How Collins Aerospace Uses VisibleThread to Addd an Element of Fun to the Proposal Development Process.

1. How Collins Aerospace Uses VisibleThread
to Add an Element of Fun to the Proposal
Development Process
Words Matter

2. Collins Aerospace
● United Technologies Corporation (UTC) and Rockwell Collins merged in 2018
● Collins Aerospace is now one of the largest aerospace industry suppliers in the world
● Business Units:
● Aerostructures
● Avionics
● Interiors
● Mechanical Systems
● Mission Systems
● Power & Controls

3. Capture Center – Mission Systems
Capture Manager: Focuses on customer’s budget, risk, competitive analysis, capture strategy, price to win, the
customer’s view of best value, and implementing the capture strategy.
Proposal Manager: Focuses on compliance, responsiveness, keeping the proposal strategy aligned with the
capture strategy, and proposal strategy implementation. Manages a team to produce a persuasive proposal
within set deadlines.
Graphics Designer: Works with teams to develop persuasive graphics for the proposal.

4. Proposal Development Process – Based on Shipley
Environmental
Workshop
Blue White Pink Red Gold
Environmental Workshop: Identify competition, SWOT, and customer MIRs. Develop customer affinity and contact plans.
Blue: Non-Advocate Review (NAR) of competitive analysis and face-off.
Strategy Workshop: Workshops to identify win strategies, strengths/weaknesses, and strategic intent.
White: NAR of strengths/weaknesses, strategies, and messages.
Pink: NAR of section-level strategy maps and storyboards.
Wall Walk: Mid-point review of writing to ensure strategies and theme statements are incorporated (if time allows).
Red: NAR of final proposal materials against the customer evaluation criteria.
Gold: Review of final artifacts before submission.
Wall WalkStrategy
Workshop

5. Common Issues
● Authors are juggling 3+ jobs during the proposal process
● Authors don’t know where/how to start writing
● Authors have trouble meeting deadlines
● Multiple authors = multiple voices in writing
● Proposals have not been ‘customer ready’ by Red team

6. Writer’s Kickoff
● Review Strategy
● Schedule
● Writing Assignments
● Focusing on the Customer Image

7. Focusing on the Customer
● Benefits before features
● Example 1
● Instead of: Our Easy Link™ software will reduce your cost.
● Try: Reduce your training time from four hours to one hour with the intuitive graphical user
interface of our Easy Link™ software.
● Example 2
● Instead of: We will use the CAAS 24/7 service desk to lower cost.
● Try: To lower cost, we will use the CAAS 24/7 service desk.
● Support all claims – Provide benefit, measurement, proof
● Example:
● Instead of: Reduce order entry cost by installing e-Entry™ order entry software.
● Try: Reduce order handling cost 30 percent by installing e-Entry™ software. Since installing the
software in 2006, nine major customers have saved at least as much year-over-year.

8. Adding an Element of Fun
Old Writer’s Kickoff
● Review Strategy
● Schedule
● Writing Assignments
● Focusing on the Customer
Image
New Writer’s Kickoff
● Review Strategy
● Schedule
● Writing Assignments
● Writing Tips & Tricks

9. Shorter Attention Span Than A Goldfish
● 2015 Microsoft Study
● Eight second attention span
● Evaluators glance rather than skim
● Attract Reader’s Eye
● Structure main points for visibility
● Break up dense text
● Add visuals

10. Wall Walk Expectations
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● Time & Date
● Write sections to 60% completion
● Insert graphics or placeholders
● All authors and pursuit leadership will
read all sections during this timeslot

11. Adding an Element of Fun
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New Wall Walk Expectations
● Time & Date
● Write sections so VisibleThread
Readability Report shows no “red”
categories
● Insert graphics or placeholders
● All authors and pursuit leadership will
read all sections during this timeslot
Old Wall Walk Expectations
● Time & Date
● Write sections to 60% completion
● Insert graphics or placeholders
● All authors and pursuit leadership will
read all sections during this timeslot

12. VisibleThread Readability Report
Image
● The four colored boxes (at the top of page 1) indicate overall health of the document
● Green is good! Yellow and red indicate room for improvement.
● Goals:
● Under 20% long sentences (long sentences are 20+ words)
● Under 15% passive voice
● Readability score:
● Executive Summary, Management Volume: 40+
● Technical Volume: 30+
● Grade level (ease of comprehension)
● Executive Summary, Management Volume: 9-10
● Technical Volume: 11-12

13. VisibleThread Readability Report
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14. VisibleThread Readability Report
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● Language issues are listed in context with section headings, suggestions for
improvement, and impact on readability scores
● Color-coded
● Passive voice = red
● Long sentence = blue
● Long word = black underline
● Hidden verb = green
● Ignore issues found in required legal disclaimers, disclosures, etc.

15. VisibleThread Readability Report
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16. Trial Run
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● Implemented these changes during
proposal activities on a ‘must-win’ pursuit
● Authors competed against each other and
themselves for the best scores
● Authors were excited to write and met
deadlines more easily
● Red team reviewers were able to focus on the
strategy and gave positive feedback about the
quality of the writing
● Ultimately, we won the pursuit
Sentence Length
Red = 20+ words
Yellow = 13-19 words
Green = 12 or fewer words
Percent of Long Sentences
Red = 15% or higher
Yellow = 6-14%
Green = 5% or less
Readability
Red = 30 or less
Yellow = 31-39
Green = 40+
Passive Voice
Red = 15% or more
Yellow = 6-14%
Green = 5% or less

17. Measuring Success
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● Authors ask us to run reports
● Editing time is significantly reduced on larger proposals
● Color team reviewers focus on the strategy, rather than grammar and sentence
structure
● Higher win rate

18. Questions?
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