Multiple Selves?! Growing leaders applied. (OOP conference 2019, Munich)

OOP 2019, Munich 22nd January 2019
Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 1
Multiple Selves?!
Growing leaders applied.
Cosima Laube
OOP Munich, 2019
#OOPmuc
Why are YOU here?
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cosima@laube:~$ whoami
Why am I here?
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Computer Work it is!
Well, that escalated
happened quickly...
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„no people work“ ??
„the easier choice“ ??
Product Development
is People Work
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Fight
Flight
Feed
Freeze
Fear
… back to university!
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What colleagues thought I do...
Bridge Builder & Travel Guide
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Leadership starts with YOURSELF
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“[…] the first person
I need to lead is me.
The first person
that I should try to change
is me.”
[John C. Maxwell]
What is a
good
first step?
Leadership starts with YOURSELF
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Leader-ship
Leadership
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Leadership starts with YOUR SELF
Why are YOU here?
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Quick Outline
Some science…
„Multiple Selves“ Model
Even more science…
How does the model
work in detail?
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How to grow
(with) others?
Where to start
YOUR journey…
How to grow
yourself?
„Multiple Selves“
Model
[Atkins & Styles, 2015]
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process story
perspec
tive
1. Self as story
story
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Self as story
Pro:
• predictability
• coherence
Con:
- too past-oriented
- often too rigid
- limiting yourself
Self as story
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2. Self as process
process
Self as process
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Self as process
• socially useful ( predictability)
• basis of self-regulation
3. Self as perspective
perspec
tive
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Self as perspective
pro-
cess
story
pers
pecti
ve
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pro-
cess
story
pers
pecti
ve
process story
perspec
tive
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process story
perspec
tive
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Psychological Flexibility ++
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Seeing the „whole“ picture
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More options per situation
YOU being the driver
Psychological Flexibility
Flexible,
authentic,
responsive
Self
[Atkins & Parker, 2012]
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Psych. Flexibility
Leadership skills
increases
Leadership
Motivation
Self-Management
Self-Awareness
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How does it work ?
Multiple Selves Identity
= behaviour + mental relations
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Identity
= what we do + what we think about it
Identity
= {
3 senses of self,
social experiences,
human ability to refer to past / future
}
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Psych. Flexibility
Leadership skills
Identity
increases
„… [identity] is NOT a reflection of
some underlying true self.“
Identity
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„… [identity] is NOT a reflection of
some underlying true self.“
„[how] a person talks about [their]
self is the act of creating an identity“
Identity
Psych. Flexibility
Leadership skills
Identity
Language
creates
increases
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Main driver for Identity:
Language
[Relational Frame Theory: Hayes et al. (2001)]
Where to start ?
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1. Getting aware
2.
3.
Talking & learning
about the 3 Selves
is a (self-)coaching intervention
[Berger & Atkins, 2009]
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1. Getting aware
2. Self-Talk
3.
Psych. Flexibility
Leadership skills
Identity
Language
creates
increases
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proce
ss
story
pers
pecti
ve
Self-talk
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I‘m the most
important one
here….
„I am the king of
<FooBar42>…“ „I‘m a
hero!“
„I‘m a guru
in…“
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Which examples of self-talk
come to your mind?
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Where did it make a difference
how
you talked to yourself?
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Best possible Selves
(take-home exercise)
[King, 2001; Blickhan, 2015]
pro-
cess
story
pers
pecti
ve
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pro-
cess
pers
pecti
ve
story
1. Getting aware
2. Self-Talk
3. Mindfulness
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Mindfulness
Psych. Flexibility
Leadership skills
Identity
Language
creates
increases
facilitates
Leadership
Motivation
Self-Management
Self-Awareness
Mindfulness
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Mindfulness
Mindfulness =
focussed attention + witnessing awareness
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„A self-regulated attentional stance
oriented towards present-moment experience
that is characterized by
curiosity, openness, and acceptance.“
[Dahl, Lutz, Davidson (2015)]
pro-
cess
pers
pecti
ve
story
Mind-
ful-
ness
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What kind of practise
is that ‚mindful practise‘?
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Three breaths
pro-
cess
pers
pecti
ve
story
Mind-
ful-
ness
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pro-
cess
pers
pecti
ve
story
Mind-
ful-
ness
pro-
cess
pers
pecti
ve
story
Mind-
ful-
ness
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process
pers
pecti
ve
Mind-
ful-
ness
story
process
pers-
pective
Mind-
ful-
ness
story
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process
story
pers-
pective
process
story
pers-
pective
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Day Parenting
(take-home)
[Bonifer & Shternshus, 2015]
[Cosima Laube L.I.S.T.E.N. Blog]
How to grow
with others?
