Ground breakingreflection isham

11.00am – 1.00pm Mr Noor Isham Sanif
Reflective Parenting - EQ
1.00pm – 1.30pm Solat Zohor (SQ -Spiritual Break)
2.00pm – 4.00pm Dr Zam (Chief Learning Consultant)
Breakthrough Cognitive Approaches -IQ
LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY
A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION
AUDITORIUM, SINGAPORE ISLAMIC HUB, BRADDELL ROAD
17 JUNE 2017

LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY: A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION 17 JUNE 2017

VIDEO CLIPS: BABY SITTING VERSUS PARENTING (1 MINUTE 40 SECONDS)
FIRST PLAY
VIDEO REFLECTION: HOW DO WE RESPOND TO OUR CHILDREN WHEN THEY SEEK OUR ATTENTION?

VIDEO CLIPS: BABY SITTING VERSUS PARENTING (1 MINUTE 40 SECONDS)
REPLAY

UNDERSTANDING PROCESS OF CHANGE
- - Understand the natural process of change
- - Navigate the seasons, or stages, of change
- - Seek change, rather than just letting it happen, and
- - Manage change, including controlling anger, developing
patience and handling stress
5/13LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY: A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION 17 JUNE 2017

1 – 7 years old (Emotional Intelligence)
7 – 14 years old (Cognitive Intelligence)
14 – 21 years old (Social Intelligence)
>21 years old
NEED AND LEARNING PERSPECTIVE
“Parents are so busy with Physical & Cognitive Growth, that they
neglected the significance of Emotional and Spiritual Growth on
each child.” Prof Julius B. Richmond, Harvard University
Need: Love, Care, Tender Touch
Need: Structure, Procedural
Need: Making Decision
Need: Consultation
Lifelong
5/13LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY: A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION 17 JUNE 2017

ARE WE “LISTENING” TO THEM ENOUGH?

WORKSHOP
HANDS-ON
TOOLKITS
Encouragement
Respond
NOT
React
Alternative
To
“NO”
Guide
What
To Focus
Effective
Parenting
Guide for
Busy
Parents
https://www.slideshare.net/noorishamirsyad/workshop-appendix-76850331

SAMPLE PRINTABLE CERTIFICATE – BOOK AWARD

How to Help Your Child Talk:
Get Down at His/Her Level and Make Eye Contact

Appendix 2
RESPONDNOTREACT
10 Minutes Practical

"How we respond to our children in our
homes today will have a profound impact on
how they interact with others in their world
today and everyday after."
-Bridget Miller.
GROWTH MINDSET

CASE SCENARIO
HOW WOULD YOU REACT ?

VIDEO CLIPS: PARENTING PUSH & INSPIRATION (3 MINUTE)

Appendix 4
GUIDEWHATTOFOCUS
5 Minutes Practical

A Ship and the Water in the Ocean

REFLECTION
WHAT IS MORE SERIOUS THAN A “WASIAT”?

• What is the family mission ?
• Are there alignments of each member of the family?
• Does it become topic of conversation?
• Who decide the family mission?
REFLECTION
WHAT IS MORE SERIOUS THAN A “WASIAT”?

HAVE WE REFLECTED THESE MATTERS?
What would you like your children to see in you?
What would you like to contribute to their lives?
What is one key life lesson that you really want your children to
learn from you and carry in their heart always?

ARE THESE ‘UNSEEN’ NON-TANGIBLE QUALITIES VALUED ?

PARENTS ROLE MODEL TO THEIR CHILDREN
A father said to his son, “Be careful where you walk.”
The son responded, “You be careful, remember that I follow in
your footsteps.”

Establish the extreme importance of salah
• Be punctual with your salah, get into the
habit of praying at the earliest hour, teach
this to your children, and they will be more
than likely to be punctual in everything else
they do.
• Make prayer times a family event: even if
children are not of age, let them join in or
sit quietly; so that when salah becomes
obligatory upon them, they are firm and
ready to speak to the King of kings with full
concentration.

GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION: THE POWER OF DOA
(EXTRACTED FROM MUFTI MENK’S LECTURE)
LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY: A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION 17 JUNE 2017LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY: A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION 17 JUNE 2017LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY: A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION 17 JUNE 2017LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY: A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION 17 JUNE 2017LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY: A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION 17 JUNE 2017LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY: A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION 17 JUNE 2017LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY: A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION 17 JUNE 2017LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY: A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION 17 JUNE 2017LEAVING BEHIND A LEGACY: A GROUNDBREAKING REFLECTION 17 JUNE 2017

Family meetings and meal times
• Have family meetings or councils (shura)
• Through such family meetings, we are teaching them to be
leaders, to manage and be managed, presentation and
speaking skills and how to resolve issues.
• Family meals together are another great time for bonding.

When you are setting boundaries be clear,
specific and remain positive:
Don’t write:
I want to stop Jasmine from watching TV.
I want to stop my mom from giving Faisal
to many sweets.
I want Kulthum to memorize a portion of
the Qur’an daily.
Instead, write:
Jasmine can watch TV for 30
minutes on a Saturday.
I want Faisal to start eating more
fruit and vegetables.
I will arrange for Kulthum to stay
awake after Fajr and memorize the
Quran for 30 minutes.

Get the kids to give sadaqah
• Baking for others
• Spread the joy of reading
• The Sadaqah Box

Let them get their hands dirty
"The great aim of education is not knowledge, but action.“
-Herbert Spencer

Highlight the big ideas
"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he
learned in school.“
-Albert Einstein

Let them lead!
"The only person who is educated is the one who has learned
how to learn and change."
-Carl Rogers

Want grateful kids? Give them less
Kids who understand gratitude have better grades and
are less likely to get depressed.

REFLECTING ABOUT OUR HEART

REFLECTING
SOCIAL EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT (SQ)

Appendix 1
ENCOURAGEMENTS
10 Minutes Practical

10 Social Manners
For Children
1
Say
Please
when asking
2
Say
Thank You
when receiving
3
Say
Excuse Me,
After bumping
Into someone
4
Put down your
electronics
When someone
Enters the room
5
Look people
In the eye
When speaking
6
Let others
finish
Before you speak 7
Shake others
firmly
8
Say
Yes Ma’am
and Yes Sir
When talking to
Grown up
9
Greet people with
Salam
And
“How are you?”
10
Open doors
For others

STORY OF THE BOY AND THE STARFISH
STORY: HOW DO WE NURTURE IHSAN IN OUR CHILDREN, THE SPIRIT OF RAHMAH?

MOVIE CLIPS: PAY IT FORWARD (3 MINUTES 13 SECONDS)
VIDEO REFLECTION: HOW DO WE NURTURE IHSAN IN OUR CHILDREN, THE SPIRIT OF RAHMAH?

REFLECTING
EFFECTIVE PARENTING

So-so parent
Soft parent
Run-down parent Hard parent
Effective parent
High
Low
HighLow
Concern for task
Concern
for person
(people)
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Appendix 6
GUIDEFORBUSYPARENTS

REFLECTING
ADVERSITY QUOTIENT (AQ)

Only when we rise to
our own fullest
potential can we
extend our hand to
our children and
others to help get
there too.

