Pflag learning thelingo

Getting Started: Learning the Lingo
Why am I encountering all these new words?
Because there is a lot of terminology and slang associated with the LGBTQ community!
Many of us have not heard it before or are unfamiliar with the current definitions. We
define some important terms here, sometimes using text from the PLFAG National
Glossary, and conclude by pointing you to more sources:
• Keep in mind that terminology is often in flux.
• We all don't learn every LGBTQ term overnight: it’s an ongoing process.
• What is important is that we realize that for many LGBTQ people, the words we
use to identify ourselves have enormous meaning and impact.
• Our willingness to ask, listen, and learn can make a huge difference.
1

What does LGBT stand for? And why are there other versions of it, like LGBTQ?
• LGBT is an acronym that collectively refers to individuals who are lesbian, gay,
bisexual, or transgender.
• It is sometimes stated as “GLBT” (gay, lesbian, bi, and transgender). This is simply
another usage of LGBT.
• Occasionally, the acronym is stated as “LGBTA” to include people who are asexual
or allies or “LGBTI,” with the “I” representing intersex.
• It’s becoming common to see it stated as “LGBTQ,” with “Q” representing queer or
questioning.
Source: PFLAG National
2

If LGBTQ groups these categories of people together, does that mean sexual
orientation and gender identity are the same thing?
• Actually, sexual orientation and gender identity are separate from each other and
come together in different combinations, too. We discuss that in the section
“What We Choose.”
• What unites LGBTQ people is that we experience discrimination based on our
sexual orientation and/or gender identity, because we are seen outside the
majority heterosexual or gender experience.
• While LGBTQ is a good umbrella term for the community, not all experiences or
issues are the same for all us. We need to understand the specific needs of each
group as well as our commonalities.
3

What is sexual orientation?
• Emotional, romantic, or sexual feelings towards other people.
• People who are straight experience these feelings primarily for people of a
different gender than their own.
• People who are gay or lesbian experience these feelings primarily for people of the
same gender; people who are bisexual experience these feelings for people of
different genders, though not always at the same time, and people who are
asexual experience no sexual attraction at all.
• Sexual orientation is part of the human condition, while sexual behavior involves
the choices one makes in acting on one’s sexual orientation.
4

What is sexual orientation? (cont’d)
• One’s sexual activity does not define who one is with regard to one’s sexual
orientation; it is the attraction that helps determine orientation.
• This means, for example, a transgender man might be attracted to other men, and
identify as gay, or be attracted to women, and identify as straight. In words, his
gender does not determine his sexual orientation.
5

What is a lesbian?
• A woman who is emotionally, romantically, and/or physically attracted to other
women.
• People who are lesbians need not have had any sexual experience; it is the
attraction that helps determine orientation.
6

What is gay?
• The adjective used to describe people who are emotionally, romantically, or
physically attracted to people of the same gender (e.g. gay man, gay people).
• In contemporary contexts, “lesbian” is often a preferred term for women, though
many women use the word “gay” to describe themselves.
• People who are gay need not have had any sexual experience; it is the attraction
that helps determine orientation.
7

What is bisexual? How is it different from pansexual?
• A bisexual is an individual who is emotionally, romantically, and/or physically
attracted to the same gender and different genders. Sometimes stated as “bi.”
• People who are bisexual need not have had equal sexual experience with people
of the same or different genders and, in fact, need not have had any sexual
experience at all; it is the attraction that helps determine orientation.
8

What is bisexual? How is it different from pansexual? (cont’d)
Pansexual differs from bisexual because it encompasses the full binary spectrum.
• A pansexual is a person whose emotional, romantic, and/or physical attraction is
to people of all gender identities and biological sexes.
• People who are pansexual need not have had any sexual experience; it is the
attraction that helps determine orientation.
9

What is gender?
• A set of social, psychological, or emotional traits, often influenced by societal
expectations, that classify an individual as male, female, a mixture of both, or
neither.
10

Is gender only binary?
• While most of us fit into the binary of male or female in terms of our gender, we
exclude certain human experiences when we think of gender as only binary.
• If we instead think of gender as a spectrum, rather than only female or male, it
helps us understand people who do not see themselves on only one side of the
binary, like a genderfluid, gender queer, gender expansive person.
• Similarly it helps us understand someone is pansexual and attracted to people on
all spectrums of the binary.
11

