Reboot Session 4: Network Effectively
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Robin Frank presented on effectively networking. The presentation covered 17 tips for networking including finding networking opportunities, starting conversations, following up, and connecting on social media. Frank provided 30 conversation starters and discussed being an engaging person through body language, attitude, and facilitating connections between others. The session aimed to help attendees feel more comfortable networking.
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Reboot Session 4: Network Effectively
- 1. Session 4: Network Effectively presented by Robin Frank
- 2. Personal Branding I help individuals in many fields create powerful personal brands. My personal branding strategy is featured in the recent book “Digital Marketing” written by Larry Weber and endorsed by Reid Hoffman (Chairman, Founder/LinkedIn) and John Donahoe (CEO/eBay). Reboot Camp Innovative program to help Moms confidently re-enter the workforce after a break. Six inspiring and pragmatic sessions cover topics from networking and interview skills to social media and personal branding, plus two hours of one-on-one coaching. Mom Twin 8 Yr old boys Live in Mill Valley Social Media I work with companies large and small to help them build and tune-up an engaging online presence. I’m known as a dynamic speaker and speak regularly at national conferences, companies, and events. Yours Truly
- 3. Reboot Camp Sessions 1. Set Your Strategy 2. Tell Your Story 3. Create Your Presence 4.Network Effectively 5. Interview Confidently 6. Succeed On the Job TODAY
- 4. Let’s Get Started! • This presentation will be available to you online - which means you are free to listen without taking notes • We have 15 minutes for questions at the end • You also have 2 hours of one-on-one to use however you like
- 6. Networking Effectively: It’s All About Building Relationships 6
- 7. Networking is Important • To get JOB leads • To learn about your FIELD/INDUSTRY • To meet new connections 7
- 8. But Networking Can Also Be Intimidating 8 • How do I find the right events/situations? • How do I start a conversation? • What do I say and do to get people to remember me? • How do I follow up?
- 9. 9
- 10. 1: You Can Find Networking Opportunities and Events Anywhere • Social events • Your alumni association • Your moms groups • Your neighborhood • Professional groups • Industry conferences • meetup.com 10
- 11. 2: Start Your Own Event • Invite three friends • Ask them to invite three friends • Meet at a cafe or someone’s home 11
- 12. 3. Bring Lots of Business Cards • Plus a pen so you can make notes for each person you meet 12
- 13. 4. Wear Something That Makes You Feel GREAT • Check your coat • Wear comfortable shoes • Don’t bring a large bag 13
- 14. 5. Set a Few Goals for Each Event • Like… • Meet 5 new people • Learn 2 new things • Start 3 conversations 14
- 15. 6. See Who’s Coming Ahead of Time • Check the invite list • Look at their LinkedIn profile • Tweets • Blog 15
- 16. 7. Get Your Elevator Pitch Ready WHO YOU ARE Short mantra – what you want the listener to remember most about you WHAT Tag line – how you add value + your unique benefits, how what you do is different WHY Passion - why you do what you do GOAL What you want – customized for different audiences so the listener knows what you are asking 16
- 17. 8. Start at the Bar or Buffet • This way you can scan the room before you dive into conversation 17
- 18. 9. Have a Few Conversation Starters in Mind • Have you been here before? • How’s the shrimp? • This venue is beautiful 18
- 19. 10. Look For People Who Are Alone • They will be happy to have someone to talk to! 19
- 20. 11. Ask Open-Ended Questions • How did you get started in your field? • Not - How long have you worked there? • What projects are you working on now? • Not - Are you working on any interesting projects now? • What do you like most about your job? • Not - Do you like your job? 20
- 21. 12. Prepare a Few Conversation Ideas • Get yourself armed and ready so you have a few things to talk about 21
- 22. 13. Don’t Be Afraid to Open Up • Just relax, tell stories, and be yourself 22
- 23. 14. Try to Find Common Interests • What are you into outside of work? • Have you been to any other networking events? 23
- 24. 15. Close the Conversation Gracefully • It has been so great talking with you. I’ll be in touch with you soon. I’m going to connect with a few more people before I go. 24
- 25. 16. Get Everyone’s Business Card • Jot down a note about the person, their interests, your conversation, and the follow-up • It’s ok to do this while they are there! 25
- 26. 17a. Follow Up Within 48 Hours • Sometimes you MEET a connection. You know it’s right for you. And you know it’s right for them. But for some reason, you NEVER follow up. Why? ▫ We forget ▫ Negative thoughts prevent you from taking action ▫ Networking can feel forced, unnatural, and sleazy 26
