Khóa Luận Sự Giống Và Khác Nhau Về Phong Tục Cưới Giữa Việt Nam Và Anh.docx

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Promise
Title: The similarities and differences between Vietnamese and English wedding
custom.
My thesis is conducted under the supervision of M.A. Nguyen Van Phi of the
Foreign Language Department at Hai Phong University. I declare that the
information reported in this paper is the result of my own work, except where due
to referent is made. I hereby certify that the information cited in the thesis has been
clearly identified.

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Acknowledgements
On completing this paper, I would like to express my sincere thanks to all
my teachers of Foreign Language Department of Haiphong University for their
encouragement and support.
I am especially grateful to my supervisor Mr. Nguyen Van Phi, who has
provided great help, advice and support during the process of my study.
Lastly, I would like to thank my family and friends who have played very
important roles in the completion of my study.
Haiphong, May 2021
Vu Thi Ngoc Anh

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Acknowledgements..................................................................................................3
Table of contents......................................................................................................5
Part I: Introduction
1. Rationale..............................................................................................................8
2. Aims of the study.................................................................................................8
3. Scopeofthe study................................................................................................8
4. Research questions...............................................................................................8
5. Method of the study.............................................................................................8
6. Design of the study..............................................................................................9
Part II: Development
Chapter 1: Literature review................................................................................10
1.1. Culture…………………….……………………………………..…....……...10
1.1.1. Definition of culture......................................................................................10
1.1.2. Classification of culture.................................................................................11
1.2. Marriage............................................................................................................16
1.2.1. Definition of marriage……………………………………………………...16
1.2.2. The English views of marriage……………………………………………..19
Chapter 2: Similarities in wedding customs of Vietnam and England…….....22
2.1. Early wedding traditions in the past.................................................................22
2.2. Engagement......................................................................................................23
2.3. Proofof love…………………………………………………………….……25
Chapter 3: Differences in wedding customs of Vietnam and England……….27
3.1. The views of marriage in the past.....................................................................27
3.1.1. The English views.........................................................................................27
Table of contents

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3.1.2. The Vietnamese views...................................................................................27
3.2. The place of wedding...................................................................................28
3.2.1. In Vietnam.................................................................................................28
3.2.2. In England.................................................................................................29
3.3. The wedding time.........................................................................................30
3.3.1. In England.................................................................................................30
3.3.2. In Vietnam.................................................................................................31
3.4. Traditional wedding dress............................................................................33
3.4.2. In England.................................................................................................33
3.4.1. In Vietnam.................................................................................................34
3.5. Gifts for engagement....................................................................................36
3.6. Other differences..........................................................................................37
3.6.1. Vows..........................................................................................................37
3.6.2. Bridesmaid.................................................................................................37
3.6.3. Veils...........................................................................................................38
3.6.4. Wedding cake............................................................................................39
3.6.5. Wedding flowers.......................................................................................43
3.6.6. Superstition in weddings...........................................................................44
3.6.7. Rice…………………………………………………………………...….51
3.6.8. Wedding photos………………………………………………………….51
3.6.9. Face-to-face ceremony…………………………………………………..53
3.7. Summary......................................................................................................53
Part III: Conclusion
1. Conclusion......................................................................................................54
2. Recommendations...........................................................................................56
References...........................................................................................................57

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PART I: INTRODUCTION
1. Rationale
In any country, a wedding is one of the most important things in life. Weddings
in Vietnam and England are no exception. In any country, getting married is still a
beauty in the mind of Vietnamese people. Over many stages, the wedding customs
of Vietnam and the UK has also been modernized due to the influence of Western
culture. Young people think that traditional weddings are too complicated and
unnecessary. However, the beauty of wedding culture is a precious beauty that
needs to be preserved.
The difference between wedding customs often shows the most in a country's
wedding culture. Most needed is the harmony so that the wedding day becomes a
harmony between generations and shows the culture of young couples.
In terms of definition, today's wedding ceremony retains its role as a cultural
custom in marriage, in order to widely inform everyone, and recognized by the
family society as husband and wife.
In Vietnamese minds, the wedding has a higher value than a certificate of
marriage registration. The wedding ceremony is a great moment of the whole
marriage process, a form of celebration, celebrating the bride and groom,
celebrating two families and having a very spiritual meaning.
In the past, the individual human being harmonized in the village community to
the maximum extent, all personal obligations and interests were related to the
community and governed by the community, including the right of couple
happiness. Therefore, "marriage is not a matter of two persons, but the marriage of
the two of them to marry and marry children".

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A couple's marriage is also the establishment of a relationship between two
families that were previously "unknown" and now become family members. So it
is necessary to consider whether or not that family has a registered subject for their
family or not.
Today's concept of the importance of a wedding remains intact. However, the
creation of a married couple is no longer too dependent on the community. In fact,
the right to decide belongs to the young couple. This also allows the bride and
groom to be more personal at the wedding.
2. Aims of the study
The aims of the thesis is to study the similarities and differences in the wedding
customs of Vietnam and England. The beauty in the wedding customs of the two
countries with many differences is the traditional face of each country, but they all
share the same symbols of marriage and express the happiness of the bride and
groom on the big day.
3. Scope of the study
Research is focused on the wedding customs in the current period of Vietnam
and England.
4. Research questions
What are the similarities in the wedding customs of Vietnam and England?
What are the differences in the wedding customs of Vietnam and England?
5. Method of the study
The thesis has used many different research methods to analyze and evaluate
the similarities and differences in wedding customs of Vietnam and England.
Image symbols shown in each country's wedding customs, documents related to
marriage, comparative method of wedding customs of the two countries show the

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similarities and differences from which to evaluate and comment, data analysis
obtained by specific evidence.
6. Design of the study
Part I includes the introduction of the study: rationale, aims, scope, research
questions, method and design of the study.
Part II presents the development of the study.
The topic includes 3 main chapters:
Chapter 1: Literature review
Chapter 2: The similarities of Vietnamese and English wedding customs
Chapter 3: The Differences in wedding customs of Vietnam and England
Part III refers to the conclusion and some recommendations of the study.

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PART II: DEVELOPMENT
CHAPTER 1: LITERATURE REVIEW
The introductory part has dealt with the statement of the study and provided a
brief description of the aims, scope, research questions, the method, and the design
of the study. This chapter presents the theoretical background related to the study
and consists of two parts. The first part discusses definition of culture in England
and Vietnam and the second part will provide the definition of marriage in English
and Vietnamese culture.
1.1. Culture
1.1.1. Definition of culture
Culture is a complex phenomenon. Culture has many definitions, and it
affects everything people do in their society because of their ideas, values, attitudes
and normative or expected pattem of behavior. And to understand this complex
phenomena more exactly and more accurately we must have to analyze some of its
definitions given by different scholars.
According to E. B. Tylor, "Culture is that complex whole which includes
knowledge, belief, art, morals, law, custom and any other capabilities acquired by
man as a member of society".
According to B. Malinowski, "Culture is the handiwork of man and the medium
through which he achieves his ends."

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According to H. T. Mazumdar, "Culture is the sum total of human achievements
material as well as non-material, capable of transmission, sociologically i.e. by
tradition-and communication, vertically as well as horizontally."
(Cited in http://www.yourarticlelibrary. com/culture/culture-characteristics and-
classifications-of-culture-sociology/6223/)
Or we can understand in another way: it is a social heritage of a group
(organized community or society). It is a pattern of responses discovered,
developed, or invented during the group's history of handling problems which arise
from interactions among its members, and between them and their environment.
These responses are considered the correct way to perceive, feel, think, and act,
and are passed on to the new members through immersion and teaching. Culture
determines what is acceptable or unacceptable, important or unimportant, right or
wrong, workable or unworkable. It encompasses all learned and shared, explicit or
tacit, assumptions, beliefs, knowledge, norms, and values, as well as attitudes,
behavior, dress, and language.
(http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/culture.html)
Culture and society are intricately related. A culture consists of the "objects" of
a society, whereas a society consists of the people who share a common culture.
When the terms culture and society first acquired their current meanings, most
people in the world worked and lived in small groups in the same locale. In today's
world of 6 billion people, these terms have lost some of their usefulness because
increasing numbers of people interact and share resources globally. Still, people
tend to use culture and society in a more traditional sense: for example, being a
part of a "racial culture" within the larger "U.S. society."
(https://www.cliffsnotes.com/study-guides/sociology/culture-and-
societies/culture-and-society-defined)

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1.1.2. Classification of culture
1.1.2.1. Classification cultural by philosophical point of view
Famous Sociologist W.F. Ogburn divides culture into two types such as
material culture and non-material culture.
- Material Culture
Material culture consists of products of human activity which is concrete,
tangible and observable. These objects are manmade and called as 'artifacts'. It
refers to books, chairs, tables, furniture, tools, and telephone. These material
culture are external and utilitarian. Material culture is invented for human
convenience. They contribute to the progress of society and it changes very fast.
- Non-material Culture:
Non-material culture consists of intangible and abstract things like customs,
values, good will habits, beliefs, language etc. Non-material culture is something
internal and they do not have physical existence. Non-material culture changes
very slowly. It is created taking the psychological basis of man and reflects the
inward nature of man. Non-material culture has two aspects such as cognitive and
normative. Cognitive aspect deals with knowledge whereas normative aspects
consist of norms, rules and values. We can't see it and touch it.
(http://www.yourarticlelibrary.com/culture/culture-characteristics-and-
classifications-of-culture-sociology/6223/)
Non-material culture refers to the abstract ideas and ways of thinking that make
up a culture. Examples of nonmaterial culture include traffic laws, words, and
dress codes. Unlike material culture, nonmaterial culture is intangible. There are
seven components of nonmaterial culture: Gestures, Language, Values, Norms,
Sanctions, Folkways, and Mores.

