution, or a shift in mentee's professional focus and
development.
At the point of closure, it can be valuable to both the mentor and mentee to evaluate the
working relationship:
• What was accomplished?
• What is yet to be done?
• What really worked?
• What was not successful?
53

54. Steps for Closure
To ensure meaningful closure, consider the following:
• Be proactive. Agree on how you will come to closure when you first negotiate your mentoring
partnership. Make one of the ground rules an agreement to end on good terms. Many mentoring
partners adopt the no-fault rule, meaning that there is no blaming if the partnership is not
working or one person is uncomfortable.
• Look for signals. Check out your perceptions and assumptions when the first indicators appear.
• Respect your partner. If he or she wants to end the relationship and you don't, you must honor
their wishes.
• Evaluate the relationship. Periodically, check out the health of the relationship. Make sure your
needs and those of your partner are both being met. Make ongoing evaluation a commitment.
54

55. Mentorship Closure
• Review your goals: Regularly review your goals and objectives with your mentoring partner.
Gauge where you and your partner are in the accomplishment of goals and objectives.
• Integrate: When it is time to come to closure, ask how you can use what you've learned.
Without closure, you lose the value-added dimension of integration. Good closure involves
taking what you've learned from the mentoring relationship and applying it. Focus on both
the process and the content of the learning in your discussion.
• Celebrate: Find meaningful ways to celebrate your accomplishments and be vocal in your
appreciation of each other.
• Move on: Once you have redefined your relationship, "let go" of the relationship as it was
and embrace it as it will be going forward.
55

56. Thank you
Muhamad SHABAREK
mshabarek@hotmail.com
www.linkedin.com/in/mshabarek