- 27. 17b.The Key to the Successful Follow-Up • Calendar reminder 5-10 days away - email • How to make sure they read it? ▫ Say: I’ll email you in a week or two  Email content: offer a potential solution, data, research you think they would be interested in and/or ask a question that demonstrates some knowledge - Are you going to XYZ event or do you think competitor ABC's new launch/positioning will be impactful? 27
- 28. 18. Connect Socially • On LinkedIn/Twitter/G oogle+ • Remind them where you met 28
- 29. 20. Make Time to Check In with People • Even schedule it in your calendar every week or month • Remember them • Connect them with others • Send articles and resources that you come across (or research) 29
- 30. 30 Brilliant Networking Conversation Starters 30 • One of the most common concerns about networking is - How do you just walk up to someone you don't know at an event—and start talking? • This is easier when you have a few go-to icebreakers in your back pocket!
- 31. The Classics 1. "Hi, I don't know too many people here, so I wanted to introduce myself. I'm [name] and I work at [company].” Bam. 2. “So, what do you do?" It gets them talking first and you can think about how to approach the conversation or how you could possibly work together. 3. “So, what brought you here today?” 4. "How's your day going?" This is my go-to in any situation, and it never fails. It's simple, classic, and always effective if you throw in a smile. 5. "What's your story?" It always sparks a fascinating and non- generic conversation. 31
- 32. Location, Location, Location 1.If I'm at an event with food, I'll often use that as a conversation starter, à la “These meatballs are so good. Have you tried them?" 2."How did you hear about this event?" 3.“It's so hot (or cold) in here.” Hey, maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but the person will either agree or disagree, and pretty soon you’re talking about weather patterns, your best umbrella, and then your career goals. 4."I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed by the deluge of info that’s being fire-hosed at us today. Is there one nugget of brilliance that’s really resonating with you?" 5."What a beautiful venue. Have you been here before?" 32
- 33. The Newsworthy 1.“What do you think about [insert topic related to the event or person here]?" News is great engagement tool. 2.“Wow, I just can't believe all the crazy news headlines today. What a week!" 3."Any chance you read the news today? I missed it, and I'm dying to know what's happening with [insert news topic here]." 4.“So, was it a pain for you to get here?” The mode of transportation and location in the city are always on peoples’ minds. There’s bound to be a story about it. 5.“Did you catch the game last night?” It’s a classic, but it’s a classic for a reason. 33
- 34. Great For Introverts 1. “Man, these networking events can be so crazy. Mind if I join you over here where it’s a little quieter?” 2. "As we're both here at the (buffet, bar, waiting room), I feel I should introduce myself. I'm [name] from [company].” 3. I like to compliment people on their clothes and accessories. I find this approach to be more friendly and less about professionally connecting, especially if you're at a networking event. I believe both men and women can compliment each other on their choice of attire and use it as a conversation starter! 4. "I'm trying to make myself meet new people here instead of just talking to the usual suspects. Do you mind me saying hello and introducing myself?" 5. “Man, I hate networking.” If you sense a fellow party-goer has similar misanthropic tendencies, walk up and start a conversation about your mutual distaste. 34
- 35. The Funny How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. 1. "I can't believe how under-dressed I am for this event." A little self-deprecating humor is always good, and I'm always poorly dressed. 2. Something jokey—like “I just came for these carrot sticks." Then ask a question, like "How'd you hear about this event?" 3. "So, on a scale of 1 to undrinkable, how terrible is the Chardonnay?" 4. "Did you see the Japanese 'Attack of the Raptor’ office prank video?" Timely mixes of humor and intrigue can be great. 5. "I'll be honest, the only person I know here is the bartender, and I just met him two minutes ago. Mind if I introduce myself?" 35
- 36. The Totally Random (But Hey, They Just Might Work) 1. "Any chance you know a great sushi place around here? I'm not familiar with the area, and I'm headed to dinner after this." 2. “Hey, aren’t you friends with [fill in random name]?” It doesn’t matter if you really think the person is someone you know, just walk up and ask if he or she is friends with someone you know. He or she will tell you “no,” and conversation will commence. 3. If you see a group of people that seem engaged in quality conversation, just approach them and say, "Well, you guys are certainly having more fun than the last group I was talking to.” 4. “If there is one question you do not want me to ask you, because you are sick and tired of answering it, what question would that be?” 5. "I'm working on an article about the best and worst conversation starters ever. Any particularly good or terrible ones you've heard tonight?" 36
