Queersmopolitan

AUDACIOUS MAGAZINE
FORBES
2017
QUEERSMOPOLITAN
15
TALKING GENDER,
SEXUALITY &
FEMINISM
A TIMELINE OF
INDIAN QUEER
HISTORY
LOVE, LIFE &
EQUALITY
COMICS,
CROSSWORDS,
MATRIMONIALS &
MORE

QUEERSMOPOLITAN
Editorial
ayeshni dasgupta Editor & designer
elisha george Editor & designer
priyanka basu Editor & designer
purva raghunath Editor & designer
shweta chopra Editor & designer
sravana kalvapalli Editor & designer
Contributors
jaysri thangam, kothapalli
gopichand, namrata chhabria
Subscriptions
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info@QUEERSMOPOLITAN.com
CAREERS:
For Witty and Free-Thinking Individuals who want
to breathe Freedom into the deafening silence,
write to us at careers@QUEERSMOPOLITAN.com
Published monthly by Ashoka Publishing Inc.
All Rights Reserved.

c
o
n
t
e
n
t
s
4
Terms and
Definitions
8 Comickaze
33
Busting myths!
9
Gender, Sexuality &
Feminism - interview
17
On Marriage Equality
and more - interview
12
From the bookshelf16
Far gone - poetry
3 Editorial
20
Filmy Adda
26
Word Play
From the other side
34
Queer history timeline
Matrimonials 23
Six Pack Band - feature
38
40
42
Enough - short story

Our course on ‘Women, Society and Changing India’, has allowed us
to develop a more nuanced understanding of our society and its deep
patriarchal underpinnings, than before. In the process, we touched
upon the devastating impact of patriarchy on queer communities.
When we came together as a group to deliberate on our project, we felt
it would be a great addition to our own learning, and that of the cohort
as a whole, if we engaged more deeply with the subject.
As Nivedita Menon puts it in “Seeing like a Feminist”, “What links queer
people to couples who love across caste and community lines is the
fact that both are exercising their right to love at enormous personal
risk.” We, as feminists, aim to question this patriarchal construct and
Section 377 of Indian Penal Code. Is it really natural to be “normal”?
Who defines what is “normal”? This cisgender, heterosexual, “normal”
space, that is held up by several cultural, economic and bio-medical
constructs of the society, must be questioned. Our endeavour to better
understand the queer world is presented in the form of this magazine -
one that is inclusive of, and caters to, sexual and gender minorities as
an audience.
Queersmopolitan has allowed us to creatively, yet critically engage with
the subject of queerness, particularly in the Indian context. We are
grateful to our professor Urvashi Butalia, as well as our TAs Suha and
Vedika for guiding us through this endeavour, and giving us this
opportunity. We would also like to thank our fellow classmates who
have expressed themselves and contributed to the magazine, in the
form of creative pieces on this subject.
Our hope is that Queersmopolitan will help foster deeper
understanding and empathy amongst our readers, and will take us a
few steps closer to a more equal and just society.
EDITORIAL
“Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable
seeing two men holding guns than holding hands? ” ―
Ernest J. Gaines
Ayeshni Elisha Priyanka
Purva Shweta Sravana

LGBT, LGBTLQ, LGBTQA, TBLG: These acronyms refer to Lesbian, Gay,
Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, and Asexual or Ally.
Although all of the different identities within “LGBT” are often lumped
together (and share sexism as a common root of oppression), there are
specific needs and concerns related to each individual identity.
Asexual: A person who generally does not feel sexual attraction or desire
to any group of people. Asexuality is not the same as celibacy.
Ally: Typically any non-LGBT person who supports and stands up for the
rights of LGBT people, though LGBT people can be allies, such as a lesbian
who is an ally to a transgender person.
Biphobia: Aversion toward bisexuality and bisexual people as a social
group or as individuals. People of any sexual orientation can experience
such feelings of aversion. Biphobia is a source of discrimination against
bisexuals, and may be based on negative bisexual stereotypes or
irrational fear.
Bisexual: A person who is attracted to both people of their own gender
and another gender. Also called “bi”.
Cisgender: Types of gender identity where an individual's experience of
their own gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth.
Coming Out: The process of acknowledging one’s sexual orientation
and/or gender identity to other people. For most LGBT people this is a life-
long process.
Terms and Definitions

Gay: A person who is attracted primarily to members of the same sex.
Although it can be used for any sex (e.g. gay man, gay woman, gay
person), “lesbian” is sometimes the preferred term for women who are
attracted to women.
Gender expression: A term which refers to the ways in which we each
manifest masculinity or femininity. It is usually an extension of our
“gender identity,” our innate sense of being male, female, etc. Each of us
expresses a particular gender every day – by the way we style our hair,
select our clothing, or even the way we stand. Our appearance, speech,
behavior, movement, and other factors signal that we feel – and wish to
be understood – as masculine or feminine, or as a man or a woman.
Gender identity: The sense of “being” male, female, genderqueer,
agender, etc. For some people, gender identity is in accord with physical
anatomy. For transgender people, gender identity may differ from
physical anatomy or expected social roles. It is important to note that
gender identity, biological sex, and sexual orientation are separate and
that you cannot assume how someone identifies in one category based on
how they identify in another category.
Genderqueer: A term which refers to individuals or groups who “queer” or
problematize the hegemonic notions of sex, gender and desire in a given
society. Genderqueer people possess identities which fall outside of the
widely accepted sexual binary (i.e. "men" and "women"). Genderqueer
may also refer to people who identify as both transgendered AND queer,
i.e. individuals who challenge both gender and sexuality regimes and see
gender identity and sexual orientation as overlapping and interconnected.
Heterosexual: A person who is only attracted to members of the opposite
sex. Also called “straight."

