In this final installment in a 4-part series about emotional intelligence, award-winning coach, speaker, and author Ros Cardinal discusses the basics of emotional intelligence and how you can begin to improve your emotional intelligence today.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
THE FOUR SKILLS OF
In this installment of our 4-part series, we're discussing
the fourth skill in the Mayer & Salovey model for
emotional intelligence: the ability to manage emotions.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MANAGING
EMOTIONS
SKILL #4
Managing emotions is the ability to effectively and
constructively manage your emotions and the
emotions of others while also being able to
incorporate those emotions into your thinking.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MANAGING
EMOTIONS
SKILL #4
An example:Â
Elaine is in a meeting with her division manager and the CEO of her
company. She’s presenting a plan her manager has already signed off
on, but at one point in the meeting, her manager (who is a bully in the
workplace and enjoys humiliating others) states that he’s still unsure
about the plan and is uncertain that it’s ready to be implemented.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MANAGING
EMOTIONS
SKILL #4
An example:Â
He expects Elaine to react angrily to this news or to be stunned into
silence (therefore painting her in a bad light in front of the CEO).
Elaine is certainly angry at her manager and infuriated that he would
try to humiliate her. However, she is also incredibly effective at
managing her emotions and so calmly responds.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MANAGING
EMOTIONS
SKILL #4
An example:Â
“I understand you may have concerns…” She then lists out the plan’s
benefits to the company and asks her manager to clarify what his
remaining objections are. He’s unable to come up with any and
agrees to sign off on the plan.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MANAGING
EMOTIONS
SKILL #4
To be clear, being adept at managing emotions isn’t synonymous with
ignoring emotions altogether. It doesn’t mean that you put your
emotions on hold or that you never act emotionally. Rather, it means
integrating your emotions into your decision making and behaviour in
such a way that the decisions you do end up making are constructive
and enhancing.Â
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MANAGING
EMOTIONS
SKILL #4
You may experience strong emotions, but you’re still able to think
clearly. You value your emotions without over valuing them, and in
that way, your emotions serve as inputs to your decisions and
behaviours – but never drivers to them.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MANAGING
EMOTIONS
SKILL #4
Below, you'll find simple strategies you can begin
implementing immediately in order to better develop
this fourth skill in the Mayer & Salovey model.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MANAGING
EMOTIONS
SKILL #4
"DEVELOP A META VIEW"
View your emotions as an observer. Remember, emotions simply
dictate how we feel. They do not define us. You don’t have to fuse with
the emotion you’re presently feeling. So instead of saying “I am angry”
(fusing with the emotion), you can tone down the intensity that you
feel by instead observing: “I am noticing that I am getting angry.”
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MANAGING
EMOTIONS
SKILL #4
"EMOTIONS ARE TEMPORARY"
Emotions are time-linked, which is to say that they're only temporary
and will eventually pass. While important, they are only transient, and
so you don’t need to buy into them. Whether it's after a few minutes, a
few hours, or a few days, your emotion on an issue will eventually
change, or at least lessen.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MANAGING
EMOTIONS
SKILL #4
"BE OPEN TO EMOTIONS"
Some people would prefer to avoid emotions altogether, but emotions
can be incredibly useful. The next time you feel strong emotions about
something, ask yourself what your emotions are telling you. Quite
often, emotions can help guide your decisions as you consider the
best way to act as a result of what you’re feeling.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MANAGING
EMOTIONS
SKILL #4
"MANAGEMENT STRATEGY"
Many people dwell too much on their emotions without doing
anything about them. It’s important to take physical (or mental) activity
directed at the issue at hand. This is where journaling about your
emotions becomes highly beneficial. Other strategies include exercise
and social support.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MANAGING
EMOTIONS
SKILL #4
When you’re able to manage emotions, you'll be better equipped
to bring about effective outcomes in both yourself and in the
people you regularly interact with, leading to a happier and
healthier personal and professional life.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR
This concludes our 4-part series on improving your emotional
intelligence! Be sure to either save the links to these
presentations or download the slides so that you can review
them again and again.
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HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR
We hope you enjoyed this presentation!
Visit www.shapingchange.com.au for more resources on
leadership development, change management, emotional
intelligence, and more!