"Heh. You love this picture, don't you?"
It's very 'you.' The sly 'I know something you don't know' look in your eyes. The...
"And, hey, you even let me keep the fauxhawk!"
*drool*
"You could do something about the shirt, though."
You're an adult n...
And Permaplat he gets.

Now go call Christy and move her in and start having kids!
"OK, but I gotta do one thing first."
*scrub scrub scrub scrub*

Neat freak *eyeroll*

His new LTW is to raise 20 kittens/puppies. Heh heh heh heh NO!
"Christy! Move in with me and let's make some Eeevil childrinions!"
"Sure thing, Larch! Um, do they have to be Eeevil?"
"Y...
What is it with the Uglacy Vetinaris and breeches? Hey, Larch, this is how you make them look
good!

Her name's Christy Ba...
Larch: Well, this should be interesting. My fiancee is meeting my mother for the first time.
Christy: Slurp snargle snarf ...
So, yeah, remodeled the Uglacy house, as you may have noticed. Garage, pond, greenhouse,
cowplant, wall o' portraits 'n' g...
Larch has been making a snowman army. Can you tell? I think they're trying to recruit the
penguin.


Beeeeep beeeeep beeee...
Ha?

Um.

Oh, crap.

Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap
ORSON!

Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap

But you've never set ANYTHING on fire before! Are you taki...
Nonononononononononononononononononononononononono

Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap

Pleasedon'tdie...
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou

Breathing is good. Yay breathing. Sweet oxygen, how I've...
"You're my sweetie pie
The apple of my eye
Thanks for not letting me die
I didn't want to crispy-fryyyyy!"

"Of course I w...
"Now that Dad's not dead, how's about throwing me a wedding?"

Ask and ye shall receive!
I can only invite 2 people to a party, so I invited Juniper and Stephan, and then called up Banyan,
Cypress, Sycamore, and...
"Christy, we have two inexplicable bolts, you're moderately Eeevil, and I love you and want you to
spend the rest of your ...
"Larch, I love you though even though you're not stinky, and although I'm not sold on this whole
Eeevil thing, I want to m...
"Can I have a baby now?"
"Can I have a bar costing at least $1000 now?"
I felt bad that Orson never got to have a wedding party, so I had Christy toast him. For booze,
everybody shows up: Junipe...
"Well, Mrs. Vetinari? Want to see if we can get a lullabye?"
"Only if we can do it in this expensive bed, Mr. Vetinari."

...
And Christy's having a miserable time of it. She threw up, used the Energizer, threw up, threw up,
cleaned the toilet, and...
zzzzzzzzzMalcolmLandgraabishotzzzzzzzzzz

What's the rule about heart-farting Malcolm Landgraab? STOP IT. He's a GUY, and ...
Christy gets her first bump. I feel sorry for her, so she's gonna spend the next couple of days
meditating.

Her turnons a...
Baby time!

She looks like Yvette did when she gave birth.
Hooray baby! Little brown-eyed, brown-haired girl baby!

I'm going with flowers for Gen 3.
Meet Zinnia!

What, you thought...
"Mmmmm.... MILWH..."
MILWH?
"Mom I'd Like to WooHoo."
Ah.
"Larch, can you take the baby?"
What? What? No! No taking the ba...
Aaaand we get a brown-haired, blue-eyed boy baby. I gotta say, I love the way blue eyes look
against the darker skintones....
Larch: "Time to sleep, tiny minion."
Zee: "Brrp."
Larch: "Who's Daddy's little minion? Come on, who's Daddy's little minion?"
Christy: "You're going to give him a complex, ...
"Adorable grandbaby!"

Orson's still awesome with the young'uns.

"You know, Isaac made this sound like a chore, but it's ...
"Mmmm... two bolts with Minion Wife..."
"Mmmm... in-laws taking care of twins..."
Zee grows up! And she's not a wee Larch clone!

Heh. It just might be starting to look like an Uglacy around here.
Larch takes care of Finn. Looks like he got his daddy's eyes and his mommy's everything else,
but it's still too soon to c...
Zee looks like she maybe has Larch's nose.

You know how sometimes kids get seemingly random personality stats? So, someti...
Teeth...hurting...from...cuteness...
"Awwww. Finn, are you Daddy's littlest minion?"
" 'ess."

And he is, too. A wee Scorp...
It's June!
"Would you send my dad on a date already? He's whining again."
Still? Well, at least you'll be Permaplat soon.
...
"Stephan, will you move in with me?"
"Of course, cherie!"
June: "Leopard print! Yowza!"
Stephan: "What is zis leopard print? Tres tacky!"
"You see? Not an animal skin in sight!"

Yeah, yeah, go make me some cute babies.

Stephan Wren, Virgo 9/2/6/3/5 (another ...
"Juniper, cherie, you are ze most beautiful woman I've ever met."
"Tee hee! Aspiration points tickle!"
"So apparently I have to get my dad a grandchild before he dies."
"I'll do my best to 'elp you wiz zat."

