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Date and Acquaintance Rape - as given (4.19.2014)


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A presentation on the statistics of date and acquaintance rape and sexual assault. Included information on how bystanders can intervene and a prevention model that focuses on men. (This is shorter version cut back to fit time constraints.)

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Date and Acquaintance Rape - as given (4.19.2014)

  1. 1. William Harryman, MSC, NCC, MS Trauma Clinician Southern Arizona Center Against Sexual Assault
  2. 2. Southern Arizona Center Against Sexual Assault Our clients: Anyone who has survived a sexual trauma: Incest, molestation, sexual assault, sexual harassment, rape, stalking, and anything else that might be considered sexual trauma Ages 12 and up Female and male NO FEE 24/7/365 Crisis Line: 520-327-1721 / 800-400-1001 TTY/DD/SMS: 520-327-1721; After Hours, 235-3358 Walk-in clients in crisis are seen between 8 am – noon , and between 1 pm – 5 pm
  3. 3. Acquaintance Rape is a sex crime committed by someone who knows the victim - a friend, classmate, relative, co-worker, or someone you meet in a bar or at a party. As a sex crime, acquaintance rape includes forced, manipulated, or coerced sexual contact, including while drugged or sleeping.
  4. 4. Sexual Assault: a spectrum of sexual violence that includes any sexual contact or activity without consent. Coercion: any form of pressure employed to overcome one’s ability to freely give one’s consent. Sexual Harassment: any unwanted attention or advances regarding sexual gratification, favors, or other verbal or physical conduct of sexual nature. Rape: any penetration (vaginal, anal, oral) with anything (penis, fingers, objects) done without consent. Sexual Exploitation: sexual abuse of a person through the exchange of sex or sexual acts for food, shelter, protection, other basic necessities of life, and/or money.
  5. 5. Consent: a clearly and freely given word or overt action confirming a willing desire towards and limited to a specific sexual request or experience. Consent cannot be provided by minors, or any individual who is mentally impaired, including impairment by intoxication through drugs or alcohol. Consent is an affirmative response. It is NOT a lack of response.
  6. 6. Intrusion- Attempt by the offender to violate the victim's personal space and level of comfort. May draw close by revealing personal information or through "accidental" touches and stares. Desensitization- Occurs when the victim feels comfortable with the offender and has come to regard intrusive actions as no longer, or at least less, threatening. The victim of the desensitization may feel uneasy but convinces himself or herself that the feeling is unfounded. Isolation- The offender uses the victim's trust to isolate him or her from others.
  7. 7. Social norms put pressure on many of us to be polite and passive. Relying on these norms, many victims of assaults may suppress feelings of fear and discomfort in an attempt not to offend. Acquaintance assault prevention demands that we set aside such social norms and listen to our instinctual sense of fear and discomfort. Some women do not offer a firm NO in order to not hurt the man’s feelings. It’s okay, he will survive. You are not responsible for his feelings, only your safety.
  8. 8. 683,000 forcible rapes per year; 56,916 per month; 1,871 per day; 78 per hour; 1.3 per minute
  9. 9. 84% of women knew their attacker (date rape) 90% of date rapes occur when either victim or rapist are drinking 33% of men said they would rape if they could not get caught 44% of women who were date-raped have considered suicide * Stats are from RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network)
  10. 10. In 2005-2010, 78% of sexual violence involved an offender who was a family member, intimate partner, friend, or acquaintance. 90% of rape victims who knew their attacker did not report the attack to the police. 38% of acquaintance rape victims are 14-17 years old. The average age of all adolescent and college victims is 18.5 years. U.S. Dept. of Justice Crime Statistics
  11. 11. 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed rape; 2.8% attempted rape).1 17.7 million American women have been victims of attempted or completed rape.1 9 of every 10 rape victims were female in 2003.2 1. National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention. Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey. 1998. 2. U.S. Department of Justice. 2003 National Crime Victimization Survey. 2003.
  12. 12. Lifetime rate of rape /attempted rape for women by race: All women: 17.6% White women: 17.7% Black women: 18.8% Asian Pacific Islander women: 6.8% American Indian/Alaskan women: 34.1% Mixed race women: 24.4% National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention. Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey. 1998.
