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UnderstandingOthers
by Demonstration and
Confirmation
I build, strengthen, and restore
working relationships and team dynamism in
organizations.
My blog theconflictjourney.com
highlights my journey and provides insightful
perspectives and practical strategies to the
general public for achieving effective
responses to conflict.
I seek out a deeper meaning of the conflict
experience, and what it offers for both individual
and organizational growth.Gordon White
Principal, Gordon White Consulting
Mediator
Blogger
is the most fundamental requirement
for understanding others in difficult situations.
Listening with the intention to understand
INTRO
CHALLENGES
But maintainingthis positive intention is challenging
Foremost, an intention is abstract
CHALLENGES
which makes it very difficult for most of us to monitor
Secondly, our internal reactivity
CHALLENGES
interferes with our positive intention to understand
ACTIONS
that will contribute to better understanding others
Here are two very concrete actions
ACTION
# 1
Demonstratethat you are listening
Periodically check in with the other person
Say “I would like to be sure I understand you”
Then summarize the other person’s perspective
ACTION
# 1
If you don’t hit the mark,
they may correct you.
That’s okay!
ACTION
# 2
Confirmyour understanding
 Explicitly ask “How well do I understand?”
 If the other person says “You understand,”
move forward
 If they say “Not very well,” ask “What don’t I
understand?”
 After they reply, return to Action # 1
WHY?
Why is this important?
WHY?
Why is this important?
 There is a fundamental human
need to be known and
understood
 Conflict usually threatens
understanding
 Action 1 and Action 2 move
situations forward
IN
SUMMARY
To actualize your intention to
understand:
Demonstrate your listening
Confirm your understanding
WANT
MORE?
Click to read the full blog post
CONNECT
WITH ME
Gordon White Consulting
Gordon White Consulting
@ValueConflict
GCWhite@telus.net

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Understanding Others by Demonstration and Confirmation

  • 2. I build, strengthen, and restore working relationships and team dynamism in organizations. My blog theconflictjourney.com highlights my journey and provides insightful perspectives and practical strategies to the general public for achieving effective responses to conflict. I seek out a deeper meaning of the conflict experience, and what it offers for both individual and organizational growth.Gordon White Principal, Gordon White Consulting Mediator Blogger
  • 3. is the most fundamental requirement for understanding others in difficult situations. Listening with the intention to understand INTRO
  • 4. CHALLENGES But maintainingthis positive intention is challenging
  • 5. Foremost, an intention is abstract CHALLENGES which makes it very difficult for most of us to monitor
  • 6. Secondly, our internal reactivity CHALLENGES interferes with our positive intention to understand
  • 7. ACTIONS that will contribute to better understanding others Here are two very concrete actions
  • 8. ACTION # 1 Demonstratethat you are listening Periodically check in with the other person Say “I would like to be sure I understand you” Then summarize the other person’s perspective
  • 9. ACTION # 1 If you don’t hit the mark, they may correct you. That’s okay!
  • 10. ACTION # 2 Confirmyour understanding  Explicitly ask “How well do I understand?”  If the other person says “You understand,” move forward  If they say “Not very well,” ask “What don’t I understand?”  After they reply, return to Action # 1
  • 11. WHY? Why is this important?
  • 12. WHY? Why is this important?  There is a fundamental human need to be known and understood  Conflict usually threatens understanding  Action 1 and Action 2 move situations forward
  • 13. IN SUMMARY To actualize your intention to understand: Demonstrate your listening Confirm your understanding
  • 14. WANT MORE? Click to read the full blog post
  • 15. CONNECT WITH ME Gordon White Consulting Gordon White Consulting @ValueConflict GCWhite@telus.net