2. CONFLICT
An expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive
incompatible goals, scarce resources, & interference from the other party in
achieving their goals.
Expressed Struggle – Both parties must know that a problem exists before they
are in conflict.
Perceived Incompatible Goals – All conflicts look as if one party’s gain would be
another’s loss. People fail to see mutually satisfying solutions.
Perceived Scarce Resources – People believe there is not enough resources to go
around. Money, time, affection.
3. CONFLICT STYLES
Cultural differences – Collectivist cultures value avoidance,
accommodation, and face saving tactics. Individualist cultures value
aggressive tactics.
Avoiding (Lose-Lose)
• Ignoring or staying away from conflict
• Keeps the peace temporarily but leads to unsatisfying relationships
• Avoiders have low concern for their own needs & the needs of others
• Sometimes OK if you are in harms way or the relationship does not
matter.
4. CONFLICT STYLES Continued…
Accommodating (Lose-Win)
“We will do it your way”
• Allow others to have their way rather than asserting your own viewpoint
• Low concern for themselves & high concern for others
• We will do it your way outcomes result.
• The motivation of the accommodator is significant – is it genuine?
5. CONFLICT STYLES Continued…
Competing (Win-Lose)
• High concern for self & low concern for others
• People compete when they perceive an either or scenario…either I get what I
want or you get what you want.
• Power is the distinguishing characteristic in win-lose problem solving because it
is necessary to defeat an opponent to get what you want.
• If physical power is used this can be problematic.
• Supervisory power (grades, promotions, etc.)
• Some competition in relationships is healthy but it can breed aggression
6. TYPES OF AGGRESSION
Direct – Expressing criticism or demand that threatens
• Examples: Character attacks, ridicule, swearing, threats
• Recipients feel embarrassed , inadequate, hopeless, depressed
• A significant connection between verbal & physical aggression
Passive – Expressing hostility in an obscure or manipulative way
• When people have feelings of resentment or anger that they are unable or
unwilling to express directly.
• Maintaining the front of kindness while using a subtle method of aggression
7. CONFLICT STYLES Continued…
Compromising (Partial Lose-Lose)
• Gives both people at least some of what they want but both sacrifice some of
their goals.
• It may be the best result in some situations if everyone is satisfied with the
outcome.
Collaborating (Win-Win)
• A high degree of concern for themselves & for others
• The focus is on “our way” & everybody gets what they want
• Creatively finding the right answer for your unique problem
8. Which style do you use?
Consider these factors…
1. The Relationship – Is there a power difference?
2. The Situation- different situations call for different conflict styles
3. The other person
4. Your Goals
