While persuasion can provide initial motivation for change, it has limited ability to create lasting change. True change is a process that takes time, thought, effort and consistent action. People are often persuaded to make resolutions to improve themselves through motivational speeches, but the motivation often fades quickly without action. For real change to occur, one must overcome doubts and feel internally convinced of the need and value of change, rather than being persuaded by external forces. Moments when people turn their lives around are often the culmination of long struggles, not sudden persuasive events, representing a personal readiness for change.

1. The Power of Persuasion?
Most counsellors would agree that when they see a client for the first session
they quickly see what they would benefit from. They can see the change that
would greatly improve their lives and make them happier. Seeing problems and
their solutions in others is not particularly difficult. All of us can spot what we
can’t so easily see in ourselves.
At the time of writing this, we are in “Big Brother” season on TV. Here is a good
example of a group of people very forcefully and sometimes accurately pointing
out each other’s faults but all together failing to see or accept their own. Simply
being told is not enough to persuade us, even when need the change would be
clearly to our benefit.
Can we really be changed by persuasion?
The professional persuaders, that is the advertisement industry has years of
experience and skill in trying to get us to buy products and services. This is a
much more modest goal than the one we have as psychotherapists and
counsellors.
Advertising must work otherwise millions of pounds would not be spent every
day across the whole range of the media. But there is a saying in the industry
that half of that money spent is wasted, the problem is no one knows which half.
It is possible to seduce, tantalize, manipulate, bully or even bribe someone into
doing what we feel is good for them. It has been observed that some counsellers
have misguidedly tried this on their clients, hoping that they could persuade
them to do what they see to be the best thing for them.
We can be persuaded to try a new product or make resolutions to change our
behavior, trying to give up our addictions and bad habits and replace them with
healthier alternatives. But is this the best way to make real change?
Motivational speakers have the power to persuade us, we can become quickly
enthusiastic about making some very sensible changes. But often that motivation
to change fades before we have gone to bed. There is an exciting rush of emotion
when we allow ourselves to be persuaded to become better people or that we
can overcome our emotional problems. We enjoy the potential of change;
catching a glimpse of how much better we would feel, but often without ever
taking the action to actually make that change.
The limited power of persuasion
Persuasion provides a spark of motivation but if there is nothing for it to ignite it
disappears as quickly as it appeared. That sensation can leave us feeling flat and
even depressed. Giving us a sense of failure, which will reduce our confidence
and self-esteem. Because we where not able to do what we felt was so right.

2. Even if it is clearly to our advantage persuasion has very limited success in
creating long term change. I have seen clients go through this cycle of
persuasion, motivation and then in-action each time reducing their ability to
make lasting change, as it reduces the faith they have in themselves to achieve.
Making a lasting change in our behavior to become happier and more fulfilled is
a process that takes time, thought and effort. It is just like losing weight or
getting fit, it’s repeating an action over time to get a result that is often slow in
coming.
There is no quick replacement for consistent action over time.
This requires an emotional resilience to overcome the emotional pain and stress
that comes from giving up old, destructive behaviors before we gain the benefit
of better habits. Only after clearing this stumbling block do we start to feel the
full benefit of positive change.
It is not uncommon to hear stories of how people have had a moment in their
lives when they have turned a corner in their behavior. Like the alcoholic who
refuses their last drink or the gambler who walks out of the betting shop for the
last time.
But this kind of event is often misunderstood; they are not sudden moments of
persuasive power. Rather they are the culmination of months and years of
struggling to change. They descried the moment when the person is finally ready,
the moment the scales have tipped towards a better way of living and realization
that the old behaviors come at too greater a cost.
All the habits and behaviors we acquire over a lifetime are there for a reason
they all have some kind of hook or power over us. They provide us with a
satisfaction or comfort even if it is very fleeting and comes with at a high
emotional cost and painful side effects. If this were not the case why would we
keep these painful habits?
We have to take the time to disconnect ourselves from the power of our
bad and destructive habits.
The persuasive powers that have a lasting and significant impact on our lives are
the ones we generate from within ourselves. When we find a conviction to
change and overcome doubt and feel we deserve better, then we have reached a
starting point for lasting change.
This takes time to process the ideas and arguments we hear from outside to
prepare for a complex and difficult emotional transition within ourselves. The
role of the psychotherapist is to guide a client towards this starting point.
All of us need help them come to the undeniable knowledge of the need to
change our lives for the better, to feel value and worth in ourselves that we
deserve to be happy. Then we have come to an insight and are convinced rather

