Chapter 3.1: Good Evening, Gladys

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Chapter 3.1 of The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy

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Chapter 3.1: Good Evening, Gladys

  1. 1. Welcome back to the Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy! If you haven't read any of the previous chapters, you probably should. Last time we saw the Chandlers, Daniel and our heir Rebakah had left the Legacy lot and headed off to college. And Daniel was plotting... something I've remodeled the Greek House too, note that it's less excessive.
  2. 2. Already, three-bolt sparks are flying between Daniel and Shenene, the generation two placeholder. "He's hawt. And who are you?" Oh, you can hear me now. I'm Fire, the Legacy creator. Clearly, you are part of the legacy now. In one way or another.
  3. 3. Rebakah is looking through the directory for a suitable male for the continuation of the legacy. "Hello, can I speak to Damin McCullough?" FIngers crossed!
  4. 4. First kiss! This is sweet. Perhaps Daniel will give up on his legacy domination plans. "Don't bet on it." Crud.
  5. 5. You have no idea what you're in for, Shenene. He's going to take you on a hell of a ride. "Perhaps I can convince him to change bis mind about the heirship thing." I hope so.
  6. 6. And now they're making out. They can't keep their hands off each other. "We're not making out... we're, uh... making Baked Alaska! Yeah! Mmph!" Don't you need... ingredients for that? "We haven't -mmm- gotten that far yet." Obviously.
  7. 7. Ah, here is Rebakah's first suitor - Damion McCullough. He's not too bad looking, even though he does have squirrel cheeks and squinty eyes.
  8. 8. Rebakah wastes no time in charming him. "He's hawt. Can I keep him? Please?" If you have good chemistry. Let me check...
  9. 9. O.M.G. THREE BOLTS! I am never this lucky with un-fiddled-with relationships! He's all yours, kiddo. Who am I to try and break up true love?
  10. 10. Whoa. That was fast, even for a three bolt relationship. "Mmmmmpph..." That's so cute!
  11. 11. "Mine. Mine mine mine mine." "You're beautiful. I love you." Love sure makes some of us eloquent. Or not, eh, Beka? "Quiet. He's mine mine mine."
  12. 12. Meanwhile... Daniel is planning something. "Shenene, though you do not share my ideals of world domination, I love you and want to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?" Squee!
  13. 13. "Shiny!" Say yes. You'll be good for him.
  14. 14. "Yes! Yes! Of course!" First engagement in the family. Daniel, you do know that no heir is allowed to get married, right? "Yeah, but I'm not married to her yet. Just engaged. That allowed?" *sigh* Unfortunately, yes.
  15. 15. Makeover time for Damion. "Who was that?" "Um. That was Fire. Usually only people who are destined to stay in the legacy can hear her. So, that means... squee!"
  16. 16. Nice job, Beka. The sunnies hide the squinty eyes, but I'm not sure if I like them.
  17. 17. Daniel and Shenene have taken to a new form of exercise. "Practice makes perfect!" Right. I might leave you two alone for a bit.
  18. 18. Alejandro! Go home! The crazy llama dude is back, and he's taken to the hot tub rather than the bubble blower. Seeing as we no longer have a bubble blower.
  19. 19. "Mmm. Cookies." *munch munch* I love the AL vending machines. Seriously, they are cool. I want to try half the stuff they have. Chocolate clusters, mmm. "There's chocolate? I want!" Maybe when you're less full.
  20. 20. ALEJANDRO! Go HOME! "..." Damn deaf townies.
  21. 21. Aha! You're going to poison Rebakah with that Cup O' Ramen! "...No. I'm hungry. I like to eat when I'm hungry. See, it makes me less hungry." Can't blame me for being jumpy. "No, I suppose not. Muahaha."
  22. 22. ALEJANDRO! GO AWAY! "Maybe if I stare blankly at him, he'll go away." No. Hustle him along.
  23. 23. Why am I plagued by annoying mascots? The cow just shoved poor Shenene! "Make it go away!" "Mooo!"
  24. 24. "Daniel! I'm sick of you trying to take over the legacy! Look, I can handle the frog in my bed, I can handle the deliberately broken appliances, but the arson is too much!" "You're just sore because I'd make a better heir than YOU." "I can't believe you! Heirship is determined by gender, not ambition!" "That's what YOU think!"
  25. 25. "I'm sick of him, Fire! Can't you make him drop out?" Nuh uh. I couldn't do that to Shenene. Plus, I think she's affecting him. He hasn't tried to cowplant you once! "We don't have a cowplant." Exactly. He hasn't attempted to acquire one yet.
  26. 26. "Hi, Bek- mmmmph!" What a welcome.
  27. 27. Awww. Twoo Wuv. I almost wish Matriarchy Sims could get married. These two would make a great couple.
  28. 28. "Do you mind? We're trying to suck face in private!" "Hmmmmm..." All right. I'm going.
  29. 29. Isn't this sweet? Damion did this autonomously. He's such a nice boy. Perfect for the legacy.
  30. 30. "Rrrgh! Daniel did this on purpose!" Conspiracy theorist much? "It's not like I don't have reason to be one." Very true.
  31. 31. "Mine." "I love you, Beka. I want to be the father of your children." Whoa, he moves as fast as she does.
  32. 32. The Greek Housers are all sitting on perfect GPAs due to my paranoia about academic probation. I don't want this to last any longer than it has to. "Man, I hate assignments.
