Workplace Mental Health eMag - WorkLife October 2018 Issue - Better Workplace Resilience and Wellbeing

STOP
STRESSING OUT
The Gift of a
Mindful Workplace
AM I TOO
PERFECT?
3 Reasons Why
You Need To Avoid
Being Too Perfect
CRAIG & JENNY
Our resident health
experts talk about the
importance of Nutrition,
Movement and Mindset
October 2018
FAMILYAND
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
What Workplaces Need to Do
BF ethenny
rankel The Real Housewives of New
York star talks Resilience
WORKLIFE

O
FROM THE CEOFROM THE CEO
Peter DiazCEO -WorkplaceMental HealthInstitute
October is Mental Health Month, but you’ve probably heard all about it. It’s
all about creating awareness. But how much more awareness do we need?
Don’t we know by now that mental health is important, that it is costing us
massively, and that we need to do something about it? And the even bigger
question is what will we DO with our increased awareness?
I’m hoping that as a society, in Australia and around the world, the increased
awareness results in healthier people, not simply in the identifying of more
sick people. To me, healthy and happy lives is the aim. How can we become
a healthier society? and, do we now have the tools? That is one of the most
important conversations to be had, yet, to have it, we need to be willing to
have some frank discussions.
It is my hope that, as you read this month’s issue, you too get ideas for that
kind of frank discussion. We have a number of contributors and a significant
amount of collective wisdom. I think you’ll like it.
Our cover has Real Housewives of New York Wives star, Bethenny Frankel. An
exceptional business woman and someone who has had her share of difficult
times and has had to develop resilience. It’s a short but interesting interview.
What else?
• We warn you against the futility of seeking Perfection. It can be very
destructive.
• We have a second interview with a health power couple, Craig & Jenny.
• We explore the topic of Mindfulness – which we know is a key element to
recovering from any mental, psychological or spiritual malaise
• And, just when you thought it couldn’t get any juicier, we cover the
limits of checklists when it comes to helping people with a mental health
challenge or thinking of suicide.
Well, there you have it. I hope you enjoy it all and helps you with the ongoing
conversation we need to have.
Have a mentally healthy October and talk again in November.
2 WORKLIFE|OCTOBER 2018

W
When I first heard the name Bethenny Frankel,
my response was Bethenny who?
I was told she was one of the housewives on the
show Real Housewives of New York (RHONY),
and that she also had a bit of side business,
something to do with cocktails.
I did a little more research and found she is
actually a super-successful businesswoman, who
has founded a string of successful businesses,
including a party planning business, a venture
selling pashmina scarves, and ‘Bethenny Bakes’
healthy biscuits. Oh, and she also founded
Skinnygirl Cocktails, which she sold for an
estimated 100 million USD!
She has also authored 4 self help books, had
her own talk show, and set up BStrong, which
provides help to women in crisis and disaster
relief.
Along the road there have been many challenges,
both in her business and her personal life, where
she has gone through a particularly ugly and
public divorce, miscarriage, as well as the death
of her boyfriend in August this year.
Having been through all that, there is no doubt
that Bethenny Frankel is a resilient, strong and
intelligent woman. And seeing as resilience is
a topic that I speak about all the time with our
clients, I was really pleased to be able to sit down
with Bethenny in California, and have a quick
chat about her top tips for building resilience.
Her response was insightful, and echoed the
same principles we teach in our Resilience
training.
Bethenny & Emi’s Top 5 tips for handling major
life challenges
Bethenny says “Know that EVERYONE has
challenges”
Emi explains: “When you’re going through a
crisis of some kind, it is sometimes easy to feel
like you are the only one to have experienced
something like this. It can feel lonely and isolating, no
matter how many people are around. It can be helpful to
remember that everyone has their own challenges at some
point in life. Reach out to someone who you respect, and
get support. Know that you are not alone.
Bethenny says “Sleep is really important”
Emi explains: It is incredible just how much
impact a lack of sleep can have on your ability
to regulate your emotions and think clearly.
When we’re going through a stressful time, it’s
pretty common to feel tired, no matter how much sleep
you actually get. So if you are having difficulty sleeping,
at least make the time to get some rest when you can. A
power nap here and there can do the world of good.
BETHENNY FRANKEL
1
2
On Business, Love
and Resilience
by Emi Golding