What is a genderfluid, gender queer, gender expansive person?
• A person who views their gender identity as one of many possible genders beyond
strictly female or male.
12

What is a transgender person?
• A term describing a person’s gender identity that does not necessarily match their
assigned sex at birth.
• Transgender people may or may not decide to alter their bodies hormonally
and/or surgically to match their gender identity.
• Sometimes shortened to “trans.” Other terms commonly used are “female to
male” (FTM), “male to female” (MTF), and “genderqueer.”
13

What is a transgender person? (cont’d)
• This word is also used as a broad umbrella term to describe those who transcend
conventional expectations of gender identity or expression. Like any umbrella
term, many different groups of people with different histories and experiences are
often included within the greater transgender community—such groups include,
but are certainly not limited to, people who identify as transsexual, genderqueer,
gender variant, gender diverse, and androgynous.
• A transgender person can be straight, gay or lesbian, or bisexual. Remember,
gender identity and sexual orientation are two separates entities.
14

What is questioning?
• A term used to describe those who are in a process of discovery and exploration
about their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, or a
combination thereof.
15

What is queer? Isn't it considered derogatory?
• Queer is term used by some people—particularly youth—to describe themselves
and/or their community.
• Reappropriated from its earlier negative use, the term is valued by some for its
defiance, by some because it can be inclusive of the entire community, and by
others who find it to be an appropriate term to describe their more fluid identities.
ReAppropriation is a cultural process by which a group (typically one that has
experienced discrimination) reclaims a term that was used by others to
disparage that group. By taking over the world and using it on their own terms,
the discriminated group can defuse the power of prejudice from the word.
16

What is queer? Isn't it considered derogatory? (cont’d)
• Because it is traditionally a negative or pejorative term for people who are gay,
“queer” is still sometimes disliked within the LGBTQ community. For people who
do not understand or believe in the reappropriation of slurs, it remains a painful
adjective.
• Due to its varying meanings, this word should only be used when self-identifying
or quoting someone who self-identifies as queer (i.e. “My cousin identifies as
genderqueer.”)
17

What is an ally?
• A term used to describe someone who does not identify as LGBTQ but who is
supportive of LGBTQ individuals and the community, either personally or as an
advocate.
18

What is the closet/closeted?
• The state where an LGBTQ person does not acknowledge or disclose their sexual
orientation or gender identity to anyone. In this case, we say the person is leading
a closeted life.
• People can be partially in the closet, where they choose only certain people to
disclose to. For example, they might only disclose to their close friends but to not
their employers, schools, or family members, or any combination thereof.
• Being in the closet can entail outwardly presenting oneself as straight, binary, or
gender assigned at birth, and making great pains to hide any facets of one’s life
that reveal otherwise.
• In some cases, the closet can also refer to a person who seems in denial about
being an LGBTQ person: that is, a person who completely suppresses their true
sexual orientation or gender identity even to themselves.
19

What is the closet/closeted? (cont’d)
• When someone discloses their sexual orientation and/gender identity, it can be
referred to as “coming out of the closet,” which is the origin of the more
commonly used phrase “coming out.”
• Coming out is not a one-time act because most people in our society assume
people are heterosexual and cisgender.
20

What if I hear more unfamiliar terms?
Feel free to ask us what they mean. We’re always happy to explain them to you at our
PFLAG Bellevue/Eastside meetings.
In addition, there are numerous LGBTQ glossaries online. In addition to the PFLAG
National Glossary of Terms, here are some other helpful ones:
• GLAAD Media Reference Guide from GLADD.
• Transgender Terminology from the organization National Center for Gender
Equality.
• Glossary: Additional Resources on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity from
Advocates of Youth.
21

Where can I find more information?
• Check our Recommended Reading list, which includes both fiction and nonfiction
books on topics pertinent to the LGBTQ community and its allies.
• For insight on growing up lesbian and gay, you might consult the memoirs Prairie
Silence: A Memoir and The Best Little Boy in the World.
• For transgender issues, you might consult the memoir Redefining Realness and the
book Transgender 101A Simple Guide to A Complex Issue.
• For parenting or understanding a genderfluid child, you might consult a mother’s
personal account of raising My Princess Boy.
• For an overview of bisexuality, you might consult the book Bi America: Myths,
Truths, and Struggles of an Invisible Community.
22

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