3. than having been persuaded. We find the power of motivation that comes from
within us rather than from outside of ourselves. We then feel more self-esteem
as we make positive changes for ourselves rather than having been persuaded.
When I see a client for their first session I can quickly see what
they would benefit from.I can see the change that would greatly
improve their lives and make them happier. Seeing problems and
their solutions in others is not particularly difficult.All of us can spot
what we can’t so easily see in ourselves.
At the time of writing this, we are in “Big Brother” seasonon TV.
Here is a good example of a group of people very forcefullyand
sometimesaccurately pointing out each other’s faults but all
together failing to see or accepttheir own. Simply being told is not
enough to persuade us, even when need the change would be
clearly to our benefit.
Can we really be changed by persuasion?
The professionalpersuaders,that is the advertisement industry
has years of experience and skill in trying to get us to buy products
and services.This is a much more modestgoalthan the one we
have as psychotherapists and counsellors.
Advertising must work otherwise millions of pounds would not be
spent every day across the whole range of the media. But there is
a saying in the industry that half of that money spent is wasted, the
problem is no one knows which half.
It is possible to seduce,tantalise, manipulate, bully or even bribe
someone into doing what we feelis good for them. Sadly I have
even come across some counsellors who have misguidedlytried
this on their clients, hoping that they could persuade them to do
what they see would be right for them.
We can be persuaded to try a new productor make resolutions to
change our behaviour trying to give up our addictions and bad
habits and replace them with healthier alternatives. But is this the
bestway to make real change?
Motivational speakers have the power to persuade us, we can
become quicklyenthusiastic about making some very sensible
changes. But often that motivation to change fades before we have
gone to bed. There is an exciting rush of emotion when we allow
ourselves to be persuaded to become betterpeople or that we can
overcome our emotional problems.We enjoy the potential of
change; catching a glimpse of how much better we would feel,but
often without ever taking the action to actually make that change.
The limited power of persuasion

4. Persuasion provides a spark of motivation but if there is nothing for
it to ignite it disappears as quickly as it appeared.That sensation
can leave us feeling flat and even depressed.Giving us a sense of
failure, which will reduce our confidenceand self-esteem.Because
we where not able to do what we felt was so right.
Even if it is clearly to our advantage persuasion has very limited
success increating long term change. I have seenclients go
through this cycle of persuasion, motivation and then in-action
each time reducing their ability to make lasting change, as it
reduces the faith they have in themselves to achieve.
Making a lasting change in our behaviour to become happier and
more fulfilled is a process that takes time, thought and effort.It is
just like losing weight or getting fit, it’s repeating an action over
time to get a result that is often slow in coming.
There is no quick replacementfor consistentaction over time.
This requires an emotional resilience to overcome the emotional
pain and stress that comes from giving up old, destructive
behaviours before we gain the benefit of better habits. Only after
clearing this stumbling block do we start to feelthe full benefitof
positive change.
I have heard many of my clients speak of a moment in their lives
when they have turned a corner in their behaviour. An alcoholic
once told me about the time they ordered a pint of beer, then
looking at it sitting on the bar they decided to walk out of the pub
never to drinking again.
But this kind of event is often misunderstood;they are not sudden
moments of persuasive power. Rather they are the culmination of
months and years of struggling to change. They descriedthe
moment when the personis finally ready, the momentthe scales
have tipped towards a better way of living and realisation that the
old behaviours come at too greater a cost.
All the habits and behaviours we acquire over a lifetime are there
for a reason they all have some kind of hook or power over us.
They provide us with a satisfaction or comforteven if it is very
fleeting and comes with at a high emotional cost and painful side
effects.If this were not the case why would we keep these painful
habits?
We have to take the time to disconnectourselvesfrom the
power of our bad and destructive habits.
The persuasive powers that have a lasting and significant impact
on our lives are the ones we generate from within ourselves.When
we find a conviction to change and overcome doubtand feel we
deserve better, then we have reached a starting point for lasting

