Do you know the rulings behind the mahr? What about knowing who can and can’t be your mahrams? What about walis – do you know their rights over you in relation to marriage? If you think you know everything there is to know about mahr, mahrams and walis, then prepare to be shocked and amazed as we delve deep into a this highly misunderstood and often mis-represented topic that can easily confuse the best of us! Sheikh Musleh Khan will help you discover: • What makes a mahr and the conditions attached to it • Whether or not your marriage is valid without a mahr • The fundamental rulings of mahrams in relation to marriage • Why a wali is needed for marriage • Conditions which nullify your wali for representing you (yes this happens a LOT and you probably don’t even know this!) • What you can do if you don’t have a wali It doesn’t matter whether you’re about to get married or your children are, this is an incredibly important topic which MUST be understood so you fulfil the rights Allah SWT has give you.

2. Allah SWT in all his wisdom has placed
extra protection for women in Islam by
giving the men in her life special duties
and roles to fulfil:
 The Mahr – which needs to be paid by her
husband to her
 The Mahram – who cannot marry her and
therefore acts as her protector during travel
and in life
 The Wali – her guardian who is charged with
ensuring her marriage to the most suitable
spouse

3. What is the mahr?
 The dowry given to the wife by her husband
 It is her right ordained by Allah:
And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal]
gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you
anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and
ease.” [Quran 4: 4]
 It is a token of honour and respect for the wife
and demonstrates the seriousness and
importance of the marriage contract
 It is given in exchange for the right to enjoy
marital relations

4. Is giving the mahr obligatory?
 Husband must give mahr, especially if stipulated in
marriage contract:
“You shall give the women their due dowries, equitably”
(4:4)
 However if the wife withholds his rights to intimacy –
she will lose the right of the mahr
 Also, if the wife chooses to forgo any part of the
mahr, the husband is permitted to take it, as Allah
SWT says:
“… but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any
part of it, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm
(as Allaah has made it lawful).” (al-Nisaa’ 4:4)

5. Is the mahr a part of the marriage contract?
 Although the mahr is obligatory on the husband
and is a right of the wife, it does not actually form
part of the marriage contract unless stated
otherwise.
 This is based on the following:
"There is no sin upon you if you divorce women
before touching them or assigning for them a
dowry…”(Quran 2:236)
 This means the marriage contract will still be
valid without a mahr being mentioned – however
it is preferred to mention and agree upon the
mahr at the time of the nikah to avoid dispute

6. Can the mahr be taken back?
 The husband cannot take back the mahr he gave to
his wife, even if he wishes to divorce her:
And how could you take it (back) when you have gone
in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm
and strong covenant?” (al-Nisaa’ 4:21)
 The mahr is the right of the wife alone, and it is not
permitted for her father or anyone else to take it
except with her approval.
 Abu Saalih said:
“When a man married off his daughter, he would take
her mahr away from her, but Allah forbade them to do
that, and gave women the right to the mahr they
received.” (Tafseer Ibn Katheer).

7. What counts as mahr? What can be given?
 There is no minimum/maximum amount of mahr that
is specifically mentioned in Qur’an/Sunnah
 It does not have to be limited to money - according
to Ibn Al-Qayyim, the strongest opinion is that
anything which has value (regardless of whether it
be something material or something non-material)
can be accepted as mahr
 The Prophet SAW accepted a man teaching his wife
the Qur’an as mahr:
"Go, for I have put her under your charge with what you
have of the Qur'an. " [Bukhari & Muslim]
 Look at what is given to other women at the time
(what is culturally acceptable or befitting of what the
family can give)

8. What is a mahram?
 A person who is forbidden to you for marriage
and therefore acts as a guardian and protector
 The person can be a mahram due to:
 Blood relations
 In-law relations
 Suckling relations
 Step - relations
Who are your mahrams?
 Allah says in the Qur’an:

9. “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your
mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your
father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your
brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters, your
foster mother who gave you suck, your foster
sisters, your wives’ mothers, your step-daughters
under your guardianship, born of your wives into
whom you have gone – but there is no sin on you
if you have not gone into them (to marry their
daughters) - the wives of your sons (who spring)
from your own loins, and two sisters in wedlock at
the same time, except for what has already
passed. Verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most
Merciful.” (An-Nisa 4:23)

10. Temporary and permanent mahrams
 A mahram can either be temporary or
permanent.
 All types of mahrams are permanent with the
exception of your spouse.
 When a woman becomes divorced her ex-
husband becomes her non-mahram (ghayr) and
therefore must be treated like all her non-
mahram relations.
 However her father-in-law will always be her
mahram even though she is divorced from his
son

11. Non-biological mahrams
 Refers to step father, step daughter, adopted
children, adoptive parents etc.
 Step mother – once she is married to your father
your step mother becomes permanently
forbidden to you for marriage and you become
her mahram.
 Step daughter – You become a mahram for your
step daughter after the marriage contract and
consummation of the marriage to your wife has
taken place.

