NIKAH FINAL.ppt

MUSLIM
STUDENTS’
ASSOCIATION OF THE
UNIVERSITY OF
NAIROBI
MOMBASA
CHAPTER
WELCOME
ALL

In the name of Allah ‫ﻭﺗﻌﺎﻟﻰ‬ ‫ﺳﺒﺤﺎﻧﻪ‬ , We praise
Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness.
Whoever Allah ‫ﻭﺗﻌﺎﻟﻰ‬ ‫ﺳﺒﺤﺎﻧﻪ‬ guides none can
misguide, and whoever He allows to fall
astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship
but Allah ‫ﻭﺗﻌﺎﻟﻰ‬ ‫ﺳﺒﺤﺎﻧﻪ‬ alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad ‫ﷺ‬ is His slave-
servant and the seal of His Messengers.
2

MARRIAGE PREPARATION
PART 1 – BY CHAIRMAN 2015/2016

6
1) Definition
2) Purpose and Importance
3) Conditions of Nikah
4)Whom to marry & Forbidden to marry
-------------------------- END OF PART 1 --------------------
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5) Choosing the right Partner
6) Proposing
------------------------- END OF PART 2 ---------------------
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7) “Engagement” and Nikah
8) The Wedding Night
9) Happily Ever After

OR IS IT
EXPENSES
RESPONSIBILITIES
LACK OF FREEDOM
DISTANCE FROM PARENTS

WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
Marriage is a contract between a man and a women, which allows
both to enjoy the each other, their cooperation and decides the
rights of each and their obligations. Arabic word for marriage is –
Zawaj. In Quran – Nikkah – meaning physical relationship between
man and women (intercourse). Also, it means a contract of
marriage which makes the relationship lawful.
The Quran specifically refers to marriage as “Mithaqun ghalidhun”
which means “a strong agreement”. (Quran 4:21)
Therefore it is a contract which entails rights, duties and
obligations, between a man and a woman to come together in a
halaal way for the purpose of meeting certain benefits.
The Quran also uses the Arabic word “Hisn”, suggesting “fortress”
for marriage. Marriage is considered the fortress of chastity.

a) Fulfilling natural needs of Human Beings.
• Allah has distinguished the Human Beings over the rest of
His creation by assigning to him a suitable system whereby
man's dignity and honour may be maintained.
• Such a procedure secures a relationship between man and
woman that is based on mutual respect and consent. Thus
man's natural needs are fulfilled in a sound manner to
preserve posterity, chastity and protect woman from being
a common object.
O young peoplel Whoever of you can afford marriage, let
him get married, for marriage helps restrain the looks,
and preserve the chastity. He who cannot afford it, let him
observe fasting, for fasting is a deterrent.

