This paper was written for my issues of interpersonal communications class at WWU. The research provides insight on areas of satisfaction in a marriage.

1. Discussions on Marital Happiness
Benjamin Huge
Communication 427: Issues of Interpersonal Communication
Professor Jianglong Wang
Communication Studies Dept. at Western Washington University
Submission Date: October 27th
, 2015

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In marriage, there is a consistent need for relational maintenance and growth. According
to Kirchler, “marriage is the greatest source of social support, it has immense benefits for
physical and mental health as well as for general well-being and life satisfaction” (Kichler, 1989,
p. 312). Relationships that are at the point of marriage harbor a level of intimacy, commitment,
and satisfaction that is consistently growing. Marriage works to transform spouses. It allows
them to enjoy each other. Intimacy enhances the marital bond between each spouse. This
intensifies their willingness to resolve conflict and difficulties in the relationships (Robinson &
Blanton, 1993, p. 43). The study of relational maintenance in marriage is always being expanded
upon in the field of interpersonal communication. Additionally, marriage is an investment and
the amount of resources that spouses invest in it will help promote commitment to that
relationship (Leone, Hawkins, 2006, p.765). Marriage can also lead to divorce. This means that
there is a separation between spouses in a marriage. Statistics have shown that divorce is
common in the United States. Ming and Fincham (2010) state from their study that “parental
divorce was related to a less positive attitude toward marriage, and the negative attitude toward
marriage was related to a weaker commitment to their current romantic relationship (p. 340). A
society that bases its relational values solely on happiness creates a lack of commitment and will
in turn transform the ideals of marriage in the upcoming generation.
To begin with, marriage is not exclusively based on happiness. In Western cultures,
“people choose marriage partners and friends for what they do for us –make us happy, excite us
sexually, provide a sense of fun and connection” (Stewart, 2012, p. 410). However, this nature of
excitement and fun doesn’t always create commitment. In any relationship there is going to be
conflict. It will in turn affect the level of happiness between each partner. Marriage involves
communication, understanding, intimacy, shared reasonability, personal identity, persistence,

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hopefulness, and congruence (Robinson & Blanton, 1993, p. 38). The lack of these marriage
characteristics can produce unhealthy relationships. Spouses will face unhappy situations and for
them to succeed they have to find resolution. There are going to be times where relational
maintenance means working through the problems. Kirchler (1989) states that “most people
consider a harmonious relationship the most important value of their lives but as divorce rates
show, rather few are indeed fulfilled with their partnership” (p. 312). The issue is that unhappy
couples aren’t willing to seek a solution. They are eager to go through the process of divorce
instead. This means peace and harmony is not found between each partner and happiness is
absent in the relationship.
As stated before, marital conflict may lead to divorce and it has an impact on this
upcoming generation of youth. Social learning theory implies that “behavior can be learned
through observing the actions of others” (Ming & Fincham, 2010, p.332). When a marriage is in
struggle and the couple has children, the actions of the parents can have a major impact on the
child. Social learning theory suggests that the child will observe the conflict and the resolution of
the divorce. The result is that when these children become young adults they “hold a pessimistic
attitude about marriage and believe divorce is an easier alternative than working on the
marriage” (Ming & Fincham, 2010, p. 333). Divorce is going to increase in the coming
generation because it is being learned. As well as, the purpose and perspective on marriage is
now being transformed. There can be several factors why marriages fail, yet, the issue at hand is
commitment. Commitment is the “ability to renegotiate the relationship as change occurs, similar
to the concept of adaptability” (Robinson & Blanton, 1993, p.43). For a young adult who
experienced the results of divorces as a child, he or she has a higher risk of not being able to
adapt to the relationship. Their perception is focused on finding the easiest solution and divorce

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is a high possibility. This means more young adults affected by divorce will encounter
challenges in intimacy because they will not be able to commit to that relationship.
As stated before, marriage is not about the production of happiness. It is about the
harmony of a couple that seeks to grow intimately through commitment, communication, and
intimacy. There are going to be challenges in any relationship. Research has shown that the
spouse is the greatest source of conflict but egalitarian families will have more marital
satisfaction (Kirchler, 1989, p. 312). When there is a balance of power in a marriage, it will bring
happiness and fulfillment. Struggles in marriages can be counteracted and resolved. Spouses
enjoy each other when they work together in their marriage (Robinson and Blanton, 1993, p. 43).
As well as, commitment is now in question by the young adults impacted from parental divorce.
This process of separation does have an influence on the youth of this present day. In conclusion,
marriage is a pledge of two parties. Each spouse understands that there is going to be conflict and
resolution. Couples will thrive in their marriage when they learn to work through the issues. This
has a positive effect on their children because they are being taught, by social learning theory,
how to be in a healthy relationship. Happiness is just one small piece but not the answer to
marriage.

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References
Kirchler, E. (1989). Everyday life experiences at home: an interaction diary approach to assess
marital relationships. Journal Of Family Psychology, 2(3), 311-336.
doi:10.1037/h0080501
Leone, C., & Hawkins, L. B. (2006). Self-Monitoring and close relationships. Journal Of
Personality, 74(3), 739-778. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6494.2006.00391.x
Robinson, L & Blanton, P. (1993). Marital strengths in enduring marriages. Family Relations,
42(1), 38-45. doi:10.2307/584919
Ming, C., & Finchham, F. D. (2010). The differential effects of parental divorce and marital
conflict on young adult romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 17(3), 331-343.
doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01279.x
Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges Not Walls: A Book About Interpersonal Communication. New York,
NY: The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.