- 37. 8 Ways to Be The Person Everyone Wants to Talk To 37
- 38. It Starts With Your Attitude • Boost Your Desire to Connect • One person’s story may change your life! Seek out knowledge and inspiration. A roomful of people can be a candy store, not a prison. • Be Present and Alert • The human brain has from 50,000+ thoughts per day; that’s 40 per minute! Look people in the eye, smile when appropriate, and focus on them - they will feel valued and appreciated. 38
- 39. Be Easy to Talk To and Approachable • Drop the Serious Attitude • People remember people who have humor and wit. Share fun stories, talk about past mistakes, bring a laugh into your conversation. • Look the Part • The first impression people have of you is a visual one. • Don’t Diminish the Importance of Eye Contact • If you are distracted, whether by the crowd, your phone, or because you are shy, it devalues the relationship immediately. 39
- 40. Great Conversation • Remember, Remark, and Repeat • Treat everyone like a million bucks by making a concerted effort to retain someone’s name, at least for the duration of the conversation • Be Positive • Avoid being negative and talking about hardships. Choose a topic you are passionate about, and your eyes and smile will light up. Ask questions to prompt the other person to continue their story because you are interested! 40
- 41. Win Friends and Influence People • Use Great Body Language • Hunched shoulders and crossed arms signal a lack of confidence. • Social psychologist Amy Cuddy's research reveals that we can change people’s perceptions of us, and even our own body chemistry by simply changing body positions. • TED Talk: Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are • “Power posing” — standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident — can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on our chances for success. • http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_languag e_shapes_who_you_are?language=en 41
- 42. How to Get a Meeting with Someone You Don’t Know on LinkedIn • Networking - forwards and backwards • Maximizing your use of LinkedIn 42
- 43. Networking: Quality not Quantity • Deepen your connection ▫ People you have just met or may have known your whole life ▫ People in our networks serve a variety of purposes – they can stimulate our thinking, expand our options, help us make better decisions, provide insight into our careers • Be a people hub ▫ One of the most valuable things you can do for someone is connect them with the right person ▫ Facilitate a mutually beneficial connection 43
- 44. Be Strategic: The direction of your network is in your hands 44
- 45. Weak Links are More Powerful 45 • Account for most of the structure of social networks in society as well as the transmission of information through these networks • More novel information flows to individuals through weak rather than strong ties • Our close friends tend to move in the same circles that we do – and the information they receive overlaps considerably with what we already know
- 46. Network is a Verb Not a Noun • Care and feeding of your network ▫ Give something of value in every interaction ▫ Send a message with an update or article or interesting event 46
- 47. Getting Referrals and Introductions • Increase your chances of being interviewed and getting a better job by 5-10X over applying directly • Some connections you make along the way will surprise you, and put you on a path you never even considered 47
- 48. Networking Forwards with LinkedIn • Target 10 people who can vouch for your past performance and future potential (goal is 4) ▫ Professors, advisors, or social connections • Reach out - ask if they would be comfortable recommending you to connections in companies or industries of interest to you ▫ Get the names of 4 people and an intro ▫ Look at their LinkedIn - have specific people in mind ▫ Track everything in a spreadsheet 48
- 49. LinkedIn Introductions - Trusted Connections • Look at a job/company you are interested in • Find who you're connected to (1st Degree) who knows someone in the company (2nd Degree) and ask to be referred/introduced 49
- 50. Networking Backwards – How to Find Your Ideal Contact 50
- 51. InMail – When You Have No Connections • You can send an inMail to anyone • For pay (avoids spam) • If you don’t receive a reply, LinkedIn will refund your credit automatically 51
- 52. Talking to Strangers - Meeting Request • Lead with something in common ▫ Contextualize the conversation - mention how you found them • Get to your point fast • Reassure the person that you’re not asking for a favor ▫ Be firm that you are just looking for a meeting • Talk about what makes you qualified - your brand pitch here! • End with a strong call to action with a time limit ▫ Mention that you need only 15 minutes of their time. • Be respectful = Show appreciation for their time 52