  33. 33. Rebakah, what happened? "He... he... he pushed me!" That is IT. I need a little talk with Danny Boy.
  34. 34. DANIEL! "What?" Enough is enough! You are going to be nice to your sister and apologise to her. If you don't, I will starve you to death. Or drown you. Take your pick. "All right."
  35. 35. "Beka? I'm sorry I pushed you." And? "Okay, I'm sorry about the death threats too."
  36. 36. "It's okay, Daniel. I know it's the evil genius gene talking. Just try not to do it again." "Okay." There. Problem solved.
  37. 37. "Whoa. Crazy chicken dude. Midnight. This place is wacky." Well, it's called the Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy for a reason. "Is he another mascot?" "Bwuk?"
  38. 38. "I am arresting you for violating law #048562957403/C. Resistance is futile." "Hey, isn't that the law that says no citizen is permitted to wear a plaid shirt with yellow socks?" "SILENCE!" "Hey, could you tighten the cuffs a bit? I still have feeling in my little fingers." *clink* "I was being sarcastic." "SILENCE!"
  39. 39. "Get in." "Hey, this is a limo! I thought cop cars had flashy lights and all." "It's... being repaired. Yeah. Now, SILENCE!" Yes, readers, Daniel is being Secret Society-ised. Which means he has cowplant access. Oh dear.
  40. 40. "Awesome, Secret Society. Hey, what's that over there?" No. Don't touch that.
  41. 41. "Cowplant. Pretty cool. I shall call her Gladys." Please don't take her with you...
  42. 42. I have a bad feeling about this.
  43. 43. ZAP! "OMG! Shenene! Are you okay?" She'll be fine. She had high motives before the zappage.
  44. 44. That'll learn her for trying to tinker with the microwave with only two mechanical points. "Shenene. Don't do it again. I couldn't handle a Shenene-less Daniel. Go get some mechanical points."
  45. 45. I have included way too many pictures of the lovebirds. "I don't think you've put in enough." I don't want the audience to be too grossed out.
  46. 46. Wow, a civil conversation. "Remember when we moved out of home?" "Yeah. I miss that place. I want to go back there someday." Or not.
  47. 47. All right, who broke the computer? Shenene? "I'm innocent!" No you're not. Rebakah, broken computer in aisle four!
  48. 48. Shenene, I have forgiven you for breaking the computer. "Yay!" But now you must do something for me.
  49. 49. "What, pick a placeholder?" No, I've chosen her. You need to get her to pledge. "Piece of cake."
  50. 50. Glitched punch cups! I love how they just sit there, quietly defying the laws of physics.
  51. 51. When Mascots Go Bad, Part One. I smell a fight.
  52. 52. When Mascots Go Bad: Part Two. I really hope Alejandro wins here. He is a member, after all.
  53. 53. When Mascots Go Bad: Part Three. What? How could Alejandro let that cow win? That's pathetic.
  54. 54. "Welcome to Aspirational Labs, Rebakah Chandler." "Crazy guy with electric socket hair!" I'm trying to get Beka her plaque. For the Legacy Wall.
  55. 55. And there's Alejandro. Again. He was in the hot tub during a thunderstorm. Moron.
  56. 56. *Hello?* "Hi, dad." *Rebakah? Is this you?* "Yeah." *I expected to hear from you sooner. Your brother called ages ago.* "What? I've only just managed to trace you!" Daniel's in trouble.
  57. 57. "How dare you keep this from me! He's my father too!" "You never asked me for his number!" "I have a right to know him!" "Well, you should have asked me!" This is going nowhere.
  58. 58. "I think it's time Gladys came out of my inventory. Make her an enclosure, will you?" No. I won't. "Then I'll leave her on the lawn where anyone can get eaten by her." Fine.
  59. 59. *gulp* Here's Gladys' new home. "Excellent." Lock the gate, Daniel. Or I will make her eat YOU.
  60. 60. "Hey, what's this?" That is Gladys the cowplant. "Ooh, cake!" Don't touch that. "The gate's locked anyway."
  61. 61. "Zzzz... world domination... zzz..." He scares me even when he's asleep.
  62. 62. Daniel! Go feed Gladys. "I'm in the middle of my term paper here." She's got her cake out. "All right, all right."
  63. 63. "Who's a good evil cowplant? You are! Yes, you are!" That's... sick.
  64. 64. "FIRE!" Yes? "No, FIRE!" Oh. SHENENE! "Wasn't me!"
  65. 65. This is Jacqueline London, the girl I have chosen to be our next placeholder. "I think this'll be a great opportunity. Thanks for asking me to pledge!" "You have no idea what you're in for. This place is nuts."
  66. 66. Ouch. Shenene is stuck in the wall. Yeah, that must hurt.
  67. 67. This is so sweet. Daniel's having a human moment.
  68. 68. Oh, I love this picture. Rebakah's all "Is he going to be mean to me?" and Shenene's all "Don't say anything stupid, honey." Classic.
  69. 69. "Step right up to the makeover chair, where you'll find the REAL you!" Yeah, Jackie needs a new 'do. Badly.
  70. 70. "Madame likes?" "Too right! I look hawt!" The style doesn't quite suit her, but I'm not allowed to use CC. So I'm stuck.
  71. 71. *munch munch* Chocolate clusters? "Chocolate clusters!" *munch munch*
  72. 72. "Hey, the gate's open." Rebakah. Don't go in there. "But there's cake! With frosting!" Rebakah. DON'T TOUCH THAT!
  73. 73. Oh no. No. Not possible. NO!
  74. 74. Rest in peace, Rebakah Holly Chandler. LTW: Head of SCIA (not achieved) Children: None Grandchildren: None You were too young, Beka. That's the end of the chapter. Tune in next time to see me wring Daniel's neck.

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