The 5 Donor Love Languages

The 5 Donor
Love Languages 
 
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Our guest presenter »
Tammy Zonker
@TammyZonker
• international speaker and trainer
• one of America's Top 25  
Fundraising Experts
• helped raise more than $450M
including a single gift of $27.1M
• President Founder:  
Fundraising Transformed
• Chief Philanthropy Officer:
• The Children’s Center of  
Wayne County (Detroit)

WWW.TAMMYZONKER.COM
The Five Donor Love Languages
The secret to lasting donor relationships
WWW.TAMMYZONKER.COM

Copyright © 2017| Tammy Zonker, LLC | Fundraising Transformed | All Rights Reserved.
The Original 5 Love Languages
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Dr. Gary Chapman
More than 11 Million Copies Sold
1. Acts of Service
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Gifts of Appreciation
4. Physical Touch
5. Quality Time
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Copyright © 2017 | Tammy Zonker, LLC | Fundraising Transformed | All Rights Reserved.
What’s the Problem?
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On average we retain 46% of our donors annually.
Fundraising Effectiveness Project 2016
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Source: Bloomerang 2017

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“Over 70 percent of new donors we recruit
to our organizations never give again.”
Dr. Adrian Sargeant
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Top reasons why donors surveyed said they no longer give:
54% Could no longer afford it 
36% Others were more deserving
18% Poor Service or communication
16% Death 
13% Never received a thank you
9% No memory of supporting (an outcome of poor communication)
8% No information on how monies were used 
5% Thought the charity did not need them
Dr. Adrian Sargeant & The Rockefeller Corporation Stud
via Stay Together by Jay Love | Bloomerang
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What Do Donors Want?
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“People want to make a difference and know their life matters.”
Oprah Winfrey
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What donors specifically want:
• To know their gift made a difference.
• To be thanked promptly and accurately.
• To feel their gifts are sincerely appreciated.
• To be kept informed about their interest areas related to your work.
• To feel special, unique and valued as an individual and/or family.
• To feel confident you’ll take great care of people they introduce to you.
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What’s the Solution?
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LOVE
The currency of lasting donor relationships.
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1. Hands on Service
3. Tokens of Appreciation
4. Quality Time
5. Proof of Impact
So What Are The Five Donor Love Languages?
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1. Hands on Service (meaningful engagement in the mission)
2. Words of Affirmation (handwritten notes and gratitude calls)
3. Tokens of Appreciation (inexpensive mission-related gifts)
4. Quality Time (meaningful face-to-face visits)
5. Proof of Impact (storytelling and outcomes sharing)
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TCC Donor Engagement Experiences:
• Summer Day Camp Volunteers
• Read With Me volunteers to read to children in the lobby
• Teach life skill classes to youth in foster care
• Homework Help Monday & Wednesday tutors
• Center for Family Literacy volunteers
• Art Enrichment participation
• Back-to-school back pack drives and distribution
• Holiday Shop gift drives, personal shoppers, gift wrappers
• Boutique volunteers (gently used clothing merchandising)
• Foster Parent Appreciation Dinner guests
• Foster Care Awareness campaign volunteers
• Serving Thanksgiving Day meals
• Thanksgiving Day Parade volunteer escort 200 children and family members
• Monthly birthday parties
• Monthly board game nights
• “Give to the Max” youth philanthropy program
• Quarterly tea parties
• Flower planting on campus
• Urban garden care and maintenance with youth
•
1. Hands On Service
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READ WITH ME PROGRAM
Renee, Board Chair & Leadership Supporter
1. Hands On Service
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URBAN
GARDENING
WITH YOUTH
Team GMcares
1. Hands On Service
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ADOPT A FAMILY
FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Kelly & Matthew, Major Donors
1. Hands On Service
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SUMMER DAY CAMP
EXPERIENCE
Byamina & Gia, Major Donors
1. Hands On Service
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Engaging donors in hands-on mission related activities
• Review your program calendar to identify potential mission experiences for donors.
• Assess your volunteer opportunities for episodic or on-going mission-related
• Opportunities for donors experience your work in meaningful ways.
• Segment these experiences by program or mission area.
• Rank these experiences from highest emotional impact to lowest.
• Map this “experience menu” to your donor segments based on giving and/or capacity.
• Strategically identify specific individuals to engage in hands on service.
• Deepen your donor’s affinity for your mission through meaningful hands on engagement.
1. Hands On Service
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Donors want sincere acknowledgement letters and notes
51% Letter is personalized in some way 
30% Letter acknowledges how gift will be used
16% Handwritten notes 
13% Notes and letters signed by a Board Member
Cygnus Research
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Attributes of a great gift letter
• Prompt (72 hours of gift receipt)
• Accurate name, spelling, grammar, gift amount
and restrictions specified if any
• Include a grateful testimonial quote
• 3:1 “You” vs. “We” ratio – Tom Ahern
• B.O.Y. Because of you… - Jerald Panas
• Include mission impact statements
• Real signature by the best person
• Include a handwritten personal message
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Dear Mr. & Mrs. Jones,
On behalf of The Children’s Center Board of Directors, staff and those we
serve - we thank you for the donation of $5,000 processed on April 29th,
2017. Our work of helping to heal more than 7,500 children and families
is critical to the future of Detroit.
We provide more than 22 evidence based therapeutic programs through
our 200 clinicians, 10 psychiatrists and two neuropediatric psychologists.
Our COA accreditation affirms we deliver the highest quality clinical and
behavioral health services available to the children and families we
serve.
Again, thank you for your support. Please keep this letter for your files, as
it serves as your IRS tax receipt.
Sincerely,
Tammy L. Zonker
Tammy L. Zonker 
Chief Philanthropy Officer
P.S. Please contact us about including The Children’s Center in your
estate plans!
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Anatomy of a Terrible Gift Letter
•Formal Salutation
•“On behalf of...”
•More “We” than “You”
•More about the organization than
those served
•Jargon & Acronyms
•Transactional tone
•Formal signature
•Additional monetary ask