I love June's ex...
"So you're my future son-in-law, are you?"
"Oui. We met at Juniper's graduation party, remember?"
"That was you? Weren't y...
Wedding party time! One way or another, invited Orson, Larch, Christy, Cypress, Malcolm, and
Banyan. Sycamore just wandere...
"Stephan, I want to marry you and have an adorable baby or two, and maybe a bird, and a kitty,
and a bar, and go on a date...
"Juniper, I promise to give you whatever you want, except for maybe all of ze puppies, and to add
my amazing genetics into...
"Can I have a kitty now?"
"Can I gain a skill point now?"
"Oooh, that sounds like fun, can I gain a skill point now too?"
Who manages to make it down to the lawn?

Cypress, Malcolm, and, waaaaaaaaay back there on the deck, Banyan. Orson and Isa...
Is there anyone who hasn't heart-farted for Malcolm Landgraab?

Juniper, you just got married to the guy walking next to y...
And who does Malcolm Landgraab heart-fart for? Gotta be Banyan!
Once again, when the booze is broken out, the masses gather. Calista just got home from work,
and made a beeline for the c...
"We still need to Try For Baby, Stephan."
"I 'ave no problems wiz zat."

Second time's the charm! Juniper's pregnant, and ...
Isaac and Calista are still totally into each other. They're constantly interacting with each other on
free will.
June goes Permaplat and has the "Am I pregnant?" moment at the same time. Hooray--now I
never have to look at her Want Pan...
Isaac and Calista's last date, one way or another. His life bar's getting mightily short, so I had him
retire from his job...
"I love you."
"I love you too."


*sniffle*
Anniversary party! Invited Orson, Larch, Cy, Bana, Cami, and Malcolm (who spent the party
playing the drums--badly--on the...
"Hahahahaha! You set yourself on fire?"
"Isaac, it's NOT FUNNY!"
"Yes it is!"
"My wife had to put me out!"
"Does she remem...
"Doubleyoo tee eff, Cypress?"
"Shocking, eh?"
"No, the joy buzzer still isn't lethal, but being shoved through the cabinet...
"Oh my gosh, June, you're pregnant!"
"The gigantic belly kind of gives it away."
"Babies are the best! I have twins! It's ...
"Eh, I'd rather have a kitty."
"You know you have to have one more actual human baby, right?"
"Maybe I'll eventually roll ...
Nooo! I need one more day! Half a day, even!

"There's a weird guy in my living room, and some women with coconut bras. Wh...
"Whoa, dude, time to go. Take your umbrella drink and let's get a move on, brah! The curls are gnarly, the
bubble blowers ...
"Come on, brah, the pizza won't stay hot forever."
"Do I get to date?"
"Pick a Betty of your choice!"
"Hooray! Bubbles, um...
RIP Isaac Vetinari, Prettacy founder. The sophomore year re-roll did you no favors when you
ended up Pleasure. Serious Sim...
Did manage to get the platinum grave, though. Under the Legacy Tree as per handicap
requirements. Also under his portrait ...
*sniffle sniffle* "Dad's dead! He never got to meet his grandchild!"
Yeah, he missed it by a few hours. Sorry.
"Can I have...
I'd be more sad about Calista dreaming about Isaac after he died if she hadn't immediately rolled
the want to fall in love...
June has the baby (only one, happily) around midnight, six hours after Isaac died.

Hooray for recessives: little Jonquil ...
"Bon nuit, mon petit homme."
Is Yvette watching? Because, look: Knowledge Sim who got temporarily platinum off a Have A
Baby want, who puts the baby in...
Of course, Calista is great with Jon too. It seems like all the attention she gave Isaac, what with
the flirting and playi...
Calista's the one to get to Jon when he grows up! I can't tell whose nose he has, and I hope he
grows into it, but I expec...
"Come to Pere, Jean!"

Stephan got Aspiration points for teaching Jon to walk. I love this guy! You are so going to get si...
Isaac finally makes an appearance. And for some reason, he seems to have an eyepatch. I'm just
glad he's a) not scaring an...
June's pregnant again. She should give birth the day Jon ages up.
Jon grows up! Ah, the cuteness of a Stephan/Remington kid.
A few hours later, Juniper gives birth to Geranium, another boy. This one's got black hair and blue
eyes.

Mendel would be...
Seriously, I love this guy. If you haven't already married him into a family, DO IT NOW. So
speaketh the Supreme Nerd. Ado...
"No! No talking! Words bad!"

