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WEDDINGS
SWAYED BY THE SELL

Does today’s media effect a woman’s decision to say “I Do”?
INTRODUCTION
WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
WHY HAVE A CEREMONY?


                             A wedding ceremony is a celebration…

              It‟s the ultimate declaration of the ultimate unification of two people.
                   It‟s the event that allows loved ones to witness that unification.
    And it could even be argued that having a wedding ceremony makes it seem more official.
Weddings are as old as time. They have always had their traditions. The white dress, the ring that
  bound the woman to the man, the cake, the gifts… but throughout history symbols may have
  held the same meaning but seem to have changed in appearance, and arguably… expectation.
    What once was considered a valuable gesture was a simple band of gold. A metal that was
durable, precious, yet modest. Now what seems to lay on the finger of most American women is
                                       a lavish display of sparkle.
    Wearing a hand-me-down dress of the color of purity was considered extravagant enough
   decades ago, and now we have women who seem to be unsatisfied until they have found the
                                  “perfect” dress for their personality.
      One cannot deny the high standard our society has seemed to put on the traditions of
matrimony. A wedding ceremony is a fundamental statement when marrying the partner of your
 life. But they have become so extravagant and indulgent, that it seems to taken focus over the
                                          actual marriage itself.
MEDIA
An analysis of our society’s bridal advertising and entertainment
ADVERTISEMENTS
Final Project
ENTERTAINMENT
Final Project
PERSPECTIVE
PERSPECTIVE




Does one prove more love than the other?
PERSONAL ACCOUNTS

             Question One: What made you decide to get married?

Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman’s decision to marry?
JILLIAN




           22 years old
              Single
          Never Married
Question One: What made you decide to get married?

“Are you kidding?? I‟m terrified of marriage! The idea of being with one
person for the rest of my life…? I just want to focus on myself.”

Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman‟s decision to marry?

“Maybe?? Me personally, I LOVE wedding shows, and I admit to having
bought [Bridal] magazines… I love the hair and make-up, and the
dresses… but it doesn‟t make me want to get married. I‟ve got my
priorities straight! Although… if I could have the wedding without the
marriage that‟d be awesome!”
MELISSA




            20 Years Old
              Engaged
          Dated Six Months
Question One: What made you decide to get married?

“I knew I was going to marry him right away. He has all the qualities I look for
in a husband… I‟m myself around him… and I just can‟t wait to start my life
with him.”

Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman‟s decision to marry?

“No, not really… I mean, maybe for some people. But I just like to watch
wedding shows and stuff because it‟s entertaining. Plus they give some really
great ideas, haha!”
AMANDA




         25 Years Old
           Married
          Newlywed
Question One: What made you decide to get married?

“We met in high school… none of my friends liked him… my
parents definitely didn‟t like him… but I don‟t know, we just had
such a great connection right off the bat. It was just so natural with
him. I wasn‟t worried about the future, I just wanted to be with him.”

Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman‟s decision to marry?

“Um… I‟ve never thought of that before… but since you‟re bringing
it up I would say yeah, I think the media does influence women‟s
decision to marry. I wanted to have a nice dress and a nice ring but at
the end of the day I just wanted to make us permanent. So I guess it
depends on the woman and how she ultimately views marriage.”
EMILY




           30 Years Old
        Married Seven Years
            New Mom
Question One: What made you decide to get married?

“Well, he was the first man I had ever loved… the best friend I had ever
had… plus I didn‟t have a very good living situation at home, and he was a
way out I guess? We lived together for awhile which I think lead to the ease
of making the decision to marry „cause it was no big deal and I already
knew he was the one I was going to be with.”


Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman‟s decision to marry?

“Not really… I mean maybe it sets higher expectations…? But I think
women marry because they want to get married, and putting together a
beautiful ceremony is a plus.”
THERESA




                32 Years Old
                  Divorced
          Married for Twelve Years
Question One: What made you decide to get married?

“My religion had a major influence on my decision to marry. We were
encouraged to marry young. I was in love with him and that was enough
for me but in retrospect we should have waited.”


Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman‟s decision to marry?

