"The reputation you have with yourself – your self-esteem – is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life." - Psychologist Nathaniel Branden. What is self-esteem and how can we encourage a healthy self-concept and positive self-regard?

1. by Douglas Eby

2. This is a widely used - and fun - image
for "self-esteem" programs. Wanting
to be a "better" version of who we are
can be inspiring - but is it helpful to
view ourselves unrealistically?
"The reputation you have with yourself – your self-esteem
– is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life."
Psychologist Nathaniel Branden

3. Comparing ourselves
to others may erode
how we appreciate
our own qualities.

4. Winning sports, art
or academic awards
can help boost our
self-esteem.

5. But saying "Everyone will win a
trophy just for entering” !
or !
“The valedictorian will be chosen
by lottery” !
!
and similar strategies to boost
self-esteem that discount real
merits and differences do not
enhance a healthy self concept.
A true Valedictorian:
Bianca Phillips

6. We all need a healthy self-concept,
but self-esteem may be challenging
for many creative people.

7. John Lennon once said:
"Part of me suspects
that I’m a loser, and the
other part of me thinks
I’m God Almighty."

8. “You think, ‘Why would anyone
want to see me again in a
movie? And I don’t know how to
act anyway...’”
Meryl Streep

9. Jonathan Safran Foer about his
novel "Everything Is Illuminated,"
which made The New York
Times best-seller list:
"I convince myself I’m fooling
people or they like the book for
the wrong reasons.”

10. Those fraud or impostor feelings are one form of
unhealthy self-esteem. Valerie Young, Ed.D. is an
expert on it and commented:
!
“Millions of people, from entrepreneurs to celebrities,
have a hard time internalizing their accomplishments.”

11. Valerie Young suggests steps for matching perceptions to reality, including:
!
"Enjoy your successes and acknowledge praise when it comes your way."
!
"Resist the impulse to deny and deflect compliments."
Learn more about her program:
Overcome the Impostor Syndrome

12. Kate Winslet has admitted that before
going off to a movie shoot, she
sometimes thinks “I’m a fraud, and they’re
going to fire me… I’m fat; I’m ugly.”

13. Highly creative and talented people are,
according to research on giftedness, often
susceptible to perfectionism and unreasonably
high standards and expectations that can lead to
exaggerated criticism, and unhealthy self-esteem.

14. Tama J. Kieves, an honors grad from Harvard Law
School, now author and coach, writes:
!
"When I was anorexic, I'd look in the mirror, and
while I was a tiny slip of a thing, I'd see a huge
woman, a woman who had blown up overnight
because she'd had five french fries.
"When it comes to success, I have reverse anorexia. I look at
substantial accomplishments and see thin, flimsy achievements, sure
to vanish if you blink."

15. For links and more material, see related article :
Nurturing Our Self-Esteem - Part 1

16. Publication by:
!
Douglas Eby, M.A./Psychology -
writer, researcher and online
publisher on creativity and
personal growth.
!
Talent Development Resources

17. My Talent Development Resources sites
& related Facebook pages - see links on main site:
talentdevelop.com