  13. 13. 15% of sexual assault and rape victims are under age 12. 29% are age 12-17. 44% are under age 18. 80% are under age 30. Ages 12-34 are the highest risk years. Girls ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. 7% of girls in grades 5-8 and 12% of girls in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused. 3% of boys grades 5-8 and 5% of boys in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused.
  14. 14. In 1995, local child protection service agencies identified 126,000 children who were victims of either substantiated or indicated sexual abuse. Of these, 75% were girls. Nearly 30% of child victims were between the age of 4 and 7. 93% of juvenile sexual assault victims know their attacker. 34.2% of attackers were family members. 58.7% were acquaintances. Only 7% of the perpetrators were strangers to the victim. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Administration for Children and Families. 1995 Child Maltreatment Survey. 1995. U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics. 2000 Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement. 2000.
  15. 15. One in five adult women (363,000 in 2003) have been victims of one or more forcible rapes1 in their lifetime (Ruggiero & Kilpatrick, 2003) 1 That statistic only includes vaginal penetration of a woman against her will, not any other form of sexual assault. In 2011, AZ youth in 9th-12th grades: 13% of girls and 7% of boys report experiencing forced intercourse2. In 2011, AZ youth 9th-12th grades: 12% of girls and 11% of boys answered YES to, “During the past 12 months, did your boy/girlfriend ever hit, slap, or physically hurt you on purpose?” 2 1, 2 Arizona Dept. of Education (2012). 2011 AZ Youth Risk Behavior Survey Trend Report.
  16. 16. Myth A woman who gets raped usually deserves it, especially if she has agreed to go to a man's house or park with him. If a woman agrees to allow a man to pay for dinner, drinks, etc., then it means she owes him sex. Acquaintance rape is committed by men who are easy to identify as rapists. Women who don't fight back haven't been raped. Reality No one deserves to be raped. Being in a man's house or car does not mean that a woman has agreed to have sex with him. Sex is not an implied payback for dinner or other expense no matter how much money has been spent. Women are often raped by "normal" acquaintances who resemble "regular guys." Rape occurs when one is forced to have sex against their will, whether they have decided to fight back or not.
  17. 17. Myth • Intimate kissing or touching means that intercourse is inevitable. • Once a man reaches a certain point of arousal, sex is inevitable and they can't help forcing themselves upon a woman. • Most women lie about acquaintance rape because they have regrets after consensual sex. • Women who say "No" really mean "Yes." • Certain behaviors such as drinking or dressing in a sexually appealing way make rape a woman's responsibility. Reality • Everyone's right to say "no" should be honored, regardless of the activity which preceded it. • Men are fully capable of exercising restraint in acting upon sexual urges. • Acquaintance rape really happens - to people you know, by people you know. • This notion is based on rigid and outdated sexual stereotypes. • Drinking or dressing in a sexually appealing way are not invitations for sex.
  18. 18. MYTH: A woman who gets raped usually deserves it, especially if she has agreed to go to a man's house or park with him, if she is dressed provocatively, if she is drunk, high, or passed out, or if she was flirting, kissing, or initiating sexual contact. REALITY: No one deserves to be raped. Being in a man's house or car does not mean that a woman has agreed to have sex with him. Being dressed “provocatively” is not consent, nor is drunkenness, being high, or being passed out. Flirting, kissing, and sexual play are not forms of consent. The only consent is “YES.” Otherwise, No means NO, not maybe and certainly not yes.
  19. 19. Acquaintance rape victims suffer the same psychological harms as stranger-rape victims: Shock Shame/humiliation Anxiety Depression Substance abuse Suicidal thoughts Loss of self-esteem Social isolation Anger Distrust of others Fear of AIDS Guilt Sexual dysfunction Helplessness
  20. 20. Victims of sexual assault are: 3 times more likely to suffer from depression. 6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol. 26 times more likely to abuse drugs. 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide. For women, sexual assault is the leading cause of PTSD World Health Organization. 2002.
  21. 21. 97 percent informed at least one close confidant but only 28 percent informed police (Wiehe & Richards, 1995) Only 20 percent decided to prosecute. Koss (1988) reports that only two percent of acquaintance rape survivors report their experiences to the police. This compared with the 21 percent who reported rape by a stranger to the police. • Wiehe, V.R. & Richards, A.L. (1995). Intimate betrayal: Understanding and responding to the trauma of acquaintance rape. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. • Koss, M.P. (1988). Hidden rape: Sexual aggression and victimization in the national sample of students in higher education. In M.A. Pirog-Good & J.E. Stets (Eds.)., Violence in dating relationships: Emerging social issues (pp. 145168). New York, NY: Praeger.
