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Stanford Class Presidents, Session One: Feedback

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Stanford Class Presidents, Session One: Feedback

  1. Feedback & Photo by Ashraful Kadir [link] Coaching, Part 1 October 19, 2015 Ed Batista @ the Stanford Class Presidents
  2. Photo:SethAnderson Who am I? Executive coach Instructor & GSB alum www.edbatista.com HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees
  3. Photo:SethAnderson Why feedback matters to me… Touchy Feely Changed my view of myself Impact on my professional path & life
  4. Photo:SethAnderson & why coaching does, too Started as a client Changed my view of leadership Impact on my clients & GSB students
  5. Photo by Alex Eflon [link] Where are we Today: Feedback as an interpersonal skill Next time: Coaching as a leadership tool going?
  6. How will we Discussion (~40 min) Exercises & debriefs (~1 hr 15 mins) Work as a group & in pairs get there? Photo by Chloe Fan [link]
  7. Concepts #1 Today’s headline The simplest feedback model Feelings Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  8. The headline Feedback is stressful So critique with skill & express more heartfelt appreciation Photo by Garry Knight [link] Read More
  9. The simplest When you do [X], I feel [Y]. feedback model Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
  10. Feelings Disclosing feelings = vulnerable But feelings  influence And vulnerability  closeness Comfort with discomfort Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link] Read More
  11. Concepts #2 5 levels Hierarchy of needs Safety, trust, intimacy Social threat SCARF model Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  12. 5 levels Photo by Rita Willaert [link] Richard Francisco In what ways do we communicate? Increasing levels of difficulty, risk & learning
  13. 5 levels1: Ritual 2: Extended Ritual 3: Content 4: Feelings About Content 5: Feelings About Each Other Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
  14. 5 levels 5: Feelings About Each Other Hardest Riskiest Most powerful for feedback Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
  15. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Abraham Maslow What motivates us as human beings?
  16. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Physiological Safety Love & belonging Esteem Self-actualization
  17. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Parallels in groups & relationships
  18. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Psychological safety, trust & intimacy Experiments, risk-taking & vulnerability Learning, self- awareness & change In groups & relationships…
  19. Safety, trust, Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link] intimacy
  20. Safety, trust, intimacy Safety = I won’t get hurt Trust = I believe you & you believe me Intimacy = We can make the private public Read More
  21. Safety, trust, intimacy Feedback can create these qualities But there’s a problem…
  22. Can I give you Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link] some feedback?
  23. Feedback and Photo by Mykl Roventine [link] social threat
  24. Threat response aka “Fight, flight or freeze” Physiological Photo by State Farm [link]
  25. Photo by State Farm [link] Threat response aka “Fight, flight or freeze” Emotional
  26. Photo by State Farm [link] Threat response aka “Fight, flight or freeze” Cognitive Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration
  27. Social threat (Some) social situations ≈ Physical threats Many times/day Most common location?
  28. Social threat Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
  29. Social threat Physiological/emotional response plus… Cognitive impairment Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
  30. Social threat Result? Massive communication failure We give feedback ineffectively We receive it poorly Photo by Heisenberg Media [link] Read More
  31. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] SCARF model
  32. SCARF model David Rock What social situations trigger a threat response? How can we minimize the risk of social threat? How can we create safety? Read More
  33. SCARF model Status Certainty Autonomy Relatedness Fairness
  34. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] Use the model When giving feedback… Be mindful of status Minimize uncertainty Maximize autonomy Build the relationship* Play fair*
  35. Use the model When getting feedback… Cultivate in-the-moment awareness Recognize our threat response Manage our emotions Slow things down
  36. Photo by Harsha KR [link] Relationships
  37. Relationships John Gottman What characterizes successful relationships?
  38. Relationships Feeling known by the other A culture of appreciation Responding to “bids” Mutual influence Read More
  39. Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] The net David Bradford How to improve communication? How to minimize defensiveness? How can we play fair?
  40. The net Me You Your response My behavior My intention
  41. What I know Me My intention My behavior
  42. What I don’t You Your response
  43. What you know You Your response My behavior
  44. What you don’t Me My intention
  45. Use the model Intent ≠ impact My intention doesn’t guarantee your response Impact ≠ intent Your response wasn’t necessarily my intention
  46. Use the model Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response When you do [X], I feel [Y].
  47. Use the model Result? Lower risk of social threat Less chance of defensiveness Increased sense of fairness
  48. To sum up Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
  49. To sum up Build safety, trust & intimacy Remember SCARF & the Net Minimize social threat Less stressful feedback More learning
  50. Thank you! Photo by Brett Casadonte [link] www.edbatista.com

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