The first interlude of The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy

1. Hello, welcome to the first Absolutely Crazy Interruption! This is a small chapter-lette that features not our heir Bella Chandler, but her Uncle Daniel's family. You may remember that Daniel inherited the evil genius gene, but managed to repress it after an attempt on his sister's life. He has since married his sweeheart Shenene, been abducted by aliens, and had this adorable alien baby girl, Stella. "You could have thought up a better name for me, mortal." Uh oh. Evil genius gene + alien DNA = trouble.

2. "Up you go, Stell-agh!" "Unhand me, vile mortal! You are not my parental unit!" Poor Shenene. "Poor nothing! She is not my parent!" By the way, only Sims directly involved in the Matriarchy can hear me. Shenene and Daniel can't any more.... but Stella can. Eeep.

3. Oh, Shenene and Daniel had a natural son, by the way. He looks mostly like Shenene. Has Daniel's skintone though. He's not that important. Moving on. If I seem like I'm rushing this, I am. The important bit of this chapter-lette comes later.

4. There he is. He's cute. Probably won't do much with him though. His personality is 7/9/9/5/9, by the way. A bit on the boring side.

5. Here's one of my trademark bad aging shots. Stella appears to be lunging for Shenene's throat. "I am! She is the first on my hit list!" Lovely. "You're next." Personality: 10/5/9/2/0. NO NICE POINTS. I'm not surprised.

6. "Say "mummy", Stella!" "This is demeaning and ridiculous. I refuse to refer to you as 'mother' or any such diminuitives. I have no mother, I have my father and my pollination technition." Teaching her to speak IS a bit redundant, Shenene.

7. Blah blah. Speeding through. Sean is a child. "Hands! I has hands!" And grammar worthy of a Lolcat.

8. "Die, Bella, die!" Um. What? "I'm practising for taking over the Matriarchy." Like father, like daughter. "Hey, I'm eligible. My father was not married to my pseudo-mother. I'm female, and I'm directly descended from Holly Chandler. So if I kill Bella, I become heir." Not quite. If Bella dies without producing a female heir, heirship passes onto her closest female relative - her twin sister. You're third in line. "So I have to take Zoey out of the game too." You'll be doing no such thing. "That's what YOU think."

9. Here's Sean again. He grew up cute. Except he's inherited his dad's high mouth, and his mother's huge portruding forehead. He might come in handy one day.

10. Ugh, here's Stella as a kid. She seems to have the same idea that Susan did all those years ago - acting cutesy will alleviate suspicion. "What, pink is not the colour of evil on your planet?" *headdesk*

11. Watcha reading, Stel? "Advanced Assassination Techniques, Volume III. It's got a whole section on cowplants." No way are you getting your hands on one of them. "Yet. I have a plan. A hugely and ridiculously complicated plan that I shall implement when I am a teen." Eeep.

12. "Hey, Daniel, what's up? Good to see you again!" "Hey, Beka. Look, I have to tell you something. I think Stella's up to something." "...No kidding. She's evil, Danny!" "Look, if something happens to me, keep an eye on her. She's my daughter, but I don't quite trust her." "Okay, Danny. Only for you." "Thanks, Beka."

13. "Parental Unit! I received an A+ in my Murder-Made-To-Look-Like-An-Accident Class!" "Wow! An A+ in Maths! That's great, honey!" "You humans are so stupid." I think he's trying to block it all out, hon.

14. "Daniel, we have to talk. Stella may be your freaky alien kid, but she's up to something and it's creeping me out! Please, do something!" At least Shenene's wise to Stella.

15. "Look, Shenene, I know Stella isn't your child but she's mine, and I love her because of that. She'll come around, just like I did." "Okay, honey, I'll let it go for now... but if she does something, you and her are out. I'm sorry, I have Sean to think about too." "Deal." No! No! Kick her out! She's evil, I tells you!

16. Sean grows up. Ho hum. Autonomous check-out. Silly outgoing Sims. He's Popularity, by the way. Not sure about the LTW, didn't bother to check.

17. Ah, I have finally shed my curse of missing birthdays. "Now, the plan can commence!" Out of the frying pan, into the fire...

18. "At last! I am old enough to start the plan!" Mind telling me what it is? I can't exactly tell your family. "But you CAN tell Bella, and that's the important bit. Nice try." Rats. She rolled Knowledge, with a LTW to become a Criminal Mastermind. Shock horror.

19. "Much better." Why the pseudo-disguise? "I want to look insignificant." Good luck with the skin then, Stella.

20. Okay, you're not going to ingratiate yourself with me by smustling. What are you up to? "I'm going on a Parental Unit-Spawn holiday." Erm. We call them Father-Daughter holidays. "Same difference."

21. All packed? "Yep. Got my persian cat, mechanical hand, and doomsday device all packed." Har de har.

22. If I'm right, this holiday's not an actual "holiday". So why are you soaking up the rays? "Gotta fake it for my Parental Unit's sake." I hope you get burnt.

23. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! "Ouch. Sunburn." Serves you right! "Ooh, that's it. You're going DOWN."

24. Sneaking out of the hotel at midnight? Tut tut. "Shush. Parental Unit Daniel is asleep. If you wake him I will go after your Simself." She's a vampire, kid. She'd squish you. "Only at night." Oh. Right.

25. Ah-ha! I know what you're up to! "Green girl help Witchy?" "Sure, sure. Do I get Mr. Mickles in return?" "Witchy was thinking of giving green girl a flatscreen TV, but Witchy can give Mr. Mickles to green girl instead." Get the TV! "Get OUT of my head!"

26. "Green girl fix all Witchy's things! Here!" "Awesome. Toodles!" "Waitwaitwait! Green girl be careful with Mickles! Very dangerous!" "Pfft. Whatever, weird dude." And the plot thickens.

27. "Might as well have a bit of a rest now that the primary objective has been taken care of." Oh, you have a checklist then? Steal a voodoo doll, learn the Hula, take over the world? "No. I'm relaxing. Evil geniuses need R&R occasionally."

28. Even with their embarassing parents? "Parental Units. And yes. I don't want Parental Unit Daniel to figure out what I'm doing yet, so I have to act." You should win an Oscar. "A what?" Nevermind.

29. Home again, home again. Working out? "Yes. I need to be STRONG. And wait'll you see what I've built in the backyard." Something tells me I don't want to see it. "Your loss."

30. "Hey, Shenene! Sean! Paren.... uh... Father! Come out here for a minute!" Don't go! Please, don't! "Coming, Stella."

31. "What do you think of my SimCage?" "It's very nice dear... Hey! Where'd the door go?" "Muahahahahahaha! You are my prisoners now! I have given you all you will need to survive. Now I am off to college, to take care of Bella!" "But Stella! I'm your father!" "I am sorry, Parental Unit, but if I don't imprison you too, you'd let the others out when I left, and attempt to warn Bella. By the way, there are no phones in there. So long!" And the plan is revealed. Stella is going to PAY.

32. "Oh am I? I'm going fairly well at the moment." I'll tell Bella. "Ah, but you can't. Legacy Sim Code, Paragraph 4758. You can't warn the heir of any attempts on his/her life. It detracts from the plot." Curse her, she's right.

33. "Ah, the taxi is here. Off I go, to take hold of my destiny!" Not if I can help it. That's it for the interruption. Tune in next time, for the next phase of Stella's plan. I'm in trouble now!