Homophobia: A range of negative attitudes and feelings toward
homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian,
gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT). It can be expressed as antipathy,
contempt, prejudice, aversion, or hatred, may be based on irrational fear,
and is sometimes related to religious beliefs.
Homosexual: A clinical term for people who are attracted to members of
the same sex. Some people find this term offensive.
Intersex: A person whose sexual anatomy or chromosomes do not fit with
the traditional markers of "female" and "male." For example: people born
with both "female" and "male" anatomy (penis, testicles, vagina, uterus);
people born with XXY.
In the closet: Describes a person who keeps their sexual orientation or
gender identity a secret from some or all people.
Lesbian: A woman who is primarily attracted to other women.
Queer: 1) An umbrella term sometimes used by LGBTQA people to refer to
the entire LGBT community. 2) An alternative that some people use to
"queer" the idea of the labels and categories such as lesbian, gay, bisexual,
etc. Similar to the concept of genderqueer. It is important to note that the
word queer is an in-group term, and a word that can be considered
offensive to some people, depending on their generation, geographic
location, and relationship with the word.
Questioning: For some, the process of exploring and discovering one's own
sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.
Pansexual: A person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or
spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions, not
just people who fit into the standard gender binary (i.e. men and women).

Sexual orientation: The type of sexual, romantic, and/or physical
attraction someone feels toward others. Often labeled based on the gender
identity/expression of the person and who they are attracted to. Common
labels: lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, etc.
Transgender: This term has many definitions. It is frequently used as an
umbrella term to refer to all people who do not identify with their
assigned gender at birth or the binary gender system. This includes
transsexuals, cross-dressers, genderqueer, drag kings, drag queens, two-
spirit people, and others. Some transgender people feel they exist not
within one of the two standard gender categories, but rather somewhere
between, beyond, or outside of those two genders.
Transphobia: The fear or hatred of transgender people or gender non-
conforming behavior. Like biphobia, transphobia can also exist among
lesbian, gay, and bisexual people as well as among heterosexual people.
Transsexual: A person whose gender identity is different from their
biological sex, who may undergo medical treatments to change their
biological sex, often times to align it with their gender identity, or they
may live their lives as another sex.
Note:
It is very important to respect people’s desired self-identifications. One
should never assume another person’s identity based on that person’s
appearance. It is always best to ask people how they identify, including
what pronouns they prefer, and to respect their wishes.
Source: http://www.stop-homophobia.com

COMICKAZE
WHENTHESIREHASWHATYOUDESIRE
goingfromoffspringtoonspringtoaweinspiring

Queer History timeline
Sushruta Samhita , Sangam
Literature and Kamasutra
describes homosexual practises
600 BCE
900-1130 AD
Construction Khajuraho Temples
that depict the passion of all
sexual orientations
12th Century
Jayamangala is composed and
stands as a proponent of
homosexual union
October, 1860
The Indian Law Commission, under
British Government introduces
Section 377, an antisodomy statute.
1888 Lal bazaars are suspended and
prostitution is made illegal by the
Contagious Disease Act.
November 26, 1949
The Indian Constitution comes into
effect yet homosexuality remains
an offence

Sept 2, 2004
2001
Naz Foundation, files PIL in Delhi
High Court seeking legalisation of
gay sex
High Court dismisses the PIL
seeking decriminalisation of gay
sex.
Sept 25, 2008
Gay rights activists contend that
the government cannot infringe
upon their fundamental right to
equality
July 2009
60 years after Independence,
High Court of Delhi
decriminalised Section 377
2009
16 Special Leave Petitions filed in
the Supreme Court to challenge
the ruling
2009
WHaQ! (We are Here and
Queer!), a small collective of
queer women, is founded in
Bangalore
2012
Asia’s first Genderqueer Pride
Parade is organized in Madurai.
Dec 11, 2013
SC overrules the 2009 Delhi
High Court order which had
decriminalised gay sex
Dec 20, 2013Govt petitions Supreme Court to
drop gay sex ban
Jan 28, 2014
Supreme Court dismisses the
Central government petition
2014The Supreme Court recognizes
the need for hijra civil rights
and welfare

2014 India’s first lesbian and bi-
women match-making service,
Wonderful Things Happen, is
founded.
2014
Mission for Indian Gay and
Lesbian Empowerment (MINGLE)
organizes the first LGBT youth
leadership summit in India.
2014
Maya for Women, a feminist
and queer women’s NGO is
founded in Bangalore India by
WHaQ!
2016
Amour, an LGBTIQ platform is
established to help queer folk find
companions.
February, 2016
The Supreme Court refuses to
re-examine the petition to
strike down Section 377.
2016
India abstains from a vote at the
UN Hunan Rights Council on the
issue LGBT community
May 5, 2016
In West Bengal Assembly
Elections, transgenders were
officially allowed to cast their
vote in the "others" category
2017
Homosexuality still remains a
criminal offence with a sentence of
up to 10 years in jail

KrugerNationalPark
LifeandLove
inthe
WildernessofAfrica
HoneymoonPackage
3days2nights

GENDER, SEXUALITY
& FEMINISM W I T H D R . K A R T H I K B I T T U
Being a transman, which can be considered a
minority inside the trans community itself, how
included do you feel in the feminist movement?
I think that people who identify themselves with
the word feminist are very often people who
identify themselves with a very western/white
notion of feminism, dominant class etc., So
white feminism has a particular history of
transphobia not of queerphobia actually.
Extreme transphobia where they are actually
more discriminatory towards transwomen than
they’re towards transmen. Trans exclusionary
feminism is more likely to be found among the
upper class, upper caste Indian feminists whose
ideas of feminism come from this very western
notion of feminism. But even so, I’d say, over all
Indian feminists are not nearly as trans
exclusionary as western feminists and it has to
do with the historical presence of transwomen
in the subcontinent. Within the trans
community, a lot of transwomen don’t believe
that transmen are real. As a
INTERVIEW
Dr. Karthik Bittu is
currently an
Associate Professor
of Biology and
Psychology at
Ashoka University

"THE LAW, THEREFORE, DOES NOT
RECOGNIZE A WHOLE RANGE OF
SEXUALITIES, INCLUDING STRAIGHT
SEXUALITIES, AS BEING VALID OR
WORTHY OF PROTECTION OR
WORTHY OF THE SAME KIND OF
SUPPORT AS MARITAL
RELATIONSHIPS. SO I THINK THAT’S
THE DIVIDING LINE, IT’S NOT
ACTUALLY QUEER OR STRAIGHT.
THAT’S WHY, I THINK, THAT THE
QUEER MOVEMENT NEEDS TO MAKE
STRONGER CONNECTIONS WITH THE
MOVEMENT OF STRAIGHT PEOPLE
WHO ARE BATTLING THE
INSTITUTION OF COMPULSORY
MARRIAGE."

