Exploring how theories of self-esteem can inform coaching practice. Developing practical strategies to address self-esteem and confidence issues.

1. Self esteem issues in
coaching relationships
Presentation to Oxford Brookes Coaching &
Mentoring Society, November 2010
Alison Maxwell
Coach, team coach, coach supervisor
MA MA AC Accred
www.alisonmaxwell.com

2. Session overview
 Defining terms
 The Theorists
 Informing practice
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3. Defining Terms
“Self-esteem is the reputation we
acquire with ourselves”
Nathaniel Brandon
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4. Why should we be interested?
 Self esteem associated with :
 Confidence
 Less conformity
 Self-efficacy
 Optimism
 Risk taking
 Creativity
 Etc.
 Common theme in coaching?
 A determinant of coaching success?
 A happy by-product of successful coaching?
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5. The Theorists: Ratio, James (1890)
 Self-esteem as “contingent on the ratio of our
successes to our failures in domains of our life
we deem important”
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6. The Theorists: Social Constructionists
eg Cooley (1909), Mead (1913)
 A comparison with an internalised set of
standards or values introjected from familial,
social and cultural interactions/contexts.
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7. The Theorists: Humanists
eg. Maslow (1954), Rogers (1951)
 Self-esteem as central
to human functioning -
congruence with own
needs/values/
standards
 Contingent when
dependent on external
approval of others
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8. The Theorists: self conception
e.g. Baumeister (1993)
 Self Consistency - drive to
confirm what we already
believe about ourselves
(good or bad)
versus
 Self Enhancement – drive to
perceive ourselves in a
positive light
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9. The Theorists: stability
e.g. Kernis (2003)
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10. The Theorists: authentic self-esteem
e.g. Ryan & Brown (2003)
“Non-contingent self-esteem
characterises persons for whom the
issue of self-esteem is not salient,
largely because they experience
themselves on a fundamental level
as worthy of esteem and love.
Successes and failures do not
implicate their self-worth, even when
they lead to a re-evaluation of
actions and efforts”
Ryan & Warren Brown (2003, p72)
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11. The Theorists: Worthiness &
Competence e.g Mruk (2006)
 Worthiness based esteem – masking
a perceived lack of competence
 Competence based esteem –
masking a sense of lack of
worthiness
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12. Adapted Mruk Model
High Perceived
Worthiness
Worthiness High stable
based SE SE
Low Perceived High Perceived
Competence Competence
Low stable Competence
SE based SE
Low Perceived
Worthiness
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13. Using theory to inform coaching?
 For each of the „cases‟ what
sort of self-esteem issue do you
think is present?
 How would you test this?
 What would your coaching
strategy be?
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14. Enhancing low self esteem
 Cognitive restructuring/
pattern breaking techniques
 Strengths based approaches
 Seeking out positive feedback
 Unconditional positive regard
 Personal audit
 Challenging domain
relevance
 Setting realistic goals or
personal expectations
 Competence recollection
 Problem solving skills
 Graded experiment
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15. Challenging over-esteem
 Multi-source feedback
 Realism checks
 360 data
 Impact on significant
others
 Impact on desired future
 In the moment feedback
 Focus on creating a
trusting relationship
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16. The developmental perspective
e.g Kegan
Self
transforming • Authentic self-esteem
mind • Non-contingent self-
esteem
• Self–enhancement/ self-
consistency
Self authoring
• Congruence with own needs
mind
or values
• Ratio of success to failure
• Comparison with others
Socialised mind • Comparison with social norms
or expectations
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17. Self esteem issues in the relationship?
Worthiness High stable
Worthiness High stable
based SE SE
based SE SE
Low stable Competence Low stable Competence
SE based SE
SE based SE
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18. For more information
Contact Alison Maxwell at:
 Email: info@alisonmaxwell.com
 Web: www.alisonmaxwell.com
 Phone: 01780-480287
Workshops for developing coaches are available
on request:
 Self-esteem issues in coaching
 Boundary between coaching and therapy
 Developmental coaching
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