Finn's a stubborn one, that's for sure.
"One foot in front of the other, tiny minion!"
"Daddy, can you put some pants on?"
"For this, I force you to learn to talk...
"Whoopsie doodle, Zee!"
"If I hit the ground, I'm going to be very angry, Grandpa."
"Hey! Someone pay attention to me! Or ...
"So, Larch, my life bar's getting pretty short over here, and I want to say goodbye to everybody."
"Everybody who? Uncle I...
"Dammit, Larch, I want to say goodbye to your brother! This is still my house and I'm inviting him
over! I'm old and I'm g...
"If Cy tries to start trouble, can I use this Dark Lord of the Sith choke-hold on him?"
"No!"
Larch: "Mean Smustle face WOOT!"
Bana: "Parties are awesome!"
Cami: "There's a chess board upstairs, right?"
"So, Dad, I guess this means you're getting ready to die, huh?"
"Yes, Cy, I know it's hard to accept."
"Well then, there's...
"I know about the Legacy, and I know you never considered me for the heir! I know you tried to
keep it a secret from me so...
"That's not fair, Cypress! I had a task to do, and I had to pick the heir I thought had the best
chance of bringing up the...
"I'm really sorry, Uncle Orson. I thought Cy knew, and I was the one who brought up the Legacy
heir thing. I feel like thi...
"...leave my tiny minion alone..."
"... or else!"
"I have a right to know my niece and nephew, Larch!"
"I'd be more inclined to agree if I didn't actually know you. Stay aw...
"Zee doesn't know any better, but I do! You've threatened to kill me more than once, and I'm not
naive enough to believe t...
"As if I'm stupid enough to fall for cowcake. Believe me, I've no desire to risk my life to harm a pair
of diaper-fillers....
"Boys, boys, can't you stop fighting? This is supposed to be a party!"
"Dad, over half the people in this house right now ...
"Too much yelling!"
"Aw, come here, Zee."
"I'm sorry, Zee. Daddy didn't mean to scare you."
"Cypress, stop threating your brother!"
"Hehehe. I have fomented discord...
Jeez, Orson, way to scar the grandchildren for life!
"Grandpa's dying! Oh well." *yanks rabbit ear*
Or not. I had a moment...
"Hey, brah, take the umbrella drink and let's go! I just stoked up the bubble blower and we gotta
get there before it's al...
"Stay cool, brah. Come on, wahines, the curls aren't getting any more gnarly!"

Catch ya later, Spicoli.
RIP Orson Vetinari, Uglacy founder. You got Permaplat really quickly, and things were going well,
but then you married Use...
Platinum grave under the Legacy tree and Orson's portrait. Orson managed to paint a portrait of
Larch before he died, and ...
Aw man. This is how close he was to Orson. Mister "I have one nice point, beat up roommates,
cowplant enemies, poke anyone...
The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 5
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The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 5

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In which there are weddings, babies, and the Grim Reaper, who is not what you think! Also, Eeevil.

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  • The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 5