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Gestures are movements that people make in order to communicate with their
bodies. All cultures use gestures. Two cultures may use the same gesture, but it
may have different meanings in both cultures. For example, in America it is
perfectly normal to beckon or signal someone using your index finger. In Japan,
beckoning someone with your index finger can be seen as offensive.
Language consists of written and spoken words that we use to communicate
with each other. Each word can be thought of as a symbol to which the culture
gives a specific meaning. For example, the word 'school' in itself is just
combination letters. The American culture has given the word 'school' a specific
meaning, which is a learning institution. This definition is one shared throughout
the culture, so that whenever someone speaks about a school, we know exactly
what they are talking about. Language allows us to share ideas and experiences.
Most of our communication done by using language.
Values refer to a set of standards by which people define what is ethical in a
society and what is not. An example of an American value is freedom of speech.
Norms are set standards for how to behave in any given situation. An example of a
norm in Vietnam is to drive on the right side of the road. Sanction may be either a
permission or a restriction, depending upon context, as the word is an auto-
antonym. Folkways are norms that stem from and organize casual interaction, and
that emerge out of repetition and routines. We engage in them to satisfy our daily
needs, and they are most often unconscious in operation, though quite useful to the
ordered functioning of society. For example, the practice of waiting in (or on) line
in many societies is an example of a folkway. This practice creates order in the
process of buying things or receiving services, which smooth and expedites the
tasks of our daily lives.

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Mores are stricter in folkways, as they determine what is considered moral and
ethical behavior; they structure the difference between right and wrong. People feel
strongly about mores, and violating them typically results in disapproval or
ostracizing. As such, mores exact a greater coercive force in shaping our values,
beliefs, behavior, and interactions than do folkways.
(Folkways: A Study of the Sociological Importance of Usages, Manners,
Customs, Mores, and Morals (1906))
( https://www.thoughtco.com/folkways-mores-taboos-and-laws-3026267 )
(http://study.com/academy/lesson/nonmaterial-culture-definition-components-
examples.html )
1.1.2.2. Classification cultural by sociological point of view
Kroeber, A.L., & Kluckhohn, C. (1952). Culture: A critical review of concepts
and definitions. Harvard University PeabodyMuseum of England Archeology and
Ethnology.
- Classification by cultural regions:
According to this classification, ethnic groups in the same territory have cultural
similarities.
- Classification by economic criteria:
Nomadic culture:
Nomadic culture is associated with the existence and development of human
husbandry, the habitat is often concentrated in the savannas, cold and dry climates
such as Western Europe, North America. The origin for economic development is
mainly based on hunting and livestock, so it depends a lot on nature, thereby
giving people the habit of moving quickly and compactly. It can be seen that the
nomadic economy is always in a state "dynamic" - unstable.

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Due to the nomadic culture associated with hunting and breeding communities,
accustomed to austere natural conditions, people have thoughts of disregarding
nature, have ambitions to overpower nature, thereby giving them a analytical
thinking objectively, empirically and highly rational. When analyzing problems,
they often abstract them up and use metaphysical methods, use metaphysical
methods to develop science, then use experiments to verify.
Apply the principle of arbitration and promote the role of strength and
individual freedom. Therefore, the community and social organization are closely
organized, with discipline and strict rules, but handle the work mechanically and
principally. The State often performs functions that attach importance to national
defense and creates a legal corridor for members of a society to compete fairly,
The State focuses on social work but does not interfere deeply in the economy and
restrict state-owned enterprises.
With the ambition of conquering nature by its own abilities and strength, nature
is considered as the object of research to conquer and thereby scientific
development. For the community - society, due to the respect of individuality, the
principle of appropriation in receiving and toughness in coping, fairness in
relationships, often shows disagreements directly. continue and firmly defend their
views if they are correct.
Agricultural culture:
Agricultural culture is associated with the existence and development of human
farming, the living environment is often concentrated in the deltas, the East, with
natural conditions and stable climate. The economic origin is mainly based on
cultivation, thereby giving people the habit of preferring to settle down and live
permanently. It can be seen that the agricultural economy is in a state of "static" -
stable.

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Because the agricultural culture is associated with the farming community, it is
stable, only uses available natural resources, thereby making them less
adventurous, less creative, but effective. the group is high (due to settlement) and
often opposes competition among members for their own sake. They often have the
habit of indiscipline, like to live in balance, follow the philosophy of Yin and
Yang, dual thinking and respect for experience.
Applying the principle of respect for love, respect for virtue, respect for
harmony, individual interests often does not attach importance to and promote
collective interests. Therefore, the community and social organization are flexibly
organized to suit specific circumstances, so there is often a lack of strictness and
low discipline. The State focuses on education, social welfare, focuses on building
infrastructure and setting up State-owned enterprises (mainly), economic
protection.
Living dependent on nature, respecting the harmony with nature, being calm
and slow in working, in dealing with nature, so people often have a shy, shy,
ambitious mentality. For the social-community, harmony in reception, flexibility in
response, respect for experience, respect for filial piety, dignity, rarely expressing
disagreement in an extreme hot-tempered manner but resolving it a skillful way.
1.2. Marriage
1.2.1. Definition of marriage
According to the Ryan T. Anderson. (2013). Family and Marriage, marriage is
the establishment of a monogamous marriage relationship when the marriage
conditions are satisfied as prescribed by law. The marriage registration will be
recognized if it is registered at a competent State agency. Marriage is the
establishment of a monogamous marriage relationship when the marriage

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conditions are satisfied as prescribed by law. The marriage registration will be
recognized if it is registered at a competent State agency.
Marriage is a culturally recognized union between people, called husband and
wife. Marriage creates rights and obligations between them, as well as between
themselves and their children, and between them and the family of the other. The
definition of marriage differs around the world, not only between cultures and
between religions, but throughout the history of any culture or religion. Over time,
marriage has been extended and also limited in terms of who and what is included
in the concept. Usually, it is an institution in which interpersonal relationships,
usually sexual, are acknowledged or punished. In some cultures, marriage is
recommended or considered compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity.
When defined broadly, marriage is considered a cultural universal. A marriage
ceremony is called a wedding.
Individuals can get married for a number of reasons, including legal, social,
voluntary, emotional, financial, spiritual, and religious purposes. The person with
whom they marry may be influenced by gender, the rules that define society about
incest, rules on prescribed marriage, parental choices and personal desires. In some
parts of the world, arranged marriage, child marriage, polygamy and sometimes
forced marriage, can be practiced as a cultural tradition. Conversely, such acts can
be outlawed and punished in many parts of the world for concerns about infringing
on women's or children's rights (both women and men) or by law. international
law. Around the world, mainly in developed democracies, there is a common
tendency towards ensuring equal rights for women in marriage and the legal
recognition of marriages of couples. Husband of different religion, different race
and same sex. These trends coincide with the broader human rights movements.

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Marriage can be recognized by a state, an organization, a religious body, a tribal
group, a local community or colleagues. It is often referred to as a contract. When
a marriage is made and performed by a government entity under the jurisdictional
marriage law, without religious content, it is a civil marriage. Civil marriage
recognizes and creates intrinsic rights and obligations towards marriage in the eyes
of the state. When a marriage is performed with religious content under the
auspices of a religious organization, it is a religious marriage. Religious marriage
recognizes and creates intrinsic rights and obligations towards marriage in the eyes
of that religion. Religious marriages are referred to differently as sacramental
marriage in Catholicism, nikah in Islam, nissuin in Judaism, and many other names
in other faith traditions, and with each religion has its own set of bonds. about what
constitutes a valid religious marriage.
Some countries do not recognize religious marriages conducted locally and
require a separate civil marriage for official purposes. In contrast, civil marriages
do not exist in certain countries governed by a religious legal system, such as Saudi
Arabia, where marriages signed abroad may not be recognized. if they are signed
contrary to the interpretation of Islamic law. In countries governed by a mixed
secular secular religious legal system, such as in Lebanon and Israel, locally
conducted civil marriages do not exist in these countries, which prevents non-
religious marriage and many other marriages that are contrary to the religious laws
of that country; however, civil marriages performed in a foreign country can be
recognized by the state even if they conflict with religious law. In the case of
recognition of marriages in Israel, for example, this includes the recognition not
only of civil marriages performed abroad, but also of same-sex civil marriages
abroad.