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One minute to arrive
(individually
or as group check-in)
Noticing
(a.k.a. „Name it to tame it.“)
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Leadership
Empathy
Motivation
Self-Management
Self-Awareness
Mindfulness
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Shift to connection
(variation of 3 breaths)
Three breaths
Shift to
connection
Noticing /
„Name it to tame it“
a minute to arrive
/ Check-in
Best possible
selves
Day Parenting
game
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Leadership starts with your SELF
That‘s it for today…
https://cosima-laube.de
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Sources
on the „Multiple Selves“ model
Atkins, P. W. B., & Styles, R. (2015). Mindfulness, identity and work: mindfulness training
creates a more flexible sense of self. In J. Reb & P. W. B. Atkins (Eds.), Mindfulness in
Organizations: Foundations, research, and applications (pp. 133–162).
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/290490487_Mindfulness_identity_and_work_Mi
ndfulness_training_creates_a_more_flexible_sense_of_self
Atkins, P. W. B., & Parker, S. K. (2012). Understanding Individual Compassion in
Organizations: The Role of Appraisals and Psychological Flexibility. Academy of
Management Review, 37(4), 524–546. https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.2010.0490
Hayes, S. C., Barnes-Holmes, D., & Roche, B. (2001). Relational Frame Theory: A Post-
Skinnerian Account of Human Language and Cognition. New York: Plenum Press.
https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2407(02)80063-5
Berger, J. G. and Atkins, P. W. B. (2009). Mapping complexity of mind: using the subject-
object interview in coaching. Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and
Practice, 2 (1), 23-36.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233282213_Mapping_complexity_of_mind_Usin
g_the_subject-object_interview_in_coaching
Sources
on Mindfulness, Work and Leadership
Good, D. J., Lyddy, C. J., Glomb, T. M., Bono, J. E., Brown, K. W., Duffy, M. K., Lazar, S.
W. (2016). Contemplating Mindfulness at Work: An Integrative Review. Journal of
Management, 42(1), 114–142. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206315617003
Shapiro, S. L., Carlson, L. E., Astin, J. A., & Freedman, B. (2006). Mechanisms of
mindfulness. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 62(3), 373–386.
https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.20237
Dahl, C. J., Lutz, A., & Davidson, R. J. (2015). Reconstructing and deconstructing the
self: cognitive mechanisms in meditation practice. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 19(9),
515–523. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2015.07.001
van Dierendonck, D. (2011). Servant Leadership: A Review and Synthesis. Journal of
Management, 37(4), 1228–1261. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206310380462
Systematic iterature review on Mindfulness and Leadership (Bachelor thesis, Cosima
Laube 2017) – available on demand
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Sources
Books, exercises & more (1)
Listening and Clean Language
• Hartley, Tamsin (2017): The Listening Space – A New Path to Personal Discovery
Positive Psychology
• Blickhan, D. (2015). Positive Psychologie: ein Handbuch für die Praxis. Paderborn:
Junfermann Verlag.
Best Possible Selves Exercise
• King, L. A. (2001). The health benefits of writing about life goals. Personality and
Social Psychology Bulletin, 27(7), 798–807. doi: 10.1177/0146167201 277003,
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247895325_The_Health_Benefits_of_Writing
_about_Life_Goals
• See pages 152/153 in Blickhan (2015) for a short description in German
Karate Kid: Wax on, Wax off
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ynryUjGFt8
FITNESS TRAINING.
Sources
Books, exercises & more (2)
Improvisation / gamification of mindfulness for business organisations:
• Bonifer, Mike & Shternshus, Jessie (2015): CTRL-Shift
Day Parenting Exercise:
• Cosima Laube L.I.S.T.E.N. Blog: http://blog.cosima-laube.de/blog/20180419_ctrl-
shift_dayParenting
The Hanselminutes Tech Podcast with April Wensel on Compassionate Coding
• https://hanselminutes.com/641/compassionate-coding-with-april-wensel
Listening, MIndfulness & Leading:
• Bungay Stanier, Michael (2016): The Coaching Habit – Say less, Ask more & Change
the way you lead forever
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• 4 days (best) in a row
• 20 minutes per day
• 1 life domain per day
(health, work, partner/family, friends,
treating yourself, …)
Best Possible Self – in a nutshell 1
• first minutes: step mentally into your
future best possible self in that life
domain
• ~15 minutes: be your best possible self
• Write continuously
• How are you?
• What do you do?
• What is important to you?
• Don‘t stop writing!
• Don‘t judge.
• Be surprised!
Best Possible Self – in a nutshell 2
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Picture sources & credits
slide 13, 24, 40-44: Cosima Laube
slide 63/67 photos from illustrations taken from the German version of the book „Quiet the
self“ by Matthew Johnstone (therefore not included in public versions of these slides!)
all others: http://unsplash.com
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Multiple Selves?! Growing leaders applied. (OOP conference 2019, Munich)

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