Introduction Interpersonal communication is part of everyday life in work, with friends, buying goods. Coupled with non verbal communication it is a big part of your assessment: Interview. Group discussion. Presentation Q&A.
Empathy Consider other persons situation. “Put yourself in their shows”. Get others to empathise with you. Build closer bonds. Helps conflict resolution. Done emotionally & verbally. “You must be over the moon”. “I can see you are upset”. “Imagine if it happened to you”.
Dual Perspective We must consider both our situation and other peoples. Part of negotiation, discussion & W-W outcomes. React mutually beneficial outcomes.
Communication Climate It is our general mood/emotional state at the time of communication. What will happen if I disagree with you when you are: Happy? Angry? Tired? Stressed
Communication Climate We can feel nervous, tense, stressed, excited, happy etc. We can respond neutral, ignorance, anger, acceptance etc. If you hit deadlock: Use Empathy. Show the person their own emotion. Show how both need resolution. Offer suggestions & solutions. Be assertive & not aggressive.
Self-Disclosure“Revealing personal information about ourselves that others are unlikely to discover on their own” Wood, 2000, p 194. Used to develop trust & reciprocation. Requires preexisting relationship & trust. Negotiation: Ask for it if not reciprocated. Form of cooperation. Take courage and effort. Can be embarrassed or ashamed. Learned from childhood.
Self-Disclosure Different levels from basic to intimate. Basic: Small talk acts as ice-breaker at interviews. Certain types are inappropriate to situations: Personal vs professional. Tip: Share how to: Study, Overcome work-life balance, Write reports or research.
Activity What are the benefits/risks of self disclosure? Are certain topics taboo to disclose in certain situations?
Acceptance & Non-Acceptance We all want to be accepted or fit in. Maslow hierarchy of needs. Modern (Social), historic (Survival). Excommunication. Don’t want to feel ignored or not valued. Can damage our confidence. Group discussion: Respect & appreciate others input. Allow other input, don’t be overly critical. Encourage silent members to input.
ActivityWhich responses are better to use: I think you could work harder. Your lazy. We should discuss this further. Its pointless, we’re getting nowhere. That idea failed 2 years ago, could we adapt it now. That’s always been a bad idea. Your assignment was crap. Your report would be better if you included more references. We’re not doing it, end of discussion. That date is very soon, how could we make it happen by then.
Acceptance & Non-AcceptanceAcceptance: Non-Acceptance:Forms:•Recognition. Communicated by:•Acknowledgement.•Approval •Not communicating acceptance. •Disregard.Communicated by: •Verbal:•Eye contact, •“Im having difficulty with it”---•Handshake, •“Ok, where is my pen”•Smile, •“Don’t be stupid, its easy”.•Nodding. •“That doesnt matter”.•“I know what you mean”.
Non-AcceptanceForms: Communicated by:•Recognition. •Eye contact, •Handshake,•Acknowledgement. •Smile, •Nodding.•Approval •“I know what you mean”.
Conflict Result of different Interests, Priorities, Views etc. Basic in human nature. Cons: Damages relationships. Bad working environment. (Video) Pros: (Video) Must be managed well. Devils advocate & chairperson/facilitator. Divergent thinking: new ideas. New solutions to new problems. Overcomes Group think & status quo bias. Challenger space shuttle O rings.
ConflictOvert Conflict: Openly expression of disagreement. QuickTime™ and a decompressor Calmly or quietly. are needed to see this picture. “I don’t completely agree with that point” Load & Aggressive. “That’s completely wrong!” It is generally positive to air conflict: In the Right way.
Covert Conflict: Conflict Express conflict indirectly. Passive aggression. Not helping others. QuickTime™ and a decompressor Withholding resources/information. are needed to see this picture. Silent resentment. Generally unhealthy. Does not address problem or create resolution. Can erupt later. Causes stress to person holding it in. Why we do it: It can be uncomfortable to express disagreement. Conflict aversion.
ConflictWe we respond as we doA Survey of Empirical Studies of Conflict. Easterbrook, S.M. (ed) 1993 CSCW: Cooperation or Conflict? London:Springer-Verlag, pp. 1-68.http://www.cs.toronto.edu/~sme/papers/1993/csrp227.pdf
ConflictResponding to Conflict: Active: Do something about it. Correct response depends on situation. Passive: Do nothing. Sometime the best response is to end a relationship It can build. or “Face face”. Constructive: Preserve & maintain relationship. Destructive: Break the relationship.
ActivityWhen is each response advisable? Active Passive Constructive Destructive
Conflict4 Specific conflict responses Exit: Leave the conversation mentally or stop listening.. Active & Destructive. Neglect: Ignore the problem: “There is nothing wrong”. Passive & Destructive. Loyalty: Allow other person to solve it unopposed. Passive & Constructive. Voice: Discuss the problem, propose solutions. Active & Constructive.
Activity4 Specific conflict responses Do you think any are correct or incorrect to use. Think of a situation when they would be the right style to use?
Nonviolent Communication Developed by American psychologist, Dr Marshal Rosenberg. Steps: Observe the situation/conflict. Express you feeling. Say what you need to happen to solve conflict. Request help in solving the problem/conflict. Must practice, listening, respect etc.
Nonviolent Communication What we say is NOT always what we mean. Example: I have not seen you clean you room in 2 weeks. You are lazy. I have not seen you buy a round of drinks for us. You are mean. He missed the last 3 report deadlines. Why are they He is so disorganised. acting this way?
ActivityWhich statement is better to use? You’re intimidating me. I feel intimidated when you do that. You’re doing my head in. I get frustrated when you do that. You’re always so demanding. I am finding it hard to cope with these demands.
BehaviorAggressive Behavior: Forces your needs over another persons. W-L outcome. Obstacle to Pie expansion. Not listening to their point of view. Ignorant & Arrogant. Damages current & future relationship.
BehaviorPassive behavior: Sacrificing own needs to another’s. Apologetic, lacks initiative. Non-assertive. W-L outcome. Damages relationship & pie expansion. Damages self confidence. Self fulfilling prophecy.
BehaviorAssertive behavior: Positive way to express ideas, needs, feelings. Treat self & other with equal importance. W-W. Supports pie expansion. Supports relationship building. Shows confidence & self worth. Limits risk of being exploited.
ActivityA co worker/student is always asking you to get him/her coffee but never gets you one back. Until now you have gotten coffee for him/her.One day you are busy with work.1. Write a brief response for each type: Aggressive. Passive. Assertive.2. How do you think he/she perceives each response?
Chapter Review1. Give a brief explanation of Empathy & Dual perspective.2. What is communication climate?3. What are the advantages/disadvantages of self disclosure?4. Give 3 examples of accepting/non-accepting communication.5. List advantages/disadvantages of conflict.6. Outline 4 responses to conflict.7. What are the 4 components of nonviolent communication?8. What is a passive/aggressive/assertive response?