12. Adoption and Mahrams
 A complicated matter – child needs to be breastfed by the
adoptive mother for relationship to become lawful.
 If child hasn’t been suckled – as if they were non-mahrams
to you/you are non-mahram to them.
 Adoptive mother needs to suckle the child at least 5 times.
They should be suckled in their first 2 years.
 The Prophet said:
Suckling forbids (from marriage) that which is forbidden due to
birth.” [Al Bukhari 9/140]
 Once this has been established the adopted son becomes
the mahram for any other relation that a biological son
would have:
 The same rules apply if you adopt a girl.

13. What age does one become a mahram?
 Although many people think the mahram needs
to be an adult, the majority of scholars are of the
view that if the mahram is a boy who has
reached the age of discernment and is close to
puberty, and the woman feels safe when he is
with her, then that is sufficient – the boy who is
close to the age of puberty comes under the
same ruling as an adult.
 However the best mahram for a woman when
travelling is her husband or father as they will be
able to protect her properly.

14. What is a wali?
 Wali means guardian, protector and custodian
 A Wali of a woman is a male guardian who is
responsible for assessing the marriage proposal
and decides in the best interest of the woman.
 Wali’s are firstly blood mahrams. A woman’s
main wali is usually her father first.
 A marriage without the consent of a wali is not
valid – this is for the protection of the woman
There is no marriage without a walī. (Al-Tirmidhī,
4/226)

15. Who needs a wali?
 Women who have never been married and are
virgin need their wali’s permission to get
married
 Divorced women who had previous marital
relations do not need the permission of their
wali, however the wali still needs to be part of
the marriage contract
 Men do not need a wali, but they need to ask
the wali of a woman they are interested in
marrying for their permission

16. Who can be a wali?
 For a man to count as a wali he needs to have
the following:
 Religion (and be practising)
 Fairness and Maturity
 Puberty
 Faculty of sense
 He also needs to fulfill his duties of a wali by:
 Finding the best and most righteous spouse for her
 Accepting the proposal of someone that has good
religion and manners
 Not refuse her wish to get married if the person is
suitable

17. What about revert sisters or those who do not have a
wali?
 A wali MUST be a Muslim, therefore sisters who are
reverts cannot use their fathers as their wali unless they
are a Muslim
 Instead, sisters should appoint the local Imam/Sheikh to
be their Wali
 Sisters who do not have a wali (e.g. orphans or no male
family) will also need to appoint the local Imam or
Sheikh to become their Wali
 The same rules apply – your marriage is invalid without
a wali, and not having a wali is not an excuse to be
married without one!
 Again the only concession is that of divorced women but
remember the wali must be present at the time of nikkah

18. What if a wali does not fulfil his duties as a wali?
 Sheikh Muhammad b.`Uthaymîn said the following:
“If a woman's guardian prevents her from marrying a
suitable partner of good religion and character, then her
guardianship is transferred to the next in line for
guardianship among her relatives. If all of her guardians –
in succession – refuse, as is usually the case in these
matters, then guardianship transfers to the Islamic judge
who will facilitate the woman's marriage. It is the duty of
the judge to get the woman married once the matter
comes before him and he knows of her guardians' refusal.
This is because the judge has general jurisdiction over the
matter once the specific jurisdiction of her blood relatives
is annulled.”

19. What if a wali does not fulfil his duties as a wali?
 The jurists mention that if the wali repeatedly
refuses a woman's qualified suitors, his character
is deemed sinful and this disqualifies his
guardianship. In fact, many scholars are of the
opinion that the right of such a man to lead others
in prayer is nullified!
 Some people whom Allah has entrusted with
guardianship refuse to allow the women under
their care to marry qualified suitors. The problem is
compounded by the fact that many young women
are too shy or scared to say anything or to
approach the Shariah courts.

20.  Allah has placed multiple forms of protection for
the women in Islam
 The mahr is a very important part of the marriage
contract and cannot be disregarded as it is the
woman’s right
 Her protectors and guardians have a very
serious responsibility to uphold and should not
take this lightly
 Mahrams and Walis should not abuse their rights
over the women under their care as there are
severe consequences to this.

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