“Yes, but not all women. I think it depends on their personality, and their
self-esteem. Like, if a Bridal Magazine at the checkout makes you want to
have a husband then maybe it‟s time to search within yourself a little bit.”
ANGELA




                46 Years Old
         Married Twenty-Nine Years
                Still in Love
Question One: What made you decide to get married?

“He said, „I want to take care of you.‟ I had never had anyone say anything
like that to me before… and the combination of our deep friendship, plus
that phrase, to me, was what made me say „yes‟… in that moment
everything stood still... I thought, This is gonna be fun…!”


Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman‟s decision to marry?

“I do, I think it influences women both ways though… obviously the media
is very influential and I think that for young women, especially looking for
independence… getting married is that next grown up step.”
PERSPECTIVE
UNINTENDED
CONSEQUENCES
 Possible influences the media has caused
SOCIAL CHANGE


                  Changed perceptions
              Delayed or avoided marriages
                     Negative stigma
                      Fear of failure
          Divorce Rates are at an all time high
Women today are delaying if not avoiding marriage altogether.
STATISTICS



                          D i vo r c e
“The divorce rate in America for first
mar riage, versus second or third
marriage is 50% percent of first
mar r i ag es, 6 7 % of s econd and 7 4 % of
third mar riages end in divorce,
accor d ing to Jenni fer Baker of
t h e Fo r e s t I n s t i t u t e o f P r o f e s s i o n a l
P s y c h o l o g y i n S p r i n g f i e l d , M i s s o u r i .”


              Delayed Mar ria ge
A c c o r d i n g t o t h e U. S. C e n s u s
Bureau, fifty years ag o in 1961 the
a v e r a g e a g e f o r m e n a n d wo m e n t o
mar r y was 22 and 20. In 2011, it
was 28 and 26.
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS


Getting married too soon or too young and as a result failing in the marriage.
                         Inflated hopes and ideals
                       Resulting in disappointment
SOLUTIONS
Ways our society can prevent weddings being swayed by the sell
EDUCATE



We can’t change the media, but we can change how we inform.

       Our academics go beyond the teachings of math and science…

                     Is it not also to prepare our children,
                                our future society,
                             for the realities of life?

 Creating courses in our high schools that educate our young students of life
  how to manage relationships and social interaction will better equip them
 when they have matured into the adult world. Courses that which inform an
 adolescent healthy ways to cope with relationship conflict, to utilize certain
   mental tools when interacting with others, and to understand the many
  differences of members of the opposite sex. Practicing this may not only
     create healthier relationships in the future, but also mold a more an
         individual into a more well-rounded contributor of society.
COUNSEL


We can’t change the media, but we can change how we help.

   The causes for divorce are perpetually dissected and analyzed…

                      How might it be prevented?
                        Can it be prevented?

This is uncertain, though scholars seem to be hard at work with finding
   the answers. Perhaps, what is certain, is that we can at least try to
counteract the failure of marriages in our country. And it could be with
                    something as simple as guidance.
     Creating a health system where free, frequent, and encouraged
 counseling to married couples, as well as prospective ones, is provided
 has the potential to not only revocate the dissolving of marriages, but
      the changed perceptions of marriage counseling in general.
RESEARCH
Bibliography and Work-Cited
BIBLIOGRAPHY