    1. 1. "Heh. You love this picture, don't you?" It's very 'you.' The sly 'I know something you don't know' look in your eyes. The insouciant smirk. The fauxhawk. The shirtlessness. The overall air of arrogance. "Come on--I make the Eeevil look good." It's the fauxhawk *drool* Mmmm, faaauuuuxhaaaawwwwk... Yes, the Vetinari Dualegacy is back, along with everyone's favorite befauxhawked bastion of Eeevil, Larch Vetinari, Gen 2 Uglacy heir. This pic is from his college days, but he's all grown up now.
    2. 2. "And, hey, you even let me keep the fauxhawk!" *drool* "You could do something about the shirt, though." You're an adult now. Wear the shirt. "Awwww." Shut up and get a job. Larch is a 10/10/9/3/1 (and he lives up to every one of those nice points) Aries Family Sim who wants to reach the top of the education career. Happily, it's the first one listed on the computer, and he has the skills and friends to go Permaplat in one promotion.
    3. 3. And Permaplat he gets. Now go call Christy and move her in and start having kids! "OK, but I gotta do one thing first."
    4. 4. *scrub scrub scrub scrub* Neat freak *eyeroll* His new LTW is to raise 20 kittens/puppies. Heh heh heh heh NO!
    5. 5. "Christy! Move in with me and let's make some Eeevil childrinions!" "Sure thing, Larch! Um, do they have to be Eeevil?" "Yes!"
    6. 6. What is it with the Uglacy Vetinaris and breeches? Hey, Larch, this is how you make them look good! Her name's Christy Barthelet (soon to be Vetinari). She's a 4/7/8/3/3 Gemini Fortune Sim with the LTW to reach the top of the law career. She also brought $13K with her. What is it with me and serious Sims? And she's not particularly nice either; good match for Larch and his obsession with all things sinister.
    7. 7. Larch: Well, this should be interesting. My fiancee is meeting my mother for the first time. Christy: Slurp snargle snarf smack smack snargle PseudoBruty: Do I know these people? Christy, if you aren't substantially less annoying than your future mother-in-law, I will feed you to Brunhilde the cowplant.
    8. 8. So, yeah, remodeled the Uglacy house, as you may have noticed. Garage, pond, greenhouse, cowplant, wall o' portraits 'n' graves, Legacy tree, "stuff bunker" for all the things they want that I don't actually want them to use or need them to have access to. Eventually I will get some trees down in there, but I keep picking bad chance cards, because apparently I am optimistic about my chance card odds, of all things to be optimistic about, and every time I think about trees, the Uglacy Vetinaris are flat broke again. OK, so the house is a bit "box with a roof" but whatever, I'm not going to bother remodeling it unless it's unusable, so we'll all just pretend I got creative. I actually can design interesting houses, I swear. In my custom 'hood I have one that looks sort of like Frank Lloyd Wright designed it, provided he'd channeled M.C. Escher and smoked the mortal remains of Timothy Leary first.
    9. 9. Larch has been making a snowman army. Can you tell? I think they're trying to recruit the penguin. Beeeeep beeeeep beeeeep beeeeep beeeeep Heh. Larch and Christy are at work; looks like PseudoBruty's giving breakfast the charcoal briquette treatment. Hahahahahahaha
    10. 10. Ha? Um. Oh, crap. Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap
    11. 11. ORSON! Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap But you've never set ANYTHING on fire before! Are you taking cooking lessons from your wife? I can hear the siren BUT THERE'S NO FIREFIGHTER YET! Eeeeeehhhhhh panicpanicpanicpanic YYYYVEEEEEETTE! HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLP!
    12. 12. Nonononononononononononononononononononononononono Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap Pleasedon'tdiepleasedon'tdiepleasedon'tdiepleasedon'tdie *nail biting**panicked screaming*
    13. 13. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou Breathing is good. Yay breathing. Sweet oxygen, how I've missed you.
    14. 14. "You're my sweetie pie The apple of my eye Thanks for not letting me die I didn't want to crispy-fryyyyy!" "Of course I wouldn't let you flambe, Oliver!" I take back 60% of the bad things I ever said about you. But you still annoy me.
    15. 15. "Now that Dad's not dead, how's about throwing me a wedding?" Ask and ye shall receive!
    16. 16. I can only invite 2 people to a party, so I invited Juniper and Stephan, and then called up Banyan, Cypress, Sycamore, and Malcolm and had them come over. Sycamore and Red Haired Townie Walkby show up for the actual wedding. Orson and Yvette are at work. Everybody else is inside playing darts or chess, except Malcolm, who didn't show up. Larch, your friends SUCK!
    17. 17. "Christy, we have two inexplicable bolts, you're moderately Eeevil, and I love you and want you to spend the rest of your life with me and give me some Eeevil childrinions. And I'll make fat stacks of cash to buy you all the expensive things you roll wants for, and feed anyone who's mean to you to Brunhilde. And you can even drink Enemy Kevin if you want." "In your own way, that's very sweet, honey."
    18. 18. "Larch, I love you though even though you're not stinky, and although I'm not sold on this whole Eeevil thing, I want to marry you and let you buy me expensive stuff to keep me happy until I get Permaplat." "That's more or less sweet of you to say, Christy." If you look in the background, Cypress FINALLY shows up to the wedding.
    19. 19. "Can I have a baby now?" "Can I have a bar costing at least $1000 now?"