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The act of marriage often creates legal or legal obligations between the
individuals involved, and any children the marriage creates or is adopted. In terms
of legal recognition, most other sovereign countries and territories restrict marriage
to heterosexual couples only and a small number of countries allow polygamy,
child marriage, and marriage. forced personnel. In modern times, a number of
increasingly developed countries, mainly developed democracies, have lifted the
ban and established legal recognition of the marriages of couples. Husband of
different religion, race and same sex. In some regions, child marriage and
polygamy can occur despite national laws against this practice.
Since the late twentieth century, major social changes in Western countries have
resulted in demographic changes in marriage, with an increasing age at first
marriage, few married people and more couples. husband chose to live together
rather than marry. For example, the number of European marriages decreased by
30% between 1975 and 2005.
Historically, in most cultures, married women had little of their own right to
consider, together with the family's children, the husband's property; As such, they
may not own or inherit property, or legally represent themselves. In Europe, the
United States and elsewhere in developed countries, starting in the late 19th
century, marriage underwent gradual legal changes aimed at improving the rights
of wives. These changes include giving the wife their own legal identity, removing
the husband's right to be physically controlled by the wife, giving ownership to his
wife, liberalizing the divorce law, creating give the wife their reproductive rights
and need her consent when having sex. These changes have occurred mainly in
Western countries. In the 21st century, controversy continues over the legal status
of married women, legal acceptance or tolerance of marital violence (especially
sexual violence), custom Traditional marriages such as dowry and bride prices,

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forced marriage, age at marriage and criminalize consensual acts such as premarital
sex and adultery.
1.2.2. The English views of marriage
The England views of marriage are quite different than those in the Vietnamese.
In England, marriage is seen as a two-party contract which can be terminated with
a divorce. This has made it easier for marriages to dissolve without going through
lengthy legal battles and costs associated with the dissolution process.
England also sees marriage as an equal partnership between the husband and
wife; once married, both are considered "next of kin" and are entitled to various
benefits such as the right to sue on behalf of their spouse in court, receive
information on their spouses’ medical history, make medical decisions for their
spouse if need be, inherit from their spouses or vice versa.
The Vietnamese views of marriage are more similar to the views held in the
Middle Ages where spouses were considered contracted between their families and
had no insurance policies or rights whatsoever. Essentially, marriages in the
Middle Ages included contracts that were effected by the two families that were
bound together with a promise of certain rights within which one member could
not be harmed or taken advantage of by another family member.
As more research is conducted about divorce, it is becoming more and more
apparent that there are many differences between the Vietnamese and England with
regards to marriage specifically. The changes in marriage laws have created a
revolution in terms of how people view marriage and its significance to them
personally. This has caused a lot of divorces simply because people feel as though
they are wasting their time with their spouse.
(https://spartacus-educational.com/Wmarriage.htm )

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(https://www.bsa.natcen.ac.uk/latest-report/british-social-attitudes-30/personal-
relationships/marriage-matters.aspx )
1.2.3 The Vietnamese views of marriage
Because of the differences of environments, ways for education, characteristics
of culture, the Vietnamese have different love and marriage attitudes from the
English. The Vietnamese think that love is mute, when they love a person, they do
not say “I love you”. They just show their love in actions and they usually feel
ashamed to say “I love you” or whenever they meet the person. It takes a long time
to summon up the courage to do these things.
Futher more, Vietnamese people do not get married just for love. They would
choose their marriage partner who is suitable to their educational, social, and
economic background. That is, they care more about the real things in real life than
the romantic feelings in a marriage.
Influenced by Buddhist theology and Confucian philosophy, the Vietnamese
believe that fate in marriage, as well as wealth and position, are preordained,
though choice could play some role in activating a positive or negative fate.
Traditionally, children lived with their parents until marriage, then the couple
moved to the husband’s father’s household. The extended family arranged
marriage, but individuals were usually consulted on the choice of their mate. The
typical engagement lasted six months, with little contact between the bride and
groom prior to the marriage. Traditionally the marriage was at one of the couple’s
homes. Men usually married between twenty and thirty years, and women at
eighteen to twenty five years.
As Western influence increased in Vietnam during this century, parents
began to take more of an advisory role in the choice of their child’s mate, and
arranged marriages are starting to decline. Today, most young Vietnamese date in

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the same way as English youth. Though rarely given absolute choice, family still
bears heavy influence over the decision to marry. Divorce is uncommon and is
considered shameful. In Vietnam, a man is responsible for his spouse until death.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditional_Vietnamese_wedding)
(http://www.elitedresses.com/Vietnamese_Wedding_Customs_s/17.htm)

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CHAPTER 2: SIMILARITIES IN WEDDING CUSTOMS OF VIETNAM
AND ENGLAND
2.1. Early wedding traditions in the past
It was carried out before the main bride pick-up time that the two families had
agreed with before. At this time, the bride's mother and some family members
bring betel and wine bottles to her house to warn the time of the arrival of the bride
so that the bride's family can feel secure and proactive in preparing for the
reception. Today, the marriage ceremony procedure is quite simple and light, not
too fussy as before.
The procession of the bride is the main and most important ceremony on the
wedding day of any couple. For the wedding ceremony there are also requirements,
precautions should be taken to ensure that:
The means of transportation is decided by the groom's family, but before
entering the bride's house, the reorganization of the lineup, the proper clothes to
ensure that all the rituals are carried out seriously on the wedding day.
Taking the lead in the group to pick up the bride's family is usually the
representative, then the groom's father, groom, relatives and friends. With a
compact and lightweight formation, not too many people will definitely make the
process of picking strawberries more convenient, smooth and comfortable.
After the two sides of the family have stabilized their sitting positions, at this
time an introduction to the side and to the side of hot tea is taking place.
After a week of tea, at this time, the representative of the groom's family will
have a few words, formally ask for the bride to take the bride back to the left
family and hold the next rites.

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Having received their permission from the bride's family, the groom now enters
the inner room to hand the flowers to the bride, takes the bride to the ancestral altar
and performs ancestral reporting rites.
After the successful wedding ceremony, the groom's family will bring the bride
home. The bride's family will take the bride home with the groom's family to
continue holding the next rites.
In the groom's family, the first thing that needs to be done is to be led by the
parents to the ancestral poetic table, to burn incense and report to the father about
the important events of his life.
After the ceremony is completed, the greeting of the groom's relatives is carried
out, and the rituals are held at the groom's house with relatives and friends
attending the wedding.
Those are the basic rites performed on a traditional wedding day for Vietnamese
weddings. Today, all doubts are guaranteed, but have been simplified to the
maximum extent so that each couple can organize their wedding more easily and
quickly. Ensure the meaning, with all necessary rituals but not too fussy, costly
time, cost and effort.
After the wedding takes place and the bride has returned to live at her husband's
house, at this time the mother-in-law will prepare a small ceremony for the couple
to bring back to the bride's house, to do a greeting ceremony to the bride's parents.
Usually this is called the re-face ceremony, or the second joy ceremony.
Usually, this ritual takes 1-3 days after the wedding. However, the specific
implementation time is still balanced, calculated based on the actual situation,
work and geographical location between the two houses to get the most appropriate
balance and adjustment.
2.2. Engagement

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Regarding marriage (on the content of the property agreement), there are still
two streams of different views, the first is that marriage can kill the romance of a
couple, for couples who really love each other, marriage is to stick together, share
all precious things such as life, body, children ... not just money. On the other
hand, if two carefree people come together without thinking about marriage, the
marriage is more likely to be happier and more lasting.
However, another opinion says that marriage limits divorce because it helps
couples overcome financial disagreement in the first place, but it is not easy to
raise money before marriage, but it helps to avoid marriage. get into trouble later,
while helping to limit the financial and emotional damage that a divorce (if it has
to happen) can bring. Many recommendations suggest that people with large assets
and getting married for the second time onwards should get married and that a
person should consider getting married before getting married if they own a
business, real estate, or Guess there will be an inheritance in the future, the income
is much higher than the other, having children from previous marriages, having old
parents to care for.
And one view is that the premarital marriage is a fair and progressive behavior.
It helps to plan private or common property in the marriage, helps reduce conflicts
and saves litigation costs in case of divorce ... at the same time, the marriage can
firmly strengthen the relationship. husband and wife relationship, because if you
clearly understand each other's opinions about money and assets, the marriage will
be more lasting. In addition, the pre-marriage property agreement also guarantees a
real marriage commitment, not self-interest and reduces divorce disputes.
In the UK, marriage is also known as a Financial Agreement and is recognized
in Law and because of its purely financial contents, handling individual property
before and during marriage upon divorce, spousal support during marriage and