starting position, because they’ve never really
seen transguys. But, it is just one of those things
that takes time and exposure to get quite used
to the idea. It is a struggle within the trans
community, it is a kind of struggle within the
feminist community because there are people
who identify as feminists who are not queer
friendly, but the feminist movement as a whole I
wouldn’t say is transphobic or queer phobic.
In the Indian context, if you think about the legal
system, it does identify transgenders, but does not
identify different forms of sexuality which seems
very ironic in itself because it assumes that
somehow people who do not identify with being
male or female do not have a sex life...
It is true but it is not just true of the
government or the law per say, even in the
Indian working class queer (if you’d like to call
it queer) framework, the community defines
itself around gender and not sexuality. The
centre of the LGBTQ community is the hijra
community which defines itself around gender.
A range of queer and gender-fluid people who
range from identifying themselves as male in
some ways based on birth, conditioning and so
on,but who identify as feminine with respect to
their desires to men or who identify entirely as
male, except for the fact that they are bottoms
in the context of relationship with a man, from
that range of femininity to being fully feminine-
identified but not interested in surgery or any
kind of physical transformation to join the hijra
"if you want to put your arm
around someone, it is easier
to do it with a partner of the
same perceived gender than
of the opposite gender. In
some of those ways it is easier
being queer and affectionate
in public places than straight
and affectionate in public
places. But that’s just one
aspect of it."
community, that full range is captured in the
word ‘gothi’. The fact that the trans population
recognize the ‘Gothi’ means that the trans
population recognizes people with that range of
gender and associated sexuality; it is not really
separated from it. The law has recognized the
community’s notion of itself. It doesn’t fit in a
western LGBT framework, which actually
defines sexuality but not gender (, which is
generally because in the west, sex). I don’t think
that queer people have it worse than straight
people in India. Because I think that straight
couples who refuse to get married or who have
inter caste relationships or inter-religious
relationships have as much of a difficult time if
not worse sometimes than many same sex
couples who might be, say, socio-economically
matched to each other in the dominant
paradigm. So, it is not as simple as it seems. All
factors being equal it is harder being queer than
straight. But that doesn’t mean that a queer
person is automatically more oppressed than a
straight couple. In general, it is sex outside the
marital framework that is frowned upon and
punished here, doesn’t matter if that sex is
queer or straight. In fact I’ve always found it
much easier, if I’m read as female to find
accommodation or a whole range of things with
a female partner than with a male partner and
vice versa. If I’m read as a guy, I’m not able to
stay somewhere with a female friend, whereas I
can do this with a male friend easily. So many
factors do come into play. I think certainly,

straight sex outside of marriage is frowned upon to the
extent that when two people have been around each
other for so long everyone assumes they’re married,
they don’t know that they’re not married, even when
people have resisted the institution. That’s sort of my
short answer to that more complicated question. The
law, therefore, does not recognize a whole range of
sexualities, including straight sexualities, as being valid
or worthy of protection or worthy of the same kind of
support as marital relationships. So I think that’s the
dividing line, it’s not actually queer or straight. That’s
why, I think, that the queer movement needs to make
stronger connections with the movement of straight
people who are battling the institution of compulsory
marriage.
We look at the US somehow as the ideal of liberalism….
I don’t
But in India, a lot of people do think that….
A lot of people do and a lot of people also mistakenly
think that it’s easier being queer or trans there and
that’s not how I feel, I’ve lived in both places and India is
much more trans-friendly
This is exactly what we wanted to ask you about...
More queer-friendly in some ways also. It’s more anti-
sex. You can’t kiss your partner on the street whether
you’re straight or queer.
You’re equally discriminated! *laugh together*
But if you want to put your arm around someone, it is
easier to do it with a partner of the same perceived
gender than of the opposite gender. In some of those
ways it is easier being queer and affectionate in public
places than straight and affectionate in public
places. But that’s just one aspect of it; there’s
family approval, finding the places, protections
under the law. For instance, in general, for
example in the US, laws are also much more
strict around emergency rooms for example, so
apart from, one of the reasons people were
fighting for at least a domestic partnership is
that, they want to have rights to be in the
hospital with their loved ones. Because in the
US you need to be a relative to be allowed inside
the emergency room or a legally recognized
partner. So, those were some of the reasons for
which people made compelling arguments for
needing the institution of marriage. But in India
all of those institutions are so weak. Anybody
can go into an ER. In India it is understood that
friendship is a really strong thing. If you tell
them that you’re the patient’s friend they will
let you in. Over all there’s an understanding in
India, of course marriage has it’s place, if
there’s a competition between a friend and a
partner or friend and a wife/husband, it’s clear
that the wife/husband wins, but it is also
understood that friendship is a strong thing and
it’s entirely possible for someone to be brought
to the ER by someone other than a partner,
which is much less likely to happen in the US. So
I think there are various ways in which the
weakening of some institutions here and the
strengthening of some others, makes the
barriers faced by queer people much more
stronger and much more visible. And this is
apart from the more gross level of violence that
one faces on a daily basis while walking down
the street for being queer/trans.
End

From the Bookshelf
Patriarchy asserts men are superior to women
Feminism clarifies women and men are equal
Queerness questions what constitutes male and
female
Queerness isn’t only modern, Western or sexual,
says mythologist Devdutt Pattanaik. Take a close
look at the vast written and oral traditions in
Hinduism, some over two thousand years old, and
you will find many overlooked tales, such as those of
Shikhandi, who became a man to satisfy her wife;
Mahadeva, who became a woman to deliver his
devotee’s child; Chudala, who became a man to
enlighten her husband; Samavan, who became the
wife of his male friend; and many more . . .
Playful and touching—and sometimes disturbing
—these stories when compared with their
Mesopotamian, Greek, Chinese and Biblical
counterparts, reveal the unique Indian way of
making sense of queerness.
"Devdutt Patnaik does not disappoint ever, as his
latest work proves again. Shikhandi rides on the
brilliance of two things primarily: the meticulous
research of the author and the superb introduction
to the stories, where Pattanaik puts forth the
relevance of these tales in contemporary times.
And yet avoids being overly judgemental, to be fair
to all readers. Also, the lucid narration of these
stories, some of which may have hardly existed in
written form before, makes you want to understand
the issue, even if you have consciously or
unconsciously been trying not to do so till now." -
Mekhla, Mumbai
While reading this book I felt cheated, many
times. I have read the Ramayana and
Mahabharata and now I realise they were very
digested versions, what we learned is what needs
to be passed on to the next generation.This book
is a must read for people who advocate for
'Queer Rights'. My eyes popped out while reading
many of the chapters and I think most readers will
relate to it who know parts of the stories told here
but not the whole story. The title of the book is
apt- these definitely are stories that elders choose
not to tell or probably don't know themselves. -
Shashank, Chandigarh
Reader reviews...
This month we feature 'Shikhandi and Other Tales They Don't Tell You'
by mythologist Devdutt Pattanaik.

