Writing in active voice

1. 1
COMA 360 - DMH
THE PARAMEDIC METHOD
Writing clear, concise sentences

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COMA 360 - DMH
HERE IS THE PROBLEM
How can two sentences that say virtually the same
thing communicate differently?
 An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground
granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties of
ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was
undertaken and is presented in this paper. (36 words! FAT!
The “Official Style”)
 This paper evaluates the effect of Class C fly ash and ground
granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties of
ternary mixtures in concrete pavements. (26 words! LEAN!
“Clear and Readable Style”)
Lard content of sentence 1: 10/36 = 28%

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COMA 360 - DMH
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE
 The “Official Style” (Sentence 1) uses . . .
• Lots of prepositions and prepositional phrases
• “To be” verbs
• Nominalizations
• The passive voice
• A long ‘wind-up’ or introductory phrase

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COMA 360 - DMH
WHAT IS THE PARAMEDIC METHOD?
Developed by Richard Lanham, the paramedic method
is a set of clear steps for analyzing and revising wordy
sentences. Writers use the paramedic method to
improve clarity and readability so that their meaning is
communicated concisely and effectively.

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COMA 360 - DMH
STEP 1
Underline the prepositional phrases* in the sentence.
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and
ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on
the properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete
pavements is presented in this paper.
* Prepositions are words that indicate relationships between
nouns and pronouns. Words like at, in, on, of, to, about, around,
below, above, from, into, near, since, through, against, after, and
outside are prepositions.

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COMA 360 - DMH
STEP 2
Circle the ‘to be’* verbs.
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and
ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on
the properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete
pavements was undertaken and is presented in this
paper.
* “To be” verbs are conjugations of “to be”: am, is

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COMA 360 - DMH
STEP 3
Put a box around nominalizations* and (thus) identify
the primary action.
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and
ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on
the properties of ternary mixtures for use in concrete
pavements was undertaken and is presented in this
paper.
* Nominalizations are nouns that used to be verbs or adjectives,
such as evaluation (n) for evaluated (v)

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COMA 360 - DMH
STEP 4
Write the nominalization/primary action as a simple
verb.
 An evaluation…
 becomes
 evaluate or evaluates

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COMA 360 - DMH
STEP 5
Ask, “Who or what performs the action?” Then write
the new base clause with the agent in the subject
position. Use the simple verb form from step 4.
…for use in concrete pavements is presented in
this paper.
This paper evaluates…
Action
Agent
Agent

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COMA 360 - DMH
STEP 6
 Keep the base clause near the beginning of the
sentence, if possible.
 Eliminate unnecessary words and phrases.

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COMA 360 - DMH
THE FINAL PRODUCT
Original
An evaluation of the effect of Class C fly ash and ground
granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the properties
of ternary mixtures for use in concrete pavements was
undertaken and is presented in this paper.
Revised
This paper evaluates the effect of Class C fly ash and
ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) on the
properties of ternary mixtures in concrete pavements.

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COMA 360 - DMH
SAMPLES
Original
From the beginning, the writing of this research article was marked by
reluctance.
Revised
I wrote the research article reluctantly
Original
It was decided that the committee for road improvement would cease their
activity for the term by the managers.
Revised
The managers decided that the committee for road improvement would cease
activity for the term.
Original
As a means of providing scientists with appropriate tertiary data, the
conference is intended to serve as a communication medium for everyone
involved.
Revised
The conference will provide scientists with appropriate tertiary data and a way
to share their research.

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COMA 360 - DMH
CREDITS
 Adapted by Joshua Prenosil and David Blakesley from The Thomson
Handbook by David Blakesley and Jeffrey L. Hoogeveen
 Modified by Diane M. Harney
 Brought to you in cooperation with the Purdue Online Writing Lab
(OWL)