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High-Performance Communication, June 2013

  1. 1. High-performance communication Photo: Andres Rueda Ed Batista, June 2013
  2. 2. Suspension of belief… Photo: sethoscope [link] More at
  3. 3. …& taking risks Photo: Justin Ornellas [link] More at
  4. 4. Concepts #1 Emotional intelligence & groups Talking about emotions Photo: Lee Nachtigal [link]
  5. 5. EQ and groups Why should we care? Effective teams Participation, cooperation, collaboration But behavior can’t be mandated Photo: woodleywonderworks [link] More at
  6. 6. EQ and groups 3 essential conditions… Mutual trust Group identity (feeling of belonging) Group efficacy (belief in value of the team) Strongly affected by group EQ Photo: woodleywonderworks [link] More at
  7. 7. EQ and groups Individual EQ Emotional awareness Emotion regulation (≠ suppression) Inward (one’s own emotions) Outward (others’ emotions) Photo: woodleywonderworks [link] More at
  8. 8. EQ and groups High EQ individuals ≠ High EQ group Group norms determine group EQ Create awareness of emotion Help regulate emotion Operate at individual & group levels Photo: woodleywonderworks [link] More at
  9. 9. Talking about Affect labeling Amygdala Talking disrupts negative emotion Talking about emotion > Thinking about emotion feelings Photo: Andrew Yee [link] More at
  10. 10. Talking about Group norms Norms define what’s normative Can we talk about feelings here? Overcoming embarrassment feelings Photo: Andrew Yee [link] More at
  11. 11. Concepts #2 Safety, trust, intimacy Mindset Photo: Lee Nachtigal [link]
  12. 12. Safety, trust & Critical to group development Safety = A belief that we won’t get hurt Trust = We mean what we say… Intimacy = Able to make the private public intimacy Photo: Alex Guerrero [link] More at
  13. 13. CONTEXTLearning, Awareness, & Behavioral Change Experimentation, Risk-Taking, & Vulnerability Safety, Trust, Intimacy Initial Conditions More at
  14. 14. View of self & others Work in progress Capable of change Carol Dweck Mindset Photo: jm3 [link] More at
  15. 15. Talent & intelligence are inherent traits Mistakes are failures or character flaws Negative emotional response to mistakes Talent & intelligence can be developed Mistakes are learning opportunities Pay close attention to mistakes & learn more Fixed Growth Mindset More at
  16. 16. Mental models matter Stereotype threat Perception shapes our experience Mindset Photo: Renato Ganoza [link] More at
  17. 17. Norms & EQ Create awareness of emotion Help regulate emotion What norms do we have in place? What norms would we like to try? What will we need from each other? Photo: woodleywonderworks [link]
  18. 18. Concepts #3 Feedback Social threat SCARF model “The net” Photo: Lee Nachtigal [link]
  19. 19. Can I give you Photo: Robbie Grubbs [link] some feedback?
  20. 20. Photo: Mykl Roventine [link] Feedback and social threat More at
  21. 21. Threat response aka “Fight or flight” Physiological markers? Photo: William Warby [link] More at
  22. 22. Threat response Cognitive impairment… Analytic thinking Creative insight Problem-solving Photo: William Warby [link] More at
  23. 23. Photo: David Sim [link] Social threat More at
  24. 24. SCARF model Status Certainty Autonomy Relatedness Fairness More at
  25. 25. SCARF model & feedbackThreat to… Status? Certainty? Autonomy? Relatedness? Fairness? More at
  26. 26. Use the model When giving feedback… Be mindful of status Minimize uncertainty Maximize autonomy Build the relationship Play fair (“the net”)
  27. 27. Use the model When getting feedback… Recognize our threat response Manage our emotions Reframe
  28. 28. My behavior... Actions Statements Non-Verbals Needs Motives Intentions Feelings Reactions Responses The net Me & my... You & your.. Photo: The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] More at
  29. 29. The net Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response Don’t guess at motives Minimize social threat More at Photo: The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
  30. 30. Work styles Based on your worksheet Where am I most comfortable? Where are others most comfortable? What impact does this have on the team? Photo: Alex Proimos [link]
  31. 31. Concepts #4 More on feedback… Leveraging emotion Building the relationship Managing defensiveness Soft startup Photo: Lee Nachtigal [link]
  32. 32. Emotion and reasoning Emotional memories stick Just enough emotion Highly situational Emotion Photo: Ivan Walsh [link] More at
  33. 33. When giving feedback… Leverage power of emotion Share impact of behavior on us (Positive and negative) Emotion
  34. 34. When getting feedback… Be aware of our emotions Disclosure helps us manage stress Emotion
  35. 35. Feeling known by the other A culture of appreciation Mutual influence Responding to “bids” 5:1 positive to negative “Emotional bank account” Relationship More at
  36. 36. Defensiveness Form of threat response Cognitive impairment Feel misunderstood and want to explain Photo: roger alcantara [link]
  37. 37. Defensiveness When others are defensive… Empathy is key Restate our intentions Focus on behavior and its impact on us Photo: roger alcantara [link]
  38. 38. Defensiveness When we’re defensive… Recognize our threat response Disclose our emotions and reframe Resist the desire to explain Photo: roger alcantara [link]
  39. 39. Soft startup Photo: Phil McElhinney [link] Not like this
  40. 40. Soft startup Photo: OakleyOriginals [link] Like this
  41. 41. Begin with positive intent (But no bullshit) Emphasize mutual goals Be aware of our own stress Soft startup More at
  42. 42. Building the bridgePart 1 What feedback did we just hear? What does it motivate us to do? Photo: Leonardo Pallotta [link]
  43. 43. Building the bridgePart 2 What are the implications of today? How will this impact our work? How will we hold ourselves accountable? Photo: Leonardo Pallotta [link]
  44. 44. Photo:seelumstrum www.edbatista.comPhoto Credits Sky by Andres Rueda Trapeze by sethoscope Jump by Justin Ornellas Chalkboard by Lee Nachtigal Soccer Team by woodleywonderworks Feelings by Andrew Yee Handshake by woodleywonderworks Boy by Robbie Grubbs Brain by Mykl Roventine Crocodile by William Warby Office by David Sim Net by The Mighty Tim Inconnu Hats by Alex Proimos Laugh by Ivan Walsh Boxer by roger alcantara Sprinter by Phil McElhinney Canoe by OakleyOriginals Bridge by Leonardo Pallotta