Watch the Video Here:
Bethenny says “Set Yourself Up for Success”
Emi says: This is about looking for opportunities to make something positive
out of the situation. It’s about making sure you don’t give up entirely, but
you do what you can. In our training programs, we talk about the balance
between supporting yourself, and being kind and nurturing to yourself,
while at the same time challenging yourself to take some positive forward steps. Its not
one or the other, its both.
Bethenny says “Live in the moment”
Emi says: This is particularly true when we are faced with a difficult situation
at work or at home. Spending too much time and energy thinking (worrying)
about things in the future, without having all the information, or a clear
mind to digest it, can just lead to more anxiety and pain. It’s helpful to
remember that for a little while, while everything is still raw, to focus on the here and
now. Once things have calmed down a little, then you can start to make decisions and
make positive plans for the future. We often say “don’t make a decision in a crisis”.
Bethenny says “Think about it like a golf game”
Emi says: It’s a great analogy. Concentrate on the first hole, and what is
needed right now. Only once that one is sorted, you move onto the next.
In real life, this means prioritising what needs your attention right now, and
letting go of all the other things for the moment. They can wait. When we’re
under extreme stress, taking that weight off your shoulders can be a huge relief.
3
4
5
5WORKLIFE|OCTOBER 2018

A
By Peter Diaz
making mistakes. In short,
for not being ‘perfect’. To
our detriment.
3 REASONS TO LET GO
OF BEING ‘PERFECT’:
1. Higher rates of
depression amongst
perfectionists.
That’s what the research
shows. It makes sense
since aiming for perfection
sets you up for constant
disappointment. No one can
achieve perfection 100% of
the time anyway.
2. Perfection isn’t attainable
anyway.
Perfection is in the eye of
the beholder. Everyone will
have a different version of
what ‘perfect’ looks like
anyway. So you may have
toiled for hours, days, weeks
on a project and think you
have it ‘perfect’ to find that
Are you obsessed with
‘perfect’? Just a little bit?
We know a lot of people
who are. Do you? It seems
to be a kind of obsession,
a trend. The need to
marry ‘Mr Right’. To have
the perfect wedding. The
perfect life. The perfect
career. The perfect selfie.
And it’s a trend that, sadly,
we’re seeing more and more
in workplaces – crippling
workplace anxiety caused by
the need to be ‘perfect’. But
what is ‘perfect’ anyway?
The dictionary definition
says it is “free from faults of
defects”, yet you probably
can think of plenty of
examples where the beauty,
the uniqueness, came from
the imperfections. Just think
about the leaning tower of
Pisa, for example. Talk about
imperfection! It doesn’t
even stand straight! What a
monumental mistake! And
yet millions of people from
around the world flock to
Pisa in droves to see THE
tower!
Yet in many workplaces
people are punished for
The
with
Problem
Perfection

