This was a fun presentation to give to an audience of tech writers, back in 2003. As a Philosopher and Psychologist, I was able to give people some real insights in their usual personalities and communication styles - and show them some non-aggressive methods to cope with more extravert, more aggressive bosses and co-workers.

1. Bite back !
survival techniques for technical writers
Jang F.M. Graat
IF UnLtd B.V. (NL)
10th meeting of the STC-Transalpine Chapter
October 15-16, 2003 - Böblingen, Germany

2. What’s this talk about ?
Frustration in our jobs
Impossible deadlines
Inadequate equipment
No test environment
Unhelpful colleagues
Products that keep changing
Full responsibility for the documentation

3. How do people cope ?
Managers...
... obey their superiors
... put on the pressure
... do not accept excuses
... do not need to listen
... can only see the cost factor
... don’t understand what employees do

4. How do people cope ?
Developers...
... couldn’t care less
... are cool, no matter what
... don’t need anyone else
... live in their own universe
... often hide in a cloud of “Technese”
... can always blame the Devil, i.e. “Bugs”

5. How do people cope ?
Technical writers...
... run after those with the info
... are always last to finish
... say they need no recognition
... do their work in their own time
... are kind to others by profession
... are too sympathetic for their health

6. We are technical listeners
Communication...
... is our trade
... is our main talent
... is our biggest trap

7. Communicative behaviour
Anne-Lies Hustings
Sub-Assertive Aggressive
Assertive

8. Styles of communicating (1)
Sub-assertive
putting the other’s goals first
not wanting to hurt the other
speaking with lots of hesitation
long sentences, phrased as questions
smiling a lot, even when you’re angry

9. Styles of communicating (2)
Aggressive
dominating the conversation
not listening to other’s views
pointing finger, eye contact
stress on too many words
no breaks between sentences

10. Some definitions (Webster’s)
as-ser-tive, adj. 1. confidently aggressive or self-
assured; positive; aggressive; dogmatic. 2. having a
distinctive or pronounced taste or aroma.
as-sert, v.t. 1. to state with assurance, confidence,
or force; state strongly or positively; affirm. 2. to
maintain or defend (claims, rights, etc.). 3. to state
as having existence; affirm; postulate. 4. assert
oneself, to insist on one’s rights, declare one’s
views forcefully, etc.

11. Assertive in Theory

12. Declaration of Assertive Rights
Manuel J. Smith, Ph.D.
ISBN 0-553-26390-0

13. Assertive Right #1
You have the right to judge
your own behaviour, thoughts,
and emotions, and to take the
responsibility for their initiation
and consequences upon
yourself.

14. Further Assertive Rights
You have the right ...
... to offer no excuses or
reasons to justify your behaviour
... to judge whether you are
responsible for finding solutions
to other people’s problems
... to change your mind

15. Further Assertive Rights
You have the right ...
... to say “I don’t know”
... to make mistakes - and
be responsible for them
... to be independent of the
goodwill of others before
coping with them

16. Further Assertive Rights
You have the right ...
... to be illogical in making decisions
... to say “I don’t understand”
... to say “I don’t care”

17. Assertive in Practice

18. Persistence
Technique: “broken record”
don’t get side-tracked
keep repeating a phrase,
but don’t get angry or loud
offer or accept a compromise
only when your self-esteem
is not in question
feel good about yourself

19. Social communication
Establish an equal relationship
especially with the developers
Pick up “free information”
stuff told without being asked
Self-disclosure
relate to the free information

20. Manipulative criticism
Requesting a justification
“It is wrong to act like that”
“This is a proven bad habit.”
“Why do you always ... ?”
Not all criticism is manipulative
“I don’t like what you do”
“I want something else”

21. Coping with manipulation
“Fogging”
Negative assertion
Negative inquiry

22. Fogging
Answer to critique by agreeing:
“You are right, I am being irrational about this.”
“You are probably right about that.”
“I understand that you see it that way.”
Respond only to what the critic says,
not to what is (or seems to be) implied.
Takes the wind out of the critic’s sails

23. Negative assertion
Assertively accept a negative or action
“You’re right. That was a dumb thing to do.”
Takes away the guilt and anxiety
guilt can be used to manipulate you
anxiety leads to defensiveness and counter-
criticism, which feeds the critic’s energy

24. Negative inquiry
Actively prompt more (specific) criticism
NOT: “What makes you think this is bad ?”
“I don’t understand. What is it about my action
that is bad ?”
Be assertive, i.e. clear and calm, about it
get the critic to specify exactly what is wrong
take away the emotional response

25. Closing remarks

26. Don’t get emotional
If you feel bad about what
you’ve done, why not admit
it was a stupid thing to do ?
If you feel OK about your
actions, why feel guilty ?
Take responsibility for your
actions and the consequences