Restorative Action Through Strengths

Editor's Notes

• #2 Excited to be here. Dwayne and I go WAY back… had the privilege of working closely with Dwayne as a principal in Agassiz and I loved his approach to working with kids. What I am going to discuss here today has been life changing for me… as a teacher, a principal, parent, and person.
• #3 Always need to start with WHY. Why are we here today? As much as we would love to say that all that we do in schools is working, there are still many who have difficult stories of life at school. Lack connection, Disengagement, mental health issues, behaviour, punishment dropout What we DO know… is that those who are dropping out, most often lack connection, are punished the most, and have an identity at school based on their struggles.
• #4 By grade 10, only 55-57% percent of students agreed with the statement “I belong at school”. What happens? Why? More students? The story for our middle years students is crucial in building worth and connection at school As kids go through school they form a more deficit-based story…
• #5 What happens as we move through K-12? Kindergarten kids are all good at SOMETHING – are also very altruistic. So what happens as kids move through school? They lose sight of their strengths… and become so well aware of their struggles. Their story of who they are at school changes. Disease model of education. Fixing kids.
• #6 People want that pain when someone does something wrong. Isolation, physical/emotional pain. This helps nobody but it does push kids further away. It also robs them of responsibility to learn from the act and to make it right. The goal of discipline is to teach. We know kids need a connection… yet we punish, we exclude, and we put a wall between us and the child. Good discipline generally results in a closer relationship with the child. Who am I closest with? The frequent flyers. I want to share a story of Amy.
• #7 Met Amy when she was 8 years old as she came into my wife’s dance studio 8 years later, Amy was one of the top dancers in the FV, leader at the studio. Teach younger kids and lead older kids. Could perform with beauty and grace in front of a theatre full of 600 people. My wife told me her story at school was different. Through my interest in Strengths-based education, I sat down and interviewed Amy as a gr 10 student. Studio – feels like home. I get to be me. School- story of who she is at school, she said “she just tries to blend in… be invisible”. struggles in academics, loves her creative writing and visual arts. favourite teacher - Mr. C. She skipped many … but rarely missed Mr. C’s class. Why “he encouraged us to be who we are in his class”, “he was so random… singing, writing poetry on an oddly shaped paper” “share what we learned in ways that worked for us… for me, I could write poetry or draw how a story made me feel”. Test and quizzes Does anyone know about you in school as a dancer? No. – bio but nothing done with it Advice : be interesting, be interested, slow down, be random 2 different stories - We all know our Amy’s – their strength is not noticed at school. They try to be invisible… or noticed in negative ways.
• #8 What Amy was saying was “be interested in me”… connect with me. It all starts with Relationships. Connection. Interests and strengths. Getting to know students. Judy Halbert and Linda Kaser say each child needs to be able to name 2-3 adults who care about them. Do we know who our students are? Do we know what they are good at? What they do beyond school? Do they feel worthy when they walk through our doors? A good portion of our students’ identities are being shaped by their stories at school. There are some very positive ones but there are also some that we need to try to change.
• #9 Amy is just one story. But it is far too common The stories shape who we are…. They shape our identities. the stories that are told to us AND the stories we tell It takes years for us to explore identities and strengths… Our children are building their stories right now So how do we build positive stories of student life at school? We live in a deficit-based society… we are so quick to point out our flaws and the flaws in others. From what I have seen and in my experience… students don’t always see themselves in the most positive light… and neither do we as adults. We have been trained to see the negatives, the deficits, the struggles.
• #10 Kids often see the positives We learn to be critical and reflect… but do we learn to see the negatives too much? Before we can see the strengths in others, we must see the strengths in ourselves. This takes time as we TRAIN ourselves to look through new lenses. It takes practice. When a child walks through our doors or we walk into a classroom, what do we look for? Strengths? Struggles?
• #11 Disease model in society. Constant comparisons. Deficit-based. ALL kids have strengths… we just need to see them. We need to Look through strengths-tinted glasses. When we see and tap into these strengths, we acknowledge who kids are, we create a sense of belonging and we show them they matter. Habits can be trained. The more we do this, the better we become at it.