If children are taught to make decisions
from a young age, they will experience the
consequences of their choices more often and so
learn to make better decisions as they mature.
- Sir John Whitmore

Appendix 3
ALTERNATIVESTO“NO”

Brain Building Basic
When you struggle to learn something,
your brain actually grows.
-Bill Gates, August 2014

Impact of External Stimuli on Neurons for Higher Order Thinking
“The growth in each region of the brain
depends on receiving stimulation, which
spurs activity and growth in that region.”
-Child Welfare Information Gateway

The G.R.O.W.Coaching Model for Older Children
G: Goal
R: Resources and Reality
O: Options
W: Will or Way Forward

VIDEO CLIPS: CARD HARI RAYA SYAFIQA (4 MINUTES)

REMINDER OF TRUTH AND PATIENCE
(FAMILY MISSION AND VISION)

VIDEO CLIPS: READY TO BE THE NEXT IMAM (4 MINUTES)

On the Day of Accountability
All that our children do will be written down, and when their
book is presented on the Day of Accountability – the
contents will be based on our work!
Ask ourselves, what are we doing to ensure that our
children’s book will reflect righteous deeds, good character
and true success?

Solat Break 1-2pm (Muhajirin Mosque)
Dr Zam’s Talk 2-4pm (Auditorium)

Thank you for the generous feedback/reflection
Have the programme met your
expectations?
35% AGREE
65% STRONGLY AGREE

Is the duration of the programme just right?
31% STRONGLY AGREE
53% AGREE
13% NEUTRAL
5% DISAGREE

Is the venue suitable for the
programme?
57% AGREE
43% STRONGLY AGREE

How do you find the pace of the programme?
92% JUST RIGHT
9% A BIT FAST

How do you find the content of the programme?
79% PERFECT
18% COULD BE MORE
5% COULD BE REDUCED

• Alhamdulilah.. . Each one of them are very knowledgeable and well
versed in their own field. They each have their own strength and
presented well. I can understand what is being presented clearly.
Barakallahufeekum to all speakers who imparted their knowledge with
generosity and sincerity.
I came without any expectations, but the programme made me open
my heart and mind to a lot of possibilities...
Surely for me, the highlight of the programme was the closing by Mr
Noor Isham. Mr Noor Isham, you truly know how to make people cry
and tersentuh hati nurani... hehehe... The aura was awesome and
magnificent ! Leaving my legacy. Made me see my children in a
different light. To nurture my child in the most loving way, Insya Allah.
To become someone beneficial for other humans during this life and as
an asset in my life after death... Amin.

• Ustaz Andi Session, the layout of his talk left a
constant Positiveness towards the audience.
The closing Finale was very sentimental yet
touching for both parents and kids.
Mentors shared the experiences, giving numerous
possibilities aspects.

• There were a lot of tips and takeaways.. For me, it was a lot of
1) Reflection on myself and the way I do my parenting. It helps me to
realise that I have been doing some of things the wrong way. With
new knowledge, I am able to understand my children better and work
towards a more structured, customised and systematic approach to
enhance each of their strength and abilities.
2) To reflect, recharge and renew faith, love and sincerity into
parenting my child. The struggles and exhausting journey will in the
end be all worth it ! Man Jadda Wa Jadda.
3) Reflect upon death. Life and time of death is in the hands of Allah
swt the Almighty Creator. Life itself is a Blessing and to embrace each
moment. No material things can make us happy apart from being
together as a family and being close to the Creator. Understanding
your role as a human being and acting upon what the Creator wants us
to do until we return to HIM.

• Family bonding, Spiritual & emotional balance,
Lower learning expectation, build the greatness in
oneself, MEALS concept, Mental toughness &
essence of confidence, LIVE & LOVE, etc..

• How to create a lasting legacy, how to recognise
and facilitate better learning method, how to be a
better parent

• Understanding our purpose and motivation as
parents first, as reminders of how we should
conduct ourselves as Parents.

• The process of creating a Family vision,
constructive methods and ways to fathom our
children and ourselves.

• Tips given by speakers on upbringing children
Islamically.
• Not to take things for granted. What we have right
now are given to us as a GIFT from Allah swt.
• Always reflect and have self control.

• Pak Andi motivational speeches really helped me
reconcile with my shortcomings and have given
me the motivation and recharged my batteries.
THE END OF SURVEY

Ground breakingreflection isham

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