b) To get a Life Partner/Companion for each other
SURATU- AR- ROOM; V 21
ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ِ‫س‬ُ‫ف‬‫ن‬َ‫أ‬ ْ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬َ‫ل‬ َ‫ق‬َ‫ل‬َ‫خ‬ ْ‫ن‬َ‫أ‬ ِ‫ه‬ِ‫ت‬‫ا‬َ‫ي‬‫آ‬ ْ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ َ‫و‬‫ا‬َ‫ه‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ل‬ِ‫إ‬ ‫وا‬ُ‫ن‬ُ‫ك‬ْ‫س‬َ‫ت‬ِ‫ل‬ ‫ا‬ً‫ج‬‫ا‬ َ‫و‬ ْ‫ز‬َ‫أ‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬َ‫ج‬ َ‫و‬
َ‫ك‬ِ‫ل‬َ‫ذ‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫ف‬ َّ‫ن‬ِ‫إ‬ ً‫ة‬َ‫م‬ْ‫ح‬َ‫ر‬ َ‫و‬ ً‫ة‬َّ‫د‬ َ‫و‬َّ‫م‬ ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬َ‫ن‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ب‬َ‫ون‬ُ‫ر‬َّ‫ك‬َ‫ف‬َ‫ت‬َ‫ي‬ ٍ‫م‬ ْ‫و‬َ‫ق‬ِ‫ل‬ ٍ‫ت‬‫ا‬َ‫ي‬َ‫آل‬
“One of His signs is that He created for you spouses of your
own species, so that you might find comfort with them.
And He put mutual love and affection in your hearts. Surely
in this there are lessons for the thinking people” (Q 30:21)
SURATU- ALE- IMRAAN; V 14
ِ‫ت‬‫ا‬ َ‫و‬َ‫ه‬َّ‫ش‬‫ال‬ ُّ‫ب‬ُ‫ح‬ ِ‫اس‬َّ‫ن‬‫ل‬ِ‫ل‬ َ‫ن‬ِ‫ي‬ُ‫ز‬َ‫س‬ِ‫الن‬ َ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬‫اء‬ْ‫ال‬ ِ‫ير‬ِ‫َاط‬‫ن‬َ‫ق‬ْ‫ال‬ َ‫و‬ َ‫ين‬ِ‫ن‬َ‫ب‬ْ‫ال‬ َ‫و‬ِ‫ة‬َ‫ر‬َ‫ط‬‫ن‬َ‫ق‬ُ‫م‬
َّ‫و‬َ‫س‬ُ‫م‬ْ‫ال‬ ِ‫ل‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫خ‬ْ‫ال‬ َ‫و‬ ِ‫ة‬َّ‫ض‬ِ‫ف‬ْ‫ال‬ َ‫و‬ ِ‫ب‬َ‫ه‬َّ‫ذ‬‫ال‬ َ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬َ‫ذ‬ ِ‫ث‬ ْ‫ر‬َ‫ح‬ْ‫ال‬ َ‫و‬ ِ‫ام‬َ‫ع‬ْ‫ن‬َ‫أل‬‫ا‬ َ‫و‬ ِ‫ة‬َ‫م‬َ‫ك‬ِ‫ل‬
ْ‫س‬ُ‫ح‬ ُ‫ه‬َ‫د‬‫ن‬ِ‫ع‬ ُ‫اّلل‬ َ‫و‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ي‬ْ‫ن‬ُّ‫د‬‫ال‬ ِ‫ة‬‫ا‬َ‫ي‬َ‫ح‬ْ‫ال‬ ُ‫ع‬‫ا‬َ‫ت‬َ‫م‬ِ‫ب‬‫آ‬َ‫م‬ْ‫ال‬ ُ‫ن‬

َ‫ز‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ه‬ْ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ َ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬َ‫ج‬ َ‫و‬ ٍ‫ة‬َ‫د‬ ِ‫اح‬ َ‫و‬ ٍ‫س‬ْ‫ف‬َّ‫ن‬ ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬َ‫ق‬َ‫ل‬َ‫خ‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫ذ‬َّ‫ال‬ َ‫و‬ُ‫ه‬َّ‫ش‬َ‫غ‬َ‫ت‬ ‫ا‬َّ‫م‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ف‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ه‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ل‬ِ‫إ‬ َ‫ن‬ُ‫ك‬ْ‫س‬َ‫ي‬ِ‫ل‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ه‬َ‫ج‬ ْ‫و‬‫ا‬َ‫ه‬‫ا‬
َّ‫د‬ ‫ت‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ق‬ْ‫ث‬َ‫أ‬ ‫ا‬َّ‫م‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ف‬ ِ‫ه‬ِ‫ب‬ ْ‫ت‬َّ‫ر‬َ‫م‬َ‫ف‬ ‫ا‬ً‫ف‬‫ي‬ِ‫ف‬َ‫خ‬ ً‫ال‬ْ‫م‬َ‫ح‬ ْ‫ت‬َ‫ل‬َ‫م‬َ‫ح‬‫ال‬ََ ‫َا‬‫ن‬َ‫ت‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ت‬‫آ‬ ْ‫ن‬َِِ‫ل‬ ‫ا‬َ‫م‬ُ‫ه‬َّ‫ب‬ َ‫ر‬ َّ‫هلل‬ ‫ا‬ َ‫و‬َ‫ع‬َّ‫َن‬‫ن‬‫و‬ُ‫ك‬َ‫ن‬َّ‫ل‬ ً‫ا‬ ِ‫ح‬
َ‫ين‬ ِ‫ر‬ِ‫ك‬‫ا‬َّ‫ش‬‫ال‬ َ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬
"It is He Who created you from a single person, and made
his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with
her (in love). When they are united, she bears a light
burden and carries it about (unnoticed). When she grows
heavy, they both pray to Allah their Lord, (saying):
"If You give us a good child, we promise we shall be grateful
(Qur’an 7:189)