I walked into the slightly dingy
studio and saw her lost in an
empty canvas,
Pulled up a chair and said,
You'll never believe where I've just
been.
I'll never forget those gleaming
eyes staring back at me.
She was a sailor.
She told me her boat had
capsized with her mother on
board, but thankfully no one
drowned.
Well, I drowned a little that day
I was at the mall with the
boyfriend and she was there with
her girlfriend.
She saw me and called out to me.
I couldn't talk to him for hours
after.
I knew it was over.
We were travelling a few months
later
And took a walk in the Delhi
winter somewhere in between
art and reality.
She touched me like a blind man,
And said "I could kiss you right
now!"
I laughed and reminded her that
her girlfriend wouldn't be
pleased.
We went sailing,
And I wasn't half bad she said.
The bottom of the boat jammed
into the underside of my foot
and we plopped into the water
and flopped about,

I was in love, but like the sea, I
left her to herself, the salt
water licking my wounds.
She was too beautiful to hold.
I drove my car out of the port
that day,
Shaking, quivering, hurting.
Afraid to confront myself.
Because what I felt for her,
Wasn't some "I'm experimenting
with my sexuality" kind of feeling.
It had the most fearsome depth
I'd felt.
She was the scent of
Burberry's Weekender,
She was the trick of keeping
paint wet, by spraying it with
drops of water from a spray
can.
She was the limited edition
handout by Judy Chicago's
biographer.
She was like dancing on a yacht
at sunset.
She's about fighting for the
turtles and crocodiles,
She was raging spitfire about
her political stance,
She's everything I leave unsaid.
I can't reduce this to I kissed a
girl and I liked it.
I didn't kiss this one, because
she's left me far gone.
.

Say Yes
To Some
Butts
SAY NO
TO OTHERS
Indian Tobacco Control Project

I try to focus on the red lampshade but the
room keeps spinning. The crimson shadows
on the walls remind me of a fancy
whorehouse. The smell of pungent weed and
teenage sweat is in the air. Through the haze
of smoke, I can discern shapes. I see spiked
hair, glinting earrings, maroon shirts and
blue dresses. I see the green flash of light
blinking on expensive JBL speakers – eyes in
the darkness that I cannot look away from.
While everyone around me engages in wild
pre-mating rituals, tamed only barely by the
presence of other people engaging in wild
pre-mating rituals in the same public space;
I’m having my own mating ritual with the
speakers. Step one: Listen to the music,
become the music, nothing matters but the
music. Step two: Stare at the beautiful green
eyes looking back at you. Step three:
Systematically forget the world around you.

This room is the manifestation of broken
dreams. Shattered, splintered, spent.
Damage, drowning itself in sharp whiskey
and rum. Run away, run away, run away.
From everything you are and from what it
means to be human. This room, it is the
temple of the depraved and maybe, just
maybe this is what it means to be human?
You sit by me and I can see your lips move. I
hear your soft voice, like the lilting melody
of a song that I can barely remember. I reach
out and try to grab the song, I try to grab the
feeling, but it dissolves into sad puddles the
closer I get. The gentle curve of the corner of
your lips makes me ache. I want to reach out
and run my fingers along the pink. Along the
place where the pink melts into your skin,
erasing the boundaries between human
features. I want to reach out and scar that
beautiful lipstick till it’s a mess, erasing the
boundaries that exist between you and me.
You are still speaking but I have not heard a
word.
I take sips of my whiskey, shining gold,
warmth in a glass, the elixir of life. When my
eyes flutter open, I see you looking back at
me. You know I haven’t been listening. That
pretty mouth is scowling and I can see a
quick flash of anger in your eyes. It makes
me want to laugh but I settle for brushing a
strand of hair away from your face. There’s
surprise written all over your face and a
faint look of understanding, calling to you
from a far off place.
In the dead of night, in the den of the
degenerate, in that little space of light pink
between your lips and your skin, in the
distance between your eyes and mine, there
is a silent scream of tamed desire. A shot of
adrenaline courses through my veins; the
hormone mixes with the whiskey in my
bloodstream and produces a heady effect.
I want to lift my hand and pull you closer but
my heavy limbs refuse to move. I want to put
my hands in your wild hair and kiss those
pretty lips till you’re fighting to breathe. My
tongue in your mouth and yours in mine,
exchanging saliva and bits of soul. I want to
touch your body and feel it melt like flowing
water under my fingers. I want to shape and
mould your desire like clay. I want to tear
screams of pleasure and orgasms from deep,
dark places. I want to tell you that this is
what I want but I do not. I want to rage and
laugh and weep at the strength of my need
but I do not. I settle for a tired smile instead.
I shift my hand so it lies on yours. I trace the
outlines of your veins, from your fingers to
your wrist, over and over again. A hypnotic
motion that sings of catharsis. Through the
chaos in my mind, I think of forbidden loves,
or maybe forbidden lusts. I’m not really sure
which one it is, but amidst the smoke and the
music, it does not matter.
I say, “You’re so pretty in white.” Six words,
creaking under the weight of words left
unsaid. I see the red light leave patterns on
your face, pools of shadows under your eyes;
a drip, drip, dripping testament to every
sleepless minute. The dark depths of your
eyes are seductive and inviting and
terrifying. I fear for my sanity. Your leg
brushes against mine, skin on skin.
Electricity shoots through my body and a
delicious warmth creeps up my insides. I tell
myself, one moment. Just one moment of
indulgence. We maintain eye contact as I let
my fantasy carry me. The skin that is in
contact with yours is painfully pulsing,
constantly reminding me how alive I am in
this moment. One patch of skin connecting
with an ancient part of me that was formed
through years of rebirth, concentrating all of
the stories of humanity.