    20. 20. I felt bad that Orson never got to have a wedding party, so I had Christy toast him. For booze, everybody shows up: Juniper, Timothy who keeps following Orson home from work (3 days in a row now), Banyan, Orson behind Banyan, Stephan, Christy, Cypress, and Sycamore. Larch is upstairs using the Energizer so he'd be awake enough to go on his Roof-Raiser Honeymoon. Hooray for being my Uglacy Founder, Orson, and for not dying a horrible flamey death!
    21. 21. "Well, Mrs. Vetinari? Want to see if we can get a lullabye?" "Only if we can do it in this expensive bed, Mr. Vetinari." First time's the charm! Five pregnancies in the Dualegacy so far, and this is the first one that happened on the first Try For Baby.
    22. 22. And Christy's having a miserable time of it. She threw up, used the Energizer, threw up, threw up, cleaned the toilet, and threw up again. This is hands down the worst pregnancy I've ever had. I hope I can get Larch abducted so she doesn't have to do this again. Also, alien twins=heir and Black Sheep all rolled into one pregnancy.
    23. 23. zzzzzzzzzMalcolmLandgraabishotzzzzzzzzzz What's the rule about heart-farting Malcolm Landgraab? STOP IT. He's a GUY, and he has NONE of your turnons. And on top of that, you're in here heart-farting him while your wife's praying to the Porcelain God because she's pregnant with YOUR baby! zzzzzzzzzzzzzSohotzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    24. 24. Christy gets her first bump. I feel sorry for her, so she's gonna spend the next couple of days meditating. Her turnons are stink and formal wear, and her turnoff is underwear, until I can get her gold enough to use the Renu-U Orb thing. She and Larch have two bolts for each other, and she also has two bolts for Orson and Cypress. Not a picky one, apparently--any male Vetinari will do. I'd guess that has to do with Gemini being attracted to Aries, and all the Vetinari men are Aries. Whatever, it's still less creepy than the bolt Larch has for Aunt Calista.
    25. 25. Baby time! She looks like Yvette did when she gave birth.
    26. 26. Hooray baby! Little brown-eyed, brown-haired girl baby! I'm going with flowers for Gen 3. Meet Zinnia! What, you thought I was going to go for flowers like Rose and Lily? Hahaha silly person!
    27. 27. "Mmmmm.... MILWH..." MILWH? "Mom I'd Like to WooHoo." Ah. "Larch, can you take the baby?" What? What? No! No taking the baby! "Yay holding tiny baby minion!" CRAP IN A HAT.
    28. 28. Aaaand we get a brown-haired, blue-eyed boy baby. I gotta say, I love the way blue eyes look against the darker skintones. So far he's got the edge on heirship because of that; all he needs to be is ugly. I'm calling him Delphinium. Finn for short. For those of you keeping score at home, I'm now 2 for 5 of natural twins from pregnancies in this Dualegacy. At least three of the four adults here are Permaplat. Hellllooooo SmartMilk and Thinking Caps. But still. More twins? CRAP IN A HAT.
    29. 29. Larch: "Time to sleep, tiny minion." Zee: "Brrp."
    30. 30. Larch: "Who's Daddy's little minion? Come on, who's Daddy's little minion?" Christy: "You're going to give him a complex, sweetie." Finn: "Grb." *jazz hands* Yvette: Who are those people, and what are they doing in my hallway?
    31. 31. "Adorable grandbaby!" Orson's still awesome with the young'uns. "You know, Isaac made this sound like a chore, but it's not so bad." They're not toddlers yet. Just you wait.
    32. 32. "Mmmm... two bolts with Minion Wife..." "Mmmm... in-laws taking care of twins..."
    33. 33. Zee grows up! And she's not a wee Larch clone! Heh. It just might be starting to look like an Uglacy around here.
    34. 34. Larch takes care of Finn. Looks like he got his daddy's eyes and his mommy's everything else, but it's still too soon to call it for sure.
    35. 35. Zee looks like she maybe has Larch's nose. You know how sometimes kids get seemingly random personality stats? So, sometimes, a kid of people with a combined four nice points will end up with, like, ten? Yeah, that didn't happen. Zinn's an Aries 10/10/4/3/1. Much lazier than Larch/Cy/Cami, but Larch will be able to Encourage whatever vestige of The Slouch she might have right out of her. I can deal with plate-farters and neat-freaks. I can live with wallflowers and finger-guns. I can handle bookworms and bathtub piracy. I sort of enjoy the Eeevil, and more than a handful of nice points would be a welcome change of pace. But lazy drives me totally up the wall. The Slouch. The constant sleeping. The unwillingness to do anything. Zee will not be lazy for long!
    36. 36. Teeth...hurting...from...cuteness... "Awwww. Finn, are you Daddy's littlest minion?" " 'ess." And he is, too. A wee Scorpio 7/7/8/3/2. Fits in with the rest of the family--serious and Eeevil. Slapped up a wall between the cribs. Stops 'em from waking each other up. Enough of twin toddler Purgatory!
    37. 37. It's June! "Would you send my dad on a date already? He's whining again." Still? Well, at least you'll be Permaplat soon. "But first I want to gain a skill point. And influence someone to clean. And go on a date. And get married to Stephan. And buy a car. And get a puppy." Juniper Vetinari, Gen 2 Prettacy heir, a 5/6/6/3/5 Aries Pleasure Sim, wants to reach the top of the gamer career. No problem--she's got the skills and the friends, all she needs to do is find the job.
    38. 38. "Stephan, will you move in with me?" "Of course, cherie!"
    39. 39. June: "Leopard print! Yowza!" Stephan: "What is zis leopard print? Tres tacky!"
    40. 40. "You see? Not an animal skin in sight!" Yeah, yeah, go make me some cute babies. Stephan Wren, Virgo 9/2/6/3/5 (another serious neat freak--yawn) Knowledge Sim who wants to reach the top of the education career. Only came in with $4K though, the cheapskate. It's okay, Stephan/Remington! I still love you!