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after divorce;… And according to the Law, husband and wife can cancel the
marriage and replace it with a new financial agreement that the two sides have
agreed upon divorce.
In Vietnam, currently there are no specific legal provisions on marriage, the
Law on Marriage and Family in this country only provides for all couples on the
basis of determining common and private property; Regarding the division of
property of husband and wife upon divorce ... and Civil Law, the Law stipulates
that each individual has the right to possess, useand disposeof property under his /
her ownership, as long as he does not harm the interests of others. On the other
hand, it is not contrary to traditional customs. arising out of this ambiguity so
having a point of view should be clear from the start so that emotions are lasting.
2.3. Proof of love
For a long time, lovers have used the couple as a token of their love. This
symbol sends people an unmistakable message about marriage and love. The ring
is usually very simple with a beautiful and timeless design and it also has a long
history dating back to ancient Egypt, about 4,800 years ago.
To the ancient Egyptians, rings were associated with a superpower, a pointless
circle with undying love. Later for the Greeks, when a girl accepted the ring, it also
meant that the girl was bound both mentally and legally and could no longer do it
herself. Today, we accept rings as part of a wedding ceremony, a forever bond
witnessed by both families and relatives.
It is not natural that the rings are always the same in design and material and are
used at the same time. When a pair of rings is inserted into the hand, it is a symbol
of the bond between two people, strong and lasting.

27
Wedding rings are usually worn on the 4th finger of the left hand. There are
many theories why this finger is attached to the symbol of marriage. Both the
ancient Greeks and Egyptians believed that a blood vessel called vena amoris in
Latin - ran directly from this finger to the heart. In ancient England, a groom would
slide a ring from the bride's finger to the index and middle fingers, saying "In the
name of father, son and god" and then, the groom Ring the ring on the empty
finger next to - advise the finger of the left hand.
For the custom of exchanging rings on wedding day, in most countries around
the world, wedding rings are considered as the last wedding gifts in the wedding
items. In Western countries, it is customary for the groom to give an engagement
ring to the bride before asking for a wedding, today Western culture also gradually
penetrates into countries in other continents, including Vietnam.
The wedding ring ceremony on a wedding day is the time when the bride and
groom give each other their pair of love rings officially. In the order of this
celestial ceremony, the groom will first put the wedding ring on the bride's hand,
and then the bride will also put the ring back on the groom. In European countries,
a wedding ring will be given by the pastor to the bride and groom as a solemn
ceremony.
After the wedding day, the bride and groom will continue to wear wedding
rings every day, this act is seen as both have fully devoted their love to each other.
Wearing a wedding ring in hand also partly proclaims to everyone that he is an
owner, his heart is only engraved with a single silhouette, hoping to receive
everyone's blessings for happiness. of my life.
A beautiful wedding ring is usually made of gold material, the ring is often
engraved with the name of the couple or their nicknames or the wedding day of the

28
couple's love anniversary. Over time, the wedding rings are designed to be more
sophisticated, sophisticated and full of elegance.
Nowadays, people often prefer wedding rings with diamond beads than gold
rings because of their immortality as proof of an eternal love of the couple.
CHAPTER 3: DIFFERENCES IN WEDDING CUSTOMS OF VIETNAM
AND ENGLAND
3.1. The views of marriage in the past
3.1.1. The English views
Commitments to kin relations among individuals have not changed much, but
the number of nuclear families has decreased due to increased rates of divorce and
unmarried cohabitation. The UK has the highest divorce rate in Europe. Not only
that, but many couples - mainly in their 20s and 30s - are living without marriage,
a situation that has grown 64 percent after a decade, with nearly half of all children
born out of wedlock. The proportion of single parents in the UK is therefore also
the highest in Europe and is seen as a serious social problem. Also contributing to
the decline in the number of nuclear families is the fact that people in general get
married later, many women want to focus on their careers, moving the childbirth to
the end of their 30s.
However, children are still the subject of a lot of attention and being given to
the best. Restaurants, tea rooms, concert halls, museums and other public places
welcome children with special food and play activities. Most children are
celebrated by their parents' great birthday. When a little bit older, like their peers
anywhere, British teenagers often "rebel", expressed through their clothes, their
way of speaking, the kind of music they listen to. No longer attached to their
parents, they often gather in public places such as shopping malls, parks or clubs,
using recreational facilities.

29
3.1.2. The Vietnamese views
Vietnamese marriage is different from Western marriage. Lineages or two
families. That is why, before the two got married, a long time ago, the two of them
had come back and lived intimately with each other. In very few cases, the two of
them did not know in advance the marriage of their descendants. This cross-border
communication gives the male or female family members more peace of mind
when they marry. Moreover, they are also aware that after marriage, they connect
as relatives to join each other. Both relatives discuss about the wedding day, how
to add or reduce the ceremony or reduce the gifts for the bride's family. In the past,
still heavy on "subject to registration", whether their family background was
commensurate with each other. These things seem cumbersome but very effective
for choosing "descendants like".
"Descendant descendants" is a meaningful sentence aimed at a wise and healthy
descendant, the Vietnamese in the past go from the experience of sowing seeds for
crops to the reality of cultivating buffalo. Farmers' experience shows that the seed
is good for many seeds, less pests and diseases, which leads to the "registration for
marriage" for couples to marry. Thus, in the past, the elders knew about the genetic
phenomenon, wicked parents could not create a gentle, cute child, more or less
contagious the cruelty of their parents. Ancient people used to say, "What tree
produces fruit", so marriage is important for the whole life of a person and for their
family as well. Being picky is also an important task for future generations, in
terms of body, it is recommended to choose: "Women wear the waistband of bees,
they are good at pampering their husbands and well-nourished", for the family,
they choose: Be beggar in the whole body, be the son-in-law of many children ", in
addition there is another standard of virtue:" streak beat beauty".
3.2. The place of wedding

30
3.2.1. In Vietnam
In ancient Vietnam, weddings were often held at home to show intimacy,
affection and add emotional bond. Nowadays, couples often choose a luxurious
and spacious restaurant or hotel to invite guests to their weddings.
It is also an expression of
integration with modern life. There
are still some places to keep the
tradition held at home and the cultural
houses of their place to keep the
culture, but usually in rural areas.
3.2.2. In England
In England, wedding places are very various. Weddings are raditionally held in
places of worship. Churches, chapels and temples are usual venues to get married.
A wedding venue is often chosen because of its significance to the bride or groom.
It could be a church where one attended growing up or a parish church officiated
by a favorite priest. Some couples pick a place of worship because of its excellent
artistic or historical attributes. Other couples are more adventurous and pick an
assortment of venue to exchange their vows. Some wants to hold their wedding
outdoors. A pretty garden, the sea, a public park are beautiful places that will make
a wedding memorable. Other couples go out with their creativity to make their
wedding unique. Sometimes, a hobby or interest will naturally dictate what
wedding location is most ideal for a couple. Some couples have gotten married
airborne, under the sea or up the mountains. There is no limit to where a wedding
can be held. As long as a place is special for both the bride and groom, any place is
the perfect place to hold a wedding.
Wedding flowers are decorated all over the place from the entrance to the guest
sitting area. The road which the bride walk is scattered the red carpet and fresh

31
flowers. Wedding flowers are scattered by a small girl preceding the English bride
and her wedding party. She and the bride will walk together to the wedding chapel
or the wedding site. The flowered path and symbolic walk express hope for the
bride's path through life to be happy and lovely.
3.3. The wedding time
3.3.1. In England
Although today, most weddings take place on Saturdays, in the past this was
seen as taboo. Fridays is also an unlucky day, especially Friday the 13th. A famous
antiquity post advises people to get married only in the first half of the week:
Monday is Wealth Day (Monday for wealth)
Tuesday is Health Day (Tuesday for health)
Wednesday is the best day (Wednesday the best day of all)
Thursday is loss day (Thursday for losses)
Friday is the day of suffering (Friday for Crosses)
Saturday is the end (Saturday for no luck at all)
May has always been considered an unlucky month for a wedding for many
reasons. During the Pagan period, summer begins with the Beltan festival (the
festival on the first of May), which is celebrated happily and jubilantly. So this is
not the right time to start a couple's life. In Roman times, festivals of the dead and
the festivities of the white gods take place in May. People also avoid getting
married during the Lent fasting season, which takes place in March.
June is a very lucky month for getting married, as it is named after the god
Juno, the Roman god of Love and marriage. In general, the whole summer is
considered a good time to get married because it is believed that sunlight is good
for fertility. In Scotland, it is a very interesting custom for the bride to "walk with
the sun" in order to have good luck. The bride has to walk from the east to the west

