1. The document discusses issues around modern attitudes towards marriage among young men and women. It suggests that contemporary culture promotes individualism over community and compromise, making long-term relationships more difficult. 2. It analyzes data showing that while marriage is not a priority for many, dating remains popular, indicating confusion. It also notes that single life is satisfying but something is still missing for many. 3. The document proposes that marriages require evolution and upgrading to make the institution more appealing and suitable to modern lives. Both societal issues and outdated relationship models contribute to reluctance around marriage.

1. ADVOCACY OF MARRIAGE
With A Rider – Upgrade And Let The MATRIX Sink…!
Somehow, if it is probably not too judgmental to say, it may seem that personal
domains of people globally is the most confused and conflicted entity, more so likely
with young men and women. Why? Well, let us first dwell on the hypothesis…
As psychologists say, modern culture and milieus are predominantly liberal and
consumerist and this has built-up a rather aware and yet a very powerfully
Conscious Individual. This sense of ‘I Am and I Matter’ is so powerful and
pampered narrative in average people’s sub-consciousness as well as conscious
mind positioning that everything outside in society, politics, economy, technology,
psychology, sociology, religion, spiritualism, et al is taken from the perspective of
‘Individuality’, as against the collective archetypes as well as benchmarks.

2. It is only natural that when the domain of ‘I’, self or individual sense has become so
vast and complex and given that an individual has his or her own limitations of
cognitive excellence, confusions and conflicts galore and probably rule the
consciousness. If we temporarily accept this hypothesis for at least academic
purpose, we can proceed onto something, which we have at hand – Matrix Change
Of Marriage…
So, with your permission, we proceed to our stated topic…!
It seems and as we have enough social data from India, USA as well as from other
developed countries, many contemporary young men and women alike seem
borderline reluctant or at least procrastinated to marriage. If this seems a bit too
long drawn statement, we can euphemize it by saying – many young people,
irrespective of gender, do not have marriage in their mind. The global data says, this
is more likely for youth in their 20s. It also says, around half of people in USA in that
age bracket think so. In India too, there seems an empirical feel that majority of
young men, especially women do not have marriages in their mind. However, this is
not the piece of information we are interested in, even as it provides us the relevant
base stuff. The relevant points are listed below –
1. Even when marriages are not in mind, young men and women are pretty busy
in dating front. Study says, online dating sites are busier and dating scenario
keeps looking up. The question is – if marriage is not in mind, what they are
looking for in dating enterprise? This may seem to pertain in domain of
confusion and conflict! But we shall not accept it without a debate, which we
may do later…
2. Good numbers of young men and women are doing great as single and
leading a seemingly happy and fruitful life yet, when encountered, they admit
something is missing in their lives. They enjoy single life yet venture out and
seek people, group activities and collective engagements. This may seem to

3. pertain in domain of confusion and conflict! But we shall not accept it without
a debate, which we may do later…
3. Recent surveys show, many single men, especially women, in late twenties
and early 30s bracket are feeling the futility of dating, online dating, getting
out and mingling in non-committed environs. They rather prefer community
work, volunteering, etc. They seem to feel, just having people in life but no
‘connect’, probably is not working well for them. This may seem to pertain in
domain of confusion and conflict! But we shall not accept it without a debate,
which we may do later…
4. It is said that even when society and cultures are growingly more accepting
and liberal with singles and not married, yet majority of young people still
yearn for matrimony. This may seem to pertain in domain of confusion and
conflict! But we shall not accept it without a debate, which we may do later…
5. Interestingly, social data says, those men and women, who have had a
satisfied and meaningful single life tend to become stable and happy partners
in marriages. Can we say, being single and enjoying it is not a sign of being
antithetical to marriage rather synthetical! This may seem to pertain in
domain of confusion and conflict! But we shall not accept it without a debate,
which we may do later…
There are more points to it but for facilitating the furtherance of the idea at hand,
we revert to the original idea – Matrix Change Of Marriage…
There may look, from above points that in the entire scenario of social behavior of
young men and women, two major probabilities seem to be very strong and
impacting. They are –
1. Probably, the institution of marriage, its contemporary structures and
functions seem to be unsuitable or probably un-luring to young men and
women…