    41. 41. "Juniper, cherie, you are ze most beautiful woman I've ever met." "Tee hee! Aspiration points tickle!"
    42. 42. "So apparently I have to get my dad a grandchild before he dies." "I'll do my best to 'elp you wiz zat." I love June's expression here! It's sort of like 'seductive pixie.'
    43. 43. "So you're my future son-in-law, are you?" "Oui. We met at Juniper's graduation party, remember?" "That was you? Weren't you at Banyan's party too?" "Zat was Drake. We look alike, only 'is eyes are brown." "Ah. Nice man-panties, by the way." "I can get away wiz it. I'm French."
    44. 44. Wedding party time! One way or another, invited Orson, Larch, Christy, Cypress, Malcolm, and Banyan. Sycamore just wandered by on her own, and Larch and Christy were working. What's the first thing that happens? Cy and Malcolm start thinking about Banyan!
    45. 45. "Stephan, I want to marry you and have an adorable baby or two, and maybe a bird, and a kitty, and a bar, and go on a date, and watch some TV..." "Do zose Aspiration points tickle as well?" "GETTING MARRIED WOOT!"
    46. 46. "Juniper, I promise to give you whatever you want, except for maybe all of ze puppies, and to add my amazing genetics into your gene pool, and skill like a madman." "Aspiration points yay!"
    47. 47. "Can I have a kitty now?" "Can I gain a skill point now?" "Oooh, that sounds like fun, can I gain a skill point now too?"
    48. 48. Who manages to make it down to the lawn? Cypress, Malcolm, and, waaaaaaaaay back there on the deck, Banyan. Orson and Isaac were too busy having a pillow fight, and Sycamore was playing chess. Calista was at work. Sweet cracker sandwich--my Sims hate fun!
    49. 49. Is there anyone who hasn't heart-farted for Malcolm Landgraab? Juniper, you just got married to the guy walking next to you! Stop heart-farting Malcolm Landgraab! It was weird when Larch did it, it's weird when you do it, knock it the crap off! And, seriously, you have negative bolts for the guy, why do you heart-fart for him?
    50. 50. And who does Malcolm Landgraab heart-fart for? Gotta be Banyan!
    51. 51. Once again, when the booze is broken out, the masses gather. Calista just got home from work, and made a beeline for the cake and champagne. She's in the reddish purple suit; Stephan's in the white jacket, and Cypress is next to him. Sycamore's in the pink earmuffs, Banyan's in the blue dress, Juniper's in the white dress, Isaac's in the tux next to Juniper, and Malcolm's tucked away behind Isaac. Orson went to pee--old man bladder can't take the toasting.
    52. 52. "We still need to Try For Baby, Stephan." "I 'ave no problems wiz zat." Second time's the charm! Juniper's pregnant, and she might pop out a kid before Isaac goes to meet his maker. If she'd gotten pregnant yesterday, it would have been a sure thing, but this is cutting it close.
    53. 53. Isaac and Calista are still totally into each other. They're constantly interacting with each other on free will.
    54. 54. June goes Permaplat and has the "Am I pregnant?" moment at the same time. Hooray--now I never have to look at her Want Panel again! And can I just say that Game Designer is a sucky top-level job? Since when do top-level jobs involve 8 hours a day, 5 days a week? Stephan isn't working that much, and he's still got several promotions left to go! June, as soon as you're done with the heir-and-a-spare thing, you're getting a new job that won't involve so much actual work.
    55. 55. Isaac and Calista's last date, one way or another. His life bar's getting mightily short, so I had him retire from his job. I'm going to try getting him platinum, meditate until the afternoon, throw an anniversary party, and meditate some more. If June gives birth before he dies, I won't have to worry about him dropping out of platinum since he has the Want for a grandbaby, but if she doesn't, he'll be in green if I don't make him meditate.
    56. 56. "I love you." "I love you too." *sniffle*
    57. 57. Anniversary party! Invited Orson, Larch, Cy, Bana, Cami, and Malcolm (who spent the party playing the drums--badly--on the deck). Orson looks like he knows this is the last time he's going to be seeing Isaac.
    58. 58. "Hahahahaha! You set yourself on fire?" "Isaac, it's NOT FUNNY!" "Yes it is!" "My wife had to put me out!" "Does she remember your name now?" "Not really." "Hahahahahahahahahaha!"
    59. 59. "Doubleyoo tee eff, Cypress?" "Shocking, eh?" "No, the joy buzzer still isn't lethal, but being shoved through the cabinet and fridge really hurts!"
    60. 60. "Oh my gosh, June, you're pregnant!" "The gigantic belly kind of gives it away." "Babies are the best! I have twins! It's like two childrinions for the price of one!"
    61. 61. "Eh, I'd rather have a kitty." "You know you have to have one more actual human baby, right?" "Maybe I'll eventually roll a want for it. Or Stephan will."
    62. 62. Nooo! I need one more day! Half a day, even! "There's a weird guy in my living room, and some women with coconut bras. What's going on?" Death. You know, The Grim Reaper, guy in a black cloak who takes you to your final reward, big menacing figure with a pointy weapon?
    63. 63. "Whoa, dude, time to go. Take your umbrella drink and let's get a move on, brah! The curls are gnarly, the bubble blowers are ready to go, and there's all the Bettys you can stand to talk to!" What the--? Who--? What--? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Who the heck are you? Death Spicoli? "Whoa, dudette, I got an umbrella drink, a lei, and a pair of wahines here. What were you expecting?" Oh, I don't know, someone A LITTLE MORE DISCWORLD, a little less 'Ridgemont High'. "Hey brah, is that a bubble blower upstairs? How 'bout one for the road, yah?" How 'bout you give Isaac his umbrella drink, Spicoli.