c) System for continuity of Human Beings
َ‫خ‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫ذ‬َّ‫ال‬ ُ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬َّ‫ب‬َ‫ر‬ ْ‫ا‬‫و‬ُ‫ق‬َّ‫ت‬‫ا‬ ُ‫اس‬َّ‫ن‬‫ال‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ه‬ُّ‫ي‬َ‫أ‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ي‬َ‫خ‬ َ‫و‬ ٍ‫ة‬َ‫د‬ ِ‫اح‬ َ‫و‬ ٍ‫س‬ْ‫ف‬َّ‫ن‬ ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬َ‫ق‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ق‬َ‫ل‬
‫ا‬َ‫ه‬ْ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ ً‫ا‬‫ير‬ِ‫ث‬َ‫ك‬ ً‫ال‬‫ا‬َ‫ج‬ ِ‫ر‬ ‫ا‬َ‫م‬ُ‫ه‬ْ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ َّ‫ث‬َ‫ب‬ َ‫و‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ه‬َ‫ج‬ ْ‫و‬َ‫ز‬‫اء‬َ‫س‬ِ‫ن‬ َ‫و‬
ْ‫ر‬َ‫أل‬‫ا‬ َ‫و‬ ِ‫ه‬ِ‫ب‬ َ‫ون‬ُ‫ل‬‫اء‬َ‫س‬َ‫ت‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫ذ‬َّ‫ال‬ َّ‫هلل‬ ْ‫ا‬‫و‬ُ‫ق‬َّ‫ت‬‫ا‬ َ‫و‬َ‫ر‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬ َ‫ان‬َ‫ك‬ َّ‫هلل‬ َّ‫ن‬ِ‫إ‬ َ‫ام‬َ‫ح‬‫ا‬ً‫ب‬‫ي‬ِ‫ِق‬
SURATU- AN- NISAA; VERSE 1
• O Mankind! Fear your Rubb who has created you from
one man and from him He created his mate, and
multiplied from the two of them many men and women.
And fear Allah, by Whom you demand (one of another)
your rights, and do not sever your ties of relation (by
unkind behavior), for Allah is watching over you.

THE IMPORTANCE OF NIKAH
1) Earn the pleasure of Allah
2) Complete half of your religion
3) It is a great Sunnah*
4) Increase the Muslim Ummah
5) Protection from sin
6) Tranquillity and peace of mind
7) Concentration & Increase in Ibaadah
8) Strengthen bonds in the Society
May Allah [swt] grant us all the tawfiq and means to marry!

The ruling of Marriage
• Waajib (obligatory): If a man is financially stable
and can treat wife properly But, will commit Zinna
if he doesn’t marry
• Mustahab (recommended) Similar to waajib; If he
has the means and can treat wife properly. But no
fear of committing Zinaa
• Makrooh: A person has the financial capability,
But knows they will not be good as
father/husband. Eg will be away from home for
long periods of time
• Haraam: A person does not have financial
capability, Knows that they cannot treat wife
properly and will commit Zinaa (not fulfilling the
rights)

Conditions for nikah
THE CONDITIONS OF NIKAH
1) A BELIEVER
2) CONSENT OF BOTH
PARTIES
3) CONSENT OF WALII
4) MAHR (DOWRY)
5) TWO MALE WITNESSES
ONLY !!! ONLY !!!

WHO CAN I MARRY?
And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous
among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should
be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah
is all-Encompassing and Knowing.

