Training, Coaching and Mentoring

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Training, Coaching and Mentoring
Its impact to Personal and
Professional life
1

Dr. Eric Berne
"A game is an ongoing series of complementary
ulterior transactions progressing to a well-
defined, predictable outcome. Descriptively, it
is a recurring set of transactions... with a
concealed motivation... or gimmick.“
- From the book – Games People Play
2

Agenda
• Definitions
• Mentoring VS Coaching
• Ego States
• Parent State
• Adult State
• Child State
• Summary
• How to use this?
• References – Reading List
3

Definitions
4
• Transaction: an agreement, communication, or
movement carried out between separate entities or
objects, often involving the exchange of items of value,
such as information, goods, services, and money.
• Training: Activity leading to a skilled behavior
• Mentoring: refers to a personal developmental
relationship in which a more experienced or more
knowledgeable person helps a less experienced or less
knowledgeable person.
• Coaching: method of directing, instructing and training
a person or group of people, with the aim to achieve
some goal or develop specific skills.

Mentoring VS Coaching
5
Mentor Coach
Focus Individual Performance
Role Facilitator with no agenda Specific agenda
Relationship Self selecting Comes with the job
Source of influence Perceived value Position
Personal returns Affirmation/learning Teamwork/performance
Arena Life Task related

Transactional Analysis
6
A model that explains:
• People think like they do
• People act like they do
• People interact/communicate with others
2 Basic Principles:
• The Contractual Method
• Open Communication
Philosophy/Assumptions:
• People are OK; thus each person has validity, importance, equality of respect
• Everyone (with only few exceptions, such as the severely brain-damaged) has the capacity to think
• People decide their story and destiny, and these decisions can be changed
Our Brain:
• Determines how we think and act
• Acts like a tape recorder while recording:
• Events
• Associated Feelings
• Has 3 distinct Ego Types:
• Parent
• Adult
• Child

Ego States - 1
7

Ego State - 2
8

• Thoughts, Feelings attitudes, behavioral patterns
based on messages or lessons learned from parents
and other 'parental' or authoritarian sources
• Shoulds and should nots; oughts and out nots; always
and never
• Prejudicial views (not based on logic or facts) on things
such as:
– Religion, Dress, sales people, traditions, work, products,
money, raising children, companies
– Nurturing views (sympathetic, caring views)
– Critical views (fault finding, judgemental, condescending
views)
Parent Ego State
9

Adult Ego State
10
• Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral
patterns based on objective analysis of
information (data, facts)
• Make decisions based on logic, computations,
probabilities, etc. (not emotion)

Child Ego State
11
• Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral
patterns based on child-like emotions,
impulses, feelings we have experienced
• Child-like examples:
– Impulsive, happy, curious, self-centerd, pleasure
seeking, eager to please, angry, rebellious, fearful,
happy

Ego Portraits
12
• People have favorite, preferred ego state,
depicted by larger circle in a diagram
P
A
C
Parent
P
A
C
Adult
P
A
C
Child

Human Interaction Analysis
13
• A transaction = any interaction or communication
between two people
• People send and receive messages out of and into
their different ego states
• How people say something (what others hear?)
just as important as what is said
• Types of communication, interactions:
– Complementary
– Crossed
– Ulterior

Complementary
14
• Person A: What time you got?
• Person B: I have got 10:00
A
C
P
Person A
A
C
P
Person B
A
C
P
Person A
A
C
P
Person B
• Person A: You are late again
• Person B: I am sorry. It wont
happen again

Crossed
15
A
C
P
Person A
A
C
P
Person B
• Person A: What time you got?
• Person B: There is a clock on the wall,
why don’t you figure it out yourself?
• Person A: You are late again!
• Person B: Yeah, I know, I had a flat
tire.
A
C
P
Person A
A
C
P
Person B

Ulterior
16
A
C
P
Person A
A
C
P
Person B
Interactions, responses, actions which are different from those
explicitly stated
• Person A: You are late again! (I was missing you
so much)
• Person B: I had meetings – cant you see how
tired I am? (I am sorry, but I understand that you
miss me)
A
C
P
Person A
A
C
P
Person B
• Person A: How about coming to my
room and listening to some music?
(Actually, I want to have fun – don’t you
too?)

I am OK
17

Summary
• Every person has all the three ego state
• Depending on the situation/transaction, one
ego state dominates over the other ego state
18

How to use this?
• Typically –
– Training = Child Ego State
– Coaching = Adult Ego State
– Mentoring = Parent Ego State
• Understand the process of TA to do a better
training, coaching and mentoring
19

Agreement
Alignment is the process of synthesizing varied opinions and
viewpoints on a subject.
A flock of geese does both -- can a modern organization
work in the same way without stifling creativity?
Getting alignment on "why we're doing this is not about
getting everyone to see "the right answer" so much as
incorporating everyone's viewpoint into a "shared vision" of
what that means.
Cultural alignment can mean "same thing" as in, "we are all
driving toward the same goals" (true north) or it can mean
"same way" as in, "we do things consistently."
20

References – Reading List
Games People Play – Dr. Eric Berne
I am OK --- You are OK – Dr. Tom Harris
Born to Win – Dr. Dorothy Jongeward
21

Welcome!
22

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