- 53. The (Almost)Perfect Meeting Request Dear [name], I found your profile through the [name the common LinkedIn Group or network] on LinkedIn. I have been working as a [name last position] at [name last company], and I am in the process of making a career transition. It would be helpful for me to find out about your experiences as a [name role] for [target company]. I promise not to take more than 15 minutes of your time. I am not expecting to discuss a particular job opening, but I would appreciate being able to talk with you on an informational basis. What is the best way to reach you this week? Do you have any availability this coming Thursday or Friday? I thank you in advance. Regards, [your name] 53
- 54. Change the Game • Offer value before you ask for anything ▫ How can I help this person? ▫ Do not discount yourself just because you’re young. Offer what you have based on what people need ▫ Add value - Offer to create a website, a video, or? • Do your research ▫ Know the basics - take time to check Google, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, etc. so you understand what the person is all about ▫ Find the details - look for common hobbies or a hook - one of my mentors is someone I connected with because I reached out and mentioned we both like to dive 54
Editor's Notes
- 1. Boost Your Desire to Connect Do you dread attending networking or social events? Look at it this way. Everyone there has a story. Walking into a room of people is like walking into a library or video store: There is so much to learn and enjoy! You never know how one person’s story may change your life or the course of your business. Seek out knowledge, inspiration, and great connections. Remember, a room full of people is your candy store, not your prison! 2. Be Present and Alert Challenging yourself to hear every word and notice every detail is no small task. That’s why those who do it stand out from the crowd. The human brain has from 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day; that’s 35 to 48 thoughts per minute! Practice bringing your mind back to the present when you drift off. Look people in the eye, smile when appropriate, and keep your energy high with humor and passion. People will feel valued and appreciated when you focus purely on them, leaving a lasting and favorable impression. 3. Drop the Serious Attitude People remember people who have humor and wit. You don’t have to be a gifted comedian to bring a laugh or two into your conversations. Share fun stories about your kids or pets, use self-deprecation moderately when you talk about past mistakes in a humorous manner, and address light-hearted topics rather than being all business. 4. Look the Part The very first impression people have of you is a visual one. Personal stylists and leadership trainers advise that you have at least one good suit in your wardrobe—ladies, too! The rule of thumb is to purchase one-third fewer clothes and spend three times as much on your new items. For some events, jeans are absolutely appropriate, but avoid looking sloppy. A carefully chosen ensemble simply reads success. 5. Don’t Diminish the Importance of Eye Contact I mentioned eye contact earlier, but I can’t express it enough. If you are distracted, whether by the crowd, your phone, or because you are shy, it devalues the relationship immediately. If you find it difficult to maintain eye contact, begin by looking between the person’s eyes, where the top of the nose begins. Eventually, you will become more comfortable, and you’ll experience the magic of reading the nuances and emotions that the eyes carry. 6. Remember, Remark, and Repeat Have you ever introduced yourself to someone, only to be acknowledged with this sorry excuse? “Please forgive me if I don’t remember your name; I’m terrible at names.” Why doesn’t the person just tell you that you don’t matter to her? The same person, if someone introduced himself and offered up a million dollars, would remember that person’s name with ease! (The ability to remember names decreases with age, but strengthening the memory is still possible.) Treat everyone like a million bucks by making a concerted effort to retain someone’s name, at least for the duration of the conversation. Repeat the name after the person says it: “It’s so nice to meet you, David.” Associate the name with someone in your life bearing the same name. Create an alliterative pattern involving something you know about the person, i.e., Susan in sales, Cindy from Cincinnati, Greg is gregarious. Lastly, eliminate the belief that you can’t remember names; you can only do what you believe you can. 7. Be Positive Nothing like being introduced to someone only to be greeted with, “Isn’t the weather lousy?” or “These appetizers are awful!” Choose a topic you are passionate about, and your eyes will light up, as will your smile. Ask questions that prompt the other party to continue his or her story because, after all, you are obviously very interested. Avoid talking about hardships as though you are a victim. Always leave a conversation on an upbeat note and people will want to come back for more. 8. Become Bilingual Your verbal language is not the only one you know. Hunched shoulders, crossed arms, and fidgety habits all speak to a lack of confidence. Before entering a room, use a power stance to feel like a superhero. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy’s research on body language reveals that we can change other people’s perceptions of us, and even our own body chemistry, simply by changing body positions. Try a playful approach. Before stepping into a public arena, strike a superhero pose, like Superman, with hands on hips, feet spread apart, and chin tilted toward the sky. Your internal and external energy will shift in seconds! (Do this in public at your own risk!)
