Interpersonal Dynamics at work

Inter-Personal Dynamics
Prof. VijayLakshmi Singh

Interpersonal Dynamics
 Managers spend much of their time in
relationships
 Three recurrent questions regularly haunt
managers:
 What is really happening in this relationship?
 Why do other people behave as they do?
 What can I do about it?

7 - 3
Interpersonal Dynamics
Interpersonal dynamics – are the give and
take behavior between people during human
relations
Interpersonal dynamics grow increasingly
complex as more people interact

Forms of IPR
 Friendship
 Family and kinship
 Professional relationship
 Love
 Marriage
 Platonic relationship
 Casual relationship
 Brotherhood and sisterhood
 Acquaintances Know more about HackerEarth’s talent
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IPR for an individual
 Personal growth and development
 Growth and enjoyment
 Sense of security
 Context of understanding
 Interpersonal needs
 Establishing personal identity
Know more about HackerEarth’s talent
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IPR for a manager/leader
 Understanding self
 Building a positive functional
multidisciplinary team
 Improving intra and/or inter team
communication, coordination and
cooperation
 Improved decision making and problem
solving
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Interpersonal Skills/
Facilitation Skills
listening
questioning
language &
communication
using
feedback
conflict handling
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ESSENTIAL IP COMPETENCIES
 Self awareness
 Control
 Motivation
 Acknowledging the interests of
subordinates
 Communication skills
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Factors Hampering Interpersonal
Interactions
 Poor Listening
 Emotional Arousal
 Lack of Time
 Differences in objective
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DEVELOPING IP Skills
 Developing Assertiveness
 Accepting Responsibility
 Managing Conflicts
Avoiding
Accommodating
Competing/Forcing
Collaborating
Compromising
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Communication is the KEY
Communication is the lifeline of any relationship.
Without it, the relationship will starve to its death.
- Elizabeth Bourgeret
You can change your world by changing your
words... Remember, death and life are in the
power of the tongue.
- Joel Osteen
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Communication is the KEY
Half the world is composed of people who have
something to say and can't, and the other half
who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
- Robert Frost
To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the
art of diplomacy.
- Will Durant
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The single biggest problem in communication is the
illusion that it has taken place.
- George Bernard Shaw
How does communication fail?
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Mode of
communication
Formal years
of training
Percentage of
time used
Writing 12 years 9%
Reading 6-8 years 16 %
Speaking 1-2 years 30%
Listening 0-few
hours
45%
% time in communication
modes
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Key Topics of Interpersonal
Dynamics
Transactional Analysis
Assertiveness
Conflict Management
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Eric Berne and Transactional Analysis
A unified system of individual and
social psychiatry
Focuses on the individual but also
one’s relationship to others
A model for explaining why and how:
People think like they do
People act like they do
People interact/communicate with others
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 People have three ego states: parent, adult, child
 Parent: when a person thinks, feels & behaves
in ways copied from his/her parents
 Child: thinking, feeling, behaving as one did
as a child
 Adult: thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that are
a direct result of current happenings
Key point: people shift in & out of these states
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The Three Ego States
Parent- “Do as I do”
Child- “What shall I do?”
Adult- “I will be frank with you”
 Biological conditions are irrelevant to these ego
states.
• We shift from one ego state to another in
transactions.
Parent- “Why don’t you prepare a time-table?”
Child- “What is the point when one cannot
follow it?” – Becomes an Adult.
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Ego Portraits
People have favorite, preferred ego state, depicted by
larger circle in a diagram
Parent Adult Child
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
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Transactional Analysis – further development
 Parent & child ego states subdivided
 Parent state: controlling or nurturing
 Child state: free child (FC) or adapted child
(AC)
• AC – a person conforms & adapts to
demands of others
 FC – a person acts & feels like an
uninhibited & unsocialized child
 Adult state: current self
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Transactional analysis (TA): a method of understanding behavior
in interpersonal dynamics.
The three ego states
 Parent
Critical parent
Sympathetic/nurturing parent
 Child
Natural child (affectionate playful)
Adapted child
 Adult
The three types of transactions
 Complementary
 Crossed
 Ulterior
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Types of Transactions
Complementary Transactions: Appropriate and
Expected Transactions indicating healthy human
relationships.
Communication takes place when transactions are
complementary. A stimulus invites a response; this
response becomes a stimulus inviting further
response and so on.
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Transactional Analysis Types (I)
Complementary transaction
Supervisor Employee
P
C
A
P
C
A
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Transactional Analysis occurs when the ego states
of 2 people interacting is assessed
 Complimentary interaction:
 one person in a nurturing parent ego state
 other person in their adaptive child ego
state
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For a leader-follower, the following complementary
transactions could occur:
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Transactional Analysis Types (II)
Crossed transaction
Supervisor Employee
P
C
A
P
C
A
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Types of Transactions
Crossed Transaction: This causes most difficulties in
social situations.
“May be, you should improve your study habits”.
“You always find fault with me whatever I do” Parent-
Child interaction.
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Transactional Analysis occurs when the ego states of 2
people interacting is assessed, cont’d.
 Crossed transaction:
 A leader in the adult ego state deals with
 A subordinate who responds from their free child
ego state with somewhat negative, rejecting input
from the leader
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For a leader-follower, there are a number of possible
crossed transactions:
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Transactional Analysis Types (III)
Ulterior transaction
Supervisor Employee
Supervisor Employee
P
C
A
P
C
A
P
C
A
P
C
A
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7 - 31
TA: Life Positions
I’m OK –
You’re not OK
I’m OK –
You’re OK
I’m not OK –
You’re not OK
I’m not OK –
You’re OK
Negative Positive
Attitude toward Others
AttitudetowardOneself
Negative
Positive
Exhibit 7.1
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TA: Stroking
Stroking – any behavior that implies
recognition of another’s presence
 Positive – make people feel good about
themselves
 Negative – can hurt people in some way
Giving praise (positive stroking) is a powerful
motivation technique
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Building Positive Relationship
 Use of ‘I’
 Focus on problem solving
 Don’t Deceive
 Empathy
 Listen
Use of Praise
 Be specific
 Praise progress
 Sincere
 Don’t overdo
 Timing
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Dealing with Criticism
 Understand the Reason behind
 Empathy
 Don’t personalize criticism
 Do not be Judgmental
 Do not overload
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UTILITY
 Communication
 Motivation
 Leadership
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Assertiveness
The process of expressing thoughts and
feelings while asking for what one wants in
an appropriate way
Present your message without falling into the
traps of being:
 “too pushy” (aggressive)
 “not tough enough” (nonassertive-passive)
Is becoming more global
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Behaviors when dealing with a
diversity of people:
Passive
Behavior
Aggressive
Behavior
Passive-Aggressive
Behavior
Assertive
Behavior
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Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive
Speakers:
Passive speakers: Use self-limiting qualifying expressions
without stating their position / needs
Assertive speakers: State their position / needs without violating
the rights of others
Aggressive speakers: State their position / needs while violating the
rights of others using “you-messages” and
absolutes
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Assertive Behavior
Generally the most productive behavior
Usually the most effective method of getting
what you want while not taking advantage of
others
Being assertive can create a win-win
situation
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Assertiveness Steps
Step 1. Set an Objective:
 Specify what you want to accomplish
Step 2. Determine how to create a win-win
situation:
 Assess the situation in terms of meeting your
needs and the other person’s needs
Step 3. Develop an assertive phrase(s)
Step 4. Implement your plan persistently
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Conflict
Exists whenever two or more parties are in
disagreement
Is inherent in an organizational system
Can increase as the workforce becomes
more diverse
Dealing with it is part of emotional
intelligence
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Reasons for Conflict
Communications problems or conflicts arise
for three primary reasons:
1. We fail to make our expectations known to
other parties
2. We fail to find out the expectations of other
parties
3. We assume that the other parties have the
same expectations that we have
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Conflict Has Benefits
 Conflict can be beneficial
 A balance of conflict is essential to all organizations
 Too little or too much conflict is usually considered
a sign of management’s unwillingness or inability to
adapt to a diversified environment
 Conflict can lead to improved performance, for
example:
 Challenging present methods
 Presenting innovative change
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Conflict Management Styles
Exhibit 7.4

