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Difficult Situations          Many times we have to          deal with difficult          situations in our          workp...
Assertiveness AssessmentA Questionnaire on Assertive         Behaviour
Have you ever been through
Have you ever been punished by your supervisor      for something bad you have done?
Have you ever been driven   crazy by patients?
Have you ever been scolded byyour boss for sleeping at work?
Have you ever been disappointed by someone           who you really trust?
Have people ever plotted      against you?
Have your colleagues ever gossiped and        talked bad about you?
Have you ever wanted to say   to something you’ve beenasked to do?
Have you ever……                  Have you ever…..                                     Have you ever……
It’s time to think positively and look for                a solution.
Seek a feasible option and take a courseaction which will lead to >>>>assertiveness
ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR - DEFINITION“Assertive behavior is a behavior which enables a person to actin their own best interest w...
Why to be assertive?Assertiveness:o Reduces stress in workplace and life.o Improves decision making skills.o Helps people ...
NON – ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR                               Passive   Passive individuals are not committed to their own right...
NON – ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR                            Aggressive   Are likely to disregard the rights of others.   Feel po...
COMPARISONDirect Aggression   Indirect Aggression   Submissive      AssertiveAngry               Sarcastic             Shy...
Assertive Tips and Techniques The broken record. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Use assertive body lan...
The Broken Record
Six guidelines:1. Select a short one-sentence refusal statement and use it     no matter what the other person says or doe...
4. Don’t ‘attend’ to the other person very well - it will only   encourage him/her to keep talking.5. Allow plenty of sile...
“ Example:       Sarah: "Can I borrow 10 SR from you?"       Paul: "I cannot lend you any money. Ive run out."       Sarah...
The Importance of “I” Statements
When confronted with an intolerable situation           Being assertive involves 5 stages.          Stage                 ...
I feel frustratedwhen you are   late for meetings.
Eye Contact and Facial Expressions• Maintain eye contact (but don’t stare).• Appear interested and alert, but not angry.• ...
Assertive Body Postures• Walk steadily, holding your back straight and  your head up.• Relax your shoulders and spread you...
The Significance of Distance for                  Assertiveness• Allow yourself enough room to feel at ease and move  when...
Voice Tone and Pitch• Strike a balance between whispers and very  loud voices.• Speak slowly, audibly, clearly and calmly....
Listening• Listen intently and attentively to other  people.• Be respective to what they say.• Nod your head or use interj...
External             AppearancesAssertiveness can be expressed via yourexternal appearance.
The The Delicate Artof Saying “No”         Delicate Art of Saying “No”• When saying no, it is important to be direct,  con...
Begin your answer with the word  “No” so it’s not ambiguous.
Make your answer short and to the             point.
Be honest, direct and firm.
Negative Assertion
For example, someone may say:Criticism: “Your desk is verymessy. You are very disorganized”.Response: “Yes, it’s true, I’m...
Negative Inquiry
For example:Criticism: “You’ll find that difficultwon’t you, because you are shy?”Reply: “In what ways do you think I’mshy?”
FoggingThere are 3 types of fogging: you cana) agree in part,b) agree in probability orc) agree in principle.
a) Agreeing in part:
For example:Criticism:“You haven’t got a job, you’recompletely unproductive.”Response: “Yes, it’s true, I don’t have a job”.
b) Agreeing in probability:
For example:Criticism: “If you don’t floss your teeth, you’llget gum disease and be sorry for the restof your life.”Respon...
c) Agreeing in principle:
For example:Criticism: “That’s the wrong tool for that job. Achisel like that will slip and mess upthe wood. You ought to ...
The basic difference between being assertive and beingaggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rightsand well b...
Assertiveness Techniques
Assertiveness Techniques
Assertiveness Techniques
Assertiveness Techniques
Assertiveness Techniques
Assertiveness Techniques
Assertiveness Techniques
Assertiveness Techniques
Assertiveness Techniques
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Assertiveness Techniques