4. 2. Probably, the contemporary social, familial, cultural, economic or
psychological milieus are to be blamed for young men and women to feel
unsettled with the idea of marriage…
Well, social researches accept that both are true and have cyclic impact on each
other. In fact, if it is to be accepted with liberal mindset and open perspective, we
can clearly see, the trouble remains in the following three areas –
1. Attitudinal: Many young men and women have evolved such personal
attitudinal troubles or what we may call Thought-Traps, which make them
procrastinate marriages or push it out of their preferences…
2. Societal: The contemporary milieus, where there seems to be instability and
corrosion in family and relationships, marriages seem to be too big and
burdened commitment to make. The issue of general Trust-Deficit is huge
burden on minds…
3. Matrimonial: There certainly are troubles in the very idea and idealism of
marriage, which the young men and women probably see and accept. It
probably needs some evolution and upgrading…
We attempt to debate some key factors, which probably install the scary elements of
confusion and conflicts in the idea and idealism of marriage –
1. There is a strong perception among psychologists that in developed urban
and liberal milieus, average young men and women have never learned how
to compromise. This they say is something cardinal element for any healthy
relationship. The success of ‘Individual’ and unbridled desire for ‘Nothing But
Best’ is surely making it hard for young men and women to accept a probable
partner. Even when they do finally decide on a person, either of the two is
always likely to break free and move to another person, who might seem a
better choice. It happens as the primary mindset or psychology is to ‘have

5. better choice’, instead of settling, compromising and making efforts to
improve things in the current relationship.
2. Related is the aspect that as dating scenario is now very pink and rosy and
there always is easy or probable availability of choices, young men and
women are never settled for a person. It is probably why, many wise young
men and women have withdrawn from dating sites and dating routine as they
feel, it never allows them to zero down on a person and settle for him or her.
Psychologists have already exposed the fallacy of ‘soulmate’ concept and
idealism…
3. Researchers say, there are enough evidences and numerous studies have
found that marriages lead to increased health, longevity, quality of life, and
wealth. Those people who describe themselves as being in “good” marriages
are regularly found to be happier than the rest of the population. In the US,
married couples, as a group, still provide the most durable family structure
for children. Still, growingly, in the neighborhood, there are enough cases of
crumbling marriages and bitter after tales, which scare and deter young men
and women to commit for marriages. The bottomline seems like – ‘Okay,
marriage may be good for me but how can I be sure the same can turn out for
me as it depends at least half on the other person who shall come in my life…’.
This very idea that marriages can go wrong and as and when they go wrong, it
is complete disaster for rest of the life, scares man. So, the joy of marriage is
being overtaken by the scare of marriage…
4. As is the case with all information, the stories about marriages in all societies
are dominated by bad and wrong. There are enough good and success stories
of marriages but the stories and rumors are dominated by bad and failed
marriages. There is a tendency among people to believe more the bad and
negative things and happily ignore the good news. There are such stupid
stereotypes among men and women about gender. The contemporary social