- 1. Boost Your Desire to Connect Do you dread attending networking or social events? Look at it this way. Everyone there has a story. Walking into a room of people is like walking into a library or video store: There is so much to learn and enjoy! You never know how one person’s story may change your life or the course of your business. Seek out knowledge, inspiration, and great connections. Remember, a room full of people is your candy store, not your prison! 2. Be Present and Alert Challenging yourself to hear every word and notice every detail is no small task. That’s why those who do it stand out from the crowd. The human brain has from 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day; that’s 35 to 48 thoughts per minute! Practice bringing your mind back to the present when you drift off. Look people in the eye, smile when appropriate, and keep your energy high with humor and passion. People will feel valued and appreciated when you focus purely on them, leaving a lasting and favorable impression. 3. Drop the Serious Attitude People remember people who have humor and wit. You don’t have to be a gifted comedian to bring a laugh or two into your conversations. Share fun stories about your kids or pets, use self-deprecation moderately when you talk about past mistakes in a humorous manner, and address light-hearted topics rather than being all business. 4. Look the Part The very first impression people have of you is a visual one. Personal stylists and leadership trainers advise that you have at least one good suit in your wardrobe—ladies, too! The rule of thumb is to purchase one-third fewer clothes and spend three times as much on your new items. For some events, jeans are absolutely appropriate, but avoid looking sloppy. A carefully chosen ensemble simply reads success. 5. Don’t Diminish the Importance of Eye Contact I mentioned eye contact earlier, but I can’t express it enough. If you are distracted, whether by the crowd, your phone, or because you are shy, it devalues the relationship immediately. If you find it difficult to maintain eye contact, begin by looking between the person’s eyes, where the top of the nose begins. Eventually, you will become more comfortable, and you’ll experience the magic of reading the nuances and emotions that the eyes carry. 6. Remember, Remark, and Repeat Have you ever introduced yourself to someone, only to be acknowledged with this sorry excuse? “Please forgive me if I don’t remember your name; I’m terrible at names.” Why doesn’t the person just tell you that you don’t matter to her? The same person, if someone introduced himself and offered up a million dollars, would remember that person’s name with ease! (The ability to remember names decreases with age, but strengthening the memory is still possible.) Treat everyone like a million bucks by making a concerted effort to retain someone’s name, at least for the duration of the conversation. Repeat the name after the person says it: “It’s so nice to meet you, David.” Associate the name with someone in your life bearing the same name. Create an alliterative pattern involving something you know about the person, i.e., Susan in sales, Cindy from Cincinnati, Greg is gregarious. Lastly, eliminate the belief that you can’t remember names; you can only do what you believe you can. 7. Be Positive Nothing like being introduced to someone only to be greeted with, “Isn’t the weather lousy?” or “These appetizers are awful!” Choose a topic you are passionate about, and your eyes will light up, as will your smile. Ask questions that prompt the other party to continue his or her story because, after all, you are obviously very interested. Avoid talking about hardships as though you are a victim. Always leave a conversation on an upbeat note and people will want to come back for more. 8. Become Bilingual Your verbal language is not the only one you know. Hunched shoulders, crossed arms, and fidgety habits all speak to a lack of confidence. Before entering a room, use a power stance to feel like a superhero. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy’s research on body language reveals that we can change other people’s perceptions of us, and even our own body chemistry, simply by changing body positions. Try a playful approach. Before stepping into a public arena, strike a superhero pose, like Superman, with hands on hips, feet spread apart, and chin tilted toward the sky. Your internal and external energy will shift in seconds! (Do this in public at your own risk!)
