The document discusses assertiveness and provides tips for behaving assertively. It defines assertiveness as expressing one's opinions, needs, and feelings without ignoring or hurting others. Assertiveness involves communicating wants clearly while respecting oneself and others. It allows one to stand up for their rights in a respectful manner without being aggressive. The document then provides examples of passive, aggressive, and assertive responses and techniques for behaving assertively such as using body language, the broken record technique, and I-statements.

2.  Do you have
trouble saying
"NO", even when
you really should?
 Do you feel people
take advantage of
you?
 Do you have
trouble controlling
your temper?

3.  It is expressing your opinions, needs and feelings
without ignoring or hurting the opinions, needs and
feelings of others.
 It also means communicating what you really want in
a clear fashion, respecting your own rights and
beliefs and the rights and beliefs of others.
 It is also about standing up for your rights to be
treated fairly but in a respectful and constructive way.
 It is not about being aggressive or always getting
your own way.
 Assertiveness is about being responsible for yourself
and making your life work for you, instead of being a
victim of circumstances.

4.  You can say 'Yes' when
you mean 'Yes' and
'No' when you mean
'No'.
 You can communicate
clearly to others what
you are feeling in a
calm way.
 You do not let fear of
conflict stop you from
speaking.
 You feel good about
yourself.

5.  If you assert yourself, you behave in a way that
demonstrates your confidence and this earns you respect
from others in return.
 Asserting yourself will stop others from cheating you and
you from cheating yourself out of what you deserve.
 It will help you view other people from a position of non-
judgment.
 Being assertive will help you maintain self-respect.
 It will enhance the likelihood of creating win/win
situations.
 It will increase the chances of having your needs
understood and met.
 When you assert yourself you will feel empowered
 You live with integrity and enjoy sound emotional health.

6.  Depression: a sense of feeling helpless with no control
over your life.
 Resentment: anger at others for taking advantage of you.
 Frustration: why did I let that happen?
 Temper: if you can't express anger appropriately it can
build up to temper outbursts.
 Anxiety: you may avoid certain situations which make you
feel uncomfortable and you may therefore miss out on
activities, job opportunities etc.
 Relationship difficulties: it can be difficult in relationships
when individuals can't tell each other what they want and
need or how the other person affects them.
 Stress-related problems: stress can have a negative impact
on the body and assertiveness can be a good way of
managing stress.

7.  Do you ask for help if you need it?
 Do you express anger and annoyance
appropriately?
 Do you ask questions when you are confused?
 Do you volunteer your opinions when you think
or feel differently from others?
 Do you speak up in class frequently?
 Are you able to say "no" when you don't want to
do something?
 Do you speak with a generally confident manner,
communicating caring and strength?
 Do you look at people when you are talking to
them?

8.  more confident, relaxed and happy
 more aware of who you are (including your
strengths and weaknesses).
 spend less time comparing yourself with others
and feeling "not good enough".
 make more realistic decisions and choices for
yourself.
 more successful relationships, by accepting that
not everyone in the world will or can be caring
towards you.
 can regain control in your life and live it to the
fullest.

9.  What causes people
to avoid being
assertive

10. indicate whether each of the three responses
given is aggressive, passive or assertive

11.  Technique 1: Assertive body language
◦ Face the other person, standing or sitting straight.
◦ Listen carefully to what they say.
◦ Have a pleasant facial expression.
◦ Keep your voice calm and pleasant.
◦ Make sure that your body language supports what
you are saying (e.g. do not make the mistake of
nodding your head when you are trying to say"No"!).

12.  This approach is particularly useful in:
• Situations where you feel your rights are being
ignored.
• Coping with clever, articulate people.
• Situations where you may lose self-confidence if
you give in.
 How to use the broken record technique:
◦ Work out beforehand what you want to say and rehearse it.
◦ Repeat your reply, using exactly the same words, over and
over again and stick to what you have decided.
◦ Keep repeating your point, using a calm and pleasant voice.
◦ Don't be put off by clever arguments or by what the other
person says.

13.  'I' statements help to keep the focus on the
problem, rather than accusing or blaming the
other person.
 They help to express ownership of your
thoughts and feelings, rather than attacking
the other person.
 Example:
◦ Say: 'I feel upset when you interrupt me because I
can't finish what I am saying.‘
◦ Instead of: 'You're always interrupting me!'

14.  Many people find saying "No" difficult.
 by avoiding saying "No" you can be drawn into
situations that you don't want to be in.
 You may not want to say "No" because you may
have fears about how other people may see or
react to you.
 You may feel scared that you will be seen as
mean or selfish, or that you may be rejected by
others.
 you are not responsible for the reactions of other
adults, but you can be responsible for your own
actions.

15.  One of the most common problems in
communication is caused by trying to read other
people's minds or expecting them to read yours. If
you want people to respond to your ideas and needs
you have to be able to say what you want clearly and
in a way that will make others want to respond.
 Example 1. Say: "Will you please . . . .?" Instead of
"Would you mind . . . . ?"
 Example 2. Say: "I won't be able to . . . ." instead of
'I'm not sure if I can . . . ."
 Example 3. Say: "I've decided not to . . ." instead of 'I
don't think I can . . . . "

16.  You lent money to your friend and they never
paid you back.
 Your friend smokes in the house and it bothers
you.
 A family member asks you for help but you have
previous engagments.
 You and your friend are discussing weight loss
and your friend says something with which you
strongly disagree.
 You and your friend are working on a school
project. She keeps telling you what to do and
doesn’t accept any of your ideas.

17.  I am honest and direct about my thoughts and feelings.
 I speak up and share my views if I disagree with others'
opinions.
 I am confident about my opinions and decisions.
 I am able to accept that someone else may have a better
idea or solution to a problem than I do.
 I can accept positive criticism and suggestions.
 I ask for help when I need it.
 I am able to turn down requests that seem unreasonable
or unfair.
 I directly address things that bother me.
 I speak confidently about things that matter a lot to me.
 I consider my needs as important as others’.