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Summary of Conflict Management
Styles
Forcing Conflict Style: User attempts to resolve conflict by using aggressive
behavior
Avoiding Conflict Style: User attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather
than resolve it
Accommodating Conflict
Style:
User attempts to resolve conflict by passively giving
in to the other party
Compromising Conflict
Style:
User attempts to resolve the conflict through
assertive give-and-take concessions
Collaborating Conflict
Style:
User assertively attempts to jointly resolve the
conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties.
The problem-solving style
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Roles in Conflict Resolution
Initiator
Responder
Mediator
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Initiating Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the
problem using the XYZ model
Step 2. Implement your plan persistently
Step 3. Make an agreement for change
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The XYZ Model
The XYZ model describes a problem in
terms of behavior, consequences, and
feelings:
“When you do X (behavior),
Y (consequences) happens,
and I have Z (feelings).”
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Responding to Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Listen to and paraphrase the problem
using the XYZ model
Step 2. Agree with some aspect of the
complaint
Step 3. Ask for, and / or give, alternative
solutions
Step 4. Make an agreement for change
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NEGOTIATIONS
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Steps Involved
 Planning
 Impersonal Relationship Building
 Exchanging T ask-Related
Information
 Persuasion
 Agreement Know more about HackerEarth’s talent
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Negotiation Tactics & Behavior
 Location
 Time
 Buyer-Seller Relation
 Extreme Behavior
 Promises/Threats
 Using Silence
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Interpersonal Dynamics Styles
Exhibit 7.6Know more about HackerEarth’s talent
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THE JOHARI WINDOW MODEL
Known to All Known to
Self Only
Known to
Others
only
Hidden
Joseph Luft, Harry
Ingham(1955), A
graphic model for
Interpersonal
Relationship-
University of
California, Western
Lab.
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Your Personality and Interpersonal
Dynamics (1 of 3)
 People with the same personality type tend to get along
better and have less conflict than those with different
personality types
 If you have a high surgency personality –
 watch your use of the critical parent ego state
 be sure to give lots of positive strokes to help human
relations
 be careful not to use aggressive behavior to get what
you want
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Dynamics (2 of 3)
If you have a high agreeableness personality,
 you tend to get along well with others
 be careful not to use the sympathetic parent ego
state
 watch the appropriate use of the child ego state
Adjustment – is about how well you deal
with your emotions
 especially anger
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Dynamics (3 of 3)
There is a relationship between adjustment
and openness to experience
 If you are not well adjusted, you are probably not
open to experience
If you are a high conscientious personality,
you can still transact from the parent or child
ego state
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Sustainable Relationship
Compatibility
Caring
Commitment
Compromise
Constructive disagreement
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Interpersonal Dynamics at work

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