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The Art of Self-Coaching @ Stanford GSB, Class 1: Beginnings


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A condensed set of slides from Class 1 in my course on The Art of Self-Coaching, Spring 2015 at the Stanford Graduate School of Business.

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The Art of Self-Coaching @ Stanford GSB, Class 1: Beginnings

  1. 1. The art of Photo by Seth Anderson [link] self-coaching Ed Batista Class 1: April 3, 2015
  2. 2. Class 1 Photo by Judy van der Velden [link]
  3. 3. Beginnings Photo by Judy van der Velden [link]
  4. 4. Photo by Alex Eflon [link] Where are we Learning community High-level concepts Logistics going?
  5. 5. How will we Very brief lectures Two activities Photo by Chloe Fan [link] get there?
  6. 6. Photo by U.S. Army [link] Working agreements
  7. 7. I will… Give you my best Welcome input End on time What else would be helpful for you? Working agreements
  8. 8. Working agreements I ask you to…
  9. 9. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link] Working agreements I ask you to… Start on time
  10. 10. Working I ask you to… Challenge yourself agreements Photo by Daniel Oines [link]
  11. 11. Working I ask you to… Respect confidentiality agreements Photo by Vox Efx [link]
  12. 12. Working I ask you to… Minimize distractions agreements Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]
  13. 13. Working I ask you to… Start on time Challenge yourself Respect confidentiality Minimize distractions Can we all commit to this? agreements
  14. 14. Who am I? Coaching/self-coaching An exercise Coaching tools Partnerships Logistics Today’s agenda Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]
  15. 15. Who am I? Instructor Leadership Labs & Fellows Touchy Feely Class of 2000 Executive coach & HBR contributor
  16. 16. Why coaching matters to me… Started as a client Changed my view of leadership Impact on hundreds of students & clients
  17. 17. Why self-coaching does, too 1% 6 to 24 months Help my students & clients help themselves
  18. 18. What’s coaching? Not advising or mentoring Not diagnostic Coachee owns the agenda Coachee has the answers Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
  19. 19. Guiding our own growth & development Not a solitary experience, but self-directed Coaching partners are essential You’ll have 2 in this course & self-coaching? Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
  20. 20. Positive Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link] psychology
  21. 21. Positive psychology Study of what makes life most worth living Equally focused on strengths & weaknesses Robust research to date
  22. 22. Risk of social comparison Sense of agency  We blame ourselves Avoid triumph & despair Get curious instead The downside
  23. 23. Joyful learning Photo by Harry [link]
  24. 24. Joyful learning Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves performance up to a point Some stress increases learning Too much stress diminishes learning
  25. 25. Joyful learning Stress Learning
  26. 26. Joyful learning Hans Selye, Université de Montréal Eustress & distress
  27. 27. Joyful learning Stress Learning Eustress Distress
  28. 28. Joyful learning Judy Willis Teachers limit stress levels  Students learn more
  29. 29. Joyful learning Stress Learning Eustress Distress Critical to avoid the tipping point
  30. 30. Safety, trust, Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link] intimacy
  31. 31. CONTEXTLearning, Awareness, & Behavioral Change Experimentation, Risk-Taking, & Vulnerability Safety, Trust, Intimacy Initial Conditions
  32. 32. Safety, trust, intimacy Built through relationships A critical skill for self-coaching You’ll practice in here with partners
  33. 33. Coaching team Photo by Yahoo [link]
  34. 34. Coaching tools Photo by zzpza [link]
  35. 35. Coaching tools Ask, Listen, Empathize
  36. 36. Coaching tools Ask Edgar Schein Help doesn’t always help What’s a better way?
  37. 37. Modes of inquiry Photo by Garry Knight [link]
  38. 38. Modes of inquiry 1. Pure inquiry Begin with receptivity Avoid presumptive questions Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
  39. 39. Modes of inquiry 1. Pure inquiry 2. Diagnostic inquiry Focus & redirect Feelings, motives, actions Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
  40. 40. Modes of inquiry 1. Pure inquiry 2. Diagnostic inquiry 3. Confrontational inquiry Introduce new ideas & hypotheses Substitute the coach’s narrative Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
  41. 41. Modes of inquiry 1. Pure inquiry 2. Diagnostic inquiry 3. Confrontational inquiry We tend to move too quickly Critical to check our assumptions Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
  42. 42. Ask better Photo by Alexander Drachman [link] questions
  43. 43. Ask better Get beyond Yes or No What…? & How…? > Why…? More reflection, less defensiveness questions
  44. 44. Ask better No leading questions That’s advocacy, not coaching questions
  45. 45. Ask better One more tip… Ask once & stop questions
  46. 46. Coaching tools Ask, Listen
  47. 47. Listening skills Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
  48. 48. Listening skills Hearing ≠ listening How they feel > what you hear Make them feel heard
  49. 49. Listening skills Focused attention > time Cultivate presence Eye contact No multi-tasking Eliminate distractions
  50. 50. Coaching tools Ask, Listen, Empathize Brené Brown* Shame & empathy Edgar Schein Shame in helping relationships
  51. 51. Shame & empathy Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link]
  52. 52. Shame & Shame = We are flawed & unworthy of love Empathy = The antidote to shame empathy
  53. 53. Shame & Shame = Unravels relationships & connections Empathy = Creates closeness & meaning empathy
  54. 54. Shame & Seeking help typically triggers shame (or embarrassment or vulnerability) empathy
  55. 55. Shame & But typical helping responses block empathy 1. “My problem’s worse” 2. “Look on the bright side” 3. “Here’s some advice…” empathy
  56. 56. Shame & Instead… 1. Respect their view & avoid judgment 2. Look for, sense & validate feelings 3. Express understanding empathy
  57. 57. Traps for the coach Photo by Casey Fleser [link]
  58. 58. Traps for the coach Giving advice prematurely Overpowering resistance Taking on the problem Stereotyping Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
  59. 59. Photo by Juhan Sonin [link] Partners
  60. 60. Course logistics Photo by Glyn Lowe [link] Everything’s on Canvas Syllabus = Home page & PDF All readings = PDFs or websites Assignments = Left menu & bottom of Syllabus
  61. 61. Course logistics Contact me (also in Syllabus) Email, phone, text are all fine Generally 8am-6pm
  62. 62. Grading Photo by O C Always [link]
  63. 63. Grading Attendance 30% Weekly assignments 40% Final paper 30% Pass/fail allowed 3.45 mean GPA
  64. 64. Attendance Photo by dcjohn [link]
  65. 65. Attendance It matters A lot Unexcused absences = grade impact More than 1 may = U
  66. 66. Written work Photo by Anonymous Collective [link]
  67. 67. Written work 8 weekly assignments, 1000 word limit Final paper, 5000 word limit Deadline is always Wednesday @ 6pm
  68. 68. Written work The content is up to you Responses to course materials & experiences No specific questions, prompts or requirements
  69. 69. Written work 5 grading criteria: Timely Personal Conceptual Well-crafted
  70. 70. 1:1 Meetings Photo by crabchick [link]
  71. 71. 1:1 Meetings Entirely optional, no impact on grade Wednesdays & Fridays Default = Meet in front of Bass & go for a walk
  72. 72. For next time… Photo by Earls37a [link]
  73. 73. Change Photo by Earls37a [link]