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Interpersonal communication

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Interpersonal communication

  1. 1. InterpersonalCommunications Communications Robert Farrell
  2. 2. Contents Empathy. Dual Perspective. Communication Climate. Self-Disclosure. Acceptance & Non-Acceptance. Conflict. Nonviolent Communication Behavior.
  3. 3. Introduction Interpersonal communication is part of everyday life in work, with friends, buying goods. Coupled with non verbal communication it is a big part of your assessment:  Interview.  Group discussion.  Presentation Q&A.
  4. 4. Empathy Consider other persons situation. “Put yourself in their shows”. Get others to empathise with you. Build closer bonds.  Helps conflict resolution. Done emotionally & verbally.  “You must be over the moon”.  “I can see you are upset”.  “Imagine if it happened to you”.
  5. 5. Dual Perspective We must consider both our situation and other peoples. Part of negotiation, discussion & W-W outcomes. React mutually beneficial outcomes.
  6. 6. Communication Climate It is our general mood/emotional state at the time of communication. What will happen if I disagree with you when you are:  Happy?  Angry?  Tired?  Stressed
  7. 7. Communication Climate We can feel nervous, tense, stressed, excited, happy etc. We can respond neutral, ignorance, anger, acceptance etc. If you hit deadlock:  Use Empathy.  Show the person their own emotion.  Show how both need resolution.  Offer suggestions & solutions.  Be assertive & not aggressive.
  8. 8. Communication ClimateUnhealthy responses: Healthy responses:•Judgmental. •Non-judgemental.•Disrespectful. •Respectful.•Controlling. •Collaborative.•Ignorant. •Recognise others.•Exclude people. •Inclusive.
  9. 9. Self-Disclosure“Revealing personal information about ourselves that others are unlikely to discover on their own” Wood, 2000, p 194. Used to develop trust & reciprocation.  Requires preexisting relationship & trust.  Negotiation: Ask for it if not reciprocated. Form of cooperation. Take courage and effort.  Can be embarrassed or ashamed. Learned from childhood.
  10. 10. Self-Disclosure Different levels from basic to intimate.  Basic: Small talk acts as ice-breaker at interviews. Certain types are inappropriate to situations:  Personal vs professional. Tip: Share how to:  Study,  Overcome work-life balance,  Write reports or research.
  11. 11. Activity What are the benefits/risks of self disclosure? Are certain topics taboo to disclose in certain situations?
  12. 12. Acceptance & Non-Acceptance We all want to be accepted or fit in. Maslow hierarchy of needs.  Modern (Social), historic (Survival). Excommunication. Don’t want to feel ignored or not valued.  Can damage our confidence. Group discussion:  Respect & appreciate others input.  Allow other input, don’t be overly critical.  Encourage silent members to input.
  13. 13. Acceptance & Non-Acceptance
  14. 14. ActivityWhich responses are better to use: I think you could work harder. Your lazy. We should discuss this further. Its pointless, we’re getting nowhere. That idea failed 2 years ago, could we adapt it now. That’s always been a bad idea. Your assignment was crap. Your report would be better if you included more references. We’re not doing it, end of discussion. That date is very soon, how could we make it happen by then.
  15. 15. Acceptance & Non-AcceptanceAcceptance: Non-Acceptance:Forms:•Recognition. Communicated by:•Acknowledgement.•Approval •Not communicating acceptance. •Disregard.Communicated by: •Verbal:•Eye contact, •“Im having difficulty with it”---•Handshake, •“Ok, where is my pen”•Smile, •“Don’t be stupid, its easy”.•Nodding. •“That doesnt matter”.•“I know what you mean”.
  16. 16. Non-AcceptanceForms: Communicated by:•Recognition. •Eye contact, •Handshake,•Acknowledgement. •Smile, •Nodding.•Approval •“I know what you mean”.
  17. 17. Conflict Result of different Interests, Priorities, Views etc.  Basic in human nature. Cons:  Damages relationships.  Bad working environment. (Video) Pros: (Video)  Must be managed well.  Devils advocate & chairperson/facilitator.  Divergent thinking: new ideas.  New solutions to new problems.  Overcomes Group think & status quo bias.  Challenger space shuttle O rings.