• #12 Shift our lens as parents, as educators, and as community members.
• #13 Skills, Qualities, traits, virtues that lie within people. Arts, athletics, trades, academics… and also virtues like empathy, care, resiliency, and courage Exist side by side with struggles and weaknesses Strengths can be learned… and that is where we can have a huge impact on our students. Some are unaware of their strengths… or fail to see their strengths. We can help change the lens. Not about teaching them to think they are awesome at everything….
• #14 24 character strengths developed in the field of positive psychology. Do the survey, Find out what yours are. Use them more often. Positive Psychology Research  did an activity in which people with depression determined their 3 top character strengths and then had to spend time doing NEW things with these strengths for one week. 6 months later… still feeling significantly better. They did the same thing in a few schools… and achieved positive results in learning, cooperation and social skills. The best part about this was not only did people feel better… but they stuck with the activities for the next 6 months without being asked. We should be building on the best things n life… AND repairing the worst By focusing on strengths, we not only bring up the deficits but we also create the conditions for people to truly flourish… to take those strengths and create more passion, more purpose, and more pride.
• #15 They are all good at something that they have worked at over the years. Areas in which they have confidence. Sports, arts, trades, academics… As educators, we need to tap into both strengths of character and skill to engage, develop and connect with our students.
• #16 As a new teacher, I thought I was going to come in and fix kids. Fix all those that struggled. As a society, we are often driven by deficits. The disease model. Fix kids. Diagnose, interventions. IMPORTANT but we often miss a key part of the story… the story of strengths and interests challenge in BC – funding, labeling to get $$$/support - create a deficit-based story. Didn’t realize all the efforts that are put into getting support until I went to an elementary school. Which lens?
• #17 What we focus on gets larger – what are we looking for? It is also difficult and stressful for us to see through the deficit lens. Step back… seek out the positives in our classes. When we look at our challenging students, what do we see? Where is the bar? Love the analogy created by Rachel Macy Stafford
• #18 Rachel Macy Stafford Many of our students are Butterflies – shine from the outside – these are the ones we clearly see being successful in school. Their strengths are evident and embraced in school. She challenges us to find the fireflies – those that shine only under the right conditions? How do we create the conditions for more students to also shine and fly? We help them to LEAD. Kids thrive when leaderhship roles in an area of strengths
• #20 Story of ACE – “bad kids” Kicked out of school, asked to leave, dropped out Sandy Balascak - Problem kids or kids with problems Had a town meeting to move the school out of the downtown – people were afraid of the kids Across the street is the legion who are heavily involved in the seniors, seniors, too, afraid. Sandy – create understanding, build relationships. Senior teen luncheons
• #21 change their experiences at school. Change their stories The students have become a staple in the Agassiz community – 9 to 90. Especially the seniors community. Each Christmas, these “bad kids” give up their own Christmas morning for seniors. 5am, cook, prepare breakfast and share gifts with local seniors. Became a nation wide news story. Sandy found their strengths and changed the story… and changed the community. seniors have gone back to school including 3 over the age of 80 2 years ago. Majority of ACE students graduate with their Dogwood too… the staff believe the students can do it, and the students continue to prove them right.
• #22 89 year old Kay on the far left with 76 year old Maureen in the middle along with other graduates of ACE. In an alternate setting, there is more flexibility but - we tap into the strengths of students, we can help to change their stories of school. We can even change an entire community and the relationships within it.
• #23 As teachers we need to THINK: THEY CAN Place students in areas of strengths and build confidence. Use the strengths to build up the struggles Move away from the disease model where we solely try to fix things As a coach, I put players in positions of strengths and built from there. In theatre, the director would put actors in positions of strength. My wife showcases strenghs in her choreography As leaders, the best way to bring out the best, is to focus on areas of strength… move from good to great.