32
of the church and then continue around the church three times before the wedding
is held.
3.3.2. In Vietnam
Choosing the wedding days in Vietnam is a very important unwritten custom
that requires many considerations and it is complicated. In Vietnam, when a family
starts to prepare their children's wedding, fortune tellers, Buddhists or Spiritual
leaders play a prominent role in choosing auspicious wedding dates and
determining the bride and groom's compatibility. They usually use astrology to
predict couple's future. Astrology influences the couple's life and is based on their
zodiac sign. The fortune tellers offer various horoscope modules for future
predictions. No traditional Vietnamese marriage is created without consulting
horoscope and astrology. Consulting the village matchmaker used to be the first
sign that a Vietnamese man was considering a wife, but this tradition has largely
faded with time. However, astrology and horoscope are still influential in
determining their course of a marriage proposal. Not only are the bride and the
groom matched according to their astrological specification, but astrologers also
suggest the dates of their marriage ceremony and the proposal ceremony. No
specific calendar governs which dates are lucky for Vietnamese wedding
proposals. Instead, auspicious dates are determined by the hours and days that the
bride and groom were born. Another way to determine an auspicious wedding date
in Vietnamese culture is to start with the spouse's zodiac animal sign (Rat, Buffalo,
Tiger, Cat, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Chicken, Dog, Pig),
distinguished by their respective years of birth. To start with, the couple must not
get married in a year of the animal with which theirs conflict. Dragon, monkey,
snake, pig are the ages that have many conflicts. Vietnamese people usually avoid
combining these ages in marriage. couple may not be of the same zodiac animal

33
but will be similar enough to distinguish the years in which they can marry.
Besides, Vietnamese people also believe in five factors (mệnh) that they think it
creates the Earth. They also think it affects their marriage. Five factors include:
Metal (Kim), Wood (Mộc), Water (Thủy), Fire (Hỏa), Earth (Thổ). The years
which you were born are divided into 5factors. Example, if you were born in 1995,
you carry Fire factor or you were born in 1990, you carry Earth factor. These
factors can support or destroy the others. As a result, Vietnamese people are quite
careful when choosing the partner. Indeed, they believe that marrying to the person
who opposite with your fate or incompatible with your years, your marriage will
not lengthen and you will get a lot of troubles. However, Vietnamese people also
have the ways that they think can dispel the unlucky things when you marry the
inappropriate person.
About the wedding time, Vietnamese people like celebrating in August. The
number eight is lucky in Asian cultures because it sounds like the word for wealth
or fortune. Furthermore, fall and winter are the time in which many Vietnamese
people get married. There are many reasons that why Vietnamese people often
choose these seasons to celebrate their wedding. Firstly, its weather is very
comfortable and cool in comparison with the summer. Secondly, in this time, the
harvest season also end. Vietnam is an agricultural country, so in these months,
people have also finished the harvest and the work also is reduced. Hence, they
have money and time to get married. Vietnamese people avoid getting married in
April. On the one hand, the word for the number "four" is similar to that for
"death," so bad luck is associated with April 4th, the fourth day of the fourth
month. On the other hand, the temperature in this month is very high and the
weather is very hot and has scorching sun because Vietnam is in tropical area. The
people who marry in April may be for the personal reasons.

34
Bùi Xuân My & Phạm Minh Thảo (1989). Tục cưới hỏi của người Việt. NXB
Văn hoá Thông tin.
Phan Ngọc (2004). Bản sắc văn hoá Việt. NXB Văn học.
To summarize, the English or Vietnamese people are extremely serious about
choosing the wedding day. Both two countries have their own superstitious beliefs.
Although they have different date when choosing day for the wedding, both
countries believe in the support or the ruling of the gods for their own wedding.
They also believe in the appropriateness of selecting a mate in accordance with the
old concepts. However, this concept is not a serious problem anymore, people
believe in love and their partner rather than the superstitions.
3.4. Traditional wedding dress
3.4.1. In England
Most brides today are dressed in
white, showing their chastity. This
white wedding dress tradition dates
back to the rich in the 16th century.
Queen Victoria supported this custom
by wearing a white wedding dress.
But before this tradition begins, brides
often wear only their best dresses.
The bride cannot make her own wedding dress, and the groom cannot see the
bridein her wedding gown before the wedding takes place.
3.4.2. In Vietnam
In the past, the wedding dress of the bride in the North was a three-piece
overcoat with a blouse. Inside, there were two pink and blue or yellow and aqua-
colored blouse and then a white blouse. The same is a cherry blossombib with
white silk. Car oak belts or black fabric, all 3 belts have tassels at the top.

35
In that period, the make-up was quite simple, the head was only a scarf, the pin
was inserted, the butterfly was covered with silver, the hair was a ponytail, and the
head wore a cap.
As for the groom, the costumes of the 3 regions are the same, which are the
pleated or blue robes, white pants, fiber pipes, bun pockets and a blue scarf, and
embroideries.
(Lý Khắc Cung (1995). Hà Nội văn hoá và phong tục. NXB Thanh niên.)
Recent years years, the costume has been changed again, when families can
afford to wear long, brocade robes with phoenix motifs, white pants and red or
yellow velvet legs. follow carefully.
The head is covered with a blue or pale color turban. The neck can be with gold
bracelets or necklaces, with bracelets on. This outfit is often similar to the queen's
attire in the palace.
The later, the change in lifestyle as well as in costumes became more because
there was the invasion of Western culture. The bride is adorned with lipstick and
has a white cloth rose in front of her left chest, holding a bouquet of white
eyebrows, expressing the innocence of the girl.
The bride will choose white, red silk or brocade dresses, while the groom is
more simple, at that time the groom was tied with a tie or bow on his neck, wearing
shoes. western, wearing a suit.
Since 1954, the Vietnamese nation's costumes and wedding ceremonies have
also been simplified.

36
In big cities, the bride wears a white or red Ao Dai, wears white pants, has
high heels, flowers in hand, hair is pulled or pulled in a bun, and the groom still
wears a tie and shoes in a suit.
In the countryside, the bride wears a new white shirt or a bra, black pants wear
new sandals, the groom wears a new shirt, casual pants, boots or new sandals.
Nowadays fantastical tunic is returning to be a trend of choice for couples who
want their wedding to look traditional with a touch of modernity. Each period had
different wedding costumes to suit the lifestyle of that period and each ethnic
group had their own customs and costumes.
3.5. Gifts for engagement
In Vietnam, the bride's house will receive thirty betel leaves from the groom's
house and the casket will be married. After the groom's father and the bride's father
introduce relatives and the attendees, the groom's mother will take thirty betel nuts
in turn. The first dozen betel nuts were for the ritual of questioning. The next dozen
betel nuts were for the wedding ceremony. And a third dozen betel nuts are for the
loading ceremony.
Next will be the ceremony to receive the casket of the groom's family. The
indispensable offerings in the casket of the groom's family include rice cake, susu
cake, lotus jam, tea, wine, betel nut, tobacco ... and added sticky rice, roasted pig.
The interrogation cask may consist of 5, 7, 9 or 11 caskets, but must be an odd
number and the offerings in the caskets must be a multiple of 2. These fruit platters
will be taken by the bride's family to the ancestral altar and burned for incense.
ancestor. A special thing in the engagement ceremony is that the groom's family
needs to prepare 3 money envelopes (often called the black ceremony) for the

37
bride's grandmother's house, the bride's grandmother's house and the other one to
burn incense on the altar. ancestor. The amount in the envelope will depend on the
house of the girl requested.
3.6. Other differences
3.6.1. Vows
The oath is a very important part of the British wedding ceremony. After the
bride and groom entered the chapel and stood on the stage for the pastor to read the
vows. And then the two will give their vows to each other in a sincere and
emotional way. In Vietnam, usually the groom and the bride will not make a vow
and instead they will drink wine to show each other that they will be with the other
for life.
3.6.2. Bridesmaid
Bridesmaids often dress like brides to distract bad spirits. The first shopping
item. The person who buys the first item after the wedding is the owner of the
family. So the groom often buys the bridesmaids' head brooch immediately after
the wedding to secure their position. The old custom required bridesmaids because
of forced marriage, determined by their parents, in many places there was child
marriage, usually "A woman from a cross to a six-year-old", what did her husband
know when he was thirteen years old? where! Therefore the bride must have a
guide. The person who leads the bride is called the bridesmaid.
In the past of Vietnam, the bridesmaid must be the aunt, the aunt or close sister
of the bride, capable of persuading, drawing for the bride, respected and admired
by the bride, entrusted by the bride's parents. A bridesmaid must be lucky, good,
good-natured, good-natured, good-natured, a healthy and obedient daughter, a

