The Art of Listening Have you ever heard anyone described as being a good listener? If so, what did you interpret that to mean? Most of us can hear noises, sounds, words, sentences, and exclamations, but do we hear, really hear, the meaning behind those words, sounds, and noises? There is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is one of the five senses (sight, taste, smell, touch, and hearing). It is the actual, physical process by which your ear picks up sounds. Listening is the act of comprehending what you have heard. Active listening is defined as hearing, comprehending, analyzing, and preparing to respond. Listening also happens when we read. The difference between reading and comprehending is the same difference that exists between hearing and listening. You will find the ideas and suggestions discussed in this lesson are applicable to both listening to the spoken word and comprehending the written word. Listening is the other half of the communication duo. Technically, the communication process is not complete unless the words are heard or read. Many people use the word “communication” to refer to writing or speaking, but that is only half of the process. Have you ever sent an e-mail to someone only to find that a few hours later when you accessed your e-mail it was returned to you with a message that stated it was undeliverable? Have you communicated with anyone? Although you may have sent a wonderfully written message, if it was not received you have not successfully communicated with anyone. Another example of incomplete communication would be having a person delivering a speech to a room without an audience. In either situation, you are sending or delivering a message, but no one is receiving or hearing it, and no communication has happened. Listening actively is the receiving part of the communication process. Now here is the amazing part, the active listener after receiving the message becomes the sender. How can that be? In person, the listener becomes the sender by responding to the message without having to ask that person to repeat the message. The response could be anything from a written message, to a few spoken words, to a nod of the head. Listening skillfully not only guarantees that you understand the message, it also shows respect for the speaker. Having respect and understanding for the message is showing respect for the person speaking; these are the traits so often linked to being successful in our professional and personal relationships. Listening Skills Listening is a powerful skill, and it is a skill that you can learn. Active listening starts with conscious effort to refocus your mind and body. To listen actively you must focus all your attention on the listening process. Have you ever talked to someone on the phone who was watching TV? Sometimes you know that person is not listening to you because they often ask you to repeat what you said, or they might give you answers that do not correlate to ...

1. The Art of Listening
Have you ever heard anyone described as being a good listener?
If so, what did you interpret that to mean? Most of us can hear
noises, sounds, words, sentences, and exclamations, but do we
hear, really hear, the meaning behind those words, sounds, and
noises? There is a difference between hearing and listening.
Hearing is one of the five senses (sight, taste, smell, touch, and
hearing). It is the actual, physical process by which your ear
picks up sounds. Listening is the act of comprehending what
you have heard. Active listening is defined as hearing,
comprehending, analyzing, and preparing to respond.
Listening also happens when we read. The difference between
reading and comprehending is the same difference that exists
between hearing and listening. You will find the ideas and
suggestions discussed in this lesson are applicable to both
listening to the spoken word and comprehending the written
word.
Listening is the other half of the communication duo.
Technically, the communication process is not complete unless
the words are heard or read. Many people use the word
“communication” to refer to writing or speaking, but that is
only half of the process. Have you ever sent an e-mail to
someone only to find that a few hours later when you accessed
your e-mail it was returned to you with a message that stated it
was undeliverable? Have you communicated with anyone?
Although you may have sent a wonderfully written message, if
it was not received you have not successfully communicated
with anyone. Another example of incomplete communication
would be having a person delivering a speech to a room without
an audience. In either situation, you are sending or delivering a
message, but no one is receiving or hearing it, and no