• #24 Kent Elementary – OUR STUDENTS Previous principal and many staff member and parents, community members (esp FN community of Seabird) taught me this. LEADERSHIP roles - flourish- Gardening, big buddy, tech crew, lunch monitors, cheerleading, office helpers, library tech, early morning readers, FN drumming and dancing Not a reward – part of the educational experience. The first question we asked was… what are they good at? Let’s go from there. Now, when I share this stuff I have been criticized for the being fluffy, pie in the sky stuff. This may work in an elem school but not in the real world. People don’t just get to focus on their strengths. But I want to share some numbers with you:
• #25 Sang and drummed Other joined in... Played in in front of our class each Monday. Played in front of our school for every big event. He was connected. He was engaged. He started to read, write, work on math. last day of school… he missed the bus. We found him in the class crying. Huge hug. Did not want the year to end. Years later, Dom was still coming back to his elementary school to work with young drummers and share his strength Had we not found his strength, I am not sure where Dom would have gone those years in school. Through strengths, we were able to connect with him in such a way that changed his story of life at school. Through my work in the area of strengths-based education, I have experienced pushback from people in and outside of the education world. I have been told this is a fluffy approach that sets kids up for failure in the big bad real world outside of school. I respond to these comments with these numbers:
• #26 If we focus on strengths during feedback, we get an increase in over 36% and if we focus on weaknesses we get a DECREASE in almost 27% in performance. This is a swing of 63% in performance. Still fluffy? What if I told you that this research did not come from elementary classrooms… this research came from the Corporate Leadership Council that surveyed over 19,000 employees in 27 countries in the world to determine how companies can best lead their businesses and employees. This research came from companies such as Canon, Caterpillar, Lego, H&R Block, and Lowe’s Hardware. These are companies in the “big bad world” The Gallup organization has also shared research on the significant impact of employee engagement when we use a strengths-based focus Not so fluffy. points to a simple message: When we change the lens to a strengths-based focus, we bring out the best in people. Period. This works for students, for children, for employees… for people. One of our main jobs as parents, educators, and leaders is to bring out the best…
• #27 At Kent, I was introduced to these 2 resources and philosophy. Dr. Greene – kids do well if they can. Nobody gets up determined to have a bad day... Make people mad, disappoint. They need teaching and need to be included in the process. Diane Gossen – Restitiution – we want to create problem solvers and ways to make things right after a wrong. Bring people together, understand the mistakes, make it right for both the person wronged and the person doing the wrong. If you do more of this…(left), then we need less of this and is done for smaller things to create positive experiences for all kids.
• #28 When we focus on deficits and use control and punishments, not only do we push people further away, we also create a culture of dependence. The more problems they have, the more controlled they are, more punished they are, and the more dependent they become. Kids rely on adults to tell them what to do and then solve the problems. A focus on strengths, connection and restorative justice builds INDEPENDENCE. Kids know what they CAN do, they have adults to help teach them, and they make a plan to make things right. The first step is always asking questions….
• #29 what is their (mis)behaviour or disconnection telling you? are they reaching out? telling you something? Separate the child from the behaviour. Show empathy.   get to know the REAL person. Find out their story. 
• #30 We cannot have a strong connection without trust. Be interested. Make the time. Listen. Talk. Build Trust. Number one goal for anybody that works with youth - CONNECT. Build Trust.
• #31 Restorative Action can be so powerful… benefits both the person who wronged and the person that was wronged what is the plan to make it right? Sometimes we can tap into the strengths of kids. Do something for someone that is in an area of strength. Make. Lead. Aren’t we rewarding bad behaviour? Not about rewarding/punishing… about learning and then doing something positive to right the wrong. If all those involved come away feeling positive and learned something, we have succeeded. We treat people with dignity, with respect. We are firm. We ensure that the wrongs are admitted, there are apologies, and then we look to make it right. Make it right to the people affected or make it right to the school itself. The point of restitution is to bring people together and make it right. We are changing the trajectory of the behaviours.
