Why was 6
afraid of 7?
Because 789!

What did the spider
do on the computer?
It made a website!

What has four legs
but can't walk?
A table!

How do you know carrots
are good for your eyes?
A. Because you never see
rabbits wearing glasses!

On which side of an
ostrich are the feathers?
The outside!

“Joey, can you come out
and play?”
“No. I have to help my
dad do my homework.”

What did the fish
say when he swam
into the wall?
Dam!

Why did the clown take off
his shoes?
His feet felt funny.

What did the elevator say
to the doctor?
“I’m coming down with
something.”

What is the longest word
in English?
“Smiles. There’s a mile
between each “s”.

Why did the bunny cross
the road?
Because it wanted to
show its girlfriend it
could hip hop!

Why did the man put
his money in the
freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!

Where do polar
bears vote?
The North Poll

Where do snowmen
keep their money?
In snow banks.

What's brown and
sticky?
A stick.

Why did the
tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!

What did the grape do
when it got stepped on?
It let out a little wine!

What dog keeps
the best time?
A watch dog.

What did the water
say to the boat?
Nothing, it just waved.

What did the judge say
when the skunk walked in
the court room?
Odor in the court.

Why did the
elephant eat the
candle?
He wanted a light snack!

What do you get from a
pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What letters are not
in the alphabet?
The ones in the mail, of
course!

What did the gum say to
the shoe?
“I’m stuck on you.”

What do you call cheese
that is not yours?
Nacho Cheese

After a careful
examination the doctor
said, “ I’m sorry to tell you
that you’ve only got four
hours to live. {cont.}

Is there anyone you want
to see before you go?”
“Yes,” answered the
patient. “ Another
doctor.”

Dad, “You usually talk a lot
on the phone. Why did you
only talk half an hour?”
Daughter, “It was a
wrong number!”

What goes up the chimney
down, but not down the
chimney up?
An umbrella

Where do spices go when
they are sick?
To see Dr. Pepper.