My MA dissertation was on male self-confidence and how coaching can help. It contains some insights into how and why the male experience of being confident, or not, is different to the female experience. Plus it explores what factors influence confidence for men.

1. An Exploration of Male Self-
Confidence in the Coaching
Context
Presented by Jackie Fitzgerald at the 11th Annual Coaching and
Mentoring Research Conference, Oxford Brookes University.
15 January 2015

2. Why this topic?
• Male self-confidence not well
understood – almost a taboo
‘Men who lack confidence? Don’t
you despise them?’
• Not clear what self-confidence ‘is’.
• How can coaching improve confidence?

3. References to search terms on Google
Google results
Self-confidence
Self-esteem
Self-efficacy
• Indicate familiarity with
terminology (Shamma et
al, 2004; Kelly & Cool,
2002)
• Self-confidence = 129m
results
• Self-esteem = 53m results
• Self-efficacy = 9.5m
results
(search carried out 27/5/14)

4. Literature review
• No clear definition/understanding of self-confidence
– Lies at the interface of abilities and personality (Stankov &
Crawford, 1997)
• Little found on male self-confidence specifically (except
arrogance)
• Men & women have similar levels of self-esteem (Reitzes &
Mutran, 1994)
• Degree of Gender Role Conflict (O’Neill, 2013) affects
confidence
• Confident men feel competent (Reitzes & Mutran, 1994)
• Not clear whether & how coaching helps self-confidence
issues

5. Research method
• Intepretivist paradigm + pre theory status of
question = IPA study
• 6 outwardly successful men aged 40-65
• All had been coached and/or mentored
• Semi-structured interviews
• Data transcribed and analysed following
Smith, Flowers & Larkin (2009) process

6. Superordinate themes
3 emerged:
1. The uniqueness of the RP’s attitudes towards and
experiences of self-confidence
2. Control as a factor in increasing self-confidence
3. The need for someone to talk to

7. 1. The uniqueness of self-confidence
What self-confidence means to the RP’s RP1 RP2 RP3 RP4 RP5 RP6
Trust in my own ability, competence X X X X X X
It depends on context/the situation X X X X X
Accepting myself, being comfortable in own skin, being
congruent
X X X X
Financial security X X X
An act, what I project X X X
Being well-prepared, having practiced X X
Something you can work on and change X X

8. What affects RP confidence?
What affects your confidence? RP1 RP2 RP3 RP4 RP5 RP6
The situation & context X X X X X X
Having someone to talk to X X X X X X
Knowing what's in store, familiarity X X X X
Being part of a good team X X X
Family support X X X
Autonomy, making my own decisions X X
Being successful X X
Congruence X X
Practice X X
Competence X X X X X
By acting it I become it X X
Past experience X X
Information X X
Financial security X X
How high the stakes are X X
Being in the right place in the world X X
Having things under control X X
Adding value, making a difference X
Wanting to be confident X
Knowing you're doing the right thing X
Age X
Physical attributes X
Education X
Change X
Curiosity, being open minded X
Positive attitude X
Planning, preparation X
Being judged, what other people think X

9. 2. Aspects of self-confidence
• Having: resources, skills, experience, power,
autonomy, security, someone to talk to
• Doing: Education, training, research, planning,
practice
• Being: congruence, authenticity
• Clear distinction between work and social or
quasi-social situations: linked to control?
• Arrogance a means of taking control?

10. Factors influencing confidence
External Internal
Being judged -ve Competence +ve
Family expectations generally -ve Congruence +ve
Masculine role expectations -ve Self-acceptance +ve
Having a good team around you +ve Positive attitude +ve
Family support +ve Wanting to be confident +ve
Having someone to talk to +ve Experience +ve
Education +ve
Physical attributes (eg height, weight) both Financial Security +ve
Social background both Familiarity +ve
Thoughts often -ve Preparation +ve
Age often -ve Skill & knowledge acquisition +ve
Situation/context both Experience +ve
Being in a competitive situation both Autonomy +ve
Low stakes +ve
Random Control
Factors influencing confidence

11. Effects of low confidence
• Reported effects strikingly similar: sleeplessness,
physical discomfort, changes to posture, illness:
• RP3: So, it’s that…it’s just, it’s unsettling. So, you
wake up in the middle of the night, you don’t get
back to sleep. So, you go and chop a tree down at
five in the morning, except the chainsaw will wake
everybody up, so you can’t do that either. You just
end up pacing round the house.
• Coping strategies: distraction, physical activity,
withdrawal

