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Developing child's self esteem

  1. 1. ‘Developing Child’s Self Esteem’
  2. 2. What is Self Esteem? Self esteem is: • The way an individual sees themselves and their worth. • Partly formed by an individual’s own perspective and expectations • Partly formed by the perspectives and expectations of significant people in a person’s life.
  3. 3. Children with high self esteem tend to: • Enjoy interacting with others • Be comfortable in social settings • Enjoy group and independent activities • Work towards finding a solution to challenges without giving up quickly • Know their strengths and weaknesses, and accept them
  4. 4. Low self esteem can lead to: • Poor academic performance • Having a hard time making or keeping friends • Being less able to learn and focus • Being vulnerable to peer pressure • Avoiding challenges
  5. 5. COMPONENTS OF SELF ESTEEM There are 5 components of Self Esteem  Sense of security  Sense of identity  Sense of belonging  Sense of purpose  Sense of personal competence
  6. 6. 1. Sense of security Children who feel secure are Children who lack feelings of security are  Responsible  Respectful of authority  Self-disciplined  Trusting of adults  Willing to risk failure  Reliable  Free from anxiety  Confident  Nervous  Excessively shy and fearful  Distrusting  Defiant and disrespectful  Stressed  Reluctant to take risks  Indecisive
  7. 7. 2. Sense of identity Children having positive sense of identity are Children lacking positive sense of identity are  Aware of personal worth and show self acceptance  Self controlled  Emotionally stable and express emotions in a healthy way  Caring & empathetic  Respectful and tolerant of others  Anxious to please others  Attention seekers  Critical of others  Hypersensitive  Likely to throw tantrums or even engage in anti-social behaviour (lying, cheating, stealing)  Not likely to take pride in work they do and spend little effort to succeed
  8. 8. 3. Sense of belonging Children with strong sense of belonging Children lacking feelings of belonging  Have good listening skills  Show good social skills  Feel valued by others  Resist peer pressure  Enjoy sharing with others  Contribute to welfare of others  Demonstrate leadership skills and are good team players  Feel rejected or isolated  Are easily misled and find it hard to say “no”  Lack patience with others  Need to be first all the time  Hate to share with others  Bully or tease others  Brag or boast  Show cruelty towards animals
  9. 9. 4. Sense of purpose Children having a strong sense of purpose Children lacking a sense of purpose  Show intellectual curiosity  Show integrity and ethical behaviour  Are self motivated  Have clarity of purpose and vision for their future  Show passion for the work they do  Have an ability to take risks  Lack motivation  Have few real interests  Are disorganized and often waste time  Show truant behaviour  Seek thrills; experiment with drugs or alcohol
  10. 10. 5. Sense of personal competence Children with personal competence Children who lack feelings of competence  Take personal accountability  Have self-assessment skills  Show resilience and perseverance  Have good decision making skills  Are independent  Maintain a positive outlook  Feel empowered  Make poor decisions  Blame others for their failures  Feel overwhelmed and get easily discouraged  Believe they are either lucky or unlucky  Lack judgment and depend on others for direction  Often fail to complete projects
  11. 11. 1. Provide a safe environment for your children to learn, grow, and tackle appropriate challenges and risks. 2. Encourage exercise to maintain healthy body image. 3. Encourage the joining of clubs, teams. or organizations to enhance a sense of community and belonging. 4. Let them know that it is OK to experience failure or loss. 5. Give them jobs to do and chores to complete to ensure responsibility, pride in achievements. and a feeling of independence. 6. Help them learn how to set and achieve goals. 7. Encourage them to volunteer, help other people, and share their talents. 8. Parents can continue to give love, attention, and affection even when you think they don’t want it. 9. Allow them to sort out and resolve conflicts themselves. 10.Be a good role model. Tips for parents to build their child’s self esteem
  12. 12. 1) Be available to children. 2) Listen without making judgements. 3) Share yourself with them 4) Emphasize similarities. 5) Be real and don’t pretend. 6) Be careful with your negative feelings. 7) Don’t embarrass children. 8) Be aware you are a model To keep in mind always
  13. 13. •When parents do everything for their children, that inadvertently teaches children that they are not capable of doing things for themselves. •When parents rescue their children too often, children never learn how to face life’s bumps. •When parents praise their children for every minor achievement, children stop believing in their praise altogether. •When parents are constantly telling their kids how to do things better, they never get to celebrate what they already do well. •When parents force their kids to stay in activities that they don’t want to be in, it has the potential to hurt their self- confidence. When parents constantly criticise their children for every small mistakes, there self esteem is effected. Behaviour of parents that actually hurts developing self-esteem
  14. 14. anubhuti@bcgschools.org For further questions and queries, You can mail us at:

Editor's Notes

  • Research on self Esteem shows that when a person’s perceived self is close to their ideal self, they have higher self esteem.
     Perceived self is how a person sees themselves.
    Ideal self is how a person would like to be, or the best version of themselves
     “So if i think i am far from the best version of myself, i don’t feel great about myself and i have low self esteem or unhealthy self esteem. If i think i am close the best version of myself, i feel much better and have higher self esteem.
  • Sense of security
    To develop feelings of security, children must be treated with respect. Have clear rules and expectations that are consistently enforced, and believe they have the personal power to have some control over their own lives. They also need to learn to take responsibility for their actions and accept the consequences that might result.
  • The sense of identity is important because children behave in ways that are consistent with how they see themselves. Those who have positive feelings about themselves tend to relate to others in positive ways. On the other hand, those who feel inadequate or who have negative self-images are apt to relate to others in more negative ways.
  • We all have the need to belong, to feel accepted and supported by others. We need to feel that we are a part of a group of peers or an organization that is larger than we are. This need is first met by being part of a family that cares. To achieve this need, children must learn social skills necessary to work cooperatively and in harmony with others, how to be a friend and how to support others.
  • Is to feel that the work we do and the life we lead has meaning and significance. We have called this a sense of purpose it comes about when children see the relevance of what they are doing and when their efforts are directed to what is significant to them. It helps when they develop a vision of what they want to achieve or what kind of person they wish to become. It also involves developing a set of values or standards to live by.
  • Feeling that one is competent to cope with the challenges of life is termed as the sense of personal competence. It requires a sense of independence and multiple experiences over time as well as the skills, knowledge, and attitudes necessary to be successful.
  • when we agree to be available to a child try to remember to present oneself in such a way that the child  knows  we choose to be available specifically to him / her for that period of time. Children’s self-esteem grows when they know you care enough to be with them.
    children who want to talk about what they are doing and how they are feeling, stay present  to  them  without  offering advice.  Be simply a good listener without judging them.  Listening heals broken self-esteem; a healthy relationship develops between children and adults who listen.
    mutual – children’s self-esteem grows when they know  you  value  them  enough  to  share some part of yourself with them.

    children’s self-esteem grows when they feel a sense  of  oneness with other people they like and admire.
    be open and be yourself as much as possible.  You don’t have to pretend you know more than you do.  If children  feel  you  are real, then perhaps they can let some of the real them show.
    Don’t Embarrass children - embarrassment  can  be  very  destructive for a child’s budding self-esteem.
    children often need a Role model fowhen they feel they can be helpful to your  responding to experiences, and they may look to you to show  the way. Be sure to give them feedback when they do help you.

  • when we agree to be available to a child try to remember to present oneself in such a way that the child  knows  we choose to be available specifically to him / her for that period of time. Children’s self-esteem grows when they know you care enough to be with them.
    children who want to talk about what they are doing and how they are feeling, stay present  to  them  without  offering advice.  Be simply a good listener without judging them.  Listening heals broken self-esteem; a healthy relationship develops between children and adults who listen.
    mutual – children’s self-esteem grows when they know  you  value  them  enough  to  share some part of yourself with them.

    children’s self-esteem grows when they feel a sense  of  oneness with other people they like and admire.
    be open and be yourself as much as possible.  You don’t have to pretend you know more than you do.  If children  feel  you  are real, then perhaps they can let some of the real them show.
    Don’t Embarrass children - embarrassment  can  be  very  destructive for a child’s budding self-esteem.
    children often need a Role model fowhen they feel they can be helpful to your  responding to experiences, and they may look to you to show  the way. Be sure to give them feedback when they do help you.


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