  22. 22. 1. Justice Department, National Crime Victimization Survey: 2008-2012 2. FBI, Uniform Crime Reports: 2006-2010 3. National Center for Policy Analysis, Crime and Punishment in America, 1999 4. Department of Justice, Felony Defendents in Large Urban Counties: average of 2002-2006 5. Department of Justice, Felony Defendents in Large Urban Counties: average of 2002-2006
  23. 23. When should you get involved? Whenever someone could get hurt if the behavior continues. BUT, bystander intervention only works if you stay safe. These are suggestions to assess the situation. 1. Identify the problem 2. Decide if the situation could get more dangerous 3. Decide if you can say or do something without becoming a target yourself 4. Choose your action (see the following list)
  24. 24. If you assess the situation may be too dangerous for you or the victim, call 911. Otherwise: Take your friend home from the party if they are too intoxicated or seem to be acting more drugged than reasonable for their consumption. Keep friends who are drunk or high from going off on their own to secluded places (outdoors, bedrooms, cars) with another person(s). Intervene – see the following list.
  25. 25. 1. “I” statements Three parts: 1. Name the behavior 2. State your feelings 3. State how you want the person to respond. This focuses on your feelings rather than criticizing the other person. 2. Silent Stare Not all communication is verbal A disapproving look can say far more than words
  26. 26. 3. Humor Reduces the tension Funny doesn’t mean unimportant – do not undermine your intervention 4. Group Intervention (BEST option) Safety and power in numbers (3 or more is best) Indicated when someone has a pattern of inappropriate behavior Present examples of the behavior as evidence of a problem
  27. 27. 5. Bring it Home – Make it Personal Prevents him from distancing himself from the impact of his actions Prevents him from dehumanizing his targets 6. We’re friends, right….? Reframes the intervention as caring and non-critical Example: “Hey Jim, as your friend I need to tell you that getting a girl drunk to have sex with her isn’t cool. Come on, let’s go downstairs so she can sleep it off.”
  28. 28. 7. Distraction Most effective for street harassment Snaps someone out of their “sexist comfort zone” Example: Ask a man harassing a woman on the street for directions or the time. Allows a potential target to move away and/or to have other friends intervene Example: Spill your drink on the person or interrupt and start a conversation with the person. These suggestions come from “Stop Abuse at Virginia Tech”
  29. 29. Believe someone who discloses a sexual trauma Be respectful of yourself and others Watch out for your friends – If someone seems in trouble, check on them. ALSO, call out friends acting inappropriately or offensively. Speak up –Don’t laugh at racist, sexist, homophobic jokes. Express your distaste. Get involved – Become a peer educator or volunteer. If you’d like to volunteer at SACASA, see me after the presentation – we have a new advocate training beginning in June.
  30. 30. We Have it All Backwards
  31. 31. 33% of men said they would rape if they couldn’t get caught
  32. 32. We teach women how not to get raped We don’t teach men NOT to rape
  33. 33. We are implicitly teaching girls and women that men are not safe, but MOST men are safe We are implicitly teaching men that they are predators and have no control over their desire We cannot stop date and acquaintance rape by teaching girls and women to be afraid But we CAN stop date and acquaintance rape by teaching boys and men three things: Respect all women as you would want to be respected (or how you’d want your mother/sister respected) NO MEANS NO! Being unconscious is NOT consent
  34. 34. Rape is NOT a joke | Rape is NOT funny Rape is a SERIOUS and VIOLENT crime Rape is NOT acceptable and will NOT be tolerated It is NEVER the victim’s fault . . . EVER!
  35. 35. Las Familias, children (and adult survivors) involved in intra-familial sexual trauma. 327-7122 SACASA, men and women, 12 and up, no fee, no insurance required. 24-hr Sexual Assault Crisis Lines: (520) 327-7273 or (800) 400-1001 Emerge!, domestic violence shelter, education, support groups. 795-8001; Crisis Line 888-428- 0101 Tucson Medical Center, Phone: 327-5461, TMC partnered with SACASA to create a dedicated room strictly for forensic exams of rape survivors.