- 1. Boost Your Desire to Connect Do you dread attending networking or social events? Look at it this way. Everyone there has a story. Walking into a room of people is like walking into a library or video store: There is so much to learn and enjoy! You never know how one person’s story may change your life or the course of your business. Seek out knowledge, inspiration, and great connections. Remember, a room full of people is your candy store, not your prison! 2. Be Present and Alert Challenging yourself to hear every word and notice every detail is no small task. That’s why those who do it stand out from the crowd. The human brain has from 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day; that’s 35 to 48 thoughts per minute! Practice bringing your mind back to the present when you drift off. Look people in the eye, smile when appropriate, and keep your energy high with humor and passion. People will feel valued and appreciated when you focus purely on them, leaving a lasting and favorable impression. 3. Drop the Serious Attitude People remember people who have humor and wit. You don’t have to be a gifted comedian to bring a laugh or two into your conversations. Share fun stories about your kids or pets, use self-deprecation moderately when you talk about past mistakes in a humorous manner, and address light-hearted topics rather than being all business. 4. Look the Part The very first impression people have of you is a visual one. Personal stylists and leadership trainers advise that you have at least one good suit in your wardrobe—ladies, too! The rule of thumb is to purchase one-third fewer clothes and spend three times as much on your new items. For some events, jeans are absolutely appropriate, but avoid looking sloppy. A carefully chosen ensemble simply reads success. 5. Don’t Diminish the Importance of Eye Contact I mentioned eye contact earlier, but I can’t express it enough. If you are distracted, whether by the crowd, your phone, or because you are shy, it devalues the relationship immediately. If you find it difficult to maintain eye contact, begin by looking between the person’s eyes, where the top of the nose begins. Eventually, you will become more comfortable, and you’ll experience the magic of reading the nuances and emotions that the eyes carry. 6. Remember, Remark, and Repeat Have you ever introduced yourself to someone, only to be acknowledged with this sorry excuse? “Please forgive me if I don’t remember your name; I’m terrible at names.” Why doesn’t the person just tell you that you don’t matter to her? The same person, if someone introduced himself and offered up a million dollars, would remember that person’s name with ease! (The ability to remember names decreases with age, but strengthening the memory is still possible.) Treat everyone like a million bucks by making a concerted effort to retain someone’s name, at least for the duration of the conversation. Repeat the name after the person says it: “It’s so nice to meet you, David.” Associate the name with someone in your life bearing the same name. Create an alliterative pattern involving something you know about the person, i.e., Susan in sales, Cindy from Cincinnati, Greg is gregarious. Lastly, eliminate the belief that you can’t remember names; you can only do what you believe you can. 7. Be Positive Nothing like being introduced to someone only to be greeted with, “Isn’t the weather lousy?” or “These appetizers are awful!” Choose a topic you are passionate about, and your eyes will light up, as will your smile. Ask questions that prompt the other party to continue his or her story because, after all, you are obviously very interested. Avoid talking about hardships as though you are a victim. Always leave a conversation on an upbeat note and people will want to come back for more. 8. Become Bilingual Your verbal language is not the only one you know. Hunched shoulders, crossed arms, and fidgety habits all speak to a lack of confidence. Before entering a room, use a power stance to feel like a superhero. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy’s research on body language reveals that we can change other people’s perceptions of us, and even our own body chemistry, simply by changing body positions. Try a playful approach. Before stepping into a public arena, strike a superhero pose, like Superman, with hands on hips, feet spread apart, and chin tilted toward the sky. Your internal and external energy will shift in seconds! (Do this in public at your own risk!)