6. milieu is overburdened by distrust and disbelief about each other. For
example, most young men and women believe ‘extra-marital’ affair/sex is
very common in India. This is against the data evidences of any genuine type
but still the belief remains strong. The fact remains that it is primarily a
metro-centric realism and that too somewhere between 10-12 percent of
total Indian population. Trouble is, perceptions are always taken and
accepted as reality and reality is never accepted…
The talk about how and why marriages are becoming complex, confused and
conflicted is endless as the society and cultures have made lives complex, confused
and conflicted. The more fruitful talk is about how to look positively at marriage and
how to bring about a change of matrix for marriages so that here could be happy
tales and positives about marital bliss. Let us look into that…
Primarily, before the question of marriages or blissful marriage pops up, the more
important and basic questions at hand for all of us is, what we can list below –
*#* What We Can Accept As Happiness/Bliss/Satisfaction?
*#* What Definitive Ways Are Available To Attain Them?
… let me tell you with humility and honesty, there ain’t any singular answer the
these questions. Why? Because, ACCEPTANCE is always a very subjective entity and
what stands as real and true is what you accept…
This happens because, though we all look almost the same in our body features,
science says, no two persons have similar brains. Science also says, men and women
come in seven shades of consciousnesses and as consciousnesses vary, the cognitive
realism (what one takes and accepts) also varies. Therefore, what and how a person
assigns value/utility/worth to anything is very subjective and also suitability varies.
Therefore, what is joy, right and good for you is what only you can decide and
judge…

7. But then, there always are certain broad and basic objective and logical benchmarks
of goodness, righteousness and appropriateness. This we all can adhere to, even
when subjectively deciding our choices and priorities, not only for marriage but for
any issue in our lives. We may humbly list these objective benchmarks as –
1. Be aware and have leisure time to have a meaningful and logical dialogue
with ‘self’ about what you wish out of your life. Self-dialogue, self-assessment
is a very powerful tool for wellness, if we begin with the hypothesis that we
can always be wrong as to be human is to err…
2. Always consider relativity – means, your views can be true to you but may not
be true for others. This very acceptance of relativity seeds compassion, which
is key element for wider and deeper acceptances…
3. Joys, goodness, righteousness are not external elements; they all exist and
breathe only within you. As you have always felt, nothing outside you and
your consciousness has any meaning, utility and worth. Therefore, primarily,
you have to be great friends with yourself. You have to learn and excel in
loving yourself first. This only can save you from possible hypocrisies, when
you decide to love others…
4. Not all things come and are served to you as readymade. Your own
personality has evolved in years, which has grown after much of learning as
well as ‘unlearning’. Relationships, love, intimacy also evolve and grow in
time and space. You have to evolve as a person and also evolve your mutuality
emotions to stand as a compatible and sincere partner in love and marriages.
Do kindly accept your own personal responsibility and enterprise in allowing
enough time and space to a relationship. Marriages are not made in heaven or
outside. They are seeded, grown and matured inside our mind and
consciousness…
5. Most importantly, do kindly accept that there is no alternative and option to
true and right knowledge. Do kindly accept that good and bad, right and

8. wrong always stands relative to individuals and therefore, this world you see
and move in and out is neither good nor bad. It is always as you take and
accept it. Therefore, never ever fall in trap of ‘perceptions’, rumors, heresy,
pop realities and media managed info. In contemporary world of fake and
fudged information and realism, you stand a chance of sanity and appropriate
behavior only when you align yourself with knowledge and true reality. That
is why, always be knowledgeable about facts and realities in the social,
political, economic, cultural, familial milieus. All your life-living choices and
action/behavior must be very informed and knowledgeable choices…
6. Last but not the least, always see utility and worth in totality and holism.
Everything is important in life and needs to stand in balance, symmetry and
synchrony. Career is important but health is also equally important. Single
individuality is important but marital mutuality is equally important.
Marriage is not for individual’s extension of his or her own personal gains and
happiness. Marriage is a large platform for number of attainments – many in
individual domain but also in mutual domains. Acceptance of marriage has to
be installed in a new and more informed matrix. Marriage is not just your
next step in attaining more individual utilities and worth. It is much much
more than what we usually think. Marriage must be accepted in new
millennium matrix of larger and deeper wellness and excellence. Once we
accept that, many doors of wellness shall open up…
… let us say, what better it could be for all of us but to say – “They entered the gate
of BLISS, hand in hand and remained EVOLVING hereafter, for mutuality to grow
like an Oak tree, branching out in sky infinitely… say amen to that…!!”