Enough, I think to myself, that is enough.
I stand, to the best of my ability keeping in mind the copious amounts of alcohol I have ingested.
I see the tip of your ear poking through waves of lush hair and that is what almost finishes me.
Enough.
I smooth down my skirt and push my wild hair out of my eyes. Enough.
I smile through the agony and say, “Good night!” Enough.
You smile and wave. Your fingers are blurry and melt into each other, slow, sludgy movement.
The heaviness of your fingers is a reflection of the sick, the dark and the heavy finding a place to
rest inside me. Enough.
I walk to my room, cradling my broken dreams. Shattered, splintered, spent. I think of the
hairpin bend of your lips and the quiet, cruel voice of hope whispers, maybe next time. Maybe
next time. But I cannot afford this soothing balm and so I tell myself, for the final time, enough.

www.shoddy.com
Love for everyone
But marriage for some?
WWW.SHODDY.COM
we're not shoddy
unlike the institution of shaadi

~ Anish Malhotra, 26, New Delhi
Contact: +91 8278345198
~ Meghna Das, 28, Orissa
Contact: +91-9998823235 or
meghna.downwithpatriarchy@gmail.com
~ Kavitha Krishnamurthy, 25,
Bangalore
Contact: +91-9999944444 or
kavitha.krishnamurthy@gmail.com

~ Secun D’Chance, 40, Bombay
Contact: +91 9729756408 or
secundchance1987@gmail.com
~ Narender Mudi, 33, Varanasi
Contact: therealswachbharat@gmail.com
~Tara Singh , 43, Lucknow
Contact: +91-9999944444 or
dogsbetterthanpeople@gmail.com

ON MARRIAGE
EQUALITY
AND
MORE
Rohan Gupta, in conversation with
our correspondent Shweta Chopra
What is the difference between life before
and after marriage for you?
Honestly, not much of a difference. My partner,
Eddy, and I have been together for 8 years. Gay
marriage was legal in New York state, but not
federally. The only real difference is that I don’t
need a visa anymore because I’m a permanent
resident, and I now have health insurance and
stuff, as a result of my marriage. Not too many
changes in terms of our personal life, because
our relationship was such.
Rohan Gupta is an
actor and filmmaker
based in New York
Rohan at his wedding, in New York

How important was it to you that you get married and
why?
It was important, it’s good to have your marriage
recognized. It was more practical than it was emotional,
for us though. Things like health insurance, green card,
are sorted now. If something happens to us, we can visit
each other in the hospital, we’re next of kin now, which
we weren’t before.
What was your reaction to the Supreme Court verdict
on Marriage Equality in the US?
Oh we were very happy. Very very happy, because it
meant a lot to so many people. Also, I think for the
world it was important for a country like the USA to take
this step. It wasn’t the first country to do it, but it was
important that the US took this step, given it’s such
an influential country. I was also very happy for a lot of
my friends and professors who’d been in relationships for
really long, I remember my theatre professor and her
girlfriend being really happy that they now had the choice
to get married if they wanted, and just these instances
made me extremely happy.
Do you travel often to India? How is your marriage
perceived by friends and family back here?
I travel to India at least once a year and I’m very fortunate
to have friends and family who have been very
supportive of me throughout. I am extremely lucky
and privileged to have not experienced a single negative
incident, being a gay man in India. That’s not to say my
friends haven’t and not to say it’s been easy. But my
marriage has received a lot of support, and in fact most
people complain that we didn’t do any marriage
ceremony here, and that we must celebrate here in India.
What do you feel are the differences in living as an
openly gay man in India versus the US?
It’s very different because, it’s not that I don’t know
people who are openly gay here but say in places like the
workplace here, there is still a lot of discrimination.
Renting an apartment, being two men would be very
challenging. People would obviously be talking, not that
what they think is important. But what scares me is that
one day, what if they walk into my house, drag me out
and do something to me? The Shiv Sena can come and
evict you and humiliate you. I mean, even straight
couples have it hard in india, so forget about gay couples.
You’re not going to be as open as a straight couple either
over here, because people are judgemental as hell. They
won’t give you hotel rooms or apartments. So if they can
kill someone over eating suspect meat, god knows what
they can do for what they perceive as ‘immoral activities’.
That worries me.
"if they can kill someone over eating
suspect meat, god knows what they
can do for what they perceive as
‘immoral activities’"
Rohan with his partner, Eddy

"But I instantly started thinking of kids in school, back in India,
who were now told that who they love, or who they desire is
wrong. And that it is criminally wrong. That is a big burden to
have. "
But I know a lot of people, who are openly gay, and don’t
seem to be facing too much discrimination. They also
come from extremely privileged backgrounds, from bigger
cities though. I honestly don’t know what it would be like
for the man on the ground, I can only imagine the
hardship. Though it has gotten better and people are more
aware now. More and more people end up meeting at
least one gay person in their lives these days.
You must be aware of the controversy regarding
Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, any hopes for
marriage equality in India?
That’s a very tough question. So when I was a kid and
had gone to the US for college, people used to ask me
this question, and I used to say that Gay Rights are a first
world problem. India had far too many problems to worry
about at that stage for this to get any attention, I’m talking
about the 90s and early 2000s. So I was genuinely
surprised when the high court came out with its verdict,
but then equally disappointed when the Supreme Court
came out with its decision. I remember I was ok in my life
at that point, But I instantly started thinking of kids in
school, back in India, who were now told that who they
love, or who they desire is wrong. And that it is criminally
wrong. That is a big burden to have.
I remember calling up a friend of mine and saying, “yaar I
feel like I’m in highschool again”. It's very lonely being gay
in India. Not a lot of people come out, so for a long time you
are the only gay person you know, like in my case. I was
the only gay person I knew until I met somebody in Delhi a
long time ago and we became close friends, because we
were both going through the same thing.
What hopes do I have for marriage equality in India? None.
I don’t see it happening for at least 30 years, specially at
the rate we’re going. It's too much of a hot potato subject
for the legislature right now. Part of that lies with society.
Maybe we’re more accepting than before, but we’re not
talking enough about it. The struggle is so hard for people
in our country usually, that they spend their time worrying
how to make a living for their family, and don’t have time to
think about these issues that seem to lie on the periphery.
Which is why I say, the moment they know someone
experiencing this struggle, then they will start thinking about
these things.
Rohan studied at
Bard College in New
York, where he met
his partner Eddy
Rohan at his wedding, in New York