5. change.
This takes time to processthe ideas and arguments we hear from
outside to prepare for a complexand difficult emotional transition
within ourselves.The role of the psychotherapistis to guide a
client towards this starting point.
All of us need help them come to the undeniable knowledge of the
need to change our lives for the better, to feelvalue and worth in
ourselves that we deserve to be happy. Then we have come to an
insight and are convinced rather than having beenpersuaded. We
find the power of motivation that comes from within us rather than
from outside of ourselves. We then feelmore self-esteem as we
make positive changes for ourselves rather than having been
persuaded.
Best copy
Most counsellors would agree that when they see many clients for the first time
they quickly see what they would benefit from. They can see the change that
would greatly improve their lives and make them happier. Seeing problems and
their solutions in others is not particularly difficult. All of us can spot what we
can’t so easily see in ourselves.
At the time of writing this, we are in “Big Brother” season on TV. Here is a good
example of a group of people very forcefully and sometimes accurately pointing
out each other’s faults but all together failing to see or accept their own. Simply
being told is not enough to persuade us, even when need the change would be
clearly to our benefit.
Can we really be changed by persuasion?
The professional persuaders, that is the advertisement industry has years of
experience and skill in trying to get us to buy products and services. This is a
much more modest goal than the one we have as psychotherapists and
counsellors.
Advertising must work otherwise millions of pounds would not be spent every
day across the whole range of the media. But there is a saying in the industry
that half of that money spent is wasted, the problem is no one knows which half.
It is possible to seduce, tantalise, manipulate, bully or even bribe someone into
doing what we feel is good for them. It has been observed that some counsellers
have misguidedly tried this on their clients, hoping that they could persuade
them to do what they see to be the best thing for them.

6. We can be persuaded to try a new product or make resolutions to change our
behaviour trying to give up our addictions and bad habits and replace them with
healthier, happier alternatives. But is this the best way to make real change?
Motivational speakers have the power to persuade us, we can quickly become
enthusiastic about making some very sensible changes. But often that motivation
fades before we have gone to bed. There is an exciting rush of emotion when we
allow ourselves to be persuaded to become better people or overcome our
emotional problems. We enjoy the potential of change; catching a glimpse of how
much better we would feel, but then never actually making a change.
The limited power of persuasion
Persuasion provides a spark of motivation but if there is nothing for it to ignite it
disappears as quickly as it appeared. That sensation can leave us feeling flat and
even depressed. Giving us a sense of failure, which will reduce our confidence
and self-esteem because we where not able to do what we felt was right.
Even if it is clearly to our advantage persuasion has very limited success in
creating long term change. Clients in counselling can go through this cycle of
persuasion, motivation and then in-action each time reducing their ability to
make lasting change, as it reduces the faith they have in themselves to achieve.
Making a lasting change in our behaviour to become happier and more fulfilled is
a process that takes time, thought and effort. It is just like losing weight or
getting fit, it’s repeating an action over time to get a result that is often slow in
coming.
There is no quick replacement for consistent action over time.
This requires an emotional resilience to overcome the emotional pain and stress
that comes from giving up old, destructive behaviours before we gain the benefit
of better habits. Only after clearing this stumbling block do we start to feel the
full benefit of positive change
It is not uncommon to hear stories of how people have had a moment in their
lives when they have turned a corner in their behavior. Like the alcoholic who
refuses their last drink or the gambler who walks out of the betting shop for the
last time.
But this kind of event is often misunderstood; they are not sudden moments of
persuasive power. Rather they are the culmination of months and years of
struggling to change. They descried the moment when the person is finally ready,
the moment the scales have tipped towards a better way of living and realisation
that the old behaviours come at too greater a cost.
All the habits and behaviours we acquire over a lifetime are there for a reason
they all have some kind of hook or power over us. They provide us with a
satisfaction or comfort, even if it is very fleeting and comes with at a high

7. emotional cost and painful side effects. If this were not the case why would we
keep these painful habits?
We have to take the time to disconnect ourselves from the power of our
bad and destructive habits.
The persuasive powers that have a lasting and significant impact on our lives are
the ones we generate from within ourselves. When we find a conviction to
change and overcome doubt and feel we deserve better, then we have reached a
starting point for lasting change.
People need help to come to the undeniable knowledge of the need to change
their lives for the better, to feel value and worth in themselves and feel they
deserve to be happy. Then they have come to an insight and are convinced rather
than having been persuaded. Then its the power of motivation that comes from
within us rather than from outside of ourselves. We then feel more self-esteem
as we make positive changes for ourselves rather than having been persuaded by
others.