    64. 64. "Come on, brah, the pizza won't stay hot forever." "Do I get to date?" "Pick a Betty of your choice!" "Hooray! Bubbles, umbrella drinks, and dating! And maybe the occasional skill point!" "Catch ya later, dudette!" See you over at the Prettacy in a few days. Don't forget the hula girls.
    65. 65. RIP Isaac Vetinari, Prettacy founder. The sophomore year re-roll did you no favors when you ended up Pleasure. Serious Sims should not be Pleasure. Your LTW was 50 Dream Dates, and I was making a run at it when you had twins, and it just didn't happen. Isaac lived to 74 days--he dropped back down into gold right before he blew out the candles on the cake when he turned elder. He left $20K to Calista, $9200 to June, and left some money to Cami, Bana, Orson, and a bunch of his townie friends. You rocked, Isaac, and I feel bad that I couldn't get you Permaplat. Take a well-deserved rest, and try not to scare anyone to death.
    66. 66. Did manage to get the platinum grave, though. Under the Legacy Tree as per handicap requirements. Also under his portrait that Orson painted when they were in college.
    67. 67. *sniffle sniffle* "Dad's dead! He never got to meet his grandchild!" Yeah, he missed it by a few hours. Sorry. "Can I have a puppy?" No. "But my dad's dead!" That does not equal puppy. Puppy plus baby is almost worse than twins. No puppy.
    68. 68. I'd be more sad about Calista dreaming about Isaac after he died if she hadn't immediately rolled the want to fall in love. Geez, could you at least wait until he's been in the ground for a day? Pets have also become her Want Panel Spam. I may actually have to indulge them. Or I could just wait until she dies too.
    69. 69. June has the baby (only one, happily) around midnight, six hours after Isaac died. Hooray for recessives: little Jonquil has blonde hair to go with his big blue eyes!
    70. 70. "Bon nuit, mon petit homme."
    71. 71. Is Yvette watching? Because, look: Knowledge Sim who got temporarily platinum off a Have A Baby want, who puts the baby in the crib even though he too is a neat freak, and who autonomously interacts with his offspring! Not all Knowledge Sims are crappy parents! Stephan/Remington is like this in my custom 'hood too. Can you tell I adore him?
    72. 72. Of course, Calista is great with Jon too. It seems like all the attention she gave Isaac, what with the flirting and playing, she's giving to Jon now. Obviously not flirting with him, but snuggling and feeding and playing with and changing and tucking in.
    73. 73. Calista's the one to get to Jon when he grows up! I can't tell whose nose he has, and I hope he grows into it, but I expect much handsomeness out of him. Jon's yet another Aries, 9/9/6/3/5, so while he might be serious, at least he's not Eeevil. Man, I was really hoping for a bathtub pirate.
    74. 74. "Come to Pere, Jean!" Stephan got Aspiration points for teaching Jon to walk. I love this guy! You are so going to get sick of hearing me say that. Or reading me type that. Whatever.
    75. 75. Isaac finally makes an appearance. And for some reason, he seems to have an eyepatch. I'm just glad he's a) not scaring anyone (although Stephan would probably get a kick out of it) and b) not haunting in his sweatsuit. So far, he's cheered his bed and taken a bath, and then just floated around the backyard for a while.
    76. 76. June's pregnant again. She should give birth the day Jon ages up.
    77. 77. Jon grows up! Ah, the cuteness of a Stephan/Remington kid.
    78. 78. A few hours later, Juniper gives birth to Geranium, another boy. This one's got black hair and blue eyes. Mendel would be proud--perfect Mendelian genetic inheritance in this family. Stephan's blonde, and June's got the recessive blonde gene, so you'd predict 50/50 blonde/black-haired kids, and that's what they got. Gerry also appears to have gotten the caterpillar eyebrows that Banyan was born with as well. That's got to be Calista's contribution.
    79. 79. Seriously, I love this guy. If you haven't already married him into a family, DO IT NOW. So speaketh the Supreme Nerd. Adorable babies. Aspiration points for teaching them things. Autonomous interactions with the family. What's not to love? If I could find a flesh-and-blood version of Stephan/Remington, I would totally marry him. Or at the very least, chain him up in my basement. KIDDING. I'm KIDDING. Chaining people up in basements is WRONG. And anyway, I don't even have a basement. SO THERE. Well, I've been avoiding twin toddler hell for long enough...
    80. 80. "No! No talking! Words bad!" Finn's a stubborn one, that's for sure.
    81. 81. "One foot in front of the other, tiny minion!" "Daddy, can you put some pants on?" "For this, I force you to learn to talk?"
    82. 82. "Whoopsie doodle, Zee!" "If I hit the ground, I'm going to be very angry, Grandpa." "Hey! Someone pay attention to me! Or else!" "I hear there are families full of nice people out there somewhere." Yes, I've heard tales of such mythical beasts too, Orson. I think they're like unicorns and mermaids, and exist only in our imaginations. And if we clap our hands, fairies won't die, or something.
    83. 83. "So, Larch, my life bar's getting pretty short over here, and I want to say goodbye to everybody." "Everybody who? Uncle I's already dead." "Yeah, and thanks for bringing that up. I'd almost forgotten that my only brother died recently." "Uh, sorry. One nice point; I've never actually been sad about anything before." "I want to invite over your brother and your cousins." "Dad, Cy and I don't really get along so much, what with the death threats and all."
