Uncanny Valley Week 2 - Citizen


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Dates dates dates dates dates dates dates!

And babies. And flowers.

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Uncanny Valley Week 2 - Citizen

  1. 1. Ni hao~ Welcome back to Uncanny Valley, the home of really bizarre pillow talk!I know, I know; youre remembering the order from last week, when it wentLindemann>Duman>Hsia>Citizen, but if you remember that far back, you also know Ifucking did it wrong, too. So were popping in in the right order this time, and checking inon the Citizens.
  2. 2. Remember this map? Yes? No? Vaguely? Well, were basically going in a clockwise spiralfrom Heavens place around to Agnar & Eyulfs. Easy peasy, steak & cheesy. This is goingto get less and less straightforward as we proceed and add more familes.Got it? Good. On with the show.
  3. 3. When last we left off, Esperanza was sewing her wild oats as she pleased, and Johan wasin pursuit of everything in a set of heels. This is why I like this house.Best part about this shot? No reflection. Heh. Well, that and the whole pyjamas thing, butyou know. Details.
  4. 4. When hes not helping set up things in the “shop” or skilling, Johan calls every woman heknows. Esperanza doesnt give a damn—its not like theyre exclusive or anything.
  5. 5. Will never get tired of this.Never.
  6. 6. As usual, its after sunrise by the time he stops doing whatever takes up his time at night,and he has to hurry to his coffin before he starts to smoke.Remember kids, smoking kills.(I think Im going to have to change the coffin out for that Ikea-knockoff one. This is just abit too morbid and Transylvanian for my concept of him.)
  7. 7. Since the Popularity Sim is bored and wants to invite someone over, I have her call upIbrahim here and wrangle a date out of him.You know, if he would ever finish talking about how much he misses the restaurants of SimCity.
  8. 8. Thats one way to get his attention.
  9. 9. Proceed: date spam!!
  10. 10. Then she politely invites him inside and um...
  11. 11. Yeah./clears throat: The male of the species, sensing grave danger—or perhaps simply that hehas made a deep and frightening error in judgement—leaves the area where copulationtook place.It is almost as if he can feel the change already taking place, deep within his mates body.
  12. 12. The cravings begin soon after.Esperanza: Must. Have. Sugar. And chocolate.
  13. 13. Ibrahim: Is she just hungry? Is she glowing? That was just from being with me, right? Ireally hope thats just from being with me. Thats a lot of Jell-o on her plate. Urge toflee...rising.
  14. 14. Ibrahim: You know, I should probably go? Its getting late.Esperanza: Oh. No, thats fine; Im not actually feeling very well right now. Kinda woozy.Ibrahim: CRAP.
  15. 15. Honey, no. We just got those water mains, please dont break them.
  16. 16. Good haul! Its amazing the things you can find buried in the dirt. All pristine and shit.....Four thousand miles away from a coast, port or museum. Still, good on ya!
  17. 17. And the parasite begins to take hold. That plate? Third or fourth thing shes had to eattoday. This is shaping up to be a bad one.
  18. 18. What else is there to do here but tend shop and follow the pregnant girl around?
  19. 19. Why, date, of course!
  20. 20. Viewers, Id like to introduce you to Mini Skirt Partygirl! I dont actually remember he realname, and shes just aspiration fodder anyway, so it doesnt matter.
  21. 21. A couple of Sweet Talks later, and shes putty in his hands.
  22. 22. Purchase a Flower Arrangement? I think that can be arranged. And yes, youre readingthat right—shes a Family Sim. Throw this one back man, she is not a keeper.
  23. 23. Its now almost fall, and were getting low on food, so its victory garden time. Its somethingto do when the night wears long, I suppose.
  24. 24. Esperanza helps, too.
  25. 25. The shop Ive mentioned. Sometimes people really want a vase full of daisies, man. Donthate.Do note that the big box o flowers next to the counter isnt actually for sale: its just therefor decs. On my word. /crosses heart.
  26. 26. Customers piling up, plants unwatered, arrangement unfinished, and whats the ownerdoing?Loosing all of her cookies. Feel kinda bad for her. Shes a trooper, though.
  27. 27. She did this at least three moretimes.Trooper.Also, that should be a sillyquestion by now.
  28. 28. In between bouts of dry-heaving and shoving plants into little glass jars, Esperanza takestime out to call her good friend, Euphie.Esperanza: Pregnant? Youre kidding.Euphie: Its what it sounds like to me, hon. That happens when you play “Hide the Salami”with the boys. Just drink lots of fluids and take it easy.
  29. 29. Later that day...Esperanza: Excuse me, disembodied voice in the sky? Something weirds going on!
  30. 30. Boink!I hope this answers your previous question.
  31. 31. Not that her condition stops her from earning a living. ...As it were.
  32. 32. In fact, she often works until exhaustion. But then, shes easily exhausted these days.
  33. 33. Date Spam 2: Revenge of the Spamening! Family Sim Partygirl is back again. Hereshoping he isnt making a terrible mistake.
  34. 34. Pretty sure hes in his coffin by now, hon. Also, come back by later, buy some flowers.Make yourself useful.
  35. 35. Cravings being what they are, Esperanza makes a serving dish of grilled cheeses andthen proceeds to eat like. Three. In one sitting.I cant imaging thats doing wonders for her Bladder motive, but ah well.
  36. 36. JOHAN. GET OUT OF THE SUN. IT IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.Paperguy: ...Is that dude...smoking?
  37. 37. When you find yourself pregnant with your neighbors lovechild, whats a girl to do butinvite over her bestie? The one whos been through it all before?