“I don’t know what's ahead for our family, but I do know that we aren’t alone. We
have The Children’s Center.”
- LaTonya, Parent
Dear Dan and Patricia,
You are amazing! Your generous gift of $5,000 makes it possible for more children to be seen,
heard, healed and loved. Thanks to you, families like LaTonya’s are on the path toward overcoming
unimaginable challenges, and realizing their dreams.
From the life-changing mental and behavioral health therapies, emergency crisis care services to
providing summer day camp scholarships; your gift is turning trauma into triumph, despair into
determination and fear into courage every single day.
If you'd like to see first-hand how you are changing lives, let me take you on a personal tour. Thank
you again for making a difference in the lives of our children and families.
With gratitude,
Tammy
Tammy L. Zonker 
Chief Philanthropy Officer
P.S. Can’t wait to take you on a tour and share more stories of courage and healing. You’ll see just
how much you are changing lives.
The Children’s Center of Wayne County, Inc. is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization, IRS tax I.D. number 38-12345678. No
goods or services were provided in consideration of this contribution.
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Attributes of an effective handwritten note
• Begin with a sincere compliment
• B.O.Y. Because of you.....
• Impact on a service recipient ...not your agency
• Gratitude statement
• Non-monetary call to action
(Take a tour, come see your investment at work, if I can help you, introduce us to your colleagues)
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EXAMPLE OF AN EFFECTIVE HANDWRITTEN NOTE:
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Dear Jamie & Denise,
You have the biggest hearts ever! Because of you, children and families who
have experienced unimaginable trauma are receiving treatment to heal, grow
and thrive. As board member I’m especially grateful for your generosity and
compassion. You are literally saving lives!
With gratitude,
Tonya
P.S. If you haven’t already taken a tour, please join us to see the difference you’re making firsthand!

Other important attributes of a
handwritten note:
• Thank donors for something
specific versus a generic “thanks
for all you do” message
• Conversational vs. formal tone
• One-to-one or a Group-to-one
• Hand addressed envelope
• First class stamp
• Special occasion
• Thinking of YOU today!
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Holidays & Special Occasions
• Make them mission-focused
• Use your own photography if possible
(with releases)
• Use warm, informal language
• Imagine you’re writing to a dear friend
• Handwritten message
• Hand addressed envelope
• First Class stamp
• Be culturally sensitive
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Dear Kim,
You’re such an amazing champion in the fight
against stigma and bullying.
I knew you’d enjoy seeing this article featuring The
Children’s Center and the anti-stigma efforts you so
passionately support.
Thank you for the love and compassion you show
the children and families we serve every day.
With gratitude,
Tammy
P.S. Let’s catch up soon. I’ll call you to schedule.
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Dear Peter,
Imagine my excitement to open Crain's Detroit
Business to see you and your business partner
featured!
Congratulations on your amazing new venture!
With your extraordinary leadership and
remarkable expertise in PR, your success has no
limits.
You’re so good to the children and families we
serve. It’s great to see good things happen for
YOU!
With gratitude,
Tammy
P.S. Bring Marilyn in for a tour! I’d love to meet her.
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YOUR TURN TO SPEAK THE LANGUAGE:
• Select a “thank you” note from your table.
• Think of ONE special donor.
• Consider what makes them special, brings them joy, their connection to
your mission.
• Write them a sincere thank you message.
• Begin with an authentic compliment
• B.O.Y. Because of you.....
• Impact on a service recipient ...not your agency
• Include a gratituDe statement
• Include a non-monetary call to action
• Address and mail in the next 24 hours. First class stamp already provided!
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Donors Want Gratitude Calls from Board Members
• 95% of survey respondents would appreciate a Board
Member calling to say thank you 
within a few days of making a gift.
• 85% would definitely or probably support the charity
again if this happened.
• 86% would definitely or probably give a larger gift if
they received a thank you call. 
Cygnus Research.
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“Gratitude Team”
• Recruit Board Members and others willing to make
gratitude calls or write hand-written notes.
• Create a process for assigning and distributing the
donor call/note lists and contact information via email.
• Create & Distribute Gratitude Kits:
• Mission focused blank note cards and envelopes
• Fine Point Pen
• Fun rubber stamp and ink pad
• Token of appreciation (chocolate, pocket mirror, etc.)
• Have a process for replenishing cards, envelopes, etc.
• Have a process for sharing call feedback for data entry.
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Two Ways to Host a Donor Thank-a-Thon
1. Thank-a-thon Event
• Select a date and time
• Instruct callers to bring cell phones and chargers
• Gather callers
• Distribute & review call script
• Distribute call lists
• Instruct callers to make and return call notes
• Disperse and make calls for 60 or 90 minutes
• Reconvene and debrief
• Turn in call sheet notes for data entry
2. Distribute call lists and organize a “Gratitude Week” in
which callers commit to making calls on their own and
returning call sheets with notes for data entry.
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1. Hands on Service (meaningful engagement in the mission)
2. Words of Affirmation (handwritten notes and gratitude calls)
3. Tokens of Appreciation (inexpensive mission-related gifts)
4. Quality Time (meaningful face-to-face visits)
5. Proof of Impact (storytelling and outcomes sharing)
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All tokens of appreciation are not equal.
• Mission-focused
• Inexpensive or no cost
• Unique or one of a kind
• Personal - based on what they value
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Valentine’s Day
#DonorLove
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Valentine’s Day
#DonorLove
Care Packages
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Gratitude Treats
“Just Because”