One Last Tip for Managers
If you have a team of people you
manage, then you’ll know that
forcing them to strive for your
perfection doesn’t work. That’s
called micro management, and
it doesn’t usually end up well. In
order to be an effective manager,
in most scenarios, you have to
accept from others what you
might consider 80% of perfect,
enhance and improve it another
10%, and then move on, so you
can get to the next piece of work
and the next project. Adopt
a philosophy of Continuous
Quality Improvement, rather than
perfection. You’ll feel the stress
melt away as you do.
been out there in the world
offering their gifts. In sport
for example, you don’t
wait until you are a perfect
golfer/swimmer/runner to
start competing. You train
hard, you do your best, you
compete. Sometimes you
win and sometimes you lose.
But you keep training and
competing and over time
you get better and better. If
you waited until you were
prefect, it’d never happen!
HOW TO STRIVE FOR
‘EXCELLENCE’, NOT
PERFECTION.
Easier said than done right?
Not necessarily. Letting go
of perfectionism doesn’t
mean you settle for sloppy
standards of course. It just
means you seek ‘Excellence’
instead.
So here are some strategies
to help shift your focus
to ‘excellence’ rather than
perfection:
1. Firstly, recognise
that Perfectionism isn’t
something we’re born
with. It is simply a thought
pattern, something that we
have practised over and over
again. And that’s good news,
because it means you can
practice thinking in other
ways.
Once you’ve really seen how
negatively perfectionism can
impact on your wellbeing
and your performance, make
a commitment to consciously
and deliberately change any
perfectionistic thinking.
One of the mottos we share
with our clients is “It doesn’t have to
be perfect, it just has to get done”. If
you can catch yourself, especially when
frustrated with something, and remind
yourself of this mantra, it can really
help to take the pressure off. And you’ll
end up achieving more anyway.
2. Weigh up the value of time
vs ‘perfection’. In some cases, it
might be quite appropriate to seek
perfection. For example, where safety
is concerned. Or perhaps where
the numbers have to be right (like
in accounting). But in the modern
workplace, and society, time is very
valuable. Things move quickly. and
those who are good at working faster
and smarter win the race.
3. Another technique is to set yourself
realistic timeframes for projects. Say
to yourself “I will do the best I can
accomplish within this time frame.
When the time is up, I move onto
something else”. You’ll find that when
you have a fixed ‘due date’ (or deadline)
for something, and you hold yourself
to it, you won’t be able to indulge in
perfectionist tendencies. Do your best,
then “Next!”
your boss, or your client are
quick to criticise.
3. Striving for perfection
rarely actually works.
When you’re spending hours
and days, weeks and months,
even years striving for
‘perfection’ on a particular
project, you’re not getting it
done. So called ‘perfection’
tends to take time. And
while you’re busy taking
time to get something done,
someone else is producing
something that is only very
good, getting all the praise
and accolades, progressing
their career, and moving
forward onto their next
success!
In studies of the world’s
most successful people in
their chosen endeavours,
one of the things we
discover is that those people
don’t focus on perfection.
If they’d done that they
would have never have

The Mental
Health Checklist:
Required but not Suﬃcient
T
The middle-manager at the back of the room
raised his hand.
“I have a question”, he said, breaking the silence.
“Yeah, I just think it’s too vague. What exactly
am I looking for, I mean, what do I have to be
concerned about?”
He and his team had attended a presentation
where we’d been discussing the risk factors that
are known to statistically increase the potential
for suicide.
“I mean, what is it? A divorce? Do I need to be
watching all the divorced men? What about de-
factos? Or is it divorced men with children? The
ones who’ve gotten themselves into the crapper?
Just the ones who give away their cars? Or is it
single blokes of a certain age who get sick? I just
don’t get it.”
He wanted it simplified. He wanted a checklist
for suicide. That was yet to come but he was
impatient. He cared, and he hadn’t processed
yet that what we were giving him was an even
greater tool.
The truth is, humans are complex. We don’t all
work the same way. And so there can’t be a 100%
guarantee that we will get it right every time. But
when it comes to suicide, (or any mental health
issue for that matter) often people are hesitant to
ask about it, in case they have misread the signs -
and at the same time, they don’t want to miss the
signs and not ask. Many don’t even want to have
the conversation at all. Who, ever, does?
And yet we must. With increasing rates of suicide
and mental distress, we need to get better at
having those conversations.
Having an awareness of the potential signs, is
an important aspect of discovery. But there is
no checklist for the signs or risk factors of any
mental health problem that can be used without
another very important tool – a respectful
conversation.
This goes for the professionals too - one of the
very first things a psychology student is taught in
University is that no assessment tool can stand
alone – it needs to be incorporated with an
assessment interview and other data gathering
processes. None of the professionals in the
mental health space diagnose a mental health
problem without asking about what the individual
is experiencing from their own perspective.
The good news? The conversation isn’t complex.
In a peer, family, or colleague relationship, your
role isn’t to diagnose, but to reach out and
commence a conversation that helps to clarify
what needs to happen next.
So what do you need to know to have that
conversation? Here are a few tips to help guide
you:
1. How do you feel?
Our senses do a pretty good job at detecting
emotional variance in others – that’s your mirror
neurons at work. They spark messages in your
brain that create empathy with another person
(and are the reason that yawns are contagious).
If something is telling you that things are ‘not
quite right’ then it can be helpful to explore
that further in a conversation. Does it matter
whether it is a mental health condition, suicidal
thoughts, or simply a bad day? No. Have the
conversation anyway. It shows you have noticed
and that you care.