38
peaceful family, so that she can pass her experience as a bride, mother, wife to you,
and grandchildren. The bridesmaids sometimes have to stay five or seven days
later to help the bride feel less sad and to show her experience. Usually the
bridesmaids also return to the bride-in-law during the re-ceremony.
Weddings in the old days must be proper, no rules, and also do not have the
word "Groomsmen". Weddings today, in many places, there are bridesmaids,
groomsmen, and there are five or six weddings where the best man, woman, and
unmarried. Perhaps mainly for the bride to add friends, the groom to add
pregnancy. Or is it that the groom today is more shy than before, so there must be
someone to guide him. Or the previous wedding often gives birth to many
weddings later, so it is necessary to take care of training future brides and grooms.
3.6.3. Veils
The veil protects the bride from bad spirits According to old superstitions, the
bride on the wedding day is easily attacked by bad spirits so the veil is intended to
protect the bride.
The veil became popular in England in the 1800s to show humility and chastity.
During weddings in other European countries, the bride wears a veil. The groom is
not allowed to see the bride's face until after the wedding.
According to the Vietnamese belief in ancient times, the marriage ceremonies
always have a close connection with religious rituals, so the veil has been
considered a symbol of purity and purity. and submissive. The act of taking the
daughter's hand into the ceremony, handing the daughter hand to the son-in-law is
seen as the transfer of the bride from the father to the husband. And the husband
then pulled the veil as if to "mark" that "she is mine". After all the spiritual
meanings of the ancients, the veil was also created to obstruct the bride's vision,

39
prevent the bride from escaping on the wedding day. In the old days, arranged
marriages happened quite a lot, so in order to prevent unintended incidents from
happening, like the escaping bride, this veil was invented. Even the face veil is
sewn long for the same purpose. In addition, the veil will have the effect of a fire
that helps ward off and stop demons.
3.6.4. Wedding cake
Today, cutting wedding cake is a familiar move in weddings. Both husband and
wife cut the wedding cake to show that they will share their future together.
In the old days, people used to throw a lot of cakes at the bride like
we throw confetti today. British people often put a ring in the wedding cake. The
guest who eats a ring of cake will be happy for the whole year. The single guest
who puts a piece of cake under the pillow when he goes to bed will soon find a
lover, while bridesmaids do so will dream of their future husband.
Addition to the wedding cake must be on the wedding day in Vietnam, there are
two typical types of cakes on the wedding day of “BánhPhuThê” and “BánhCốm”.
BánhCốm in Hang Than Street, Hanoi are famous for being genuine sweet and
pure rice cakes with the smell of new rice. If the rice cake in the past was an
indispensable specialty in the formal occasions of the Hanoi people, now it has
become familiar in the wedding day tray in all regions. The soft rice cake, the
sweet taste, mingled with the aroma of com, of green beans symbolizes the
integrity and fullness of the bride and groom on the great occasion of humanlife.
BánhPhuThê (also called xuxuê
or susê) cake is an indispensable cake
in the wedding ceremony. The
cakeconsists of two parts representing
yin and yang, husband and wife. The
filling inside is rich with green beans
and the aroma of coconut represents

40
the wife. The transparent outer shell is lumpy, grated coconut or papaya embracing
the main core is the husband. Traditionally, the wedding platter needs to prepare
105 cakes with the meaning of hoping for the couple to always stick with a
"hundred years of happiness" like a fragrant cake.
One more thing, the areca nut and the betel leaf are such important symbols of
love and marriage that in Vietnamese the phrase "matters of betel and areca"
(chuyện trầu cau) is synonymous with marriage. The tradition of chewing areca
nuts starts the talk between the groom's parents and the bride's parents about the
young couple's marriage.
Therefore, the leaves and juices are
used ceremonially in Vietnamese
weddings. The folk tale explaining the
origin of this Vietnamese tradition is a
good illustration of the belief that the
combination of areca nut and the betel
leaf is ideal to the point they are
practically inseparable, like an
idealized married couple.
Once upon a time, a feudal official has two sons named Tan and Lang who look
such similar as twin brothers that outsiders cannot distinguish between the two.
When they are seventeen and eighteen years old, the father dies. Their brotherhood
becomes stronger and stronger. As they no longer get education from the father,
both enroll into the school of Mr. Luu. They study hard and are respectful, thus
winning the teacher’s heart. The teacher has a beautiful daughter aged 16, and her
beauty is far more than any girls in the village.
The girl sees that these two men are both handsome and gentle. She falls in
love and wants to pick Tan, the elder brother. However, she cannot distinguish the
two. One day, as her family cooks a soup, she takes a bowl and one pair of

41
chopsticks to the brothers. She then watches them, and notices that the younger
man invites his brother first. She then recognizes the older brother and asks her
father to marry him.
Since marriage, their brotherhood is not as strong as before. Tan treats him
less intimately. Lang is very sad but Tan does not know that.
One day, they get home late at night after a hard day in the farm. Lang gets
into the house first. As he crosses the gate, his sister in law hugs him as she thinks
it is Tan. Lang yields aloud, making both embarrassed. At that moment, Tan steps
in and thinks that his brother is cheating him. Their relationship becomes less and
less intimate since then.
One afternoon, Lang is home alone overlooking the distant forest, and feels
desolate and sad. He stands up and leaves.
He goes and goes, until he reaches the forest in the front. He follows the trail
that leads into the centre of the forest. It gets dark, the moon is rising yet he keeps
walking. At the stream of blue and deep waters, he cannot wade through, and has
to rest on the bank. He cries and cries. Late at night, when thick fog is falling
down more and more, cold mist gradually absorbs into his flesh. He dies while still
sitting impassively and transforms into a lime stone.
Getting home, Tan could not find his brother and starts to go out and look for
him without telling his wife. He also follows the trail to the forest. He reaches the
stream and could not cross it. He leans against the stone crying and crying. Thick
fog is falling down while he is crying hard. He faints out and dies, turning into a
tree growing by the stone.
At home, his wife does not see her husband. She in a hurry gets out in order
to find him and follows the trail deep into the woods. She walks farther and farther
and finally reaches the deep-water stream. She is no longer able to walk. She sits

42
leaning on the tree by the stone and starts crying. At midnight, she dies and
transforms into a vine wrapping tightly the tree.
Gradually the story is known to
villagers. One day King Hung passes
by the place. People tell the King of
the story and bring him to the stream.
The King tells people to try to take
leaves of the vines and fruit in the tree
and grind them together. He tastes the
paste and finds it delicious.
He spits water on the rock and it turns red. He then recommends eating this during
wedding ceremonies to wish strong ties and belief for couples. People then call the
tree the areca tree, and the vine betel tree. They get part of the stone and bake it for
foam in order to eat with betel leaves, areca nuts. Their mouth turns fragrant, with
red lips.
The relationship of the three is still strong even after life. Therefore in any
meetings and engagement of the Vietnamese people, matters of areca nuts and
betel leaves are important, the start of a new strong relation (Therefore,
Vietnamese people have a say “Mieng trau la dau cau chuyen”). Chewing betel has
become inherent process of the Vietnamese nation in any ceremonies however
small and large they are. For long time, it has become part of wedding ceremonies,
and is still practiced throughout the country. Areca nuts and betel leaves become
the symbol of inseparable marriage.
3.6.5. Wedding flowers
Confetti is used as wedding
flowers in the UK. Confetti in Italian
means the candy that Italians use to
bounce newlyweds when they come

43
out of church, as we use confetti
today. In many places, people use
both raisins and buttons, petals, and
grains.
In Vietnam, brides often choose bright and colorful flowers to hold their hands
on the great holiday of their lives. These flowers are often chosen because of the
elegance and luck that they bring to the bride and groom's sentence. Roses are the
most used flower in weddings in Vietnam, not only because this is a flower
symbolizing love, but also because of the variety of this flower. Sunflowers are
also used quite a lot in wedding ceremonies in Vietnam. Sunflowers are used
mainly as hand-held bouquets for the bride during the wedding ceremony.
Hydrangeas are also one of the flowers used a lot in wedding ceremonies. Just
like roses, hydrangeas can also be used as a wedding flower decoration and are
also perfect for making bridal bouquets for the bride. Peony is always the first
choice for making hand flowers and decorative flowers in luxury weddings,
because this flower possesses a luxurious beauty that no other flower can match.
In Vietnam, it is a custom that when two weddings meet, they give each other
flowers. This action is quite strange to foreign friends but is very popular in
Vietnam, especially in the North.
Because according to folk beliefs
in some provinces in this region,
when two weddings meet, giving
wedding flowers (maybe two brides
or two grooms) will help dispel bad
luck and help the love affair. husband
and wife are strong.
After the ceremony, Vietnamese and British brides will toss the wedding
bouquet over their shoulders behind the unmarried girls. The girl who catches the
bouquet will be the next bride. The groom will throw the bride's stockings on the
young unmarried. Whoever caught it will be the next groom.