• #32 Struggling with a student for the past year. Vicious cycle of anxiety and behaviour. Asked former colleague for advice. Make sure he feels welcome and that he belongs every singld day… no mattter what. This is the mistake we were making. He was so skilled at “making it right” but it the behaviours would continue. Last year, Staff and students were afraid of him. He was excluded. He then excluded himself. He was not a part of the community. He was disconnected, disengaged, and his identity was “that” kid. He still has this but we are making progress as his current teacher greets him every day like she is truly glad to see him… and she is. This is the piece. Restorative is powerful but we need the whole package. We need those adults in the building that are glad to see a child… every time. If you are always coming in after there is a problem, you are missing such a key piece. CONNECTION. I am excited to hear that this association is coming into schools more often to be proactive, build connections, value strengths…
• #33 All kids can lead. When they lead, they often flourish. More challenging with those who are disconnected. Not your typical leaders. Lead with character strengths – helping younger students. Significantly strengthens the connection between the child and the school.
• #34 I asked you to think of your firefly… your Amy The reason is that this Can be overwhelming We can do this by starting with one. One idea, one lesson… one student. Start with Your Amy Story of LOGAN– a variety of struggles – many labels. Yet he has a strength in Love of Learning. Nuclear disasters. Content is important – grade 5 topic of harsh environments, he presented. As educators, we have an incredible impact and a crucial role with today’s youth. So Start Today… start with one. Start with one student’s strengths. Connect - Change one student’s story.
• #35 Great TED Talk. Every child needs a champion. Someone who they know deeply cares about them and will stand by them. Think of a student who appears to be disconnected. Who will be their champion? Who will be in their corner? Why not you?
• #36 Summary Look at behaviour as a skill to be taught and learned. Seek to understand the WHY of behaviour. We cannot teach a child without a connection. Make connection a priority. Make the TIME. Find the strengths, bring them out more often. Use strengths to build connections. Put the strengths to use. Create the conditions to bring out the best. Create leadership opportunities. Watch em shine! Every child needs a champion. Start with one. Be his/her champion. When we do this, we create more connections and make restorative actions more proactive so as to prevent the need for resititution. When we do need that restitution. Look to strengths.
• #37 Restorative is very important… but if we try to do this without connection, without an understanding of who our kids are and the strengths they have, and without an understanding that discipline is TEACHING… we have a smaller chance of success. I was inspired to hear from Dwayne and Leanna that you are in the schools more often focusing on the proactive. If you simply come in after, you have significantly less chance of success as it becomes and event rather than an ongoing process for the whole child and community.
• #38 I started with the story of Amy… how she lacked connection and engagement and knew her many deficits at school…but I never finished the story. After I interviewed her, she continued to struggle in school… feel invisible. In her grade 12 year… something changed. Amy’s real name is Ashley and she was a student in the Langley School District. 2 years ago, as the TEDxLangleyED committee planned for student performers, Ashley’s name was brought up as a potential performer. Because of her many struggles in school, The question was asked if Ashley was a good representative for the school district. The decision was made to give Ashley the opportunity to shine.
• #39 It brought tears to my eyes to know that her high school vp and principal along with the assistant superintendent and superintendent all said the same thing… This is the exact person we NEED to put on this stage. We NEED to showcase her strengths.. Because this is why education needs to change… so students like Ashley no longer feel invisible and their stories change to a more positive identity at school. Her principal started with ONE. Ashley was his Firefly. We need to move beyond the deficit-based model and use strengths to connect with our students. I talked to Ashley recently and asked if this changed her in any way… she said that this was such a huge moment for her. she was asked to perform at school-wide events. Staff knew her. She said it was nice to be noticed… nice to matter. She has now graduated, now works as a dance teacher to share her passion for dance… and walked away from our district knowing that she had a chance to shine in her area of strength.
• #40 I encourage you to start with strengths… to use these to build connections within schools so your role as an association shifts from coming in after an incident to someone who is there more often… to build connection, be a child’s champion and to teach along the way.