2. Lean into the discomfort
An often used phrase in the helping professions –
lean into the discomfort – expresses the need for
a supporter to acknowledge the discomfort of the
situation, internally, and to resist the urge to alleviate
it by offering an alternative, or a distraction.
3. Silence
Sometimes the best question is the opportunity
to continue answering the previous one. Allowing
some thinking time after a person responds to
your question is a powerful way to demonstrate
the courage it takes to hear more about what
they have been thinking. Continue to use non-
verbal encouragement, such as nodding and
receptive body language.
4. Show compassion
Even if your concerns have not elicited an
admission of distress, continue to show
compassion. Share that it is common for people
to feel like they are not their normal selves, and
that others have found by accepting help early
they feel a lot better. Let them know that if they
ever feel like things are on top of them that they
can talk to you about it (you’re not going to be
their therapist, but you could help them find the
right support to begin feeling better).
A WARM conversation is better than no
conversation.
And so, having discussed this together as a
group, and taken all participants through the
W.A.R.M. process, a framework for having that
conversation, the middle manager was visibly
relieved. He even looked a little excited! “OK, so
if I just follow the steps, that’s all I need to do?”
That’s right. You don’t have to be the expert, you
don’t have to have all the answers, you just need
to be aware of the signs, and if concerned, know
how to have the conversation.
WMHI provides expert facilitators who
can teach your team to have a W.A.R.M
conversation. Speak to us today about
hosting one of our in-house trainings for
your team.
Contact us at admin@wmhi.com.au

E
1/3ofEmployeesare
Stressed,Anxious,
orDepressed.
By Tania Young
How can Mindfulness help?
Earlier this year, results from an
Australian study of over 3,500
employees across 42 organisations
from different industries found that
one third of the participants were
suffering from some form of mental
disorder. Of those, 36% were suffering
from depression, 33% from anxiety,
and 31% from stress.
Staggeringly, 58% of women and 73%
of males who met the clinical criteria
for depression or anxiety did not know
they had a problem. Only 17% of
participants in the clinical ranges for
depression or anxiety were seeking
help. 47% of employees do not feel
comfortable discussing a mental health
condition with their manager.
The implications for workplaces
include increased absenteeism,
presenteeism, disability claims,
accidents, injuries and illnesses,
grievances and complaints, turnover
and legal implications.
Globally, mental health problems
are estimated to cost workplaces 2.5
trillion US dollars, and that’s
expected to rise to 5 trillion by
2030, according to the World
Health Organization.
What is stress? And how
does it lead to Mental
Health problems?
Everyone feels stressed
from time to time. Stress is
the biological and physical
response to a perceived
threat or danger and is often
described as a feeling of being
overwhelmed or worried. In
modern day society, everyday
stressors include managing
work and family commitments,
work deadlines, financial
pressures and family issues, or
by sudden negative change,
including loss of a loved one
or job, or experiencing trauma.
Not all stress is bad. Stress can
be highly motivating at times
and can enable us to perform
in job interviews, work
presentations etc. However
prolonged periods of stress or
excessive stress can lead to
significant mental and physical
health problems including
depression and anxiety.
Everyday stress can be the
toughest type of stress to
tackle because the source
of the problem tends to be
more constant, and the body
therefore stays in a state of
alarm.
“Between stimulus and
response there is a space. In that
space is our power to choose
our response. In our response lies
our growth and our freedom”
VIKTOR FRANKL