Things that can help that are more people coming out and
certainly film and television need to play a big role. In America,
shows like ‘Will and Grace’ played a huge role in the
acceptance factor of it, in the mainstreaming of it, and allowing
people to talk about it openly without being embarrassed or
being ridiculed. Greater awareness happened, because more
people came out. Would it help if there are public figures who
are openly gay? Yes, a helluva lot. It would make a huge huge
difference.
The moment you know somebody going through something,
you become more likely to want them to have what they want,
and you're less likely to discriminate against them. So that, I
think, needs to start changing. And maybe it is slowly.
What is the biggest challenge you feel the LGBT
community in India faces?
I think misunderstanding is probably the biggest one. People
are not aware of what it means to be gay. They assume that
people are deviants, or this or that. Or that it's a phase, it can
be cured. This is just a lack of awareness more than anything
else. And, I would even go so far to say, even a lack of
empathy. People just don’t get what it’s like, or how hard it
could get. I mean, I’m thinking about what it must be like to be a
gay person in an Indian village, who can you talk to, who will
understand you.
Yeah there is a huge lack of awareness, people will say 'chakka
hai', 'hijra hai', 'yeh hai, woh hai'. And they make stupid snide
jokes. But it's usually not intelligent gay jokes, and comes from
a place of plain ignorance.
What would you say to people who are ignorant about
homosexuality?
I try not to talk people like that to be honest with you. And, but
I’m thinking about when I came out and people had many
questions. People always have questions, and I’m usually
happy to answer them because it comes from a lack of
information and awareness. I would try to educate them. I’d
ask, what's so different between you and me. And I also don’t
believe I’m defined by my sexuality, it's only a part of who I am.
And I would try to explain that to them as well. Just don’t see
me only for this. There are a million other things that I am
about, that are far more interesting than me being gay. This just
happens to be who I want to be with.
So that’s what I’d try to do, and come at them from a place of
patience. Because i genuinely know that they probably don’t
know any better. And if they still choose to continue with these
beliefs then i have no business talking to them. They can live
their lives happily, I wish them well, just don’t come near me.
"Just don’t see
me only for this.
There are a
million other
things that I am
about, that are
far more
interesting than
me being gay."
Rohan will be making
his professional
theatre debut with the
Berkley Rep's musical
stage production of
Monsoon Wedding
What was the process of coming out like for
you?
Very challenging. First you figure it out for yourself
and accept it for yourself, which takes a long time.
For a lot of people it doesn’t happen until much later
on in their life. I was lucky enough to be self aware
early on in life. I began by telling some of my friends
and my brother, then my parents sort of found out
and that was like chaosBecause they had all these
dreams and aspirations for their children, and they
realized that not all of them were going to work out in
the way they had thought they would work out. So
that was again a very trying time, but I had to be very
patient.

"So I tried to be patient and answer all their questions, no matter
how weird they were or how intrusive they were. Just because it
was helping them and their relationship with me. But it wasn’t
easy."
Initially I wasn't very patient at all, I was very angry with
my parents for reacting the way they did. But they came
from a place of concern, and again, they didn’t know
anything about being gay. My mom had a few friends
because of advertising, but she never really knew them
knew them, never really discussed this part of their
lives. So a lot of it was educating my own parents. They
educated themselves a lot as well. There’s a lot of
misinformation like 'gay hai toh AIDS hoga', so that
needed to be dealt with as well.
Weird questions they asked me, but then if you
genuinely want to deal with it effectively you make the
effort. So I tried to be patient and answer all their
questions, no matter how weird they were or how
intrusive they were. Just because it was helping them
and their relationship with me. But it wasn’t easy.
Specially in that, what was it 2003, when they found
out. India was also different then, the world was
different, it wasn’t so open. All this wasn’t talked about
at all.
What is more challenging, the process of figuring
things out for yourself, or the struggle with people
you love?
See again, I was very fortunate to not have a very
negative experience. Okay there was a lot of questions, a
lot of misunderstanding, a lot of tears in the family, but it
wasn't like 'ghar se nikal jao'. I don't think i was hard to
accept it for myself, but it was more of a figuring out
process. I knew it was going be challenging and difficult,
but i think i was okay with that. But I do know people for
whom that has been a struggle. Then eventually finally
they are able to make peace with it. Because everyone
has their own baggage, like I have a friend who’s a
catholic. For the longest time, he actually thought that he
was sinning. Until he realized that all of that was bullshit.
He’s still a catholic now. But he takes from that what he
wants now. I don't think he goes to church, but he still
loves his religion and loves his god.
It's a very varied experience. I know ppl who didn’t know
till they were 30-40, got married, had kids, then one day
Eddy with Rohan's mom, Anita

realized that this is who i am, it's not just a thought in
my head that I can change.
Given recent political developments, are you
apprehensive regarding the Trump Administration
Yes, of course it worries me. The day he got elected I
was like, shit am I still going to be married after 2 years.
But then people explained to me that it's very
challenging to overturn the Supreme Court’s decision,
and it's unlikely to be revisited by the court. I am
worried though.
There is a lot of discrimination that he can put in place.
He’s already considering something called the
‘Religious Freedom Act’ where people can ‘honour their
conscience’. So you can legally discriminate against
gay people because of your religious beliefs. And it
comes from the really absurd part of the Bible which
contains a lot of other bullshit, so its selective in their
choosing, which is what really bothers me about it. I
don’t think that those people want to listen to reason
either, which is scary. But do I fundamentally think my
rights will be taken away? Not really, because I live in
New York, which is this lovely little liberal bubble in
America, where anything goes. Because people have
far more important things to worry about than who
you’re sleeping with.
Was there any gay icon you looked up to, or whose
story touched you?
Oscar Wilde was a role model of mine, because he was
a genius. So I was like, no matter what happens, even
if he was persecuted the way he was, at least you can
do what you want to do in life, and you can let your
work speak for itself. The fact that he is, still today, so
widely read, and taught as part of curriculum says a lot.
Its very sad what happened to him, and incidentally it's
the same Section 377, whatever version they had of it
in Britain, that he was punished under. So was Alan
Turing.
"I live in New
York, which is this
lovely little liberal
bubble in America,
where anything
goes. Because
people have far
more important
things to worry
about than who
you’re sleeping
with."
Donald Trump, POTUS
Oscar Wilde, Author