Clark, Jerusha. When I Get Married--: Surrendering the Fantasy, Embracing the Reality. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2009. Print.
Davis, Lisa Selin. "All but the Ring: Why Some Couples Don't Wed." Time. Time, 25 May 2009. Web. 21 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1898346,00.html>.
Flanagan Ph. D., Kelly. "Marriage Is for Losers." UnTangled. 2 Mar. 2012. Web. 21 Mar. 2012.
<http://drkellyflanagan.com/2012/03/02/marriage-is-for-losers/>.
Goudreau, Jenna. "Why Men and Women Get Married." Forbes. Forbes Magazine, 27 May 2010. Web. 21 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.forbes.com/2010/05/26/why-do-men-women-get-married-forbes-woman-well-being-love-money.html>.
I, A. N. "Relationships." Why Women in Their 20s Rush into Marriage. Hindustan Times, 11 Sept. 2011. Web. 21 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.hindustantimes.com/Lifestyle/Relationships/Why-women-in-their-20s-rush-into-marriage/Article1-766849.aspx>.
Moss, Aron. "Why Get Married?" - Readings. ChaBad.org Lifecycle Events, 27 Feb. 2006. Web. 21 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/361650/jewish/Why-Get-Married.htm>.
Rodolfo, Mendoza-Denton. "The Fantasy of Perfect Love." Perfect for Me. Psychology Today, 14 Mar. 2012. Web. 21 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201203/the-fantasy-perfect-love/perfect-me>.
Simon Ph.D., Caroline J. "The Fantasy of Perfect Love." Illusive Lovers' Dreams. Psychology Today, 14 Mar. 2012. Web. 21 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201203/the-fantasy-perfect-love/illusive-lovers-dreams>.
Stosny, Steven. "The Fantasy of Perfect Love." Love Big, Think Small. Psychology Today, 2 Mar. 2009. Web. 21 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201203/the-fantasy-perfect-love/love-big-think-small>.
White Ph. D., Mark D. "Maybe It's Just Me, But..." Why Get Married? The Value of Commitment. Psychology Today, 3 Aug. 2010. Web. 21
Mar. 2012. <http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201008/why-get-married-the-value-commitment>.
Wright, H. Norman, and Wes Roberts. Before You Say "I Do": A Marriage Preparation Manual For Couples. Eugene: Harvest House, 1997.
Print.
"The English Bride: Why Marry? The Purposes of Marriage." University of Michigan. Web. 21 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.umich.edu/~ece/student_projects/wedding_bride/purposes.html>.
WORK-CITED
Final Project