2. communication has happened.
Listening actively is the receiving part of the communication
process. Now here is the amazing part, the active listener after
receiving the message becomes the sender. How can that be? In
person, the listener becomes the sender by responding to the
message without having to ask that person to repeat the
message. The response could be anything from a written
message, to a few spoken words, to a nod of the head. Listening
skillfully not only guarantees that you understand the message,
it also shows respect for the speaker. Having respect and
understanding for the message is showing respect for the person
speaking; these are the traits so often linked to being successful
in our professional and personal relationships.
Listening Skills
Listening is a powerful skill, and it is a skill that you can learn.
Active listening starts with conscious effort to refocus your
mind and body. To listen actively you must focus all your
attention on the listening process. Have you ever talked to
someone on the phone who was watching TV? Sometimes you
know that person is not listening to you because they often ask
you to repeat what you said, or they might give you answers
that do not correlate to the topic of your conversation, or they
do not provide a response in a timely manner.
Listening requires you to engage the speaker using all three
modalities: visual, auditory, and body language. This requires
the listener to block all distractions, including: noises in the
room, thoughts of other topics, and even the furniture and/or
decorations in the room. The focus is completely directed
toward the speaker or on the written word. This active
engagement also requires that you offer both verbal and
nonverbal encouragement to the communicator. Verbal
encouragement requires the use of words, phrases, and
questions. Words that assure the speaker you are listening and

3. encourage further discourse are, “Yes. Oh. Really. Uh huh.”
Listening phrases include, “I know. Tell me more. What
happened next? You did?” The use of questions in listening is
essential to the listening process. They may be simple questions
like, “Why did that happen? Who said that? What did you do
then? When was this?” or they may be questions that probe for
additional information or assist the speaker to come to a
conclusion. Examples of these types of questions include, "Why
do you think that happened? How did you come to that
conclusion? How did you handle this situation? Do you have a
difference of opinion in this decision? Are there any important
areas that I've missed in this process?"
The next time you are in a position to listen, practice these good
listening skills.
· Stop what you are doing
· Focus on the speaker
· Make eye contact
· Watch their movements carefully
· Understand their body language
· Listen to the words
· Strive to catch the primary purpose of what they are saying the
first time they say it
· Make mental notes about what is happening
· Seek clarification by asking questions to show that you were
listening
At the conclusion of the conversation, analyze and summarize
what they have said and then reiterate their message asking for
verification to determine your full understanding.
Practice these skills and you will become an active listener.
Over time, these skills will become a part of your personal and
professional communication process. The addition of active
listening to your set of “soft skills” will further enhance your
professional image.
Active Response

4. Choosing your Response
Most messages require a response to one degree or another.
Your listening skills are critical in these instances. There are
two types of responses: active listening responses and reactive
listening responses.
What is the difference between the two?
Actively responding means that you are listening to the speaker
and mentally noting any areas that you would like to respond. It
also means expecting the unexpected.
Being reactive means responding to the speaker before he or she
finishes speaking or responding automatically or emotionally
rather than clarifying the statements being made to identify
what the true message being conveyed was. You may have
experienced a situation where the response someone made
would have been different if he or she had waited until the
speaker had finished speaking. When someone interrupts you
while you are speaking, or when someone formulates a response
while you are still speaking, it is obvious that this person is not
actively listening to what you have to say. When this happens,
the person is sending a message that what you have to say is not
as important as what he or she has to say.
Think about which type of responder you are. Are you an active
responder or a reactive responder?
Decide today to always be proactive in your active responses
and your reactions. So, how can you do that?
· Prepare ahead of time
· Stop a moment and think before you respond
· Stay in control
· Realize that how you respond can influence the results of the
communication
· In some circumstances, your best response could be non-verbal
rather than verbal
· Avoid responses that might escalate negativity

5. Using Electronic Communication
Electronic communication requires a different kind of
“listening.” In view of the fact that electronic communication is
so "black and white,"� it is much easier to misinterpret the
message. In electronic communication we cannot use tone of
voice or body language to enhance understanding of the
message; however, the formatting of the electronic message will
impact how the message is received.
You may or may not know that authors are writing books about
e-mail etiquette to assist writers who use electronic
communication. This concern about electronic communication
has even created a new word in the dictionary: netiquette … the
etiquette of the Internet.
Actually many of the misunderstandings that happen in
electronic communication are avoidable if we apply what we
have talked about in this week's lecture and follow a few
additional suggestions.
http://www.albion.co m/netiquette/corerules.html
When you receive and read an e-mail message, you hear the
words in your head. Sometimes, as a result of hearing those
words, we may also hear more than the actual message implies.
You can only assume if the sender was happy or angry when he
or she wrote the message. The attitude of the sender is assumed
from the choice of written words, the font, the type size, and the
placement of the words in the message.
Consider these two areas.
1. Is the message formal or informal?