WHOM CAN I NOT MARRY?
َ‫ب‬ َ‫و‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ُ‫ت‬‫ا‬َ‫ه‬َّ‫م‬ُ‫أ‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬ ْ‫ت‬َ‫م‬ ِ‫ر‬ُ‫ح‬َ‫ع‬ َ‫و‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ُ‫ت‬‫ا‬ َ‫َو‬‫خ‬َ‫أ‬ َ‫و‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ُ‫ت‬‫َا‬‫ن‬ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ُ‫ت‬‫ا‬َّ‫م‬
ُ‫َات‬‫ن‬َ‫ب‬ َ‫و‬ ِ‫خ‬َ‫أل‬‫ا‬ ُ‫َات‬‫ن‬َ‫ب‬ َ‫و‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ُ‫ت‬َ‫ال‬‫َا‬‫خ‬ َ‫و‬ُ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ُ‫ت‬‫ا‬َ‫ه‬َّ‫م‬ُ‫أ‬ َ‫و‬ ِ‫ت‬ْ‫خ‬ُ‫األ‬
ُ‫ك‬ُ‫ت‬‫ا‬ َ‫َو‬‫خ‬َ‫أ‬ َ‫و‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬َ‫ن‬ْ‫ع‬َ‫ض‬ ْ‫ر‬َ‫أ‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫ت‬َّ‫ال‬‫ال‬َ‫ه‬َّ‫م‬ُ‫أ‬ َ‫و‬ ِ‫ة‬َ‫ع‬‫ا‬َ‫ض‬َّ‫الر‬ َ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ ‫م‬ُ‫ات‬
ِ‫ف‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫ت‬َّ‫ال‬‫ال‬ ُ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ُ‫ب‬ِِ‫ا‬َ‫ب‬َ‫ر‬ َ‫و‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ِِ‫آ‬َ‫س‬ِ‫ن‬ِِ‫آ‬َ‫س‬ِ‫ن‬ ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ ِ‫ور‬ُ‫ج‬ُ‫ح‬ ‫ي‬ُ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬
ْ‫م‬َّ‫ل‬ ‫ن‬ِ‫إ‬َ‫ف‬ َّ‫ن‬ِ‫ه‬ِ‫ب‬ ‫م‬ُ‫ت‬ْ‫َل‬‫خ‬َ‫د‬ ‫ي‬ِ‫ت‬َّ‫ال‬‫ال‬َّ‫ن‬ِ‫ه‬ِ‫ب‬ ‫م‬ُ‫ت‬ْ‫َل‬‫خ‬َ‫د‬ ْ‫ا‬‫و‬ُ‫ن‬‫و‬ُ‫ك‬َ‫ت‬َ‫ال‬َ‫ف‬
ِِ‫َا‬‫ن‬ْ‫ب‬َ‫أ‬ ُ‫ل‬َِِ‫ال‬َ‫ح‬ َ‫و‬ ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬ َ‫ح‬‫َا‬‫ن‬ُ‫ج‬َ‫ال‬ََْ‫أ‬ ْ‫ن‬ِ‫م‬ َ‫ين‬ِ‫ذ‬َّ‫ال‬ ُ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ْ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬ِ‫ب‬
َ‫إ‬ ِ‫ْن‬‫ي‬َ‫ت‬ْ‫خ‬ُ‫األ‬ َ‫ْن‬‫ي‬َ‫ب‬ ْ‫ا‬‫و‬ُ‫ع‬َ‫م‬ْ‫ج‬َ‫ت‬ ‫ن‬َ‫أ‬ َ‫و‬َ‫اّلل‬ َّ‫ن‬ِ‫إ‬ َ‫ف‬َ‫ل‬َ‫س‬ ْ‫د‬َ‫ِق‬ ‫ا‬َ‫م‬ َّ‫ال‬
‫ا‬ً‫م‬‫ي‬ ِ‫ح‬َّ‫ر‬ ‫ا‬ً‫ور‬ُ‫ف‬َ‫غ‬ َ‫ان‬َ‫ك‬

Forbidden to you are your mothers and your
daughters and your sisters and your paternal aunts
and your maternal aunts and brothers' daughters
and sisters' daughters and your mothers that have
suckled you and your foster-sisters and mothers of
your wives and your step-daughters who are in your
guardianship, (born) of your wives to whom you
have gone in, but if you have not gone in to them,
there is no blame on you (in marrying them), and
the wives of your sons who are of your own loins
and that you should have two sisters together,
except what has already passed; surely Allah is
Forgiving, Merciful.

TEMPORARY PROHIBITIONS
• A man must not have two sisters as wives at the
same time nor can he marry a girl and her aunt at
the same time.
• A man must not marry a woman who is already
married. However this impediment is removed
immediately if the marriage is dissolved either by
the death of her former husband, or by divorce
followed by completion of the period of 'iddah
(retreat).
• A man must not have more than four wives at one
time. This impediment is, of course, removed as
soon as one of the wives dies or is divorced.
• A man must not marry a woman during her 'iddah.

TWO SUITORS SEEKING TO MARRY THE SAME GIRL
• The Prophet (peace be upon him) disapproved of
two persons competing with one another to secure
marriage with the same girl. This is because such a
situation is likely to develop bitter enmity between
two Muslim brothers. The Prophet said,
• “A believer is a brother of a believer. Hence it is not
lawful for him to bargain upon the bargain of a
brother, nor propose for (the hand of a girl) after
the marriage proposal of his brother, until the latter
(voluntarily) withdraws the proposal.

