In transformative listening, we allow potentially big shifts in your view of a person, situation, or condition. The listener consciously chooses to fully allow the speaker to say whatsoever they want to, without judgment or subconscious blocking

1. Yeshaswi Bhav Training & Management Solutions
Transformative Listening

2. Consider the following. A father takes his three-year old son to a
playground. His son is interested in a shovel that a little girl is playing
with. His son goes over to the little girl, grabs the shovel and starts to
walk away with it, leaving the little girl distraught and crying. What do
you think father will do ?

3.  Does Nothing, and ignore your son’s aggressive behavior.
 To yell at his son and make him return the shovel.
His son will return the shovel, become sullen and learn nothing.
Any other option ???

4.  First, his son returns the shovel (and hopefully apologizes to the
little girl).
 Now he asks his son why he thinks the little girl is crying.
 The son might just shrug his shoulders or look down. But he
persists.
 The father asks again and may get a vague: “I don’t know,” or “I
guess she wanted the shovel.”
 So he persists again. But WHY do you think she’s crying? son
repeats: “I don’t know.”

5.  Father respond: “Yes, I think you do know. Think about it and tell me
why she’s crying.”
 After some more probing your son elevates his thinking to an
understanding not just of why what he did was wrong but how the
little girl is feeling.
 Once more the father gets: “I don’t know. “ And once again he
responds with “Yes, I believe you do.
 Think about it some more.” Ultimately son talks about waiting his
turn or asking the little girl if she would share the shovel.

6.  The first learning belongs to son and it’s called empathy.
 Empathy is the ability to truly understand how another person feels
and is one of the most significant tools of emotional intelligence and
the greatest predictor of life success.
 The second learning is for the father and it’s called transformative
listening.
 Taking out the time and effort to stop, paying full attention to his
son, sharing his belief that his son does know the answer to the
question, maintaining interest, and giving his son the space and
time to raise his own level of thinking about the situation.

7. We have all experienced transformative listening at various times.
Those who practice it regularly develop relationships and teams that
perform at truly a higher level.

8.  When you take the time and effort to stop
 Pay full attention to the other person
 Share your belief that the other person knows the answer to the
question,
 Maintain your interest
 Give him the space and time to raise his own level of thinking about
the situation.
 It is the quality of your listening that elevated thinking. That is what
makes a potentially transformative experience.

9.  You have an idea – it’s innovative and different but hasn’t yet been
proven. However, you’re excited about it and want to share it with
your boss.
 You go to your boss and find him busy, frazzled and in the middle
of some problem. He looks up at you with an annoyed expression
and says: “What is it? I’m really busy.”
 How do you feel at this moment? What will be the quality of your
thinking based on his reaction to you?

10.  Now imagine that you go to your boss who looks up and gives you a
big smile. He says: “I’m really glad to see you. You always have a
refreshing perspective on whatever you’re doing. What’s on your
mind?”
 Now how do you feel? Will the quality of your own thinking actually
be enhanced because of the belief, interest and space your boss is
giving you?

11. Do you think the quality of thinking affected by the reaction to you?
Research has proven that the answer is YES.
The quality of thinking is measurably enhanced when the listener
demonstrates their belief in the speaker’s ability to think at a higher
level, shows interest, and gives the speaker the time to fully share
their thoughts and ideas.
It raises the level of thinking of both parties.

12. Dr. Elliot Rosenbaum has developed a five level listening model.
 Interrupting
 Waiting
 Rephrasing
 Sensing
 Transformative Listening

13.  This level is practiced by all of us.
 We are listen but we already know what the other person is going to
say. So we don’t even let them finish.
 We interrupt and start to speak – agreeing, disagreeing, modifying,
adding our own comments.
 The other person never gets to finish their thought.
 The evening news demonstrates Level One listening raised to an art
form.

14.  May not be listening to anything the other person has to say
 But, we wait for them finish speaking before we respond.
 This is far better than level one, although it still leaves much room
for improvement.

15.  The level at which most listening training is conducted.
 The listener pays full attention until the other person has finished.
 He then re-phrases what was said, in his own words.
 The speaker acknowledges that the re-phrase is accurate.
 This is an improvement from level two in that it ensures that the
content has been received – but not necessarily truly heard.
 The technical skill of training your mind to function as a playback
recorder.

16.  This is truly a high level of listening.
 It incorporates level three listening but adds the emotional content
that comes through
◦ sensing body language, non-verbal clues, the hesitations, the frown, the twinkle in
the eye and other subtle ways in which we communicate emotions.
 This listening incorporates multiple senses and captures both
content and emotion.

17.  Level five listening incorporates levels three and four and adds the
factors that make listening truly transformative for both the speaker
and the listener.
 Practicing level five includes the genuine belief that the other person
really has great thoughts, demonstrates true interest in what the
speaker is saying and gives the speaker the time to fully express
himself.
 It generates new thoughts and raises the thinking level of both
parties.