What are your hopes for India, in
terms of the LGBTQ movement?
No political party in India wants to
have anything to do with it. Shashi
Tharoor tried, but then they started
calling him gay. I mean first you call
him a womanizer, then you call him
gay, Make up your mind. It’s so
absurd.
Rahul and Sonia Gandhi said what
they did after the Supreme Court
verdict, but they were in power and
ultimately did nothing about it.
Possibly because it was an election
year. But even if they didn't have an
election to fight, do I honestly think
they would've done something?
Probably not. Parliamentarians have
no awareness about these things,
and it seems like they want to have
no awareness. Rajnath Singh’s views
were very well known at that time.
At least until there’s another breed of
politician, I don’t see anything
remarkable happening, and of course
society has a role to play. If there’s a
pressure from society to make things
happen, which there isn’t at all right
now, ‘miniscule’ is what the Supreme
Court verdict said were the numbers
who want some change; only then
will politics follow through.
That’s what’s sad about it, people just
don’t bother about other people’s
rights, they only bother about
themselves, in this country
especially.
Lack of empathy doesn’t extend just
to sexuality, it extends to various
other things - dalit issues, women’s
issues, minority rights - there’s just a
complete lack of empathy. That's
more here than the west, though
that's changing under this new
administration where people are
becoming more and more worried
about themselves and their rights
over the rights of others. But I don't
think it’ll last in the west for too long.
"That’s what’s sad about it, people just don’t
bother about other people’s rights, they only
bother about themselves, in this country
especially."
Love and companionship,
still illegal in India

AnjaliLama,Nepalese
transgendermodel
DefiningtheFuture
ofFashion

F I L M Y A D D A
T h i s m o n t h ' s b e s t o f I n d i a n Q u e e r C i n e m a
M E M O R I E S I N
M A R C H ( 2 0 1 0 )
Directed by Sanjoy Nag, the film
is the effective exploration of a
situation wherein a bereaved
mother comes to terms with her
late son’s sexual identity.
T H E P I N K
M I R R O R ( 2 0 0 3 )
Directed by Sridhar Rangayan,
the award winning film is said to
be the first Indian film to
comprehensively focus on
Indian transsexuals.
S A N C H A R R A M
( 2 0 0 4 )
A Malayalam film directed by
Ligy J. Pullappally, inspired both
by her short film 'Uli' and a true
story of two lesbian lovers in the
South Indian state of Kerala.
D A A R A V T H A ( 2 0 1 6 )
This Marathi short film directed by Nishant Roy Bombarde,
won two National awards in the non-feature category for the
year 2016. The film explores young Pankaj’s struggles to
express himself in a world with rigid notions of what it means
to be a boy. After winning the Best Indian Short Film prize at
the seventh edition of KASHISH MIQFF – South Asia’s biggest
LGBT film festival held in May 2016, Daaravtha was nominated
for The Iris Prize – Cardiff’s International gay and lesbian short
film prize.

WORD PLAY
DOWN
ACROSS
1 ________ Mausi; first transgender Indian to be elected to public office
6 Devdutt Pattanaik's book on queerness in Hindu mythology
7 Claims he can cure homosexuality through yoga
9 Belief in the gender binary
10 _________ Centenary College; Manabi Bandopadhyay
12 Mr. Gay India 2016
14 City to hold first Pride Parade in India
16 Legally recognized as a third gender in India
2 1990, First Gay Magazine in India
3 Sexually attracted to both men and women
4 Like Tinder (but men only)
5 Director of The Pink Mirror (Gulabi Aina)
8 Published the first Indian study on homosexuality
11 Section 377 of the ___
13 Film based on Shrinivas Ramchandra Siras
14 India's first transgender school opened in this state
15 Clothing brand; first lesbian ad

Biological sex is same as gender.
NO.
Being queer is against nature/natural
order of things.
It’s as natural as natural can get.
The LGBTQ community comprises only
of homosexual and transgender
people.
They only make up a small portion of
the community.
Queerness is a “western concept”.
Open Google. Type “LGBTQ themes in
Indian mythology”. You’re welcome.
We can assume pronouns for people
based on the way they look or dress.
NO. It’s always safe to ask them about
their preferred pronoun or they/them
is a good alternative.
Busting
Myths!
If a man looks “feminine” or a woman
looks “masculine” (whatever that means!)
they must be homosexual.
Sure. *rollseyes*
The person you are attracted to depends
on which gender you identify with.
The gender you identify with has nothing
to do with your sexuality.
Everyone identifies with a gender even
though they do not conform to their
biological sex.
Not everyone identifies with a gender. One
can be gender-fluid and not conform to
any gender identity.
Transgender people always look to have
gender corrective surgeries.
There are many transgender people who
do not feel the need to get corrective
surgeries.

People of the LGBTQ community do
not/cannot have a normal sex life.
Actually, that might be true. They do not
have a “normal” sex life because their sex
life maybe way better than yours!
In a same sex relationship, one always
“looks like” a man and the other “looks
like” a woman. / It is okay to ask who the
“man” or “woman” in the relationship is.
When you feel like asking this question,
zip your mouth up and throw away the
key. That way you’ll save humanity of
some embarrassment.
A bisexual person is desperate for sex all
the time.
Because the agenda behind everything
people do is sex. *slowclap*
Homosexuality exists only in the human
species.
No species has been found in which
homosexual behavior has not been shown
to exist, with the exception of species that
never have sex at all, such as sea urchins
and aphis.
Queerness can be cured.
Is there some way we can cure your
stupidity?
Being Queer is against Indian Culture.
Buy a ticket to Khajuraho.