PART 2 – BY CHAIRMAN
2015/2016
6) Proposing

34
1) Definition
-------------------------- END OF PART 1 --------------------
-----
6) Proposing
------------------------- END OF PART 2 ---------------------
----

Who should be the
apple of my eyes?
CHOOSING THE RIGHT SPOUSE

A HUSBAND OR WIFE
IS A PARTNER, A FRIEND, A
COMPANION, A SOUL MATE,
A LOVE MATE, AN
ASSOCIATE, AN ADVISOR, A
HELPER, A COMFORT, A
PROTECTOR …ETC

General Characteristics of the right Prospective Spouse
• The Prophet ‫ﷺ‬ said: “A person is on the religion of his
companions. Therefore let every one of you carefully
consider the company he keeps.” [Tirmidhi]
• “One whose appearance reminds you of Allah, and whose
speech increases you in knowledge (of Allah), and whose
actions remind you of the hereafter.”
NB
• "Bad women are for bad men and bad men are for bad
women. And good women are for good men and good men
are for good women." [Holy Quran 24:26]

Desirable Characteristics in a Groom
‫وسلم‬ ‫عليه‬ ‫هلل‬ ‫َلى‬ ‫يقول‬" :‫إال‬ ‫فزوجوه‬ ‫وخلقه‬ ‫دينه‬ ‫ترضون‬ ‫من‬ ‫إليكم‬ ‫خطب‬ ‫إذا‬
‫عريض‬ ‫وفساد‬ ‫األرض‬ ‫في‬ ‫فتنة‬ ‫تكن‬ ‫تفعلوا‬( .‫ماجه‬ ‫ابن‬)
“If somebody comes to you and you are pleased with his
character and religion then marry him. If you do not, there
will be discord on earth and widespread corruption.”
(Ibn Majah)
HOW CAN I EVALUATE HIS CHARACTER
AND RELIGION ??

SWALAH
“The first thing the people will be accountable for on the Day
of Judgment is prayer…” (Ahmad)
CHARACTER
• LOOK AT FAMILY BACKGROUND
• HIS FRIENDSHIP AND COMPANY
• HIS MUAMALAT

RELIABLE REFERNCES
• A man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab and spoke in praise of
another. Umar asked him: “Are you his nearest neighbor such that
you know his goings and his comings?” “No.”
• “Have you been his companion on a journey so that you could see
evidence of his good character?” “No.”
• “Have you had dealings with him involving dinars and dirhams
[money] which would indicate the piety of the man?” “No.”
• “I think you saw him standing in the mosque muttering the Quran
and moving his head up and down?” “Yes.”
• “Go, for you do not know him...”
• And to the man in question, Umar said, “Go and bring me
someone who knows you.”
• (quoted from Islam The Natural Way by Abdul Wahid Hamid, p. 66)
• This gives you three types of people you can ask about a
prospective mate's character: a neighbor, business colleague or
someone who has traveled with them.

NB; THE FAMILY OF THE WOMAN CAN
INTIATE THE PROPOSAL
Umar ibn al-Khattab said, “I went to Uthman ibn Affan (RA) and
offered Hafsa to him [for marriage].” He said, “I will think about
it.” He met me after a few days and said, “It seems to me that I
should not marry at this time.” Umar said, “Then I met Abu Bakr
al-Siddiq (RA) and said, “If you wish, I can marry you to Hafsa
bint Umar.” Abu Bakr remained silent and did not give me any
reply at all. That was more painful for me than [what I felt with
the reply of] Uthman. Some days later, Rasulullah (‫ﷺ‬) proposed
for her and I married her off to him. Abu Bakr met me and said,
“Perhaps you were upset with me when you offered Hafsa to
me and I did not reply to you at all?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “I was
only prevented from replying to you [in the positive] in regards
to what you offered me due to the fact that I knew Rasulullah
(‫ﷺ‬) had considered her and I am not the one who would reveal
the secret of Rasulullah (‫ﷺ‬). Had Rasulullah (‫ﷺ‬) left her, I would
have accepted her.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, no: 4830)