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Gratitude Treats
“Just Because”
Shanon Doolittle Special:
Send an ice cream truck to
a supporter’s business.

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Framed Photos
of Major Donors
FromYour Gala

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“Philanthropy is carefully taught.”
Tina V. Ford
Thoughtful mission-focused gifts for major
donor’s children and grandchildren.

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“Understand what your donors care about.”
Thoughtful gifts for major donor’s pets.

Define what quality time with donors means
• Leaves the donor feeling valued and appreciated
• Donor understands the impact of their gifts
• Brings the donor closer to your mission
• Helps the donor gain a deeper understanding of your mission and needs
• Strengthens the emotional connection to your work
4. Quality Time
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• Face-to-face visits
• CEO & Board member visits
• Gratitude reception
• House parties hosted by key
donors
• Mission Tours
• Telling impact stories
• Insider Information
• Exclusive impact events
4. Quality Time
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4. Quality Time
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Exclusive
Insiders
Experiences
5. Proof of Impact
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5. Proof of Impact: IMPACT REPORTS
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5. Proof of Impact: BRAND STORY
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HOW TO GET STARTED CREATING YOUR DONOR LOVE CALENDAR
Segment Donors by Gift Values: 
Major Donors $10K + 
Leadership Donors $1K - $$9,999 3. $500 - $999 
$499 - $250 
$249 < 
Monthly Giving Members
1. Map your donor love engagement opportunities menu to these segments
2. Schedule activities into your work plan and calendar
3. Recruit Board Members and others to participate on Team Gratitude
4. Start sharing the love!
Creating Your Annual Donor Love Plan
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Creating Your Annual Donor Love Plan
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CYGNUS RESEARCH TEST GROUP RESULTS
• Average gift value was 39% higher among test donor in the next campaign
• After 14 months, the test group was performing at giving rate 42% higher than the
control group (control group not receiving special acknowledgement).
• Retention was 70% for the test group.
• Attrition in the control group (not receiving special acknowledgments) exceeded 80%.
Will Speaking Love Languages Really Make a Difference?
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Remember to have heart
H - handwritten notes 
E - evidence donors are making a difference
A - authentic appreciation 
R - real life experiences 
T - thank promptly and accurately
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CONNECT WITH TAMMY
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telephone: 260.438.9325
email: tammy@tammyzonker.com
web: http://tammyzonker.com
twitter: @tammyzonker
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/fundraisingtransformed
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tammyzonker/
linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/tammyzonker
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440 Burroughs Street | Suite 639
Detroit, Michigan 48202 - USA

ABOUT TAMMY ZONKER
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Shortly after arriving in Detroit, she led the team effort to secure a $27.1M gift from General Motors
to the United Way for Southeastern Michigan – the single largest gift in the history of the GM
Foundation. Since 2000, Tammy's transformational approach to fundraising coaching and training
nonprofits has resulted in more than $400M in contributions to help transform the world.
In her practitioner work, Tammy serves as Chief Philanthropy Officer with The Children’s Center in
Detroit, where she has led the team effort to triple fundraising revenue in three years. She believes
her hands-on fundraising practitioner experience keeps her connected to current donor trends and
powerfully informs the development of her training curriculum.
As President of Fundraising Transformed, Tammy is an envelope-
pushing fundraising practitioner, inspiring international speaker, and
powerful trainer in the discipline of transformational philanthropy. In
2008, after more than15 years consulting and training nonprofits, she
felt a calling to return to the front lines of fundraising in one of the
most economically challenged city in the U.S. - Detroit.

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