Counseling

1. Lesson 2b – Character Traits of Effective
Counselors
Dr. Danny B. Medina

3. The Counselor’s
Characteristics

4. Four Questions for Counseling Sessions:
(1) What is the real problem? (This may
be different from the problem that
the counselee presents.)
(2) Should I try to help?
(3) What could I do to help?
(4) Would someone else be better
qualified to help?

5. Characteristics of effective counselors:
1. Psychological health and
stability.
2. A genuine interest in people.
3. Empathy, which is the ability
to “feel with” counselees.
4. Personal warmth.

6. Characteristics of effective counselors:
5.Self-awareness.
6.Tolerance for ambiguity, which means the
ability to live with uncertainty.
7.Awareness of one’s values.
8.Integrity, courage, and the genuine ability
to care.

7. Characteristics of Effective
Christian Counselors:
1. All the previously mentioned character
traits.
2. Spiritual Health.
3. Fruit of the Spirit.
4. Spiritual Maturity

8. The Christian Counselor’s
Uniqueness

9. 1.Unique assumptions
We believe that God has spoken to the
human race and still communicates
(through the Bible), created the universe
through his Son, provided for the
forgiveness of sins, and now holds together
and sustains the universe by the mighty
power of his command.

10. 2. Unique Goals
The Christian goes further than secular
counselors. Without ignoring the
counselee’s concerns and problems and
without manipulating in any way, the
Christian care-giver hopes to stimulate
spiritual growth in those who come for
help.

11. 3. Unique Methods
Christian counselors avoids any method that
would be inconsistent with biblical teaching.
Techniques are distinctively Christian and are:
prayer in the counseling session;
reading from the Bible;
gentle confrontation with Christian truths;
encouraging counselees to become involved in a
local church;
with other groups of believers.

12. 4. Unique Giftedness
The Holy Spirit sovereignly gifted
some members of Christ’s body to be
counselors.

14. The Counselor’s
Motivation

16. These counselor needs include:
 The need to control.
 The need to rescue.
 The need for information,
built mostly on curiosity.

17. These counselor needs include:
The need for affirmation, acceptance
or approval.
 The need for help with one’s own
problems (Personal Healing).

18. The Counselor’s
Mistakes

20. 1. The counselor visits instead of
counseling.
Visiting is a
friendly activity
that involves
mutual sharing.
Counseling is a
problem-centered,
goal-directed
conversation that
focuses primarily on
the needs of one
person—the
counselee.

21. 2. The counselor starts problem-
solving too early.
People can be impatient.
Counselees want immediate
answers and quick relief from their
symptoms.
Counselors may be eager to help,
so they start giving advice and
answers too quickly.

22. 2. The counselor starts problem-
solving too early.
In most cases it takes time for
counselees to give up their old
ways of thinking or behaving and
to replace them with something
new and better.

23. 3. The counselor becomes an
interrogator.
When they are asked too many
questions too quickly, counselees
often feel misunderstood.
It is more helpful to ask fewer
questions, using questions that will
encourage the counselee to talk.

24. 4. The counselor is disrespectful or
judgmental.
Some counselors (not the better
ones) quickly categorize people..
Some counselors pigeon-holed
people into categories.
Jesus understood people
perfectly.

25. 5. The counselor becomes overly
involved emotionally.
There is a fine line between caring and
becoming too involved to be helpful.
Emotional over involvement can cause the
counselor to lose objectivity, and this in turn
reduces counseling effectiveness.
Christian counselor can resist this tendency by
viewing the counseling as a professional helping
relationship that clearly must be limited in
terms of length or number of appointments.

26. 6. The counselor appears distant
and artificial.
They are so anxious to be
professional and successful that
they appear artificial and aloof.
In the history of this world, only
one counselor ever reached
perfection, never made mistakes,
and always said the right things.

27. 7. The counselor is defensive.
The ability to listen
empathetically is hindered when
we are being criticized unfairly,
aware that we aren’t helping,
bothered by guilt, or afraid of
being harmed by a counselee.

28. 7. The counselor is defensive.
When threats like these arise, it is
helpful to ask yourself why. If you don’t
know the answer, consider discussing
the situation with a friend or fellow
counselor. The more we know and
accept about ourselves, the less likely
we are to be threatened by counselees.

29. The Counselor’s
Vulnerability

31. 1. Manipulation
Some people are masters at getting what
they want by controlling others.
Manipulated counselors are rarely helpful
counselors.
Manipulation can be smooth and subtle.
Have professional partners or friends who
can help them see what they don’t see in
themselves.

32. 2. Emotional Entanglements
Countertransference occurs when a
counselee reminds you of a person who
has had an influence in your life.
Emotional entanglements come when
the counselor’s own needs or
perceptions interfere with the
therapeutic relationship.

33. 2. Emotional Entanglements
 A first step toward avoiding
entanglement and vulnerability is
to recognize the dangers and
possibility of unhealthy
emotional involvement with
some counselees.

34. 3. Resistance.
 When counselees discover that
lasting change and relief might require
time, effort, and greater pain, they
resist counseling.
Counseling is likely to be disruptive to
a person’s life, so when the process
begins, the counselee’s psychological
defenses may be threatened.

35. 3. Resistance.

36. 4. Sexuality.
 Whenever two people work closely together
on a common goal, feelings of camaraderie and
warmth often arise between them.
This inappropriate sexuality also can appear in
the form of sexual harassment and abuse
arising from the counselor’s power in the
counseling relationship and influence over more
vulnerable counselees.

37. The Counselor’s
Burnout

39. Characteristics of Burn-out
1. Emotional exhaustion, with its feelings of being
overwhelmed by the work load;
2. Depersonalization, which is a big psychological
word meaning that the burned-out people
withdraw emotionally from their work and the
people who want to be served;
3. Reduced feelings of accomplishment, which
causes individuals or teams to feel they no
longer are making a positive contribution to
others.

40. Prevention of Burn-out
Spiritual strength.
Support from others.
Freedom from the drive to
achieve.
A realization that no one person
can do everything.

41. Prevention of Burn-out
Regular times away from other
people.
Constant growth in our helping
skills.
Other people with whom we can
share the load.

42. Helpers for Counselors
Every counselor should have counselor
friends who can give perspective and
remind us of the perfect counselor—
Jesus Christ.
He gives hope, strength, and guidance
through his Holy Spirit.
He is the ultimate counselor, often
working through us.