Desirable Characteristics in a Bride
‫ِقال‬ ‫وسلم‬ ‫عليه‬ ‫هلل‬ ‫َلى‬ ‫النبي‬ ‫عن‬ ‫عنه‬ ‫هلل‬ ‫رضي‬ ‫هريرة‬ ‫أبي‬ ‫عن‬:
‫يداك‬ ‫تربت‬ ‫الدين‬ ‫بذات‬ ‫فاظفر‬ ‫ولدينها‬ ‫ولحسبهاوجمالها‬ ‫لمالها‬ ‫ألربع‬ ‫المرأة‬ ‫تنكح‬
"A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property,
her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one
who is religious, may you be blessed.” Bukhary
ُ َّ‫اّلل‬ ‫ى‬َّ‫ل‬ََ ِ َّ‫اّلل‬ َ‫ل‬‫و‬ُ‫س‬ َ‫ر‬ َّ‫ن‬َ‫أ‬ ‫و‬ ٍ‫ر‬ْ‫م‬َ‫ع‬ ِ‫ْن‬‫ب‬ ِ َّ‫اّلل‬ ِ‫د‬ْ‫ب‬َ‫ع‬ ْ‫ن‬‫ا‬َ‫ت‬َ‫م‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ي‬ْ‫ن‬ُّ‫د‬‫ال‬ َ‫ل‬‫ا‬َ‫ِق‬ َ‫م‬َّ‫ل‬َ‫س‬ َ‫و‬ ِ‫ه‬ْ‫ي‬َ‫ل‬َ‫ع‬ُ‫ْر‬‫ي‬َ‫خ‬ َ‫و‬ ٌ‫ع‬
ُ‫ة‬َ‫ح‬ِ‫ل‬‫ا‬ََّ‫ال‬ ُ‫ة‬َ‫أ‬ ْ‫ر‬َ‫م‬ْ‫ال‬ ‫ا‬َ‫ي‬ْ‫ن‬ُّ‫د‬‫ال‬ ِ‫اع‬َ‫ت‬َ‫م‬
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace
and blessings be upon him, said, “The world is provision
and the best provision in the world is a righteous
woman.” Sahih Muslim
HOW CAN I KNOW THAT SHE IS RIGHTEOUS ??

SWALAH
HIJAAB & CHASTITY
“… Wed them with the permission of their own folk
and give them their mahr (dowry) according to
what is reasonable; they should be chaste, not
adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [Nisaa’ 4:25]

BEAUTY AND LOVING
• One of the important issues of character in the
spouses is the quality of “wudd”; meaning kindness
and lovingness and compassion. Nabii ‫ﷺ‬ said:
• "Marry the loving/friendly, the child-bearing for I
shall outstrip the other nations with your numbers
on Qiyamah." (Ahmad)
• Once, when Jabir married an older and previously
married woman, the Prophet (‫)ﷺ‬ said to him: "Why
not a virgin? You could have played with her and
she with you."

HAVE A LOOK AT YOUR SUITOR
• Once a companion told him (‫)ﷺ‬ that he was going
to get married. The Prophet (‫)ﷺ‬ asked if he had
seen her. When the man said no, he (‫)ﷺ‬ said: "Go
and look at her for it is more likely to prompt love
between the two of you." [Ahmad]
• Extent of exposure; face and hands
• Dont be alone; presence of mahram
• Dont give a false impression e.g dressing, make up
• Do not be very shy i.e be confident

no hanky panky
NO DATING; BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND
RELATIONSHIPS
• HARAAM; disobedience of Allah leads to destruction in
this world and the Hereafter
• It leads to being in privacy with a non-mahram
• Forms of Zinaa. It can lead to unlawful acts – touching ,
kissing, coming close to each other
• It is illusive; still a new adventure
• Exhausting their emotions before getting married
• Damages reputation of family and culture
• For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering
where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on
her finger is a violation of the Qurãnic law of Hijaab.

DO NOT FORGET ALLAH
"O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your
Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great
Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the
power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have
knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this
action --------- (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and
faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the
hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me
and then add blessings [baraka'] in it, for me. O Allah! In Your
Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and
faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the
hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it
and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and
then make me satisfied with it."

SUMMARY
1. Ask yourself: Why am I getting married?
2. Ask yourself: What am I looking for in a spouse?
3. If you're looking for a spouse lower your gaze.
4. Get someone to help (consultation)
5. Always ask for reliable references about the person
6. When you meet, don't be alone
7. When you speak, be businesslike and to the point.
8. Make Istikahrah
9. Do not be very shy i.e be confident in accepting or
rejecting the proposal
10. Accept rejection and do not loose hope in Allah

PART 3 – BY CHAIRMAN 2015/2016
(Rights of the spouses)

53
1) Definition
-------------------------- END OF PART 1 --------------------
-----
6) Proposing
------------------------- END OF PART 2 ---------------------
----

IS IT
ACCEPTANCE OF PROPOSAL
OR
“ENGAGEMENT”

EXAMPLE OF FAATIMAH (RA)
• Fatimah (RA) was the youngest daughter of our
beloved Prophet (SAWS). Out of all the children, he
was the most beloved to him. He said, 'The Queen
of the ladies in Jannat is Faatimah.' He also said,
'Faatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her,
grieves me.‘
• When Faatimah (RA) reached the age of fifteen,
proposals for her marriage began to come from
high and responsible families. But the Prophet
(SAWS) remained irresponsive.