44
3.6.6. Superstition in weddings
The bride and groom are not allowed to meet each other on the wedding day
except at the altar. The bride is not allowed to wear her full wedding dress before
the wedding day. To be lucky, the bride has to be busy with something borrowed,
something blue, something old and something new (something borrowed,
something blue, something old and something new). The groom must carry the
bride through the doorstep.
In Vietnam, there are many taboos before and during weddings. Typically there
are the following 20 things
Abstinence should not marry in the Golden year
Golden Year is the year considered by the age of the bride with the age of
1,3,6,8. According to old folk beliefs, when the Golden Year is long, when getting
married, there will be many risks in the relationship between husband and wife, the
marriage is not happy, easy to dispute, the couple should argue with each other. In
the event that the wedding year is in the long Golden Year, the wedding should be
held once the Winter solstice has passed.
Abstain from getting married in bad hours, days, and months
This is one of the most common concepts in Vietnamese weddings. Ancient
people said that wedding is a great thing in life. Therefore, it needs to be held on
beautiful days, the future life will be quiet, favorable, husband and wife have many
luck and happiness. Therefore, the term "good day, good month" was born and
understood as the right time to hold a wedding. Choosing a good day is a very
important thing in a wedding ceremony.
Currently, the wedding day is usually celebrated on the Zodiac day, which is a
beautiful day, abstaining from the days of Assassination, Tam Tai, and Tam
Nuong. Folk believe that these three groups of days are great days, and should be

45
avoided for a harmonious and peaceful life. In addition, the wedding day is also the
day to be held early, avoiding the "same day and month". Therefore, usually the
wedding season is usually in the winter or autumn, limiting the wedding in
December.
Abstinence in eating day
When the groom's family conducts interrogation procedures, the bride needs to
sit in her bedroom and limit her direct appearance. Until the two sides of the family
have finished talking, the groom will only pick up the bride to invite relatives. This
is a very interesting old Vietnamese custom. If the bride appears before the groom
offers it, it will be considered impoli/te and ungrateful.
In addition, in a few localities in the North, when the groom's family asks for
the casket, the bride's family needs to do a ceremony to tear the areca-casket, break
the areca nuts in the casket to eat and worship the ancestors. This job is absolutely
forbidden to use knives because it is thought that knives will make the future
relationship between husband and wife divided.
Abstinence must not be negligent or neglect the preparation of worship articles
Not only during Tet holiday and the wedding is also an occasion, but both sides
of the family must prepare the altar in a decent way. Depending on economic and
customary conditions, the arrangement of the altar may be different, but they must
ensure that the altar is clean, beautifully decorated and indispensable with items
including: boiled chicken, sticky rice, wine, fruit, votive ... The main wedding
should be celebrated first at the ancestor altar with enough incense to sign fruit,
wine, medicine,….
Abstain from getting married before the engagement ceremony is held

46
It is considered illegal to invite a wedding before the engagement ceremony is
held. Normally, the groom's family will come to the wedding ceremony and
discuss together, set the wedding date based on the consent of the bride's family.
Nowadays, in order to save time and money, many localities often organize a
meal and wedding party in a few days together. This is also difficult to avoid
inviting before the ceremony so sympathy is allowed.
Taboo to get married when the family is in mourning
When the house is in mourning, getting married is considered a special taboo.
According to Vietnamese folk beliefs, children have to mourn their parents for
three years, grandchildren to mourn their grandparents for a year before the
mourning period and at this time the family can have joy. Therefore, choosing a
wedding time is relatively difficult during the family mourning period.
This gives rise to a form of "funeral wedding". It means that when someone's
family is sick, about to die, the groom's family immediately comes to ask for a
wedding, the wedding is then conducted very quickly and neatly for the two young
people to officially marry. Usually, when the wedding is a funeral, the scale of the
wedding is small and also less exciting.
Mother abstinence is not allowed to take her daughter to her husband's house
In the procession of the bride, it is important to know that the mother cannot
take her daughter to her husband's house. This concept stems from the very thought
that a breakup or repression will make the bride ask to leave home with her
mother. At the same time it also implies that the daughter-in-law and mother-in-
law should have certain respect for their mother-in-law. Normally, on the day of
the procession of the bride, the biological father will be the one who takes the bride
to her husband's house.
Mother-in-law is not allowed to stand in front of the door to welcome her bride

47
This practice is nowhere to be maintained, but it is actually one of the most
interesting taboo beliefs. Specifically, when the daughter-in-law arrives at the
husband's house during the wedding, the mother-in-law does not stand at the door,
but needs to flee. When the daughter-in-law finished the family ceremony, the
mother-in-law appeared.
In addition, with the conception that the daughter-in-law, although entering the
house, it is necessary to know from above and below and the mother-in-law still
takes control of the house, so when the bride-in-law procession has just arrived, the
mother-in-law must hold a lime pot or a set of keys to hide. go. According to old
beliefs, the lime pot or a set of keys symbolizes property and authority in the
family.
Abstain from mother-in-law to pick up daughter-in-law
Mother-in-law was not allowed to attend the wedding reception. Before that, the
groom's mother was only allowed to go with one of her closest relatives to the
bride's house to have a ceremony to ask for the bride. Then when the groom's
family came to pick up the bride, the mother-in-law had to avoid her presence. It is
said that in order to avoid conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in
the future, it is best that the mother-in-law should not go to pick up the bride.
Abstain from mother-in-law touching daughter-in-law when theprocession has just
arrived hom
When the procession of the bride has just arrived home, the mother-in-law has
to take a lime pot or a bunch of keys to hide when the daughter-in-law enters the
door. Lime vase or key cluster symbolizes family fortune. This means that
although the mother-in-law welcomes her daughter-in-law into the house, she still
holds the right to control the house.

48
Discouraging forgetting to spread needles and change, salted rice, betel and areca
along the road
During the strawberry procession, Vietnamese people often have the custom of
spreading needles, precursors, rice, salt, and betel nuts along the way when they
return to their husband's house. When the procession passes through areas such as
bridges, crossroads, intersections, 5-way junctions, the bride must throw away salt
rice, needles, change, betel and areca. This is a custom carried out with the
expectation that the upcoming journey of the couple will always be smooth, rich,
happy and lucky, while chasing away the bad luck, the devil follows the bride to
her husband's house.
Abstinence from choosing the bride and groom's bedspreaders
The person who covers the bride and groom's bed is also very important.
Because, according to the folk conception of the bed-sheeter, the bed-sheeter has a
significant impact on the married life of the two young people. It is best to choose
married women, children who have enough "good taste, good taste" and
prosperous business. If the mother-in-law meets the above standards, the bride and
groom's bed can be laid down as a mother's blessing for two children.
Abstain from strangers who arbitrarily break into the bride's room
After cleaning, spreading the mattress, decorating the bride's bed, the groom
usually won't let anyone visit this area. After the wedding, the bride and groom
will be the first to lie on the wedding bed to break the bed and experience the
sweetness and happiness.
Abstinence when welcoming the bride
When the bride goes home with her husband, it is absolutely forbidden to look
back, but to go straight ahead. Because if she still turns to look, others will think

49
that this is a bride, very difficult to teach and also do not worry about her husband's
chores being thoughtful.
In many places, the itinerary to pick up the bride is also planned with one way
and when returning to another route to avoid the unfortunate will follow home.
Mourning people are not allowed to attend the wedding
People who are in mourning are advised not to attend the wedding because they
may bring bad luck and fortune to the homeowner.
Abstinence should not wear a wedding ring before the wedding takes place
Ancient people thought that a wedding ring was an important thing and was
only given when two people were married. Therefore, absolutely should not wear it
when the wedding takes place.
It is forbidden for the pregnant bride to enter the house from the main door
When returning to her husband's house, if the bride is pregnant, she will not be
allowed to enter from the main door, but must go around the back door to enter. In
the case of an annotator with no background, the strawberries will have to step
over a roasted locust with embers, the function of dispelling ugly controls.
According to some interpretations, a pregnant bride going to her husband's house
by the front door will make the groom's family do not do well in the future. But
this concept today has been accepted more favorably and is somewhat accepted in
modern society.
Taboo those who are "heavy" not to enter the wedding room
The wedding room is an important place for the couple to start a new life.
Therefore, the following people are forbidden to enter the wedding room,
including: widows, pregnant women, married people. broken people, infertile
children, bereaved people ... to avoid unfavorable things, unlucky for the new
couple.

