Ollie long unit 30 lo5

2. Feedback of Pitch
This is my witness statement, highlighted in green is the elements I did well, and in yellow is
what I need to improve, there is also a list of what I did well and, what I need to do to improve
it, this gives me exact steps on what I need to do in order to improve my work. The positives
were that my magazine was created to a professional level, I communicated expected areas in
some detail and all my pre-production materials were fit for purpose, as well as many aspects
being creative. The things I needed to improve was minor issues with the front cover and DPS,
also I need to add more detail to my production plan

3. Feedback of pitch – Survey Monkey
• Survey monkey is a website which you can sign up to for free. It
allows you to create surveys filled with different questions, such as
multiple choice or with boxes allowing the person to write anything
they want.
• I used survey monkey to collect results about my magazines and pitch
presentation.

4. Survey Monkey Results
• My first question was “what do you think I can do to improve my pitch?”
the majority of respondents said that I needed to learn my script off by
heart, I agreed with this as because I did not know my script off by heart
it meant I could not look at the audience, instead I had to look at my
script, this made me look less confident.
• My second question was “did my magazine look professional?” out of all
the people asked 100% said yes, this is good as it means my magazine
was to the standard that it needed to be.
• I then asked what I could do to improve my magazine. Most responses
were telling me that I needed to add more details, and more cover lines
in order to fill some dead space that I had.

5. Survey Monkey results
I had a higher number of people
saying I did not cover everything on
the mark scheme, however it was only
a small margin more than people who
said I did. This shows that although
missed some things out it wasn’t very
much, as a number of people didn’t
notice.
Everyone I asked said that the
audience I targeted was the correct
one, this is very good feedback as it
means that I don’t need to change
who my target audience is.
Most people said I had enough detail
in my proposals however some people
said I didn’t, this means that I may
need to add some more detail but not
a major amount, because the majority
were happy with the detail.

6. Pitch Improvements
One improvement I made from the feedback I was received,
was I moved the main image, this was because the top cover
line was overlapping his face, so I moved the main image left,
and upwards, this meant his face was not obstructed, which
is important as he is the main attraction of the cover, so if his
face was covered it could lead to significantly less sales.
Another improvement that I made was adding an analysis to
my mood board, as previously it only had pictures without
explanation to what they were, or why I chose them and
how they related to my magazine.

7. Pitch Improvements continued
Another improvement I made, was adding a spending power
slide which I did not previously have. This is an important
slide as it explains who my audience is, the spending power
they have and this helps justify why my magazine is priced
how it is.
A fourth improvement I made was to my
production plan, I needed to add more detail as
previously it was not in much depth, I added
more explanation to each day, and possible
issues or limitations.