  18. 18. ConflictOvert Conflict: Openly expression of disagreement. QuickTime™ and a decompressor Calmly or quietly. are needed to see this picture.  “I don’t completely agree with that point” Load & Aggressive.  “That’s completely wrong!” It is generally positive to air conflict: In the Right way.
  19. 19. Covert Conflict: Conflict Express conflict indirectly.  Passive aggression.  Not helping others. QuickTime™ and a decompressor  Withholding resources/information. are needed to see this picture.  Silent resentment. Generally unhealthy.  Does not address problem or create resolution.  Can erupt later.  Causes stress to person holding it in. Why we do it:  It can be uncomfortable to express disagreement.  Conflict aversion.
  20. 20. ConflictWe we respond as we doA Survey of Empirical Studies of Conflict. Easterbrook, S.M. (ed) 1993 CSCW: Cooperation or Conflict? London:Springer-Verlag, pp. 1-68.http://www.cs.toronto.edu/~sme/papers/1993/csrp227.pdf
  21. 21. ConflictResponding to Conflict: Active:  Do something about it. Correct response depends on situation. Passive:  Do nothing. Sometime the best response is to end a relationship  It can build. or “Face face”. Constructive:  Preserve & maintain relationship. Destructive:  Break the relationship.
  22. 22. ActivityWhen is each response advisable?  Active  Passive  Constructive  Destructive
  23. 23. Conflict4 Specific conflict responses Exit:  Leave the conversation mentally or stop listening..  Active & Destructive. Neglect:  Ignore the problem: “There is nothing wrong”.  Passive & Destructive. Loyalty:  Allow other person to solve it unopposed.  Passive & Constructive. Voice:  Discuss the problem, propose solutions.  Active & Constructive.
  24. 24. Activity4 Specific conflict responses Do you think any are correct or incorrect to use. Think of a situation when they would be the right style to use?
  25. 25. Nonviolent Communication Developed by American psychologist, Dr Marshal Rosenberg. Steps:  Observe the situation/conflict.  Express you feeling.  Say what you need to happen to solve conflict.  Request help in solving the problem/conflict. Must practice, listening, respect etc.
  26. 26. Nonviolent Communication What we say is NOT always what we mean. Example:  I have not seen you clean you room in 2 weeks.  You are lazy.  I have not seen you buy a round of drinks for us.  You are mean.  He missed the last 3 report deadlines. Why are they  He is so disorganised. acting this way?
  27. 27. ActivityWhich statement is better to use? You’re intimidating me. I feel intimidated when you do that. You’re doing my head in. I get frustrated when you do that. You’re always so demanding. I am finding it hard to cope with these demands.
  28. 28. BehaviorAggressive Behavior: Forces your needs over another persons. W-L outcome. Obstacle to Pie expansion. Not listening to their point of view. Ignorant & Arrogant. Damages current & future relationship.
  29. 29. BehaviorPassive behavior: Sacrificing own needs to another’s. Apologetic, lacks initiative. Non-assertive. W-L outcome. Damages relationship & pie expansion. Damages self confidence. Self fulfilling prophecy.
  30. 30. BehaviorAssertive behavior: Positive way to express ideas, needs, feelings. Treat self & other with equal importance. W-W. Supports pie expansion. Supports relationship building. Shows confidence & self worth. Limits risk of being exploited.
  31. 31. ActivityA co worker/student is always asking you to get him/her coffee but never gets you one back. Until now you have gotten coffee for him/her.One day you are busy with work.1. Write a brief response for each type: Aggressive. Passive. Assertive.2. How do you think he/she perceives each response?
  32. 32. Chapter Review1. Give a brief explanation of Empathy & Dual perspective.2. What is communication climate?3. What are the advantages/disadvantages of self disclosure?4. Give 3 examples of accepting/non-accepting communication.5. List advantages/disadvantages of conflict.6. Outline 4 responses to conflict.7. What are the 4 components of nonviolent communication?8. What is a passive/aggressive/assertive response?
  33. 33. Summary Empathy. Dual Perspective. Communication Climate. Self-Disclosure. Acceptance & Non-Acceptance. Conflict. Nonviolent Communication Behavior.

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