Tania Young
Tania is an experienced
Mindfulness Facilitator who
has delivered training to
organisations across Australia.
Tania is also a Human Resources
professional with almost 10
years experience working for
medium to large corporate
businesses across different
industries in London and Sydney.
Tania combines her a wealth of
HR knowledge and experience
implementing wellbeing
initiatives, to support employee
wellbeing, drive engagement,
performance and productivity.
What is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness expert Jon Kabat-
Zinn defines mindfulness
as the “process of paying
attention, on purpose, to
the present moment, non-
judgmentally”. But what does
this actually mean?
Research from Harvard has
shown that we spend almost
half of our lives distracted, not
living in the present moment,
bemoaning the past or
catastrophizing the future. We
spend very little time living in
the present moment.
Mindfulness is a powerful tool
which can help people to slow
down, and connect with the
present moment. Mindfulness
not only trains people to
experience the world through
our five senses and be more
open to what life has to offer,
it also helps people develop
greater self-awareness and
an opportunity to reflect on
their thoughts and feelings
objectively. This helps to alter
our habitual responses, by
taking a pause and choosing
how we react to a situation.
How Mindfulness can
help reduce stress in the
workplace?
Participants in mindfulness
workshops are surprised to
learn that there is no right way
of practicing mindfulness; it
can be practiced at anytime,
anywhere and in a number of
different ways. Simply taking
a few minutes before going
to sleep, or on your commute
home and focusing on your five
senses, rather than scrolling
through social media or
responding to emails to exercise
your brain, to support your
mental health and wellbeing
could be the small yet essential
change that is needed to help
prevent burning out.
Mindfulness has been
scientifically proven to
improve memory, focus and
concentration, improve our
immune system functioning
and sleep patterns, decrease
ruminative thinking, increase
self-awareness and our ability
to regulate our emotions,
empathise and see things from
other people’s perspectives.
Most importantly – it reduces
stress. Practicing mindfulness
deactivates the amygdala
– (fight or flight response)
responsible for stress, anxiety
and fear and depression.
How? Through a process called
neuroplasticity which is the
brain’s ability to change and
re-wire itself. Improvements
can be seen in as little as
a day however structural
changes to the brain can be
seen on imaging scans after
only 8 weeks of practicing
mindfulness.
Mindfulness is essentially brain
training – the more we practice
tuning into the present,
the better we become. The
more we practice emotional-
regulation, the better we
become. The more we practice
taking a breath before reacting,
the better we become.
Why businesses should be
investing in Mindfulness
A decade ago, one in five
employees were living with a
mental disorder in a given year,
and according to the latest
studies around the world, the
statistics are worsening. To tackle
this issue, it’s important for HR
professionals to offer a wide
range of wellbeing initiatives, as
one size does not fit all.
Mindfulness training is
evidence based education
that has proven effective
in reducing stress, anxiety
and depression, and can be
offered in conjunction with
other organizational wellbeing
initiatives, to improve staff
productivity, performance and
wellbeing.
According to PWC,
organizations that are
dedicated to creating a
mentally healthy workplace,
can expect a positive return on
investment (ROI) of 2.3.