Imagine two 20 year old students sitting in front of the television set
watching the talk show Satyameva Jayate. Aamir Khan introduces to the
audience a person who totally looks like a woman but as they start
speaking you realize they are not a woman and that they are called
Transgenders. Followed by this interview is a woman who speaks about her
being a lesbian and another man who identifies himself as gay. The two
friends watching this show could not make any sense of what was
happening on the screen. They look at each other's faces in delusion and
leave a deep sigh. The inquisitive of the two turned to Google for help just
like any other engineer and searched the meaning of the words
Transgender, Bisexual, Queer. For the first time through the words of the
doctor on the show, the two friends realize that alternate sexual
orientation may not be something that one chooses but is rather something
they are born with and that gender identity can be fluid. One of the two
friends is myself. I felt ashamed for being ignorant of such sensitive
issues and for being a part of all the sexist, homophobic banter at college.
But, why is this important now? I am sure that there are thousands of
educated and uneducated people out there who do not know the
terminology and the science behind it. These issues are a big taboo in the
family space and in the classroom space. A lot of violence had been
reported in the past on the LGBTQ+ community in India and across the
globe. The sense of rejection the LGBTQ+ community faces in India is
deeply distressing considering how sexually liberal we were in the
pre-colonial era as is evident from the sculptures and artwork from
ancient India. One of the major causes for this hatred is the lack of
awareness on these issues. How can one expect people to be sensitized
towards these
issues when they do not even know about it? Enough has already been
spoken about the usefulness of the education system when it comes to
andling personal issues and there is no point in wasting more time
discussing this. We have a barbaric law that calls every other form of
intercourse other than intended for procreation, ‘unnatural’ excluding the
interests of a wide number of people who are part of the system,
throwing their concerns into drifting dust.
Let's talk Sexuality! B y K o t h a p a l l i G o p i c h a n d
Reflections and stories from cisgender readers

There are hundreds of teenagers and
adults alike, struggling to find their
identities and interests. They have no
one to talk about it as the topic is not
welcoming in any of the social spaces
they are part of. While this argument
may not hold true for a certain elite,
privileged and progressive section of
the society, the issue remains a
serious concern for most of the
population in the country. Our
textbooks and curriculum have failed
miserably in dealing with such sensitive
issues. A large number of schools still
have teachers who hesitate to teach
topics related to human reproduction,
Sexually Transmitted Diseases and
sexuality only tabooing the issues
further. Same is the case with gender
issues. The notions of patriarchy have
been internalized in the system right
from the time we start making sense
of the world around us, so much so
that we don’t even think about
questioning it. We don’t even realize the
injustice that we have been doing to
the female members of the family
knowingly or unknowingly.It is because
of these ingrained thoughts coupled
with ignorance and a dose of
misogynist, masculine Indian cinema, the
environment in the college campuses
espouses sexism, masculinity and
homophobia making it a difficult space
for many.
I strongly believe that the solution to the
violence against women and the hatred
surrounding alternative sexuality lies in
sensitizing the people towards these issues.
Every school, college must include these
issues in their curriculum and discussions
on the same must be facilitated through
sensitization workshops. Only then can we
create a society that is inclusive of people
with different interests and accept them
for what they are. While this may or may
not be successful in bringing the kind of
change expected, this would do a great
deed in starting a dialogue and breaking
the silence surrounding these issues. In
this regard the recent move from the
Ministry of Health in destigmatizing the
same sex love and trying to break the
gender stereotypes in the society by
promoting awareness on these
issues to teenagers through the peer
educators called “Saathiya” is laudable.

I am from Madurai, a very
conservative town with
vestiges of Pandiyan
Dynasty. The community is
closely knit, highly prideful
of its culture, honor and
convention. Growing up in a
place like that, the idea of
holding hands with a male
and walking down a
boulevard is fear mongering.
The city is slowly waking up
through the modernistic
Kollywood movies, and
other Hollywood movies
that are either dubbed or
subtitled. In a place like
that, being a transgender is
imponderable.
A human, an innocent
boy then girl now, just
wanting to be real and
comfortable in her
own skin, has gone
through all the
unspeakable hassles.
There was a petite, wheatish,
shy boy –Praveen around 18
years, about my age, who
worked at a stationery store.
I was a regular customer, and
noticed he went missing for
almost a month. Being the
inquisitive soul that I am, I
enquired about him to the
Story of a dear
friend By Jaysri Thangam

I should mention his sense of
habiliments and picking
matching accessories was “A”
class. Everything was still fine.
But I knew how he missed home
and craved being around his
kith and kin. He had furtive
visits to his home to meet his
mom, who was a working nurse.
He would sometimes wear my
salwar before washing them
and revel in its memory.
He saved some money, got his
self confidence high up again.
That was when Praveen
decided to go under the needle
and steroids. He did not just
want to feel like a woman, but
also look, behave, treated and
accepted as woman. To
everyone’s dismay, even my
parents were against it. I was
shocked. Both of them are
double degree holders and well
read. But this idea irked them. I
couldn’t blame them because it
only make sense to be a Roman
while at Rome.
owner but to no avail. Two
months later, he was back
on the road begging
because he had been
ostracized by his family and
the store. (He clearly had
come out with the truth
about his sexual
orientation). He had no
food, shelter or money.
Oh, I should
mention his sense
of habiliments and
picking matching
accessories was
“A” class.
I could not believe my eyes
and took him home. Me
and my family heard his
story and gave him a place
to stay and a job. He was
working at my dads small
law firm, cleaning and
attending clients.
Everything was fine. Oh,

autocratic body with draconian
area heads who threaten any
recalcitrant member to be sent
out and that their hormone
supplements would be stopped.
Dia did not tell me more, but
there was more.
She now works again at my
house and stays with us helps
mom and dad. She uses my cycle
for commute. She looks
beautiful, but she knows the
support she once thought she
would get from the society is a
sham. A human, an innocent boy
then girl now, who just wanted
to be the way that pleased him
went through all the
unspeakable hassles. If all of us
are to be bashed up to feel
good in our skin, to look the part
we feel, Appolo and Fortis
would be global leaders. Just
saying.
Praveen did go ahead and
transformed himself and called
himself Dia. She went on to join
the transgender community in
Bangalore which was very
lucrative to him. We all bid him
a very heavy hearted fare well.
Reality and harsh lies hit Dia
soon after she went to
Bangalore. She was a part of a
big network of “transgender
traffic light beggers". Her main
job was to cover two signals at
kormanagala. So did everyone
else at different busy signals.
This was the main source of
revenue for this community. It
was diligently structured for an
activity that looks very
frivolous. No one ever questions
why these ladies do what they
do. The so called transgender
self-help community is an.
The so called Transgender self-help community is an
autocratic body with draconian area heads who threaten
any recalcitrant member to be sent out or that their
hormone supplements would be stopped

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