    84. 84. "Dammit, Larch, I want to say goodbye to your brother! This is still my house and I'm inviting him over! I'm old and I'm gonna die and you have to be nice to me!" "Okay, okay, Dad, sheeesh. You don't have to get all 'You darn kids get off my lawn!' on me!"
    85. 85. "If Cy tries to start trouble, can I use this Dark Lord of the Sith choke-hold on him?" "No!"
    86. 86. Larch: "Mean Smustle face WOOT!" Bana: "Parties are awesome!" Cami: "There's a chess board upstairs, right?"
    87. 87. "So, Dad, I guess this means you're getting ready to die, huh?" "Yes, Cy, I know it's hard to accept." "Well then, there's just one thing I want to say."
    88. 88. "I know about the Legacy, and I know you never considered me for the heir! I know you tried to keep it a secret from me so that I wouldn't do anything to Larch to get him out of the way! Once you're gone, there's nothing to stop me from striking out at the Uglacy and getting my revenge!" "Uncle Orson, you know this totally isn't my fault, right?"
    89. 89. "That's not fair, Cypress! I had a task to do, and I had to pick the heir I thought had the best chance of bringing up the next generation! That's your brother; he's Family! It wasn't meant to be disrespectful towards you. Think about what you really want to do! You're still my son, Cy, and Larch is still your brother. You don't want to hurt us." "You have no idea how wrong you are. You never should have lied to me." "I didn't lie." "A lie of omission is still a lie."
    90. 90. "I'm really sorry, Uncle Orson. I thought Cy knew, and I was the one who brought up the Legacy heir thing. I feel like this is my fault, and that's so not awesome." "Of course it's not your fault, Bana. I should have handled it differently. I just couldn't think of how to approach Cy with it. Dealing with Eeevil clone children is a lot like playing hopscotch in a minefield." "CYPRESS!..."
    91. 91. "...leave my tiny minion alone..."
    92. 92. "... or else!"
    93. 93. "I have a right to know my niece and nephew, Larch!" "I'd be more inclined to agree if I didn't actually know you. Stay away from my young, impressionable childrinions." "SHE came over to ME, brother."
    94. 94. "Zee doesn't know any better, but I do! You've threatened to kill me more than once, and I'm not naive enough to believe that you don't intend to follow through on that if you get the chance! I have a cowplant out back with your name on it if you so much as look at one of my kids funny."
    95. 95. "As if I'm stupid enough to fall for cowcake. Believe me, I've no desire to risk my life to harm a pair of diaper-fillers. When I hit this Legacy, you'll never see it coming. And that's a promise."
    96. 96. "Boys, boys, can't you stop fighting? This is supposed to be a party!" "Dad, over half the people in this house right now are mean. What did you expect? Rainbows and kitty-cats?"
    97. 97. "Too much yelling!" "Aw, come here, Zee."
    98. 98. "I'm sorry, Zee. Daddy didn't mean to scare you." "Cypress, stop threating your brother!" "Hehehe. I have fomented discord! My work here is done!"
    99. 99. Jeez, Orson, way to scar the grandchildren for life! "Grandpa's dying! Oh well." *yanks rabbit ear* Or not. I had a momentary lapse--you dying in front of the Eeevil childrinion brigade should have no adverse effect on them whatsoever. I can cram two toddlers, two hula dancers, Orson, and Death Spicoli into the nursery. Good to know.
    100. 100. "Hey, brah, take the umbrella drink and let's go! I just stoked up the bubble blower and we gotta get there before it's all gone!" "What the--?" Yeah, that was my reaction too, Orson. Just take the drink and go with the nice surfer punk not- so-Grim Reaper.
    101. 101. "Stay cool, brah. Come on, wahines, the curls aren't getting any more gnarly!" Catch ya later, Spicoli.
    102. 102. RIP Orson Vetinari, Uglacy founder. You got Permaplat really quickly, and things were going well, but then you married Useless PseudoBruty Yvette and had a pair of Eeevil children. You just didn't know quite what to do with them, and there was no good way to handle the Legacy inheritance. You were lucky enough to get to know your grandkids, even if they were more or less Eeevil as well. Orson lived 80 days. He left $20K to Yvette, $10K each to Larch and Cy, $1400 to Zee, $950 to Finn, and some money to his Townie friends. Orson, thanks for rocking. You did the best with what you had, and the Eeevil was not your fault.
    103. 103. Platinum grave under the Legacy tree and Orson's portrait. Orson managed to paint a portrait of Larch before he died, and I think he managed to capture the essence of his oldest Eeevil spawn, which I'm sure we'll see up close eventually. The portrait, that is. The Eeevil's pretty apparent all on its own.
    104. 104. Aw man. This is how close he was to Orson. Mister "I have one nice point, beat up roommates, cowplant enemies, poke anyone who looks at me funny" Eeevil Larch actually cries when Orson dies. I have never seen his "sad" face before. Usually I just get "grrrr" face, "Muahahahaha" face, and various assorted "smug" and "sinister" faces. Coming soon: the second half of Chapter 5, where 3/4 of Gen 3 grows up at least once, and the Gen 1 spouses go with the Duuuuuude Reaper. And Larch will probably make more faces that I will take pictures of and never have occasion to use, but I won't delete them because they crack me up, and I'll probably reiterate my love for Stephan/Remington ad nauseum.

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