50
Taboo not to leave bad items in the wedding room
Such items include broken objects, wine, thorny plants (cactus), decorative
dolls, old items, memorabilia from an ex, pictures of other people, weapons, Sharp
objects are not allowed in the wedding room. Because according to the concept it
affects the harmony of the couple. In terms of feng shui, it creates yin, not good for
starting a new life, you need to pay attention.
Taboo using the old bed as a wedding bed
The newlywed bed needs to buy a new bed (do not use the old bed) to avoid
future misfortunes.
The person who spreads the flower mat for the wedding bed must ask a lucky
person (a middle-aged woman with a warm and happy family, having enough sons
and daughters) to help spread the flower mat, so that she can have a healthy baby. ,
easy to raise.
It is taboo not to let others sit on the wedding bed because that will take all the
fortune and bring bad luck to the couple.
Phan Kế Bính (1990). Việt Nam phong tục. NXB Văn học.
3.6.7. Rice
Rice is the most influential factor in Vietnamese traditional culture. In Vietnam,
people do not use rice throw at bride and groom but in England it is different. After
the wedding ceremony, the guests throw rice (or flower petals, confetti, birdseed)
at the bride because rice symbolizes fertility. Whatever the guest chooses to throw
on the bride represent that they are showering her with the good things in life. That
strange tradition come from the ancient Romans, and its mean to wish fertility for
the newlyweds. Originally, Romans threw wheat, but soon afterwards rice became
a universal symbol for fertility. In some versions of the tradition, the rice or wheat

51
is eaten after it is thrown, which means as a compliment to the bride. In contrast,
throwing rice symbolizes a "full pantry" in Vietnam. For Vietnamese people, rice
plays a major role in funeral traditions so they usually throw or scattered rice to
ward off evil spirits. After all, rice is very extremely important food to each
country. It not only is a major source of food for the maintenance of life, but it also
brings extremely strong spiritual meaning.
3.6.7. Wedding photos
Wedding photographs are one of the most important elements of the wedding day.
In years to come, they will provide treasured memories of the wedding day. Taking
“professional” photographs at a wedding is not simple activity. Careful planning is
essential to ensure you obtain the photographs you desire, without guests waiting
around unnecessarily for the perfect shot. The Vietnamese take photograph all the
time in their wedding, even when guests are having parties. Vietnamese take photo
from when they go to the bride's home, the groom house and ceremony. They think
it is special event of their life so they want to record everything. The wedding
photo album is made well and carefully. But in England, wedding photographs are
one of the most important elements of your wedding day. In years to come they

52
will provide treasured memories of the day. Taking “professional” photographs at
a wedding is not something to be entered into lightly. Careful planning is essential
to ensure you obtain the photographs you desire, without guests waiting around
unnecessarily for the perfect shot.
There are a number of traditional photographs that are expected. You may also
require some less formal shots. These go under the heading of 'Documentary',
'Reportage' or 'Photojournalism'. It is recommended you decide on your
preferences in advance, informing the photographer and those involved of your
intentions.
Here is a list of the more traditional wedding photographs.
Bride and Groom.
Bride and Groom with Both Sets of Parents.
Bride and Groom with Immediate Families.
Bride and Groom with Bridesmaids, Ushers and Best Man.
Bride and Bridesmaids.
Groom, Ushers and Best Man.
Bride and Groom with Bride's Friends.
Bride and Groom with Groom's Friends.
Bride and Groom with All Guests.
You may also want to include
The Bride preparing.
The Bride and Bride's Father arriving at Church.
The Groom and Best Man at the Church.
Cutting the Cake
3.6.8. Face-to-face ceremony

53
Northerners in Vietnam often have one more ritual after the wedding
ceremony, which is the ceremony after the wedding. The reunion ceremony is held
with family members and is held warmly. The ceremony shows the filial piety of
the bride, groom and the bride's family, even though they are married, they still do
not forget to be filial to their biological parents. At the same time, this is also an
opportunity for the groom's family to show their respect and care for the bride's
family.
Usually this ceremony will be held 1 to 2 days after the wedding ceremony or
after the bride and groom return from their honeymoon.
3.7. Summary:
To sum up, this chapter has in turn dealt with the popular wedding customs in
both England and Vietnam. First of all, before the wedding is given. We can see
that, both the Vietnamese and the Americans get married when they are very
young. Because of the difference between the two nations’ cultures and lifestyles,
each nation has its own ways of preparation for weddings. Secondly, wedding
ceremony is presented, the different steps of the two countries’ wedding ceremony
are described. Another point is the customs after a wedding which are very
exciting to study. Lastly, symbols of wedding are discussed.
PART III: CONCLUSION
1. Conclusion
Wedding is one of the most important and meaningful events in each person'
life. In different cultures, wedding are held in many different ways. In this paper,
to help people understand more about the culture of England and Vietnam, the

54
similarities and differences between English and Vietnamese wedding customs is
given. Firstly, the similar characteristic between Vietnamese and English wedding
is that in the past, Vietnamese and English marriage are determined by the parents
of the bride and groom. The bride and groom were engaged when they are small.
Secondly, for both the Vietnamese and English wedding, the engagement is the
most important ceremony because it marks the beginning of a marriage. Lastly,
Vietnamese people and the English also believe in the superstitions. They have
many superstitions practices. Through cultural exchanges between two countries,
Vietnam has learnt the customs of exchange wedding rings as well as the customs
about wedding flowers. Besides, both Vietnamese and the English are have the
same rule that the groom will not see the bride before wedding ceremony. Because
they believed that if they do this, they will get the bad luck and their marriage will
not last longer. The next chapter focuses on the differences of wedding customs in
Vietnam and England. Although there are many similarities, the wedding of
England and Vietnam also have fundamental dissimilarities. The first distinctions
between England and Vietnam is the views of marriage in the past. While the
English views of marriage in the past is quite opened, the perspective of the
Vietnamese is quite rigid and traditional. In addition, for the Vietnamese people
and the English, the wedding time is considered thoroughly because it may affects
the marriage of couples in the future. "Áo dài" is traditional outfit in Vietnamese
wedding but the white wedding dresses and veil is the favorite outfits of the
English bride. Moreover, the custom of inviting guests also have the difference
about the time and the kinds of invitation. While Vietnamese people like going to
each house to invite the guests, the English would like to give an email or a phone
call for guests. Although the structure of a wedding in both two countries are quite
similar, there are some different detail activities and rituals. Furthermore, the kind

55
of the gifts and the meaning of throwing rice which are often used in wedding are
completely different. In addition, Vietnam people often give money to the bride
and groom whereas, the English guests send the things which the young couple
need for their house such as: house decoration, chairs, wardrobe... Throwing rice in
English wedding give the good luck but doing it in Vietnam, it will give the
unlucky because it is a symbol of the funeral. In addition, Vietnamese people like
taking photograph during the wedding but the English only take a photo after the
wedding ceremony. Moreover, the English often use the white wedding cake, the
traditional cake in Vietnam is the conjugal cake or "Bánh Phu Thê". Besides, the
English also have an interesting custom which the groom often carry their bride
over the door since they think it will help bride avoid the bad soul or ghost. In
contrast, Vietnamese people do not have this custom but they have the fascinating
thing. They have the special gifts for the bride's family in the engagement. The
groom brings a lot of caskets to ask the permission to marry his bride. It is one of
the essential rituals in Vietnamese wedding. Although Vietnamese ow to each
other like English people, they bride and groom do not give the are given the
significant speech from their parents and their guests. Everyone bless the
newlywed will be happy forever. However, because of the short time and limited
knowledge, the study still has many shortcomings. The biggest limitation is that
only some parts of the definition and the view of marriage are mentioned.
Therefore, the thesis has left room for further discussion, criticism, and
improvement by those who concern. All remarks, comments, suggestions, and
contribution are deeply welcome and highly appreciated.
2. Recommendations
Wedding is one of the most important and meaningful events in each person’
life. In different cultures, weddings are held in many different ways. In this paper,

56
to help people understand more about the culture of England and Vietnam, the
comparison between England and Vietnamese wedding customs is given.
Firstly, the definitions of culture and marriage are presented in Chapter One
of Part Two. There are also the classification of culture and the England and
Vietnamese views of marriage. Evidently, it is not easy to bring out an exact
definition of culture and marriage. Basing on laws and attitudes of each nation is a
good way to find out a suitable definition for each item.
Secondly, the comparison between British and Vietnamese wedding customs is
given in Chapter Two of Part Two. Can be seen, at the wedding of the two
countries there are some similarities. However, because of cultural differences,
people of the two countries organize weddings in different ways, which makes up
their own cultural characteristics. As we can see, in Vietnam, red is usually the
main color of weddings while in the England the main color is usually white. As
for the guests, in Vietnam, they will usually invite more numbers than the England.
In terms of time, the British usually only held for one day, while in Vietnam the
wedding will take place within two days or more. Wedding symbols such as gifts,
rings, flowers and others are shown at the end.
However, because of the short time and limited knowledge, the study still has
many shortcomings. The biggest limitation is that only some parts of superstition
are mentioned. Therefore, the thesis has left much room for further discussion,
criticism, and improvement by those who concern. All remarks, comments,
suggestions, and contribution are deeply welcome and highly appreciated.
References

Khóa Luận Sự Giống Và Khác Nhau Về Phong Tục Cưới Giữa Việt Nam Và Anh.docx

Khóa Luận Sự Giống Và Khác Nhau Về Phong Tục Cưới Giữa Việt Nam Và Anh.docx

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