• Ali (RA), who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to
me that I should go and make a formal proposal,
but then I thought, 'How could this be
accomplished, for I possess nothing.' At last,
encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to
him and expressed my intention to marry Faatima
(Radhiyallaahu Anha). The Prophet (SAWS) was
extremely pleased and asked, 'Ali! Do you possess
anything to give her in Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from
a horse and an armour I possess nothing.'

• The Prophet (SAWS) said, 'A soldier must, of course,
have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.'
• So, Ali (RA) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan
(RA) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah
(SAWS). Bilaal (RA) was ordered by the Prophet
(SAWS) to bring some perfume and a few other
things and Anas (RA) was sent to call Abu Bakr,
Uthmaan, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions
from the Ansaar (Radhiallaahu Anhum).

• When these men arrived and had taken their seats,
the Prophet (SAWS) recited the Khutbah (sermon)
of Nikaah and gave Faatimah (RA) in marriage to Ali
(RA). He announced, 'Bear you all witness that I
have given my daughter Faatimah in marriage to Ali
for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Ali has accepted.' He
then raised his head and made Dua saying, 'O Allah,
create love and harmony between these two. Bless
them and bestow upon them good children.' after
the Nikaah, dates were distributed.

• When the time came for Faatimah (RA) to go to Ali's
(RA) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue
and cry accompanied Umm Ayman (RA). After the
Ishaa Salaat, the Prophet (SAWS) went to their
house, took permission and entered. He asked for a
basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and
sprinkled it on both Ali (RA) and Faatimah (RA) and
made Dua for them.

• The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved
daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four
mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one
hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin
and a leather pitcher.
• In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter
of the leader of the worlds was solemnised. In
following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes
very simple and easy to fulfill.

GENERAL LESSONS DERIVED
• "Engagements" are NOT the Sunnah of our Nabii
SAW. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.
• To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and
the girl after having reached the age of marriage is
disliked (incorrect).
• If the father of the girl is an Aalim or pious and
capable of performing Nikah, then he should
himself solemnise the marriage.
• Al-Tirmidhi (1089) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (RA) that
she said: Rasulullah (SAW) said: “Announce this
marriage.”

LESSONS DERIVED; Dowry
• It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should
endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the
means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.
(Note: The dowry is an obligation upon the groom's
family, not the bride's family!
• Ahmad (23957) and Ibn Maajah (4095) narrated
from ‘Aa’ishah (RA) that Rasulullah (SAW) said:
“One of the signs of a woman being blessed is that
the process of proposing to her is made easy and
the dowry is made affordable and she bears
children easily.” Saheeh al-Jaami’ (2235).

LESSONS DERIVED; Dowry
• Al-Tirmidhi (1114) narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-
Khattaab (RA) said: Do not go to extremes with
regard to women's dowries. If that were something
honourable in this world or a sign of piety before
Allaah, then the Rasulullah (SAW) would have been
the most entitled to it, but I never heard that
Rasulullah (SAW) offered as a dowry for any of his
wives or accepted as a dowry for any of his
daughters anything more than twelve uqiyah.
Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
• An uqiyah is 40 dirhams; the weight of a dirham in
grams is 2.975g .Therefore 12*40*3= 1440g of Silver

LESSONS DERIVED; Waleemah
• This is a confirmed Sunnah at weddings and it is
part of announcing the marriage and of expressing
joy and happiness on this occasion.
• Narrated from Anas (RA) that Rasulullah (SAW) said
to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf when he got married:
“Give a feast even if it is with just 1 sheep.”
• Ahmad (22526) from Ibn Buraydah from his father,
who said: When ‘Ali proposed to Faatimah (RA),
Rasulullah (SAW) said: “There has to be a feast for
the wedding.”
NB The Walimah if upon the groom and NOT upon
the bride

LESSONS DERIVED; Waleemah
• It is waajib (obligatory) to attend/respond to the
(personal) invitation of the Waleemah on condition
that there be no evils involved in the wedding feast. If
there is any evil involved, then it depends: if when
attending he/she is able to prevent the evil, then
he/she must attend; if he/she is not able to do that,
then it is not permissible for him to attend.
• It is permissible to offer a wedding feast without meat.
Al-Bukhaari (4213); Rasulullah (SAW) marrying Safwiya
RA where dates, ghee and dried yoghurt were served.
• Abu Hurayrah said: “The worst of food is the food of a
waleemah to which the rich are invited and the poor
are ignored. BUKHARI

