I interviewed a parent of a young, adolescent child. She described the reality of parenting and raising a child into a stand-up individual. This project assisted her to reflect on her parenting tools. Additionally, she informed me of helpful calm-down tools that I can provide to parents in my future mental health practice.

1. Parent Interview Project
Mia-Avery Gall
HDFS 4860: Parent and Child Guidance
Dr. Geoffrey Brown
November 15, 2022

2. Lily, age 8, is the youngest daughter of Jen. She currently lives with her mom and older sister.
Over the past seven months, Lily’s mother and father have separated and are in the process of
getting a divorce. Lily and her sister live in their house in Florida with Jen on the weekdays and
go to the beach to see their dad on the weekends. If her weekend is filled plans and activities, Paul
comes to the house and stays to watch the kids while Jen goes to the beach. This dynamic is
installed so Lily does not have to move around as much since it’s not her fault or choice that her
parents are getting a divorce. As a newly single mother, Jen puts all of her effort and energy into
creating the best life for her daughters. Lily has a very busy schedule with many extracurricular
activities to keep her off the iPad and enhance her well-being. She participates in acro-dancing on
Mondays, gymnastics on Wednesday, has Girls Scouts every other Thursday (with Jen as the
leader), and piano lessons on Friday. Jen mentioned that if these extracurriculars were not in place,
Lily would likely sit on her iPad all afternoon, which is a breeding ground for problems. Jen’s
parenting philosophies do not align with creating avoidable interpersonal issues over screens; she
limits access and ability for the health of Lily. Jen believes the real fault of the public school system
that large, government-run buildings go out of commission after 2:00pm. Dance classes, Spanish
classes, or other extracurricular activities should be held at the school once the day is over. These
facilities are not being used for half of the day. Our society requires parents to pick their children
up from school, drive them to their activities, and then pick them back up. If these programs were
offered at the school, it may increase the number of children who participate and by effect children
will spend less time on screens and more time socializing and growing as small humans.
JC adores that Stella can love and hate to great extremes. She is a very funny child that comes
up with a lot of creative things and ideas. JC mentioned that every parent thinks their kid is amazing
and the greatest to walk the earth because they are yours. It is literally in the DNA to love your

3. child unconditionally. In congruence, Jen said Lily is amazing. There is never a boring day with
her, and she makes things worthwhile. Prior to having children, Jen recalled contemplating the
meaning of life. Once she had kids, that thought has never crossed her mind because her whole
life has become about being a parent to her children. She constantly wishes she would have become
a mother earlier because if she knew how great motherhood was, she would have done it sooner.
She would have loved to have enjoyed being a mother while she was younger and for a longer
amount of time in her life. Being a mother of Lily makes Jen’s life eventful.
Lily is a very smart and very emotional young girl. She has a high IQ and is in the gifted
program; congruently, she is a more sensitive and emotionally charged child. Lily has highly
emotional outburst often. Jen is working on proactive approaches, and helping Lily not become
angry. Jen has instated a stars chart; when Lily receives two stars every day of the week, she
receives a special prize. Lily can receive one star for not saying mean things to Jen and the second
for using one of her calm down tools. Jen is working on having calm down tools become second
nature to Lily so she will remember to use them when she becomes angry, such as four-square
breathing or the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory tool. On especially good days, Jen will give Lily additional
privileges as a reward. Jen has many other positive reinforcement methods in place; however, these
methods don’t recorrect bad behavior. This causes Lily to take a longer time to earn rewards and
does not stop her bad behavior. Currently, Lily is experiencing about half good days and half bad
days; she is a challenging child. A lot of things don’t work for Lily, and she has a difficult and
unpredictable temperament.
Jen’s top priority as a parent is “Creating confident and kind, self-sufficient young women.
Not girls that need to grow up and find a husband because they can’t handle the world on their

4. own.” Jen wants Lily to be an independent and autonomous woman in the world and find a true
partner. Perseverance is another very important skill Jen instills in Lily. Jen’s parenting strengths
compliment her goal for her children. Jen is very organized, which is helpful due to all of Lily’s
activities and positive reinforcement practices. Jen has made a great effort to bond with Lily’s
friends’ parents. She has become very involved in the community and her children’s lives, even if
it means socializing with people she would not normally choose as friends. Socialization has been
one of the greatest and most influential skills in Jen’s parenting and Lily’s life.
Jen is not afraid to look outward for assistance with parenting Lily. Her primary resource for
parenting advice is her best friend, my mom, Amy. Amy provides Jen with a plethora of parenting
advice, podcasts, and books that worked for her in the past. Additionally, Jen uses Google for
references to parenting tools as well. Lily’s doctor is an important reference that Jen uses for advice
and guidance. She has created a great connection with the pediatrician and pays good money for
her expert advice. “You come into this world with a baby in your hands and then they say, ‘Okay,
go see this pediatrician in two weeks’, and you’re thinking ‘What about the 14 days before the
appointment. What do I do until then?’” Jen believes there needs to be far better resources at the
beginning of a child’s life. You are handed your baby in the hospital and expected to accomplish
so many goals and maintain the child’s safety with just your knowledge and research. She wishes
that the information was readily available to new mothers when you leave the pediatricians office
or when the child goes off to preschool. A book or handout would be very helpful that outlines
‘this is what you should be doing right now for your child’s stage in development’.
Questions:
1. Tell me the best thing about being a parent of Lily?
2. What are the biggest challenges or difficulties you face as a parent of Lily

5. 3. What is your top priority as a parent?
4. What are the strengths of your parenting practices?
5. Do you have specific rules, teachings, or values that you are trying to instill in
___________?
6. What works and doesn’t work in your parenting of ________?
7. Where do you go if you need to find information about parenting or child development?
8. Are there any resources that you wish were more readily available to help parents and
families?