- 1. Boost Your Desire to Connect Do you dread attending networking or social events? Look at it this way. Everyone there has a story. Walking into a room of people is like walking into a library or video store: There is so much to learn and enjoy! You never know how one person’s story may change your life or the course of your business. Seek out knowledge, inspiration, and great connections. Remember, a room full of people is your candy store, not your prison! 2. Be Present and Alert Challenging yourself to hear every word and notice every detail is no small task. That’s why those who do it stand out from the crowd. The human brain has from 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day; that’s 35 to 48 thoughts per minute! Practice bringing your mind back to the present when you drift off. Look people in the eye, smile when appropriate, and keep your energy high with humor and passion. People will feel valued and appreciated when you focus purely on them, leaving a lasting and favorable impression. 3. Drop the Serious Attitude People remember people who have humor and wit. You don’t have to be a gifted comedian to bring a laugh or two into your conversations. Share fun stories about your kids or pets, use self-deprecation moderately when you talk about past mistakes in a humorous manner, and address light-hearted topics rather than being all business. 4. Look the Part The very first impression people have of you is a visual one. Personal stylists and leadership trainers advise that you have at least one good suit in your wardrobe—ladies, too! The rule of thumb is to purchase one-third fewer clothes and spend three times as much on your new items. For some events, jeans are absolutely appropriate, but avoid looking sloppy. A carefully chosen ensemble simply reads success. 5. Don’t Diminish the Importance of Eye Contact I mentioned eye contact earlier, but I can’t express it enough. If you are distracted, whether by the crowd, your phone, or because you are shy, it devalues the relationship immediately. If you find it difficult to maintain eye contact, begin by looking between the person’s eyes, where the top of the nose begins. Eventually, you will become more comfortable, and you’ll experience the magic of reading the nuances and emotions that the eyes carry. 6. Remember, Remark, and Repeat Have you ever introduced yourself to someone, only to be acknowledged with this sorry excuse? “Please forgive me if I don’t remember your name; I’m terrible at names.” Why doesn’t the person just tell you that you don’t matter to her? The same person, if someone introduced himself and offered up a million dollars, would remember that person’s name with ease! (The ability to remember names decreases with age, but strengthening the memory is still possible.) Treat everyone like a million bucks by making a concerted effort to retain someone’s name, at least for the duration of the conversation. Repeat the name after the person says it: “It’s so nice to meet you, David.” Associate the name with someone in your life bearing the same name. Create an alliterative pattern involving something you know about the person, i.e., Susan in sales, Cindy from Cincinnati, Greg is gregarious. Lastly, eliminate the belief that you can’t remember names; you can only do what you believe you can. 7. Be Positive Nothing like being introduced to someone only to be greeted with, “Isn’t the weather lousy?” or “These appetizers are awful!” Choose a topic you are passionate about, and your eyes will light up, as will your smile. Ask questions that prompt the other party to continue his or her story because, after all, you are obviously very interested. Avoid talking about hardships as though you are a victim. Always leave a conversation on an upbeat note and people will want to come back for more. 8. Become Bilingual Your verbal language is not the only one you know. Hunched shoulders, crossed arms, and fidgety habits all speak to a lack of confidence. Before entering a room, use a power stance to feel like a superhero. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy’s research on body language reveals that we can change other people’s perceptions of us, and even our own body chemistry, simply by changing body positions. Try a playful approach. Before stepping into a public arena, strike a superhero pose, like Superman, with hands on hips, feet spread apart, and chin tilted toward the sky. Your internal and external energy will shift in seconds! (Do this in public at your own risk!)
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