LESSONS DERIVED; Expenses
• It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess
the means, to incur debts in order to have grand
weddings (israaf/one may not have done Hajj)
NB : It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost
if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and
invite many people. What is our respect compared
to that of Rasulullah (SAWS)?
THE MOST BLESSED NIKKAH IS THE ONE WITH THE
LEAST EXPENSES
(BAYHAQI)

LESSONS DERIVED; Abstain from Sin
• Missing Swalat
• Music, Dancing parties
• Intermingling of non mahrams
• Israaf, hiring halls, expensive suits etc
• Neglecting Hijaab; clothing, sight etc
• Unislamic Photography and Video recording
Displaying Bride on stage in presence of non mahram

THE WEDDING NIGHT
• Putting his hand on his wife's head and praying for her
Because of the reports narrated by Abu Dawood (2160)
from ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb, from his father, from his
grandfather, from the Prophet (blessings and peace of
Allaah be upon him) who said: “ When one of you
marries a woman, let him take hold of her forelock and
say: O Allaah, I ask You for the goodness within her and
the goodness that You have made her inclined towards,
and I take refuge with You from the evil within her and
the evil that You have made her inclined towards.”

THE WEDDING NIGHT
• Praying two rak’ahs together:
Ibn Abi Shaybah (17156) narrated that Shaqeeq
said: A man came to ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood and
said: ‘I have married a young virgin girl, but I am
afraid that she may hate me.’ ‘Abdullaah said: ‘Love
comes from Allaah and hatred comes from
Shaytaan, who wants to make you hate what Allaah
has made permissible. When she comes to you, tell
her to pray two rak’ahs behind you.’”.

THE WEDDING NIGHT
• Being kind and gentle to his wife when consummating
the marriage with her
It was narrated by Ahmad (26925) that Asma’ bint
‘Umays (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: I was the
one who took care of ‘Aa’ishah and prepared her for
her marriage to the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and
peace of Allaah be upon him), and I had some women
with me. She said: By Allaah, we did not find any food
with him except a vessel of milk. He drank from it then
he passed it to ‘Aa’ishah, but the young girl felt too shy.
We said: Do not turn away the hand of the Messenger
of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him);
take it from him. She took it shyly and drank from it…

THE WEDDING NIGHT
• Reciting Duaa before intercourse
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3271) from Ibn ‘Abbaas
(may Allaah be pleased with him) from the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said:
“When one of you wants to approach (have
intercourse with) his wife, if he says: ‘Bismillahi
Allaahumma jannibna al-Shaytaan wa jannib al-
Shaytaan ma razaqtana (In the name of Allaah, O
Allaah, protect us from Shaytaan and protect
whatever You give to us from Shaytaan)’ – then if
they are given a child, Shaytaan will not harm it.”

HAPPILY EVER AFTER
• Fullfilling the rights and duties towards each other.
WHAT ARE THESE??
CLASS
ACTIVITYHEHE

HAPPILY EVER AFTER
• Importance of kind treatment of the wife and
fearing Allaah with regard to her, and that she
should fear Allaah with regard to him (the
husband). Allaah says (interpretation of meaning):
“and live with them honourably. If you dislike them,
it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings
through it a great deal of good” (al-Nisa’ 4:19)
• “ If a woman offers her five daily prayers, fasts her
month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys
her husband, it will be said to her: Enter Paradise
from whichever of the Gates of Paradise you wish.”
MISHKAAT

May Allah ‫ﺳﺒﺤﺎﻧﻪ‬‫ﻭﺗﻌﺎﻟﻰ‬ bless us
all with righteous spouses
who will lead us to
happiness both in this Life
and the Hereafter !
THE END!!!

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Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah ‫ﻭﺗﻌﺎﻟﻰ‬ ‫ﺳﺒﺤﺎﻧﻪ‬ ’s Assistance and
Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones.
Allah ‫ﻭﺗﻌﺎﻟﻰ‬ ‫ﺳﺒﺤﺎﻧﻪ‬ Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
80

"Whoever marries a woman solely for her
power and position, Allah will only increase
him in humiliation. Whoever marries a
woman solely for her wealth, Allah will only
increase him in poverty. Whoever marries a
woman because of her beauty, Allah will only
increase him in ugliness. But whoever marries
a woman in order that he may restrain his
eyes, observe cautiousness, and treat his
relations kindly, Allah puts a blessing in her for
him and in him for her."
82

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