6. If the message is written in a formal tone and following a set
format then your response should be the same. Do not treat all
e-mail messages equally. Just as your language should change to
fit certain situations, your e-mail language should change as
well. Don’t answer your supervisor’s e-mail in the same
language and tone you would answer your friend’s e-mail.
2. What is your immediate perception of the tone of the
message?
Depending on your mood when you read an e-mail message, an
e-mail message can easily appear to be inflammatory. When you
receive a message that appears inflammatory and causes you to
react strongly, take a step back and be sure you are reading
what the sender intended you to understand in that message. Try
to consider what the sender was thinking when he or she created
the message.
If your perception of the e-mail is that the message had an
angry tone, then before you reply, ask yourself these questions:
· What is the intention of the message? Mentally make note of
your reaction.
· What caused your reaction?
· Was your reaction based on the words of the message, a result
of an assumption based on the sender, or from the mood you are
in at the time you read the message?
Consider these general guidelines when you are responding and
sending electronic messages:
1. Be sure to check that you are sending, replying, or
forwarding your e-mail message to the intended individual who
should receive your message and that it is not being sent to an
entire group of people who were listed in the original e-mail,
unless that is your intention.
2. Decide whether or not all of the e-mails that may be attached
to what you want to send should be sent to everyone along with
the message.

7. 3. Be sure you have used language and tone to match the
situation. Your tone should be different for formal and informal
messages.
4. You should not respond immediately to messages that cause
you to react negatively. Follow these steps when replying to a
negative e-mail to ensure a response that is appropriate and well
received:
· Write your response
· Save the message as a draft and set it aside for 10 minutes
· Do another activity for 10 minutes
· Go back to the message in 10 minutes
· Does your response read the same to you as it did when you
wrote it
· Rewrite it as necessary
· Then, and only then, click on the send button
Instant Messaging
Instant messaging provides a fast and efficient method of
communication. It is almost as immediate as a voice-to-voice
conversation. Because the communication occurs so fast, words
are often misspelled, with little or no attention being paid to
using correct grammar. Rapid-fire communication can be easily
misinterpreted. There is even a well documented shortened
language used in instant messaging.
Consider the following guidelines when communicating by
instant messaging:
1. Think before you write.
2. Think even a bit longer before replying to a message that has
caused you to experience a negative reaction to the message.
3. Most of all recognize when the message has become so
complex that it might be best to talk by phone instead of instant
messenger.
4. Lastly, you may have to trade speed for clarity and tact; make
your choices wisely.

8. Meeting Tips
Most companies have concluded that the outcomes produced
through meetings and teamwork are an integral part of their
business. Meeting formats and styles are different from
business-to-business.
Today's meeting might involve five people in a small, crowded
conference room, whereas another company's idea of a meeting
consists of its members in various locations, who dial in from
their respective locations for a teleconferencing or Web-ex
meeting. A Web-ex meeting is a meeting where the participants
connect to a specific URL or web link. The URL or web link
displays the participants virtually and all the participants see
the presentation documents (i.e., PowerPoint slides) on the
URL. Meanwhile, everyone can hear the speaker as he or she
presents the material. This type of meeting magnifies the
importance of planning and preparation on behalf of the
facilitator. Meetings can be important events where people
come together to report, discuss, and problem solve, if they are
carefully planned. The success of the outcome will depend on
the facilitator's ability to arrive prepared and lead effectively.
Unfortunately, sometimes when people hear the words, "We are
having a meeting," they aren't always excited to get together
with their co-workers. Why? Most likely they have attended
more than enough poorly planned and poorly run meetings.
The following tips are a common sense approach to leading
effective meetings. You might find that they are a compilation
of many of the skills we have already practiced.
Call a meeting only with a clear objective and plan on how to
reach the objective. Planning a meeting carries the obligation to
respect and make good use of everyone's time. Make certain that
if you are calling the meeting you have done your homework by
defining the goal of the meeting and established how this
meeting will achieve the intended outcome. Also, invite only