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Assertiveness Techniques

  1. 1. Difficult Situations Many times we have to deal with difficult situations in our workplace or even in family. Conflictions in mind always occur between people. Views on same situation differ from person to person. We are humans and we have emotions and ego. When something like this occurs, it bothers everyone.
  2. 2. Assertiveness AssessmentA Questionnaire on Assertive Behaviour
  3. 3. Have you ever been through
  4. 4. Have you ever been punished by your supervisor for something bad you have done?
  5. 5. Have you ever been driven crazy by patients?
  6. 6. Have you ever been scolded byyour boss for sleeping at work?
  7. 7. Have you ever been disappointed by someone who you really trust?
  8. 8. Have people ever plotted against you?
  9. 9. Have your colleagues ever gossiped and talked bad about you?
  10. 10. Have you ever wanted to say to something you’ve beenasked to do?
  11. 11. Have you ever…… Have you ever….. Have you ever……
  12. 12. It’s time to think positively and look for a solution.
  13. 13. Seek a feasible option and take a courseaction which will lead to >>>>assertiveness
  14. 14. ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR - DEFINITION“Assertive behavior is a behavior which enables a person to actin their own best interest without undue anxiety, to expresstheir honest feelings comfortably and to stand up for theirown rights without denying the rights of others.”
  15. 15. Why to be assertive?Assertiveness:o Reduces stress in workplace and life.o Improves decision making skills.o Helps people have happier lives.o Helps people handle difficult co-workers and friends more easily.o Assertiveness prevents “gunny sacking”, i.e. it saves up a lot of bad feelings. Assertiveness is not what you do, its who you are! Cal Le Mon
  16. 16. NON – ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR Passive Passive individuals are not committed to their own rights. More likely to allow others to encroach on their rights than to stand up and speak out.
  17. 17. NON – ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR Aggressive Are likely to disregard the rights of others. Feel powerful when dominating others, later guilty or remorseful as people draw away. Tend to dismiss or ignore the feelings, needs and opinions. Tend to blame others for problems instead of offering solutions.
  18. 18. COMPARISONDirect Aggression Indirect Aggression Submissive AssertiveAngry Sarcastic Shy DirectBossing Scared Honest Deceiving Helpless AcceptingFrowning Ambiguous Embarrassed ResponsibleHitting Manipulative Indecisive SpontaneousOffending others Guilt-inducing Passive Saying noIntolerant Insinuating SmilingUnbearable Calm
  19. 19. Assertive Tips and Techniques The broken record. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Use assertive body language. The delicate art of saying “No”. Use the DESO technique when making requests. Negative assertion. Negative inquiry. Fogging.20
  20. 20. The Broken Record
  21. 21. Six guidelines:1. Select a short one-sentence refusal statement and use it no matter what the other person says or does.2. After each statement by the other person, say your broken record sentence.3. Say it in a soft, calm, unemotional voice.
  22. 22. 4. Don’t ‘attend’ to the other person very well - it will only encourage him/her to keep talking.5. Allow plenty of silence.6. Persist. You must say your broken record one more time than the other person makes his request.
  23. 23. “ Example: Sarah: "Can I borrow 10 SR from you?" Paul: "I cannot lend you any money. Ive run out." Sarah: "Ill pay you back as soon as I can. I need it desperately. You are my friend arent you?" Paul: "I cannot lend you any money." Sarah: "I would do the same for you. You wont miss 10 SR." Paul: "I am your friend AND I cannot lend you any money. Im afraid Ive run out."
  24. 24. The Importance of “I” Statements
  25. 25. When confronted with an intolerable situation Being assertive involves 5 stages. Stage Example1. Describe the behavior. “When you do this…..”2. Express your feelings. “I feel……………………….”3. Empathize. “I understand why you….”4. Negotiate a change. “I want you to……………….”5. Indicate Consequences. “If you do(don’t), I will….” Not all steps may be necessary for all situations.
  26. 26. I feel frustratedwhen you are late for meetings.
  27. 27. Eye Contact and Facial Expressions• Maintain eye contact (but don’t stare).• Appear interested and alert, but not angry.• Avoid looking away for long periods.
  28. 28. Assertive Body Postures• Walk steadily, holding your back straight and your head up.• Relax your shoulders and spread your weight evenly on both legs.
  29. 29. The Significance of Distance for Assertiveness• Allow yourself enough room to feel at ease and move when/if necessary.• Sit or stand directly in front of them.• Be sure to be near enough to be heard clearly without shouting.
  30. 30. Voice Tone and Pitch• Strike a balance between whispers and very loud voices.• Speak slowly, audibly, clearly and calmly.• Breathe normally to avoid nervousness.
  31. 31. Listening• Listen intently and attentively to other people.• Be respective to what they say.• Nod your head or use interjections to show that your paying attention.
  32. 32. External AppearancesAssertiveness can be expressed via yourexternal appearance.
  33. 33. The The Delicate Artof Saying “No” Delicate Art of Saying “No”• When saying no, it is important to be direct, concise, and to the point.• You may offer reasons for your refusal, but dont get carried away with numerous excuses.
  34. 34. Begin your answer with the word “No” so it’s not ambiguous.
  35. 35. Make your answer short and to the point.
  36. 36. Be honest, direct and firm.
  37. 37. Negative Assertion
  38. 38. For example, someone may say:Criticism: “Your desk is verymessy. You are very disorganized”.Response: “Yes, it’s true, I’m notvery tidy”.
  39. 39. Negative Inquiry
  40. 40. For example:Criticism: “You’ll find that difficultwon’t you, because you are shy?”Reply: “In what ways do you think I’mshy?”
  41. 41. FoggingThere are 3 types of fogging: you cana) agree in part,b) agree in probability orc) agree in principle.
  42. 42. a) Agreeing in part:
  43. 43. For example:Criticism:“You haven’t got a job, you’recompletely unproductive.”Response: “Yes, it’s true, I don’t have a job”.
  44. 44. b) Agreeing in probability:
  45. 45. For example:Criticism: “If you don’t floss your teeth, you’llget gum disease and be sorry for the restof your life.”Response: “You’re right I may get gum disease.”
  46. 46. c) Agreeing in principle:
  47. 47. For example:Criticism: “That’s the wrong tool for that job. Achisel like that will slip and mess upthe wood. You ought to have a gouge instead.”Response: “You’re right; if the chisel slips it willreally mess up the wood”.
  48. 48. The basic difference between being assertive and beingaggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rightsand well being of others.Bower, Sharon Anthony

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