This document analyzes and reviews the discussion section of a student thesis. It identifies some errors in unity and coherence, use of transition signals, capitalization, and punctuation. Specifically, it finds issues with coherence between paragraphs, appropriate transition word choice, capitalizing words in titles, omitting capitalization after numbers in lists, and incorrect use of commas. The review concludes that identifying these errors can help improve writing and provide learning to do better on future theses.

1. REVIEW ON DISCUSSION THESIS PART
Thesis is one of a requirement for graduated students to finish their study in the
university. The five chapters of the thesis: introduction, review of related literature, research
methodology, research finding and conclusion and suggestion, are important parts in thesis.
Each part should connect to the other parts. In this discussion, the writer will analyze the
discussion and interpretation of the thesis of Ismeilinda, her thesis title is The Effect of
Cooperative Learning Strategy “One Host-Many Visitors” Toward Students’ Learning
Motivation and High Level Reading Comprehension at the Second Years of SMAN 1
Bengkulu. In this thesis, the writer wants to analyze about unity and coherence, grammatical
errors and punctuation rules.
Firstly, talking about unity and coherence are the basic things and also very
important in writing. Unity means one idea is for a paragraph, and the idea should have the
supporting sentence that have to explain the main idea directly. Meanwhile coherence means
in a paragraph, all the sentences must hold together, the sentence should flow smoothly into
the next sentence. To make all the paragraph hold together, the writer have to put the
transition signals in the sentence. In this Ismeilinda’ thesis, she kept the unity of thesis until
the end of discussion, but there are some errors of coherence. The use of transition signals in
her thesis, it could be found in Paragraph III, line 1, the sentence “It can be concluded that…”
can be changed into in short, or clearly to make a the idea in the paragraph before more
clearly.
After that, in Paragraph V, line 1, the transition signal “Moreover” there can be
changed by “In addition”, it can be changed because this paragraph is the additional
information from the paragraph before. “Moreover” is also the transition signal, but it can be
put as the conjunctive adverb. Then, in Last Paragraph, Paragraph VIII, line 1, the writer also

2. use “It can be concluded that…” as the transition signal to conclude all the discussion. It can
be changed by “to summarize, in conclusion, or to conclude” to have a better word in writing.
Secondly, the grammatical error in writing should be a thing to consider in
writing. Actually there are several common grammar mistake that almost everyone makes for
examples: the use of your and you’re, its and it’s, there and their, which and that, who and
whom, may and might, the use of capital letter and many others. Related to Ismeilinda’s
thesis, in Paragraph VI line 6, and Paragraph VII, line 3, in the title of the thesis, she forgot to
use the capital letter on each word. For writing a title, each word of the title has to use the
capital letter. So, it could be “Cooperative Learning Strategy “One Host-many Visitors”.
Meanwhile, in Paragraph V, line 3, 7, 11 and 13, there are sentences which are not
using the capital letter on the first word, and it is also show the list of the elements of
cooperative learning strategy that’s why there is a number in bracket. It should use the capital
letter after the number.
The last is the using of punctuation rules in the sentence. Punctuation is also one
of the important things in basic of writing. Punctuation means the marks, such as full stop,
comma, colon, semicolons, and brackets, used in writing to separate sentences and their
elements and to clarify meaning. For punctuation rules, related to Ismeilinda’ thesis, it could
be found in Paragraph II, line 2, there is transition signal in sentence: “The result one of
learning motivation questionnaire”. In this sentence there is a comma should be put after the
transition signal “The result”. After that, in Paragraph V, line 3, there is no colon after “The
elements are..”. In this case, when the writer wants to mention some of the lists by using the
number in brackets, use the colon before the number. So the sentence could be “The element
are: (1) …”. Then, in the same paragraph, line 4, in the sentence “The students are assigned
carefully to heterogeneous group in terms of ability and gender so that each group is a cross-

3. sectional representation of the whole class”, to make the sentence is clear, it should be a
commas after the word “gender”.
To make the review of Ismeilinda’ thesis writing more clear, in short, there are
some errors types in it. Like the unity and coherence, using the capital letter, using the
punctuation rules such as commas, semicolons, and colons. There is a benefit after review her
thesis. After we read, we can get some of the information from it, try to analyze, make
correction, and we will make our thesis better.
Title
THE EFFECT OF COOPERATIVE LEARNING STRATEGY “ONE HOST-MANY
VISITORS” TOWARD STUDENTS’ LEARNING MOTIVATION AND HIGH LEVEL
READING COMPREHENSION AT THE SECOND YEARS OF SMAN 1 BENGKULU
Writer
: ISMEILINDA ( 2010/19298 )