CAN YOU HAVE IT ALL?
Introducingpower couple...Craig & JennyDumnich
O
On first meeting Craig and Jenny they look just
like you and me. Normal. Except they seem to
be high on life. When you get talking to them
you realise this power couple are on a mission
to change the way we approach physical health
and wellbeing, and make the right education and
support available to EVERYONE – anywhere,
anytime.
Both with a background in corporate finance, and
with FIVE growing children, Craig and Jenny are
no stranger to the challenges and demands of
juggling work, family, travel and maintaining their
health and energy levels all at the same time.
And so they’ve developed an online program,
that can essentially be your personal trainer, your
nutritionist and your mindset coach all in one!
And it is taking off around the world.
Our Director of Psychology, Emi Golding, caught
up with Craig and Jenny to find out more. Watch
the video here:
To access the Online Program for 30 days FREE, just Click Here
For more info on the Total Immersion Retreat, Click Here

T
The Workplace
Implications of Family
and Domestic
V
i
o
l
e
n
c
e
There has been a lot of publicity lately around family &
domestic violence leave. Much of this has been driven by
the decision of the Fair Work Commission to include (as of
1 August) a clause in all modern awards providing five days
unpaid leave per annum to all employees, including casuals,
experiencing family and domestic violence.
Across some sectors of the economy, especially in the
public sector, many organisations have already gone further
than the entitlement laid out in this decision.

Family and domestic violence is a complex and
pernicious issue having a significant impact
upon economic productivity. A recent report
commissioned by the Australian government
estimated that the cost of violence against
women and children to the Australian economy
was $22 billion in 2015-16.
While it can affect anyone regardless of gender,
age or socio-economic status, we know that
women are statistically almost three times more
likely than men to have experienced violence by
a partner since the age of 15 (See the Australian
Bureau of Statistics’ 2016 Personal Safety Survey
where 574 600 men reported experiencing
intimate partner violence compared to 1.6 million
women).
There are other studies that indicate that many
experiencing domestic and family violence are
in the workforce and that experience of this
violence can impact things like capacity to get
to work and productivity levels. It may also
spill over into the workplace itself through the
perpetrator sending harassing emails and calls or
actually attending the victim’s workplace. It’s also
important to note that work can serve as a space
away from the abuser, giving the target of such
violence an avenue to escape both isolation and
economic abuse.
These types of considerations mean that apart
from whatever leave you might provide, from
a risk, safety and best practice perspective,
all managers should have some level of
understanding of family and domestic violence
and how to respond to its incidence in the
workplace.
In running workshops and facilitated
discussions on this topic I repeatedly hear
participants express a desire to help colleagues
who they suspect may be the targets of such
violence but report having done nothing because
they didn’t want to “make things worse” or “say
the wrong thing”.
The good news is that you don’t have to be a
clinician or social worker to understand more
about the incidence of family and domestic
violence, possible barriers to disclosure, how to
initiate a discussion on the topic, risk factors,
James Judge, Director, Australian Human
Resource Professionals.
James is also Adjunct Associate Professor
at the University of Canberra and was
formerly Associate Publisher of the
Mandarin, a leading, online daily that
serves as a forum for public sector thought
leadership. He has also worked as a Deputy
Registrar in the court system where he was
responsible for mediating applications for
both Family Violence Orders (FVOs) and
Personal Protection & Workplace Orders
(PPOs) in the ACT.
important legal considerations and to
appreciate what resources and services
exist to help those affected (as well as
perpetrators of such violence).
In conjunction with the author, WHMI
will be providing an online course
for anyone interested in finding out
more about this important topic. To
book an insightful and practical in-
person facilitated discussion to build
your awareness and capacity in this area,
contact the Workplace Mental Health
Institute at admin@wmhi.com.au
“From a risk, safety
and best practice
perspective, all managers
should have some level
of understanding”

Workplace Mental Health eMag - WorkLife October 2018 Issue - Better Workplace Resilience and Wellbeing

Workplace Mental Health eMag - WorkLife October 2018 Issue - Better Workplace Resilience and Wellbeing

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Workplace Mental Health eMag - WorkLife October 2018 Issue - Better Workplace Resilience and Wellbeing