12. 3. Someone to talk to
• All considered this important
– Can’t talk to their wives, keep them out of things
• Slightly motivational, more of a sounding board:
• RP4: I would say overall its nearly always been
positive because its helped me deal with, for want
of a better word, nagging doubts about things,
and not in a massively life changing way, but in a
positive reinforcing way, in a ‘there is nothing
wrong with you thinking that’ kind of thing and
occasionally a little bit of a gee up about ‘yeah, I
do need to be…’

13. What the RP’s wanted from their
coach
• Listen, support, teach & guide
• Get them through ‘stuff’
• Affirm, confirm thinking
and decisions
• Validation more than motivation
• Most valued a mentor rather than a coach
• However the coaching experience was
transformational for some

14. Implications for coaching practice 1:
• Idiosyncrasy of self-confidence re-emphasised the
importance of initial contracting.
RP5 ‘That makes me think. One of my clients, a senior guy
in banking, he wanted coaching on some self-confidence
stuff and I never thought to find out what he meant because
I thought I knew what he meant. We are going to be having
a very different conversation in a few weeks.’
• Does the client want coaching or mentoring?

15. Implications for coaching practice 2:
• Coach must find out what self-confidence
means to that client & what combination of
factors influences their confidence
• Set aside value judgements - remain client
centred
• Focus on context and situation
– Can coaching help given the context?

16. Implications for coaching practice 3:
• Frequent temperature-checking needed
– Situation may change
– Client may not raise confidence themselves
• Confidence warning signs:
– Sleeplessness, illness, slouching
– Withdrawal, reticence, avoidance of issues,
arrogance (Berglas, 2006)
– Focus on/concerns about decision-making

17. Implications for coaching practice 4:
Suitable approaches
• Client-centred to address the highly individual
nature of male self-confidence
• Skills and performance for those with strong
‘doing’ bias or in task/performance contexts
• Strengths-based
– Known to improve confidence & self-esteem (Hodges
& Clinton, 2004; Linley & Harrington, 2008)
– Addresses fear of showing weakness (Brown, 2012)

18. Further research
• Do gender role expectations matter more for
younger, less affluent men?
• What differences are there between how men
and women recognise & deal with self-
confidence
• Is there a developmental aspect to
confidence?

19. That’s it! Any questions?

20. Contact info
Written and presented by Jackie Fitzgerald
jackie@alchemybusinesscoaching.biz
t: 01235 861 311
m: 07833 478 761
twitter: @jfitzbizcoach
All slides © Jackie Fitzgerald 2015

21. References
Berglas, S. (2006) ‘How to keep A players productive’, Harvard Business Review, Vol. 84, Issue 9, pp. 104-112.
Brown, B. (2012) Daring Greatly How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and
Lead. London: Penguin Books. Kindle edition.
Hodges, T.D., Clinton, D.O. (In press) Strengths Based Development in Practice In: Linley, P.A., & Joseph, S. (eds.)
International Handbook of Positive Psychology in Practice: From Research to Application. New Jersey: Wiley and Sons.
Available from: http://strengths.uark.edu/development-in-practice.pdf [Accessed 25 September 2014].
Kelly, D., Cool, C. (2002) ‘The effects of topic familiarity on information search behavior’ In: Proceedings of the 2nd
ACM/IEEE-CS joint conference on Digital libraries. New York:ACM. Available from
http://dl.acm.org/citation.cfm?id=544232 [Accessed June 9 2014].
Linley, P.A., Harrington, S. (2006) ‘Strengths Coaching: A potential-guided approach to coaching psychology’.
International Coaching Psychology Review Vol. 1 No. 1, 37:46
O’Neil, J.M. (2013) ‘Gender role conflict research 30 years later: an evidence-based diagnostic schema to assess boys
and men in counseling’, Journal of Counseling and Development, Vol. 91, pp. 490-498.
Reitzes, D.C., Mutran, E.J. (1994) ‘Multiple roles and identities: factors influencing self-esteem among middle-aged
working men and women’, Social Psychology Quarterly, Vol. 57, No.4, pp. 313-325.
Shamma, D.A, Owsley,S., Bradshaw, S., Sood, S., Budzik, J., Hammond, K. (2004) Using the Web as a Measure of
Familiarity and Obscurity. Available from: www.researchgate.net [Accessed June 9, 2014].
Smith, J.A., Flowers, P., Larkin, M. (2009) Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis Theory, Method and Research.
London: Sage.
Stankov, L., Crawford, J. (1997) ‘Self-confidence and performance on tests of cognitive abilities.’ Intelligence Vol. 25,
Issue 2, pp. 93-109.