9. those individuals who are needed to accomplish the set
objective(s). If miscellaneous individuals attend the meeting
and it's not relevant to them, your meeting will give way to a
talk session with a diminished view of importance.
Schedule the meeting at an appropriate time and with
appropriate notice for your business. If the meeting format is a
video conference it's important to take into account time zones
and the work schedules of all attendees. It might be best to call
an early morning meeting before everyone begins working on
their own projects or in the late afternoon when everyone needs
to switch gears and refocus. However, always attempt to make
certain the meeting will be well attended by giving adequate
notice for the meeting and asking for a commitment from those
who are invited.
Create an agenda, and allocate a time limit for each item. Prior
to the meeting, you may want to inquire if anyone has an item
to add to the agenda, but be careful not to include too many
topics in one meeting. Keep in mind your coworkers' work load
and the amount of time the meeting will take them away from
their day's work. A good rule of thumb to follow would be to
keep a meeting's maximum length to 1 hour. Schedule the items
for the agenda up to a maximum of 45 minutes, leaving 15
minutes for any overage on a particular item. Usually the
excitement and focus of the group will diminish after one hour
and the results of the meeting may not be representative of
everyone's best ideas.
Send out the agenda at least a day before the meeting. This
gives everyone a chance to mentally and physically prepare, and
to put any needed documentation for the meeting in order.
Remind everyone to come to the meeting properly prepared.
Assign someone to take minutes. Having an assigned note taker
will alleviate any forgotten action items. It will also allow you
to facilitate and lead without worrying about recording
important items.
Set-up the room and choose a seat where everyone will be able
to see you before the participants arrive. A good tip: Leave only

10. one extra chair in the room so that participants will be forced to
sit in close proximity to each other and the presenter. Proper
meeting layout can influence the tone of the meeting and how
the group interacts with each other and the meeting's agenda.
Greet the participants when they arrive. For technology
conferencing meetings, always plan to be the first person on the
call and welcome each caller. Individuals appreciate their
presence being acknowledged and welcomed. An
acknowledgement in their attendance will also encourage a
feeling of ownership and professionalism in their participation
during the meeting.
Start the meeting on time. This may seem like an obvious
requirement, but not starting on time is one of the biggest
mistakes managers make. Under normal circumstances,
meetings should not be detained for non-emergencies or to wait
for all participants to be present. Waiting sends a message that
"it's okay to be late for this meeting" and encourages tardiness
to future meetings. Coming to the meeting late will then become
an accepted practice.
Start the meeting by reviewing the agenda items, then begin
with topic one. Nothing is more distracting than to have an
agenda and to not use it. Following the agenda gives the
attendees a sense of control, especially when they know what to
expect and what is coming up next.
Allow an adequate timeframe for discussion that allows fair
speaking time to most parties, sides, and angles. When the
timeframe for discussion has been reached, some polite options
to move the meeting along are:
A. Give everyone time to think and add it to the next meeting's
agenda.
B. Determine if the topic should be tasked to a sub-committee
for further consideration.
C. Use the information given and make a decision about the
action needed.
Manage the discussion by carefully observing the behaviors of
the participants. An effective facilitator will know when a

11. conflict is brewing or when boredom has set in. For additional
information on how to handle side conversations and
inappropriate or angry comments by one or more individuals or
to identify and stop a person who monopolizes the conversation,
read Joan Lloyd's "Best Strategies for Leading Effective
Meetings."
Give a break as needed, but set a specific time to start again.
This practice shows the participants that you have respect for
their time and busy schedules.
Avoid intimidating or influencing the participants' opinions.
Entertain all ideas equally and discourage dominant and critical
comments.
When the meeting is ending, conduct a wrap up. Summarize the
agreed upon action items and recap those items that have been
tabled for further discussion. Some leaders like to go around the
room and ask for any closing remarks or feedback about the
meeting.
Provide the meeting minutes within a few days. Send the
information while it is still fresh in everyone's mind. This will
allow the participants to see the direction the group is taking on
a particular project or problem.
Finally, follow up on any agreed action items. Participants
leaving a meeting involves them returning to their other work.
Action items can easily get buried under other responsibilities.
Either you or someone appointed by you should be responsible
for the follow up of ensuring that the agreed action items are
carried out.