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Final Project

  • 1. WEDDINGS SWAYED BY THE SELL Does today’s media effect a woman’s decision to say “I Do”?
  • 4. WHY HAVE A CEREMONY? A wedding ceremony is a celebration… It‟s the ultimate declaration of the ultimate unification of two people. It‟s the event that allows loved ones to witness that unification. And it could even be argued that having a wedding ceremony makes it seem more official. Weddings are as old as time. They have always had their traditions. The white dress, the ring that bound the woman to the man, the cake, the gifts… but throughout history symbols may have held the same meaning but seem to have changed in appearance, and arguably… expectation. What once was considered a valuable gesture was a simple band of gold. A metal that was durable, precious, yet modest. Now what seems to lay on the finger of most American women is a lavish display of sparkle. Wearing a hand-me-down dress of the color of purity was considered extravagant enough decades ago, and now we have women who seem to be unsatisfied until they have found the “perfect” dress for their personality. One cannot deny the high standard our society has seemed to put on the traditions of matrimony. A wedding ceremony is a fundamental statement when marrying the partner of your life. But they have become so extravagant and indulgent, that it seems to taken focus over the actual marriage itself.
  • 5. MEDIA An analysis of our society’s bridal advertising and entertainment
  • 11. PERSPECTIVE Does one prove more love than the other?
  • 12. PERSONAL ACCOUNTS Question One: What made you decide to get married? Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman’s decision to marry?
  • 13. JILLIAN 22 years old Single Never Married
  • 14. Question One: What made you decide to get married? “Are you kidding?? I‟m terrified of marriage! The idea of being with one person for the rest of my life…? I just want to focus on myself.” Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman‟s decision to marry? “Maybe?? Me personally, I LOVE wedding shows, and I admit to having bought [Bridal] magazines… I love the hair and make-up, and the dresses… but it doesn‟t make me want to get married. I‟ve got my priorities straight! Although… if I could have the wedding without the marriage that‟d be awesome!”
  • 15. MELISSA 20 Years Old Engaged Dated Six Months
  • 16. Question One: What made you decide to get married? “I knew I was going to marry him right away. He has all the qualities I look for in a husband… I‟m myself around him… and I just can‟t wait to start my life with him.” Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman‟s decision to marry? “No, not really… I mean, maybe for some people. But I just like to watch wedding shows and stuff because it‟s entertaining. Plus they give some really great ideas, haha!”
  • 17. AMANDA 25 Years Old Married Newlywed
  • 18. Question One: What made you decide to get married? “We met in high school… none of my friends liked him… my parents definitely didn‟t like him… but I don‟t know, we just had such a great connection right off the bat. It was just so natural with him. I wasn‟t worried about the future, I just wanted to be with him.” Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman‟s decision to marry? “Um… I‟ve never thought of that before… but since you‟re bringing it up I would say yeah, I think the media does influence women‟s decision to marry. I wanted to have a nice dress and a nice ring but at the end of the day I just wanted to make us permanent. So I guess it depends on the woman and how she ultimately views marriage.”
  • 19. EMILY 30 Years Old Married Seven Years New Mom
  • 20. Question One: What made you decide to get married? “Well, he was the first man I had ever loved… the best friend I had ever had… plus I didn‟t have a very good living situation at home, and he was a way out I guess? We lived together for awhile which I think lead to the ease of making the decision to marry „cause it was no big deal and I already knew he was the one I was going to be with.” Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman‟s decision to marry? “Not really… I mean maybe it sets higher expectations…? But I think women marry because they want to get married, and putting together a beautiful ceremony is a plus.”
  • 21. THERESA 32 Years Old Divorced Married for Twelve Years
  • 22. Question One: What made you decide to get married? “My religion had a major influence on my decision to marry. We were encouraged to marry young. I was in love with him and that was enough for me but in retrospect we should have waited.” Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman‟s decision to marry? “Yes, but not all women. I think it depends on their personality, and their self-esteem. Like, if a Bridal Magazine at the checkout makes you want to have a husband then maybe it‟s time to search within yourself a little bit.”
  • 23. ANGELA 46 Years Old Married Twenty-Nine Years Still in Love
  • 24. Question One: What made you decide to get married? “He said, „I want to take care of you.‟ I had never had anyone say anything like that to me before… and the combination of our deep friendship, plus that phrase, to me, was what made me say „yes‟… in that moment everything stood still... I thought, This is gonna be fun…!” Question Two: Do you think the media may influence a woman‟s decision to marry? “I do, I think it influences women both ways though… obviously the media is very influential and I think that for young women, especially looking for independence… getting married is that next grown up step.”
  • 27. SOCIAL CHANGE Changed perceptions Delayed or avoided marriages Negative stigma Fear of failure Divorce Rates are at an all time high Women today are delaying if not avoiding marriage altogether.
  • 28. STATISTICS D i vo r c e “The divorce rate in America for first mar riage, versus second or third marriage is 50% percent of first mar r i ag es, 6 7 % of s econd and 7 4 % of third mar riages end in divorce, accor d ing to Jenni fer Baker of t h e Fo r e s t I n s t i t u t e o f P r o f e s s i o n a l P s y c h o l o g y i n S p r i n g f i e l d , M i s s o u r i .” Delayed Mar ria ge A c c o r d i n g t o t h e U. S. C e n s u s Bureau, fifty years ag o in 1961 the a v e r a g e a g e f o r m e n a n d wo m e n t o mar r y was 22 and 20. In 2011, it was 28 and 26.
  • 29. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS Getting married too soon or too young and as a result failing in the marriage. Inflated hopes and ideals Resulting in disappointment
  • 30. SOLUTIONS Ways our society can prevent weddings being swayed by the sell
  • 31. EDUCATE We can’t change the media, but we can change how we inform. Our academics go beyond the teachings of math and science… Is it not also to prepare our children, our future society, for the realities of life? Creating courses in our high schools that educate our young students of life how to manage relationships and social interaction will better equip them when they have matured into the adult world. Courses that which inform an adolescent healthy ways to cope with relationship conflict, to utilize certain mental tools when interacting with others, and to understand the many differences of members of the opposite sex. Practicing this may not only create healthier relationships in the future, but also mold a more an individual into a more well-rounded contributor of society.
  • 32. COUNSEL We can’t change the media, but we can change how we help. The causes for divorce are perpetually dissected and analyzed… How might it be prevented? Can it be prevented? This is uncertain, though scholars seem to be hard at work with finding the answers. Perhaps, what is certain, is that we can at least try to counteract the failure of marriages in our country. And it could be with something as simple as guidance. Creating a health system where free, frequent, and encouraged counseling to married couples, as well as prospective ones, is provided has the potential to not only revocate the dissolving of marriages, but the changed perceptions of marriage counseling in general.
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