assertiveness-1804121821152223333333.pdf

1. Sudipta Paul

2. INTRODUCTION
According to Darley (2002) assertiveness comprises
respect for others, respect for yourself, self awareness,
and effective, clear and consistent communication
.Assertiveness allows you to express feelings and ideas
without judging others .Assertiveness is your ability to
act in harmony with your self-esteem without hurting
others. Assertiveness is about standing up for yourself,
but also respecting the opinions and needs of others.

3. ASSERTIVE STEPS

4. Meaning of assertiveness
Assertiveness means –
Confident and forceful behaviour.
Tendency toward self assertion.

5. DEFINITION
 Assertiveness is the ability to express one`s feelings
and assert one`s right while respecting the feelings
and rights of others.
 The concise Oxford Dictionary defines assertiveness as
:
“ Forthright positive, insistence on the recognition of
one`s rights “

6. In other words
 Assertiveness means standing up for your personal
rights ,expressing thoughts feelings and beliefs in
direct , honest and appropriate ways.
 Assertiveness is a tool for expressing ourselves
confidently and a way of saying yes or no in an
appropriate way.It is considered as healthy behaviour
for all people against personal powerlessness and
results in personal empowerment

7. ASSERTIVESS MODEL, A-S-E-R-T
MODEL
Ask for god`s help : Pray to god to guide you through
scripture and his spirit.
State the problem : Think over and state the facts of the
problem.
Express yourself : State your feeling . Do not judge.
Request change and feedback : Specify one behaviour
change.Then listen to other persons thoughts and
opinions.
Talk it out : Paraphrase their ideas. Discuss the
consequences, considerations and options.

8. Types of
ASSERTIVENESS

9. PASSIVE
Violates one`s own rights by failing to express honest feelings,
thought and beliefs and consequently permitting others to
violate oneself or the expressing of one`s own thoughts and
feelings in such an apologetic, meek manner that others can
easily disregard them.
 The basic message of a passive communicator : “My feelings don’t
matter –only yours do.My thoughts aren`t important – yours are
the only ones worth listening to. I am nothing – you are
superior”.
 The goal of passive communication is to appease others and to
avoid conflict at any cost.
 Body Language : No eye contact ,soft, whiny or muffled voice,
use of nervous or childish hestures.

10. AGGRESSIVE
Stands up for personal rights and expresses thoughts, feelings, and
beliefs in a way that is often dishonest, usually inappropriate, and
always violtes the rights of others.
 The basic message of an aggressive communicator : “This is what I
think – you are stupid for believing differently. This is what I want –
what you want is not important. This is what I feel – your feelings don`t
count“.
 The goal of aggressive communication is domination , and winning ,
forcing the other person to loose . winning is ensured by humiliating ,
degrading , or overpowering other people so that they become weaker
or less able to express and defend their needs and rights .
 Body language : invasive / angry staring – eye contact , loud voice ,
invasion of personal body space , use of aggressive gestures ( pointing
finger ) , stiff , posturing , towering cloths .

11. ASSERTIVE
Stands up for personal rights and expresses thoughts, feelings,
and beliefs in direct , hpnest and appropriate ways that do not
violate another person`s rights .
 The basic message of an assertive communicator : “This is what I
think . This is what I feel .This is how I see the situation“.
 The goal of assertive communication is to get and give respect ,
to ask for fair play , and to leave room for compromise when the
rights and needs of two people conflict .
 Body language : Direct but non threatening eye contact , calm
voice , respectful of personal body space , use of illustrative
gestures , and an erect , but relaxed posture

12. Transactional analysis

13. Examples
 Non assertive behaviour :
 I am not ok , you are ok
 Assertive behaviour :
 I am ok , you are ok
 Aggressive behaviour :
 I am ok , you are not ok
 Passive Aggressive behaviour:
 I am not ok , you are not ok

14. Comparison between types of
assertiveness

15. Purpose of assertiveness
 Aseertiveness can help you control stress and anger
and improve coping skills .
 It will recognise and learn assertive behaviour and
communication .
 It cam also help boost your self esteem and earn others
respect

16. Human assertive rights
 The right to have needs and desires .
 The right to have information .
 The right to have goods or services which have been paid .
 The right to be independent and to be left alone .
 The right to say no .
 The right to be treated with respesct .
 The right to be anything which does not violate the rights of others .
 The right to be assertive or non assertive .
 The right to make choices .
 The right to change .
 The right to control over body , time and possessions .
 The right to express opinions and beliefs .
 The right to think well of oneself .
 The right to make requests

17. Aim of Assertiveness
 The aim of assertiveness is to find the best possible
solution for all the people. It is about finding win-win
solutions .
 Assertiveness sees everyone as equal with equal rights
and responsibility.
 Assertiveness increases the chances of our needs being
met .
 Assertiveness allows us to remain in control

18. Need for Assertiveness
 ‘The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately
determines the quality of our lives’.
 ...........Anthony Robbins
 ‘Relationship slowly disintegrate , one faiked or missing conversation at a time’.
 ...............Susan Scott
 Lack of assertiveness leads to-
 Depression : f eeling helpless with no control over your life.
 Resentment : Anger at others for taking advantages of you .
 Frustation : Why did I let that happen .
 Temper : If you can`t express anger appropriately it can build up to temper
outbursts .
 Stress : Stress can have a negative impact on the body .
 Relationship : When individuals can`t tell each other what they want .
 Anxiety : you may avoid certain situations which make you feel uncomfortable

19. Techniques of Assertiveness

20. DESC

21. BROKEN RECORD

28. Benifits of Assertiveness
 Makes you feel better about yourself
 Minimizes any unpleasantness
 Helps have better relations with others
 Reduces stress
 Propels your carrer
 Vaults you in to leadership position
 Able to adapt to changing social and profrssional
environment .
 Freedom from guilt conscience as you know that you are
right

29. Importance of Assertiveness
Assertiveness
 Personal identity
 Wages or salary
 Satisfaction from exercising skills
 Satisfaction from helping people
 Social environment
 Need to dealing with
 Theirselves
 The manager to whome they report
 Their colleagues
 Their subordinates
 Clients or customers

30. Conclusion
 Assertiveness comprises respect for others, respect for
yourself, self awareness, and effective, clear and consistent
communication .Assertiveness allows you to express
feelings and ideas without judging others . Assertiveness is
a tool for expressing ourselves confidently and a way of
saying yes or no in an appropriate way.It is considered as
healthy behaviour for all people against personal
powerlessness and results in personal empowerment.
Assertiveness are 3 types passive ,aggressive ,assertive.
Assertive behaviours are maintaining self control ,behaving
as an equal to others ,being open in expressing wishes ,
thoughts ,and feelings and encouraging others to do
likewise.