  38. 38. That, and break out your most comfy dress & flats, and make some tea.
  39. 39. And then this chick came back an—DA FUQ??? Who—wh—th—holy crap! Who even leaves a piano as a date gift? I meanreally? That must have been some shifting!..../sells >_>
  40. 40. Hoping to make himself more useful around the house, Johan sets it upon himself to fixthe typewriter.It only makes sense, as hes the one who broke it.
  41. 41. ...I may, however, have neglected to take into account his lack of Mechanical skill.Dont worry, man, Im pretty sure eyebrows grow back.
  42. 42. Sexy Elf Guy drops by and I have Esperanza go greet him, because she had one of thoseMeet New Person +1000 wants in her bar.And I may or may not be hoping for a couple at some point. Just saying.
  43. 43. Esperanza: Oh, Im fine, you know! Pregnant. Barefoot. Standing in the kitchen. Its allgood.Stephanie: Every womans dream, huh?At least she has a sense of humour about it.
  44. 44. Time flies when youre having fun.Esperanza: Wo-ree!Spin and catch, hon. Just spin and catch.
  45. 45. Outside, by the dangerous, jury-rigged electrical device and observed by the townies:nowhere Id rather give birth, how about you?Esperanza: ¡AY DIOS MIO! —Oh, un bebé!
  46. 46. Humans and assorted sundry other gentlefolk, I present to you: María Suzan Duman de laCruz.Mouthful, eh? Hush, I like it.
  47. 47. And since theres no end to the chores in this town, its almost immediately back toweeding/skilling/managing shop, with the added bonus of nappies and bottles! Oh happyday.
  48. 48. Johan: So, you new about town? Hoping to buy some flowers for the kitchen? Makingacquaintances?
  49. 49. Johan: HISSSSS!Esperanza: Very subtle, sweetheart.
  50. 50. This little flower shop (that I have yet to truly name) often operates long into the evening,because theyre both up (briefly) and Esperanza doesnt have to stop making flowers tocheck out customers and restock the merchandise. And since Johan doesnt have a clueabout flower arranging, he can handle the gritty bits. He likes gritty bits, anyway.Also! Note the vase of tulips! She has her bronze badge!
  51. 51. And then this happens. No chimes, no worries.But you knew this was going to happen, right? Right.
  52. 52. If you feelin like a pimp, go on brush your shoulders off—Sorry. That was embarrassing for me, too. Lets, uh, never speak of this again.
  53. 53. Sometimes, she sits in his room and reads, watching him sleep.Its like Twilight, only in reverse.And not as gross.
  54. 54. Other times, she just puts María in the baby bouncer and paints for a while. Now that Ithink of it, theres two easels in this house, and theyre almost always covered in paintingsof varying states of completion. At least theyre good for dough at the moment.
  55. 55. Which is, of course, not the only thing theyre good for.I dont remember if those are pole beans or eggplants. Probably eggplants.
  56. 56. Theres only one reason the bed gets made in this house. You know what that reason is. Idont even have to say anything.
  57. 57. Random Created Townie walkby gets greeted later that day...
  58. 58. And theres a brief reprieve for some sales revenue...
  59. 59. (You. Yes you. Get in my gene pool.)
  60. 60. And then Gary comes over! And brings Handsome Elf Guy! And they talk about....lube.Yeah I dont even.
  61. 61. Hes not the only one, though, cause like the whole town is here. The whole town. Andthen some.See the cake in the background? Guess what time it is!
  62. 62. BIRTHDAY PARTY TIME!The only reason were having one of these is because someone Wanted one. And its notthe someone the party is for.
  63. 63. I guess its a bit too cold out here for a sleeveless dress, so I think I can forgive the Maxis-mesh maternity wear.
  64. 64. Finally, everyone gathers around for the caking of the baby. Many noise makers arebroken out and most of the townspeople rejoice!
  65. 65. Father is present, but not all here.
  66. 66. And then the rock, and the toss, aaaaand—
  67. 67. Ta-da! Toddler María! Look out for that faceful of confetti, Esperanza.
  68. 68. Oh yes. Very much yes. A nice blend of both parents. I cant wait to see how she looks asshe grows.
  69. 69. Then I have her set María down so she can socialise with the only other child in town.Allison wonders who this tall lady is, and why shes fascinated by her. First time Ive seen a“___ is a Popularity Sim!” done by a toddler.
  70. 70. Whoops! First instruction to Huggle didnt go so well!
  71. 71. Second one goes fine, though. ~Huggle~
  72. 72. Amusing Simultaneous Swooning. No one can resist his swank vampiric charms.Apparently.
  73. 73. And whats this?
  74. 74. Why, its the Have a Fabulous Party Dongle!
  75. 75. And I figure I could give the tot a haircut, and maybe a change of clothes. I like her with thecurly hair.Actually, I just like curly hair in general. So there. So María gets beach waves.
  76. 76. And so begins the barrage of Potty Training Face. You know it, I know it.
  77. 77. Then its back to romancing the roommate. I dont think he minds.
  78. 78. Its about 8pm on Sunday night; a little later than usual, but I wanted to finish the party, sowere going to be moving on now.
  79. 79. —Oh, and last but not least, Marías personality spread. Thats right: ONE single nicepoint. Yikes. This should be fun :3Before I send you off this time, I have a few slides that didnt quite fit into the narrative?But I wanted to present them to you anyway, because you might get a giggle out of them.
  80. 80. Outtakes: Oh, Johan. Thats so...so you.
  81. 81. This? This is why I keep letting him call her back for dates. Pretty much noother reason.
  82. 82. He dug this up, mind. Dont ask me why its buried in the desert and in pristine condition.Sims.
  83. 83. Ibrahim: Let me just mop up this puddle for you, woman I knocked up! 8DThats the end! <3